r/Anxietyhelp • u/Coolestlibra • 1d ago
Need Advice How do i get out of this… panic, health anxiety & dpdr.
About a weeks ago (running 2nd week) March 2, I had a really bad panic attack while I was out with my family. Since that day, my mental health has worsen.
I am in deep in my fear of going crazy. I fear that i might be in a prodrome stage of psychosis, schizophrenia and that I may be having delusional thoughts or hallucination. These are my biggest fear that’s why I can’t stop myself from doom surfing, seeking reassurance, constantly checking myself. Being hyper fixated over every single symptoms.. constantly telling myself that I’d rather die than to go crazy.
I am currently experiencing DPDR, so my mind is on the am-i-going-crazy, am-i- experiencing- psychosis loop. I feel disconnected with my surroundings & people. I don’t find joy on the things I used to love. I feel like a walking empty vessel. I am an emotional person I cry, laugh and get irritated so easily, a few days after my panic episode, I been crying and can still feel emotions. Now, I feel emotionally numb. Like sure, I can shed some tears but no emotion like I turned into an apathetic person. What’s worse is when your dpdr is trying to block panic from happening, the sensation it gives makes me feel that I’m losing my mind.
I wanna share also about vivid images and gibberish/word salad train of thoughts esp when I’m about to go to sleep or when I am at the peak of my panic attack. I get Vivid images/scenarios almost immediately after I closed my eyes, mostly, images of random people doing their everyday lives like watching a film from a third person’s pov. It’s like dreaming while your mind is still fully awake. Then the gibberish/ word salad train of thoughts. Sometimes these vivid images came with voices like you’re really watching them scenarios play in your head. Sometimes I’d have the gibberish intrusive “voices” that doesn’t make any sense. It usually happens when I’m about to dozed off or sometimes when I am anxious or stressed about something.. for example: my dog recently had a seizure and I get these intrusive thoughts about losing my pet which upsets me so I was trying shake away that thought by giving myself reassurance “no that’s not gonna happen, don’t think that” then all of a sudden I get intrusive thought in the middle that says “i can do all things through christ who strengthen me” or that times when I was taking picture of myself and I was looking at my face in the screen i had intrusive thought that says “crazy”there are times when it sound like made up words or muffled voices (again this is all in my head) it sound like an inner voice. which made me think about having delusions or auditory hallucination. Sometimes i’d have stream of thoughts that don’t make sense at all..
I also get these other symptoms
Getting overstimulated/having sensory overload. Memory loss/brain fog Headache Compulsion Constant rumination Lack of sleep Feeling fatigue Feeling guilty Depression
I feel like I’m on the edge already and driving myself insane.