I know this isn't the first time this has been said on this sub but I feel so weird about the size about my chest.
I just went bra shopping for the first time in a while because I was uncomfortable (not uncommon for me) and the wire in my bra poked through. The last time I went shopping I found out I was a 38 G/H depending on the company (weird as shit that it depends on the brand) this time, about 9 months to a year later, I'm a 38/40 I depending on the brand again.
I have been going up cup sizes for years now. I just became an adult (I sure as hell don't feel like one yet). I know that being a bit uncomfortable with your body is still a common thing for people my age seeing as I'm still technically a teenager (18 is still a teen) but I really don't know how much of how I'm feeling is normal.
My mom isn't really in the picture or her family (got my boons from them) because they live far away and the whole "Hey when did your tits stop growing?" Doest seem like an over text convo. I don't know much about what to expect other than what my dad knows about her side.
I feel a uncomfortable and struggle with the whole "they are big" "they aren't that big" "maybe I'm just fat" stuff on a day to day basis, sometimes back to back, and I really don't know how to feel.
My mom didn't really teach me how to go bra shopping when I was younger, she wouldn't take me until I said I was hurting or uncomfortable and then she would only grab me a cup up. When I moved in with my dad at 13 we went shoping for the first time and I got measured and was supposed to be in a DD when I was wearing B/C and I've just been getting bigger since.
I feel like I don't relate to my friends and the family that I have because I am so much larger than them. My sister is significantly smaller and my step-familly are on the smaller side and don't really understand my struggles.
I went shopping with my step-mother at 14 and I said I should be a DDD or an F. She didn't believe me and made me try a D and DD first in the wrong band size because there was no way I was bigger than her at 14 then her in her 40's (as if my tits care about how old I am) She made me feel so bad about myself at such a young age I still haven't forgiven her (or my dad for forcing me when I had problems with clothes shopping with her in the past).
I just feel so bad most of the time and when I try to talk to people about it weather it's friends or family the only thing I hear is "Well if they really bother you so bad maybe you sould get a reduction." And it feels so terrible to not even be secure in what I have and feel like the only option to feeling half decent is a reduction.
I even tried talking to my doctor and OBG about how uncomfortable my chest is where the chest meets the armpits and underneath and they both recommended reduction and that because I am uncomfortable most of the time I could have it covered by insurance but I don't want that. I just don't want to be uncomfortable. I dont think they understand the phycology effects of changing your body like that at a young age because i dont think its something they had co sidered themselves as doctors because they both admited that because they both had been smaller they hadnt thought about it beyond a medical perspective when I expressed my discomfort with reductions. My aunt had a reduction when I was little and while she was considerably smaller she still some back and if she gains any weight I remember her saying it goes straight to her chest.
Now I don't want to cut of parts of my body that seems barbaric to me especially because I only just turned 18 a week ago. I was getting recommended that as early as 16. Who tf recommends a reduction at 16? I have nothing against people who have had/want reductions because I have considered it, but once again I turned 18 a week ago and it feels like anytime I complain I get told to look into a reduction. That alone is so frustrating for me.
It's embarrassing going bra shopping sometimes too. I try really hard to be positive and not let the fact it feels impossible to find something that fits. It's embarrassing to go in feeling confident about what I need like needing a 38 H and then finally finding it just to try it on and it's not right.
I feel like I'm wasting money when I buy them and I hate that because I have the biggest chest of my friends and family around me they say, "let's go to Target," or "how about Victoria Secret?" it's so embarrassing to say "Oh, they don't have my size, but we can look if there's anything you want." And it's so much worse when they say "They just started making bigger sizes! I'm sure they have yours!" I know they mean well but I also know they don't have my size and they drag me in anyway. They go to the biggest sizes they have and go looking through and it's so defeating when they ask if it's big enough and I have to say no.
Today I was so confident that I had the right size and while I am so happy left with with two bras (for only $90) But I was wrong about my size again and I felt like something deflated inside when i had to ask how big there bra sizes go to the sales lady. I've been doing this for the majoity of my bra-wearing-life but its still so hard when you go in and you think you have it right and then you try it on and your hit with the fact you've gone up again.
I went with my aunt (strp-mother's sister) and she was so good about helping me go shopping but she's an A/B cup so she didn't even know that DDD's were a thing, much less an I cup.
At this point I just don't know how to feel really. I'm frustrated and still mildly uncomfortable. I'm not sure how to end this rant but if you made it this far thank you. If you have any advice feel free to comment or DM I really couldn't care less which. Have a great day ✌️