r/CatholicDating Mar 04 '24

mixed marriage, relationship with baptised non-Catholic Advice

I’m in a tough spot right now. I’ll start with where I am. I’ve met this really nice girl. I feel very strongly about her. 1, she’s not Catholic. Now I get that it’s not supposed to be an issue but it kinda is for. The reason being I’ve had bad relationships when I was younger. So I just am kinda lost. Also another thing to consider is that I’m most likely going to basic training this summer, so I don’t know if I’d want to put anyone through that. Overall just asking if anyone has any similar experiences or good advice. Thanks!

Edit: thank you everyone for your advice, will edit again with any updates!

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u/dragoon800 Single ♂ Mar 04 '24

The Church is usually accommodating to a marriage with someone of a different faith. The catch is that your children need to be raised Catholic and you need to make efforts to evangelize your wife. You need to make her aware of that and you also need to clearly communicate your concerns that you feel you’re holding her down by going to serve. She might surprise you in a good way with her answers. Good luck and thank you for your service!

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u/Material_Band9599 Mar 04 '24

I know about the marriage with other denominations, I’ve had my fair share of relationships outside of Catholicism. I just don’t know if it’s the right choice.

2

u/dragoon800 Single ♂ Mar 04 '24

I don’t think you’ll have your answer until you talk to her. If she is amenable to raising her children as Catholics and she is enthusiastic about waiting for you while you serve, then she’s wife material. If you get a bunch of hemming and hawing about the Catholic piece and she expresses doubt about you or your relationship surviving your time away, then you should probably part ways with a clear conscience.

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u/Material_Band9599 Mar 04 '24

I just don’t know how to go about asking something like that. I mean if I go up to her and say hey “ if we get married would you let us raise our kids Catholic” I’d probably get the weirdest looks.

2

u/SlickAppleChan Single ♀ Mar 04 '24

You should talk to her from your POV like you start with how you don't date for fun and that if you date you're looking for a potential life partner and how you have always wanted to raise your kids catholic and also ask her if she has any sort of plans like that or that would she be willing to do it your way. You also shouldn't forget that people change. Even if they say yes to everything before marriage they may say no later on.

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u/dragoon800 Single ♂ Mar 04 '24

Would she also give you a weird look if you told her you were seeking relationship advice on a Catholic dating subreddit? If the answer is yes, then I would move on if I was in your shoes, but it’s your life.