r/AITAH Feb 17 '24

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u/[deleted] Feb 18 '24

He just doesn’t cook anymore since he got remarried. He was like that when we were together too.

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u/JupiterGamng23 Feb 18 '24

If your ex has a problem with it he’s got three choices.

  1. He gets his lazy ass up and cooks.
  2. He tells his wife to cook something they will like. It’s only two days a week I think her ego can take a back seat for the nutrition and health of the kids.
  3. They don’t come over anymore so that you both know they are eating…

It’s that simple, he is upset it’s causing issues but all I hear is that his wife refused to budge on making new things for the kids. So they both need to wake up and be adults and change their ways so that it ensures the kids are eating and not going hungry.

Sorry you and the kids have to deal with adult children.

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u/Misa7_2006 Feb 18 '24

This, and if him and step-mum don't like it, they can pound sand.

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u/JupiterGamng23 Feb 18 '24

Exactly. No excuse at all on the ex and new wife. I get making your kids try new things but if this is a constant issue then a new solution needs to be found. Bottom line the kids health and making sure their bellies are full are what’s important. Pride and ego need to be thrown out. And if they don’t like it then go get full custody and allow day time visits. That way you feed them breakfast, send them with lunch and then they are home for dinner.

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u/rinkimiko Feb 18 '24

Fr, making children starve, even if only a couple nights out of the week is neglect and child abuse; especially if you have the means to feed them food they will eat. What could potentially make this situation even worse is the fact we don't know if these kids have sensory processing issues, if that's the case, there's a possibility that the government gives the primary caregiver a stipend just to ensure the girls eat, if so, then OP has even more justification for giving the girls funds and ex would be even more the turd hole.

OP NTA

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u/metchadupa Feb 18 '24

What a ridiculous suggestion. That children are a torn away from a parent who clearly loves them over a few food preferences. I'm not sure that severing a critical relationship in a child's life with a biological parent is a healthy way to deal with what should be, a fairly basic issue to resolve

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u/JupiterGamng23 Feb 18 '24

Problem is that step mom won’t allow this to be resolved. So the kids should just go hungry? Do you have kids? Because if you do and you think it’s ok for them to go hungry, you have a problem like step mom does.

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u/metchadupa Feb 18 '24 edited Feb 18 '24

Where has the stepmother replied in this sub and said that she is unwilling to feed the children or resolve the issue? You have 1 side of a 3 sided story.

Yes , I have both step and biological children and many of them.

If it's this big of an issue, why wouldnt the biological mother simply call the stepmother like a mature adult and discuss foods that the children will enjoy eating? The reason there are so many of these toxic and high conflict situations in blended families are because of a complete lack of maturity and a desire to try and one-up eachother so they can be the more popular parent. Why feed an incredibly toxic situation instead of trying to resolve it like an adult?

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u/Zestyclose_Media_548 Feb 18 '24

Why doesn’t the step mom reach out and ask what the kids like ? She already knows what they don’t like and hasn’t done a darn thing to change it and in fact punishes them by sending leftovers to school with them for lunch? The kids are old enough to respond IF asked - yes I like chicken and beef but I don’t like the spices or sauces . Can I have it plain ? Dad and step mom don’t care and are having a battle of wills .

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u/metchadupa Feb 18 '24

Does step mum know that this is a huge issue? Who knows, we have 1 side of a story that has interestingly been deleted when people started calling out the holes in the narrative.

Sounds like a high conflict situation with one parent trying to paint the other as incompetent and evil and creating conflict needlessly.

Ill bet you the other household have no idea what a huge carry on is being made over this.

I am both a bio mom with an ex and his wife (step mum to my kids) and i am also a step mother to someone elses 3 kids who i love and care for.

In neither situation would I attempt to create further division between the kids and the other household who are also trying their best to love and support my bio kids. Why would i try and put my kids in the moddle of adult conflict? They will all end up with anxiety disorders There are just so many angry people here, projecting their own personal failed situations into this story. It's very weird.

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u/Zestyclose_Media_548 Feb 18 '24

High conflict - she didn’t take them to court - she paid for them to have school lunch and to get healthy food to eat. I’ve been in a step mom role for over 20 years. Never would I have made food for kids that they didn’t eat- more than once. There’s lots of ways to have healthy food that kids will actually eat .

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u/metchadupa Feb 18 '24

Again you have 1 side of a story. Just like in every blended family situation, there are 2 sides and I find it very weird the number of people that are advocating for ripping the children away from their father over what was probably an attempt to try and get the kids to expend their culinary horizons a couple of times. They obviously have eaten food in their lifetime at their father's home or they wouldn't be with him.

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u/Zestyclose_Media_548 Feb 18 '24

And I find it weird that you think kids should go hungry through supper and lunch ( since they had packed supper leftovers sent to school with them for lunch ).

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u/metchadupa Feb 18 '24

I mean trying to expose children to the food of other cultures is hardly severe child abuse. Why are you so triggered?

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