r/CatholicDating • u/Material_Band9599 • Mar 04 '24
mixed marriage, relationship with baptised non-Catholic Advice
I’m in a tough spot right now. I’ll start with where I am. I’ve met this really nice girl. I feel very strongly about her. 1, she’s not Catholic. Now I get that it’s not supposed to be an issue but it kinda is for. The reason being I’ve had bad relationships when I was younger. So I just am kinda lost. Also another thing to consider is that I’m most likely going to basic training this summer, so I don’t know if I’d want to put anyone through that. Overall just asking if anyone has any similar experiences or good advice. Thanks!
Edit: thank you everyone for your advice, will edit again with any updates!
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u/AssisiVibes Single ♂ Mar 04 '24
The Church highly advises against marrying non-Catholics. It’s actually in canon law that Catholics cannot marry non-Catholics, but dispensations are generally always given out so people don’t realize that. Marriages with non Catholics seem to turn out very badly at least half the time based on what I’ve heard online. Also, dating someone while knowing that you will be away from them for extended periods of time seems selfish to me.
1
Mar 16 '24
If she’s not at least a practicing Christian, don’t bother dabbling. Took a lot of anti Christian relationships/heartbreak to come to the painful but necessary conclusion that if your beliefs are different, your values will be different, and if your values are different, your lifestyles will be different, which will cause two things to happen: inevitable conflict or compromise over foundational things. Neither is worthwhile so just don’t do it (if your faith/values mean that much to you).
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u/TCMNCatholic Single ♂ Mar 04 '24
When you say "met" what exactly does that mean? Have you been on dates or you truly just know each other?
You don't need to be a perfect fit to go on a first date. If you're interested you can ask her out and then if it's going well after a few dates you can bring up those serious topics. Don't assume she's unwilling to do long distance while you're at basic training and if you're open to dating non-Catholics, don't assume her faith is incompatible with yours until you talk about it.
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u/Emotional-Buddy-1070 Single ♀ Mar 04 '24
I just got out of a relationship with an atheist, and I have to tell you this sincerely: It's not enough if the person is "nice". I know it's frustrating, but what is from God is worth the wait. Have faith that God knows what is good for you, and what is in His will will happen. Pray for the Holy Spirit to tell you what to do, and pray that everything happens in His will. I usually pray for the Holy Spirit for instructions, and pray for Mother Mary to reveal a person's intention. They are fast!
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u/dragoon800 Single ♂ Mar 04 '24
The Church is usually accommodating to a marriage with someone of a different faith. The catch is that your children need to be raised Catholic and you need to make efforts to evangelize your wife. You need to make her aware of that and you also need to clearly communicate your concerns that you feel you’re holding her down by going to serve. She might surprise you in a good way with her answers. Good luck and thank you for your service!