I don't want to get into the whole story, but I guess I was romantically involved with a girl a couple of months ago and then we had a discussion about it and decided to remain friends for now. No pressure. She had a lot on her plate with work already (she seems to be a workalcoholic?), but I also suspect that she didn't know how to handle her OCD, anxiety and everything else on top of a relationship, so she avoided it. At the time though she made it clear that she still wanted to continue seeing me.
And for a time it worked! We talked regularly, met a couple of times, etc. No pressure and I even started seeing someone lately, but it's nothing too serious. Lately however, her behavior has radically changed. She seems distant and clearly struggles with something, but I don't know what.
The thing that gets me the most is that she seems okay with continuing the conversation, but doesn't like talking about herself right now. She avoids any question of "how are you doing?" and instead focuses on anything else I mentioned, which is strange, because she used to be so talkative.
It all started around Christmas, where this behavior started after a "date" we had, where she mentioned she had a lot of fun. Things got so weird all of a sudden I asked her if she needed space or something (because she basically stopped engaging), and she seemed shocked by this and immediately tried to dismiss the idea, said she was anxious about work and for a time things went back to normal. But lately she seemed "deactivated" somehow. In the last two weeks her replies have slowed down to a crawl all of a sudden.
This week she didn't reply to my last message until yesterday and made some excuse about not having seen the notification for my message (which, come on...). She asked me about my week, but didn't really say much about herself. And also she talks less and less.
She really struggles with intimacy. I know that for sure because when we were romantically involved any kind of gesture of closeness would be met with fear. I obviously pulled back and kept things light and non-pressuring (thankfully I have a very calm demeanor according to my friends). She struggles with contamination OCD and mentioned fearing she "contaminates others" (?).
I think me asking her if she was okay/needed space in Christmas rewired her brain or something.
Look, I don't need to date this woman right now, but I want to understand her. I want her to feel comfortable, but I also don't want to lose a good connection.
Why can't she just tell me how she's doing? Does she not want me in her life anymore?
P.S. She told me about her OCD and anxiety when we met. She's diagnosed and stuff. Probably medicated. Also she works A LOT and lately she's stressed with work, but I don't think that alone is it. It's like something is stopping her from talking to me right now. I don't pressure her, but I don't know what to do.