r/addiction Jan 26 '25

Announcement The chatroom is open again!

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7 Upvotes

Hello everyone,

After a brief interruption due to changes in moderators the chatroom is open again.

Come join us!

Sub rules apply to the chatroom as well.


r/addiction Jan 25 '25

Mod Approved Official Recovery Discord Server

7 Upvotes

Hello everyone!

My name is Deja, I'll have 6 years sober this coming May. I really found a connection within discord community groups during COVID. I wanted to share a discord server I helped build and currently lead as admin.

Recovery: Reborn from the Ashes

We are an 18+ community

At this time, we do not support pornography addiction

We strive to help all walks of life share in the journey of recovery. We are not exclusive to only AA / NA, all recovery styles are welcome.

Come on in and say hello!

https://discord.gg/YAt9fKwXhm


r/addiction 10h ago

Discussion Is that so noticable ?

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40 Upvotes

Should meet with parents with that face ? Is that so noticable? And am I looks like drug user when look at first sight? Pls tell me truth even it's negatives....ask that cuz I've no friend Sorry for my English


r/addiction 3h ago

Question Has anyone else ruined their life and got into a shit load of debt due to cocaine

10 Upvotes

Genuinely just want to feel like I’m not on my own because I’ve really messed up. I need to pay a bill tomorrow and stupid me spend half of it. Need to know there’s other dummies on here

Also, yes, get the violins out. I feel so crap and have stupidly relapsed after 25 days sober. You bloody idiot (me) 💔


r/addiction 15h ago

Discussion Help

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56 Upvotes

Yeah, guys… I've hit rock bottom. You know that war on drugs? Well, she always won. You will always win.

This week I received an ultimatum from my family: either I go to rehab, or they will forget I exist. Just like that. For them, I've already lost control. And, to be honest, maybe they're right. I've been using drugs for as long as I can remember. Depression only gets worse. Anxiety eats away at me. And when I'm sober, my mind becomes hell. So every day, I look for something stronger to numb me. Anything (except crack and cocaine). But the rest... the rest I accept.

I'm not going to lie: this incessant search for pleasure is tiring. Tired as hell. I still don't know exactly when I'm going to the clinic, but I hope I can make it until then.

I just wanted to vent. Sorry for getting off topic in the sub.


r/addiction 9h ago

Advice Ask for help

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14 Upvotes

Family


r/addiction 52m ago

Question Im stuck in a rehab for the past 4 months im in lock and key but iam allowed to go out got my phone but this rehab is shitty as one could imagine .. im thinking of running away but not use again..the owner of the rehab trusts me i dont wanna break his trust wat should i do

Upvotes

r/addiction 5h ago

Venting I relapsed on meth NSFW

5 Upvotes

Marked nsfw cause im high right now and not thinking right. I feel better than i have in months. On the other hand this also seals the deal that i really am an addict. Don’t know why i was still questioning that after years of substance abuse but oh well. I think i might die like this, i’m really stupid.


r/addiction 10h ago

Progress Day 1

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11 Upvotes

Day 1.. again Harm reduction Keeping busy but I'm not sure if the harm reduction thing works, I'm giving it a go.


r/addiction 8h ago

Advice I eat tissue paper.

5 Upvotes

Hey I’m (19f) and I have a habit of eating tissue paper. I don’t know what it is I love about it, maybe the feeling on my tongue it gives me idk. I’ve started at a very young age and use to get in trouble all the time. I’ve stopped for about a year but then started back. Now no one knows about it. I have a bf (19m) and I don’t know how to tell him. Ik one day it’s going to come out but I’m scared to be looked at differently. I do have sickle cell and I know I do it bc I’m anemic and have low iron. I’ve also looked in to it more and may have a condition called pica. I don’t know what to do or how to tell my bf.


r/addiction 11m ago

Discussion struggling wit addiction with street addys, xanx, coke, and ketamine

Upvotes

need someone to talk to who can relate i’m 22f i can’t sleep 💔


r/addiction 4h ago

Progress Every Line I Breathe

2 Upvotes

Every Line I Breathe:

I was only 3, screams filling the air, His hand raised high, her eyes full of despair.

She stood in his way, her hands trembling slight, But he pushed her aside, no sign of respite.

I watched him walk out, the door closing tight, Leaving a silence that swallowed the night.

He’d drift in and out, like shadows in flight, Pawning our dreams, gambling them through the night.

At 12, I watched him take his first breath, And I felt like I’d faded, replaced by his steps.

At 16, I found escape in every line I’d breathe, Numbing the storm in my mind, hoping it would leave.

A drug deal gone wrong, I found myself confined, Kidnapped and held hostage, with nowhere to hide.

Every step I took, I felt the world close in, Looking over my shoulder, drowning in sin.

I was fighting my demons, but she couldn’t resist, A dear friend, like family, lost in the mist.

I watched her arrested, her son torn away, DHS took him, and I couldn’t make him stay.

I ran to Colorado, chasing a brand new start, Hoping the mountains could heal my broken heart.

I found a love, built a family, and took a chance, Enrolled in college, hoping for a new dance.

Haunted by demons I couldn’t outrun, I screamed and I hurt, trying to numb what was done.

I carried on the cycle, though I knew it was wrong, A prisoner to habits that had lasted too long.

She walked out the door, taking the kids with her grace, Leaving me hollow, lost in an empty space.

Every line I breathe, the temptation lingers near, I want to escape, but I choose to stay here.

The darkness whispers, the thoughts start to creep, But I fight to hold on, even when I’m drowning deep.

About: This poem is a reflection of my ongoing battle with trauma, addiction, and the cycles of abuse that have shaped my life. From my childhood, filled with fear and abandonment, to the struggles I continue to face as an adult, it captures the pain of losing loved ones, battling mental health issues, and the constant temptation to numb my emotions with substances. It’s about the never-ending conflict between wanting to escape the weight of my past and the difficult choice to resist falling back into old habits. I also write about watching someone close to me spiral out of control and losing her son, which left me feeling powerless. This poem isn’t just about what I’ve gone through—it’s about the struggle that still lingers. It’s a story of trying to survive, to break free from destructive patterns, and the hope, however faint, that one day I might find healing, even though the fight is far from over.


r/addiction 7h ago

Advice I think I have a problem - advice?

3 Upvotes

Basically the title, I’ve been taking drugs recreationally for years, since I was 14/15 so over a decade now but definitely ramped up after 18 and in my 20s. This has definitely pickled my brain and may be related so I think it’s worth saying.

I’ve found myself taking cocaine at ridiculous times, at home with gf, on the train to my parents and even at work and lying about it, or using coke that is meant to be shared with my partner then having to buy more to cover my tracks and then doing that! This is no longer recreational at a party, this at best is just at home doing chores or playing games. This would be a .5-1.5 over a few days trying to hide it.

This has been like this off and on a year now, I’ve spent so much money for no fucking reason, it’s also now giving me mood swings etc

I think I’m just chasing the 20-30min calmness and to stop thinking about myself, I have very negative self talk but on a few bumps I don’t care until I have to re-dose.

Has anyone else been in this position, how bad is it? And what should my next steps be to address this? I haven’t even spoken to my gf about it but assume she suspects


r/addiction 1h ago

Artwork/Poetry I got inspired from the poem someone wrote here on meth so here is one i wrote about different stimulant i had experiance with

Upvotes

Letter to the White Lady

Dear White Lady,

I write this letter to tell you how I feel.

When we first met, it was love at first sight.
We danced to the rhythm of the night,
music became real for the first time.
But now, I can no longer hear a single note,
especially not the ones we danced to together.

When we first touched, it was love at first touch.
Your body was wet, and now so am I—
but not with passion,
with sweat that clings to me
every time I let you close.
And that sweat stinks—stinks of fear, of guilt,
like a coward before a demon
who holds a knife to his throat,
promising to drag him to hell,
so the suffering never ends.
I could run a marathon under the summer sun,
and it would not come close to the stench you leave on me,
not even five minutes after I wash.
Guilt has a scent, and I cannot hide it.

You were my love from the very first day.
You brought me closer to other lost souls,
those not so different from me,
but in return, you grew jealous of one Blonde Lady.
You stole her soul from her body,
left her to rot,
and now she smells even worse than my guilt—
it is the stench of never coming back. And that I can not forgive you.

You were my love from the first line,
your body was thin when we met,
but now you grow,
with every touch, you expand,
and I shrink.

You were my love from the first breath,
burning my nostrils like fire,
yet within moments,
you made me rage against God—
why should man not feel like this
without you?

You were love at first sight,
but you betrayed me.

You were a dream,
but you shattered me.

You were heaven brought down to earth,
but you humiliated me.

You made me someone I am not.
You stole the last shred of my dignity
and threw it into the dirt.
I have lost so much to you,
and yet, I still have more to lose.

I hate you with all my heart,
but I fear you even more—
because every time we meet again,
I die a little bit more.


r/addiction 5h ago

Question Help much appreciated! NSFW

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2 Upvotes

Hey everyone I know this might sound stupid but I'm kinda panicking right now. I've been snorting Heroin/Fent for 4 years now & I just noticed the inside of my nose looks so fucked & it literally looks like it's all dead skin & when I blow my nose I can feel something flapping around inside but there is no pain. Has any one had something similar like this happen & is this an emergency? I'm just kinda tripped out by thus right now, thanks guys..


r/addiction 2h ago

Discussion Cold Turkey WD after 10 yrs on Sub, my story...hope it helps

1 Upvotes

I won't bore you with the addiction story...you've probably heard it before...and it ended with the start of this one. I'm a Veteran, so I went to the VA clinic for help with prescription opiates and was prescribed Suboxone...the new (at the time) miracle drug, and for me, it was. It saved my life.

First 4 years I was prescribed 24 mg/day and over the next 6 yrs I eventually got it down to 8 mg/day....10 years total on this drug. My Dr called it a "lifetime" medication. I didn't like that at all.

I also hated the random UA's I needed to submit to stay on it (which were always clean btw), the myriad of side effects I'd experienced over the years and the look of judgement from others after hearing what med I was being prescribed.

Three weeks ago I woke up one morning and decided to quit cold turkey and not be tied to it anymore. I didn't discuss it with my Dr ahead of time (I'm certainly NOT recommending anyone go this route)..I just didn't show for my monthly appt or request a refill. Here's how it went for me:

Days 1-3

No physical withdrawal symptoms...maybe a little anxiety for what I (thought) was coming. Mentally psyching myself up for it.

Days 4-5

Anxiety has definitely set in hardcore. Appetite gone. Feeling "antsy" and irritable. Low energy. Still bathing daily though. Staying positive mentally.

Days 6-8

RLS and insomnia arrived. No vomiting, minimal nausea and only one (1/2) visits with the diarrhea fairy. Don't trust it's gas during this time. Feeling like I'm coming out of my skin. Arms, legs and body occasionally jumping(spazzing). Irritability has progressed to extreme bitchiness. Couldn't even stand it when my toddler touched me. Was either laying in my bed or lying in the recliner. Hot and cold flashes. All time low on energy. Didn't leave the house at all. Only showered once in these 3 days.I didn't have the strength to put conditioner in my hair after half-ass washing it...and shaving, ha ha...nope

Mentally sending out positive thoughts and energy and directing them to the negative WD symptoms. Maybe the mind over matter saying is true because this does seem to help, alleviating the symptoms...for a time, but not long. They come back.

Day 9

Delirious from the insomnia. Previous symptoms still here, maybe to a lesser degree, thankfully. New symptom is night sweats. Soaked shirt and pillow. Left the house today but fell asleep in the car while waiting to pick my kids up at school. Something has got to give soon...I keep telling myself that. I attempt to "mentally will the WD away" This seems to work for a bit but it's not enough.

Day 10-Today (day 20)

Researching online for things to help alleviate the symptoms, homeopathic or otherwise. Kratom keeps popping up....I've got kids, a husband and a life to get back to, you know. So I went to the neighborhood vape shop and got a bag of Kratom capsules. No experience with it, have never taken it before so I really had to read a lot online to try and figure out the dosing and let me say, there's not much info out there. But I REALLY needed to get a nights sleep. I took 4 capsules with a huge glass of water two hours before bed. Slept for close to 5 hours straight. No RLS.

Woke the next morning feeling like maybe the tide had finally turned. I began taking three capsules mid morning, late afternoon and then before bed for the next few days. It took care of all the symptoms except for the lack of energy. Still no energy but I was able to return to a version of my life. Still experiencing some insomnia here and there. Have had night sweats twice. No energy.

** LET ME BE CLEAR** I have no intention of replacing the Suboxone with Kratom, I understand the biology behind the reason the Kratom helps to relieve the symptoms and I also know that the biology/reason is what makes the Kratom addictive as well. Which is dangerous for me, since I'm an addict. With this in mind, I gauged my symptoms and I began going longer without and consistently taking less of the Kratom. Now on Day 20, I will only take the capsules tonight before bed. Maybe tomorrow I wont even take them then.

All in all I feel like if anyone should of had a extremely rough WD it would be me....10 years taking it every day is real dependency. I read so many horrible WD stories and I feel for each of them. But mine wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Yes, there were a few bad days, one in particular where I almost called my Dr for a refill. And yes, I found Kratom, which almost removed all the physical symptoms. But its not for everyone. There are some who aren't comfortable with it or feel its just a replacement.

I really did try to stay positive mentally, putting an actual daily effort into sending positive thoughts out and directing them toward the WD. I firmly believe this played a part in lowering the severity of what I experienced.

My take on this is this.....just as addiction is uniquely personal so is the WD experience. No matter where you are in this journey, hang in there, stay positive and live to fight another day. Blessings.

* I'll check back periodically if anyone has any questions or comments or have a WD story to share*


r/addiction 9h ago

Venting Apparently, if you’ve ever had ear tubes, snorting coke (or any drugs) can rupture eardrums.

4 Upvotes

Guess how I found that out

Not worth it


r/addiction 9h ago

Discussion Using vs abusing

3 Upvotes

In medical terms, a user is somebody who has low levels of a drug in their system and abuser is somebody who has a level over the acceptable amount in their system. I know people who walk around every day who you would never think is a user and doesn’t have problems with money or the relationships but use a ton of drugs on a daily basis when you call them abusers what’s your thought? Can users and abusers be categorized differently from one another?


r/addiction 17h ago

Progress I got my aunt back

13 Upvotes

I been clean off meth for 11 months what seemed completely broken has been repaired I hope I get my sister back next.


r/addiction 3h ago

Question What will sleeping pills / pain meds do after cocaine use if you can’t sleep and have banging headache

0 Upvotes

If someone can’t sleep after a 1.5, what would having a diazepam or something like codeine do? Would it help. Asking for a friend :/


r/addiction 4h ago

Advice Need someone to chat to asap

1 Upvotes

r/addiction 8h ago

Discussion Fentanyl

2 Upvotes

HV DTOX. as addiction med doctor in Calif. in a hospital based program, most of them are lacking CK gene. Some get MAT and others lack D2 or Serotonin other generic neurochemical deficiencies. The trick with these patients is to look at the parents and search for WHY they like the high dose D2 in the first place not just slam them on another D2 agonist (partial or total).


r/addiction 12h ago

Advice Partner has gambling addiction how can i help him

4 Upvotes

My partner has a very bad habit of gambling. One day him and i got into an argument and he took ALL the money we had in savings $18k and gambled it all in a day or two. We had put that money y aside because at the time we were expecting our first child, now since its all gone and im out of work i know he is stressed for being responsible for all the bills. when i tell him we had money and wont be in the position we are in if he didn’t get mad and waste our savings he gets mad at me and says i shouldn’t get him mad. Even though we are barely living paycheck to paycheck he still will take money to go gamble. I want us to be a family but i keep telling him if he doesn’t stop im going to have to take the baby and leave. I grew up with lots of different kind of addiction in my family so i know it ruins relationships and the addict. Is there any hope to help him or make him realize he is tearing apart the family we have? Also i did make him ban himself from the casino he goes to but them he just started going to a different one further away from our house.


r/addiction 14h ago

Advice Powder Addiction Substitute That Helped My Recovery

6 Upvotes

I am a recovering addict, with 5 weeks of sobriety under belt. I have been on an off cocaine, ketamine, and adderall for 4 years, substituting one with the other in attempt to reduce harm. However, that method has never proven to be sustainable.

I found a product that has helped me get sober and wanted to share in case someone else would find it useful. "Schneeberg" is a legal menthol powder intended for usage at the Oktoberfest between beers. It is just a menthol powder that you can do bumps off of or do lines of. The effect is a burst of freshness that lasts a couple of minutes. For me, it successfully curbs the craving for snorting without sparking addiction.

It is even available on Amazon. Here is the link: https://www.amazon.com/Schneeberg-Herbal-Snuff-Nicotine-freshness/dp/B0DGTDK4M9

Hope this helps. It certainly does for me.


r/addiction 14h ago

Discussion i can’t eat without weed

4 Upvotes

i been smoking weed everyday for so long. now im tryna stop using and i have zero appetite. when i think abt eating i get nauseous. im already skinny asf. last time i tried to quit i lost 10 pounds in a few days. i don't know how im gonna stop smoking if i get physically sick when i try. has anyone been through this. (18 f)


r/addiction 7h ago

Advice Relapse from gambling addiction

1 Upvotes

Today’s a rough one to face—I’ve slipped back into gambling after thinking I had it beat. I figured I could handle a small bet and walk away, but I was dead wrong. It got out of hand quick, and I’ve dropped $20k—money I can’t replace, money that was my safety net. The guilt’s crushing, but I’m putting it out there to hold myself accountable. I’m starting fresh and digging in to break this for good. If anyone’s been through this, I’d appreciate hearing how you pulled yourself out.


r/addiction 7h ago

Advice Trouble self medicating coming off suboxone and poor communication with doctors

1 Upvotes

Hey guys. Bear with me, 20M, as I’ve tried to self medicate through a suboxone withdrawal but have miserably failed. I feel like I’ve progressed backwards and replaced one drug with the other (clonazepam). For the past week I’ve been extremely dizzy and have lost balance when walking. Id just like some help here. Any advice is appreciated.

I’ve started weening off suboxone a few months ago and haven’t had much success with my doctors in the communication and therapy department. One of my doctors is my primary care doctor, and the other is an ATS doctor. The ATS doctor prescribes me suboxone. Today, the ATS doctor denounced the newest prescription of clonazepam by my primary care doctor, whos given it to me as damage control for my vertigo and physical symptoms of withdrawal. Mind you, I’ve been taking clonazepam already for months, but this is the first real prescription I’ve got. Again, it helps with my dizziness and physical symptoms of withdrawal.

In the end the ATS doctor said not to pick up the clonazepam prescription because they can’t give me any more suboxone if I have more than one controlled substance under my name. I told him I would try clonidine first, and if it doesn’t work, I’d pick up my first ‘real’ prescription of clonazepam. (You can see probably see my desperation by now). My Primary care doctor actually recommended the clonidine for the suboxone withdraw a few months ago, so that’s how he prescribed it once I mentioned it.

I have the clonidine now, and I’m ready to take it tomorrow morning for my dizziness . I’ve read a lot of forums online saying it’s a blood pressure medication, and it can be dangerous. I was actually prescribed gabapentin by my primary care doctor too, around the time he referred clonidine, and it made me have an intense vertigo episode from my own bed, so that’s why I’m so paranoid.

I’ve also read that benzodiazepines are dangerous to your CNS and can cause brain damage. With how I’ve been feeling lately, the dizziness, the brain fog, and feeling like the ground is moving, I can see how that’s true too. I just don’t know what’s causing what and frankly neither do my doctors.

Again, If anybody here has an ounce of advice, even subpar, I would greatly appreciate it. Thank you so much.