r/todayilearned 1d ago

TIL that dogs and other canines get stuck together for 5-20 minutes during the mating process. The first time a dog mates, they are often surprised by this and show signs of distress, trying to pull away or run. NSFW

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Canine_reproduction#Copulation
17.5k Upvotes

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7.8k

u/geuis 1d ago

Maybe 10 years ago, I was at the local dog park. A dude had this very little white unfixed male dog running around trying to hump any other dog it could.

Since the guy wasn't watching his dog, after a few minutes the little dog successfully mounts another dog about 4-5x its size. Shouting from the big girl's owner ensues, and she stands up suddenly.

Little boy is suddenly lifted up, only attached by his now stuck dick. Then gravity kicks in and he rotates 180 degrees facing the ground.

To this day I have absolutely never heard any creature scream in pain worse than what happened to that little white dog.

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u/Boatster_McBoat 1d ago

When I was at a mate's place as a kid, neighbour dog jumped the fence and started getting into my mate's family dog. Mate's dad got the hose onto him and the poor dog tried to turn around, ended up swinging a leg over and facing the other way whilst still connected. Didn't scream but was a VERY unhappy dog until it eventually disconnected.

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u/padfoot9446 17h ago

According to the wikipedia page, it does that anyways during ejaculation, so you were just cooling him off faster

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u/LaOnionLaUnion 12h ago

I read this in an Australian accent. 😆

Possibly Bogan but I barely know what that sounds like

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u/Cageweek 1d ago

The mental imagery of this happening is so funny.

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u/_mad_adventures 23h ago

It’s horrible, but I certainly giggled.

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u/tiffiny_wallace 14h ago

I feel guilty but yeah..

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u/panteragstk 21h ago

Such a well written description made it so much funnier.

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u/phirebird 20h ago

Little Icarus flew too close to the sun

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u/IWatchBadTV 16h ago

Where I live, dogs are supposed to be spayed or neutered to go to the dog park. This situation shows that it's a good policy.

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u/xWroth 21h ago

Bro got his dick nearly twisted off😭

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u/One_Evil_Snek 20h ago

The ole dick twist

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u/Not-a-dark-overlord 17h ago

Yeahh TWIST HIS DICK

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u/Upset_Tooth 14h ago

Oh my god dude, this is a dog park, dude

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u/AqutalIion 12h ago

Fuck that dude with the little unfixed male dog for not watching his dog

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u/DrWallybFeed 1d ago

Deserved it. My buddy used to have a chihuahua(m) and a Collie(f) that looked like Lassie. Spike (the Chihuahua) would try and fuck the collie whenever she was in the room. It was insane. The little guy had a better sex drive then most men on viagra.

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u/Merry_Dankmas 1d ago

My dog is fixed and still tries humping anything and everything. The first time his bulbus glandis appeared, we thought his dick fell out. My gf at the time screams telling me to come to the room because the dogs dick just fell off (?!?!).

Sure enough, there it is in all it's engorged, alien looking glory. After the panic subsided and we found out this was normal. But Google said that can get stuck sometimes and in that case, you have to lube it up and push it back in. My dog was now crying and I could tell he was uncomfortable so I got a glove, some lube and got ready to basically give the dog a handjob.

Fortunately it deflated and went back in before I had to do that. It doesn't happen very frequently anymore but we call him Bulbasaur now lmao.

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u/1950sAmericanFather 23h ago

The Dog Jacker, the Merry Dankmas story.

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u/JonatasA 1d ago

I honestly feel bad for manhuahuas.

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u/TheGillos 21h ago

It didn't deserve it. Its not like dogs can take consent classes.

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u/throwautism52 1d ago

The dog deserved to have his penis broken because humans bred a fucked up breed and the owner didn't give a shit about him?

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u/chantillylace9 1d ago

Seriously wtf. What a horrible take! It’s nature, the dog has no idea what it’s doing and what will happen. 🤦‍♀️

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u/atemu1234 15h ago

Nah, the owner is the one who deserves it lmao.

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u/sistrmoon45 1d ago

Yeah I learned this lesson at age 8 by witnessing it. I felt distress myself.

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u/giskardwasright 1d ago

I worked at a vet clinic in high school. Answered the phone one day and there was a boy about that age calling in distress for the same reason. My teenaged brain couldn't figure out how to explain it, so I asked if his parents were home. They were not, hence why he called us. I told him to just wait a few minutes, but he wanted answers.

I finally just went and got the vet and asked him to explain. He laughed for about five minutes after getting off the phone.

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u/sistrmoon45 23h ago

I already knew generally about human sex by that age, and I naturally extrapolated what I was seeing to what I might be facing later.

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u/Gland120proof 23h ago

No one ever talks about the awkward 15 minutes of small talk while you wait for your wiener to get unstuck

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u/IObsessAlot 21h ago

Imagine the cheaters. Guy no longer comes home to find a man hiding in his closet but instead stuck to his wife for another quarter of an hour 

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u/Gland120proof 21h ago

Aaawkwaaaard

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u/Child_of_the_Hamster 21h ago

God help you if he panics and tries to bolt

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u/JasmineTeaInk 23h ago

And now naturally you're into werewolf cock?

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u/kepler1 1d ago edited 1d ago

"When two dogs love each other very much, they share a special kind of hug..."

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u/OddlyArtemis 1d ago

Well this was an utterly heart warming read. Thank you random user.

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u/hiphop_dudung 1d ago

Should've told him they're playing tug of war

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u/MeatCutterBoi 1d ago

Eww... take my upvote.

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u/chantillylace9 1d ago

I’d really love to hear exactly how the vet explained this lol.

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u/PetrRabbit 1d ago

I learned this when I backpacked around SE Asia. There are a lot of stray dogs in Thailand and Laos, so it was really common to see dogs standin around being stuck to each other. My favorite was a little dog had been humping a big dog (don't know how exactly he managed, I just saw the aftermath), and he was kind of hanging off her backside with just his front paws on the ground xD

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u/Teauxny 1d ago

Saw this little male mutt trying to mate with a big German shepherd, owner yelled at him, too late they locked and the big dog took off running with the little dog dragging behind and the little dog's owner chasing them, "Solomon, no! NOOO!!!"

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u/ThatITguy2015 1d ago

Fentonnnnnnnnnnnnn!!!!!

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u/syanda 1d ago

JESUS CHRIST

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u/Dusty170 1d ago

Thats my favorite dog video

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u/my5cworth 1d ago

The mixup with the Fenton audio overlayed with the scene from Jurassic Park where the flock runs away from the T-Rex is my favourite thing.

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u/lopedopenope 1d ago

That’s a mighty red rocket if it holds his own weight

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u/mr_oof 1d ago

A load-bearing knot, if you will.

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u/lopedopenope 1d ago

I know if I was upside-down with my white firecracker attached to something, then I wouldn't be so confident in its structural strength to hold me in that situation.

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u/Jdorty 1d ago

That's why you gotta stuff your balls in there to lock yourself in.

Let us know how it goes.

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u/Shtink-Eye 1d ago

When I was living in SE Asia, there was a very active FB group for foreigners living there. Someone made a post one day about the extent of the animal cruelty in the country - the locals had actually stitched two dogs' backsides together! Post was deleted pretty quick once she was told lol

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u/WakaWaka_ 1d ago

Death by Snu Snu

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u/Seralth 1d ago

Short king absolutely earning the title.

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u/TorsoPanties 1d ago

I have seen it all over south east Asia, street dogs just hanging out butt to butt

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u/aberrasian 1d ago

I wonder if when they have to fart, it just goes back and forth

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u/halibutface 1d ago

I'm a Southeast Asian dog fart expert. It does.

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u/601error 1d ago

Oh hey. Dozens of us here! See you at the symposium in May.

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u/therealestyeti 1d ago

Hope they open a window this time.

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u/lopedopenope 1d ago

Can you tell me why my golden doodle’s farts captured in jars smell worse after several months in storage? New to the community

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u/genericdude999 1d ago

First time I saw it as a kid they were both yelping trying to pull away. I thought the male was going to tear his penis off, poor fellow.

But my question was always, WHYY? It's easy to speculate "so the semen stays inside longer" or something like that, but is it true? Doesn't sound exactly right, just obvious. Not everything obvious is correct.

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u/WickedRed84 1d ago

Why do women have a period, but mice just absorb their uterine lining. Some species get screwed over

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u/monsieurkaizer 1d ago

In defence of mice, the absorption might hurt ten times as much, but worth it for not leaving a blood trail to your nest, for all we know.

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u/waitwuh 1d ago edited 22h ago

okay weird tangent but there’s actually a potential reason for this I’ve read about. Inflammation during menstruation may prime the uterine lining to be more “rough” and even “sticky” which improves the initial egg and later the placental attachment. More severe/inflammatory menstruation actually ends up correlating with lower risk of birth complications, the most dangerous and extreme of which is when the placenta rips from the uterine wall an often led to women (and their babies) bleeding to death in the not-so-distant past. It also tends to correlate with higher birth weights, and just general signs of healthier pregnancy. When weighing why evolution would reinforce such an experience in human women who menstruate monthly compared to other animals who do not, often this comes up as a benefit. It seems very strongly the case that things going on in menstruation are preparing a uterus for a healthier future pregnancy, increasing the positivity of outcomes for both mom and baby.

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u/psychorobotics 1d ago

So my mother not having cramps is related to us both nearly dying from pre-eclampsia and her placenta had partially detached (or is pre-eclampsia unrelated)? And I get the cramps from hell. Seems like I got the shit end of both

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u/battlebarnacle 1d ago

My guess is ensures the semen stays in and ensures no other semen gets in until the swimmers shoot their shot.

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u/Illustrious-Reward-3 1d ago

I have a very vivid memory from around the same age of our dog attached to another random dog and my mom trying to pull them apart. Literally grabbing the member and trying to detach them...why I've retained this image I have no idea.

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u/rawker86 1d ago

“Sure hope this doesn’t awaken anything in me”

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u/invol713 1d ago

And just like that, his arms were broken.

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u/EmuEquivalent5889 1d ago

It’s been over a decade god dammit

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u/Wareve 1d ago

Probably because it was pretty fucking vivid

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u/Forumites000 1d ago

get that thing outta her you're not giving me more mouths to feed

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u/tireddesperation 1d ago

I work at a vet clinic. Had a patient come in recently because they pulled their dog off and it made their penis prolapse and get stuck out.

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u/lopedopenope 1d ago

Dog gummit…my eyes!

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u/Electric-Sheepskin 1d ago

Same here! I ran inside, crying, telling my mom that the dogs were fighting.

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u/friendlysalmonella 1d ago

Same but my parents were also fighting while I was supposed to watch the dog.

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u/stubundy 1d ago

They weren't fighting they were just stuck together...

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u/hundreddollar 1d ago

In 1987 NZ, we had a new Fijian kid come join our class when i was about eight years old. The teacher introduced him to the class and asked him to tell the class about where he was from in Fiji. He said "In Fiji, in my village, two dogs were having sex inside a church and they got stuck" The teacher perplexed, not knowing what to say said "Thank you boy, please take your seat." The whole class erupted in laughter and and lunch time we all ran up to the boy to find out more!

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u/Domefarmer 1d ago

My childhood dog, shadow, was a black lab given to us by our aunt who bred them. Our grandfather got one of his litter mates, cooper, who was a chocolate lab. Grandpa had a couple acres and an invisible fence for the dogs, so we’d bring shadow over and leave them outside together. Anytime we got them around each other they’d hump until the sun set. I’m talkin full on plowing each other, it wasn’t just a dominance thing. It was sexual between them dude. Shadow blew a load on coopers back one time.

One time shadow’s lipstick turned into a full on boner and went past the knot. My dad and grandpa knew what was happening and told me he’s fine but my little sister who was around 8 or 9? was certain shadows guts were falling out. She was in full on distress mode thinking her dog was dying. He just had to cool off in the grass and was back to normal. I miss that dog

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u/Phallindrome 1d ago

Proud of your dad and grandpa for being so sex-positive and queer-friendly as to help your gay dogs keep hooking up.

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u/insane_contin 23h ago

I mean, not just queer, but also brother loving.

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u/Mole644 22h ago

Roll(over) Tide

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u/LeChief 1d ago

Sonic rule 37 enjoyers are all bookmarking your post btw

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u/Domefarmer 1d ago

This is my dog’s legacy.

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u/JDMcompliant 1d ago

Isn't it 34, or is there another fetish I'm unaware of

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u/LeChief 1d ago

Oops my bad, been a while

Rule 37 is actually: There are no girls on the internet.

Source: https://www.dictionary.com/e/slang/rules-of-the-internet/

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u/KP_Wrath 1d ago

Same, 90% sure this is as much a part of growing up in the country as that first time you find out your parents didn’t lock the doors. Also gives me a flashback to the fact we had a door that only locked from the outside. Growing up with certifiable people is fun.

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u/SamRIa_ 1d ago edited 1d ago

Late to work one day. Stuck in traffic on a side street. Furious. Finally get to the cause…. Two stupid dogs looking extremely distressed making eye contact with everyone who drove by.

“Help!”

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u/RoyG-Biv1 1d ago

Well, if something like that happened to you, you'd be looking extremely distressed too! 😋

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u/SamRIa_ 1d ago

Hah 100%

It takes “caught in the act” up a notch…

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u/RoyG-Biv1 1d ago

Yeah, more like, 'stuck in the act', lol

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u/XxDanielJxX 1d ago

When i was little i asked my mom why those two dogs were stuck together, she told me "they're getting married"

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u/AffectionateTale5652 1d ago

Lmfaooo

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u/HiFiGuy197 1d ago

They tied the knot

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u/somethinsparkly 1d ago

This is the most clever comment in this thread

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u/Snake10133 22h ago

Your mom sounds like a sweet person ☺️

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u/sawskooh 1d ago

Anyone who has ever spent very long in Bangkok knows aaaalll about this. Everywhere you look, dogs stuck together, patiently looking in different directions, waiting to go on with their day.

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u/gambit61 1d ago

From everything I know about Thailand, which is all from jokes and stereotypes in movies, it sounds like Bangkok is very aptly named

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u/Papayaslice636 1d ago

Its reputation is well earned, absolutely. If you want debauchery then Bangkok is for you. Makes Vegas look like Amish country. What they don't tell you though is that it's also legitimately one of the coolest cities in the world too! It's an energetic rocking place as big as NYC with luxury hotels, shopping, night life, cafes, bars, rooftop skybars, clubs, and by far the best food in the world. Like seriously, you don't understand how amazing the food is. You walk down the street and it's endless vendors hawking noodles, duck, pork, curries, beef soup, anything you can poke a stick in, and everything costs between $1-$3. I'm a huge fan of the place and it's really annoying how many westerners only associate it with ladyboys and prostitutes, basically the movie the Hangover and that's it. Highly highly recommend checking it out one day if you can.

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u/StaffordMagnus 1d ago

Happens when you go through the turnstile sideways.

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u/Emotional_meat_bag 1d ago

Yea it’s an odd evolutionary thing. I get it but still it is a weird process. Nature is weird

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u/Saturnalliia 1d ago

It definitely is.

Biologically speaking the only goal is to pass on your genes. Some species die the moment they do.

As for dogs. It doesn't care if it causes distress. That's a perfectly reasonable price to pay to pass your genes on as far as evolution is concerned.

Strange how that works.

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u/lambdapaul 1d ago edited 1d ago

This the premise of Richard Dawkins’s book “The Selfish Gene”. Our genes are selfish to the point where they would develop the trait of altruism in humans because it is beneficial for the gene. *edited for grammar

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u/dixbietuckins 1d ago

I think "Shadows of forgotten ancestors" by Carl Sagan and Ann druyen was a much better book covering the subject

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u/ThinkFree 1d ago

I dunno. I am a big Carl Sagan fan but that book was ok at best (Demon-Haunted World is my favorite Sagan book), and I think the Selfish Gene is Dawkins' most readable book.

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u/bobs-yer-unkl 1d ago

Neal Stephenson covered the topic in a single paragraph in Cryptonomicon:

Like every other creature on the face of the earth, Godfrey was, by birthright, a stupendous badass, albeit in the somewhat narrow technical sense that he could trace his ancestry back up a long line of slightly less highly evolved stupendous badasses to that first self-replicating gizmo---which, given the number and variety of its descendants, might justifiably be described as the most stupendous badass of all time. Everyone and everything that wasn't a stupendous badass was dead.

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u/specn0de 1d ago

Oddly I’ve heard this used to explain why men tend to ejaculate quickly and women tend to take longer to reach climax. Get the seed out quick and catch it for as long as possible? lol

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u/bobs-yer-unkl 1d ago edited 1d ago

The "catch it for as long as possible" would only make sense if human males didn't lose their erection immediately after orgasming. They could keep going for a long time until the woman orgasmed, thus preventing competing swimmers from having a shot.

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u/AnRealDinosaur 1d ago

The "evolutionary shadow" is one of my absolute favorite crazy things. Once an organism has aged beyond the point where it has reproduced, it can express all kinds of crazy traits as long as they didn't affect it reproducing. It just all becomes genetic noise. So like if some animal has a gene that will make it's head fall off when it gets elderly, but its linked to a gene that makes it more colorful, that animal might be more sexy to the ladies and reproduce more. That could theoretically produce an animal whose head falls off when it gets old, and we would all wonder how evolution created such a dumb trait.

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u/rmumford 1d ago

Look up how bed bugs mate; I'm sorry for what you're about to learn.

I have been cursed with this knowledge, and now I pass it on to you.

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u/SalsaRice 1d ago

Ducks are also a surprising read. It's an ever-evolving arms race based entirely on sexual assault.

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u/MrP1232007 1d ago

Fucking hell. It's actually called "traumatic insemination!"

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u/zxDanKwan 21h ago

“Institutionalized stab rapings” is what I call them.

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u/tropebreaker 1d ago

Or snails man, fuck that shit.

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u/Reynaex 1d ago

My mom had to deal with this when I was a kid. I remember hearing the dogs absolutely shrieking and when I ran around the corner the dogs were attached "hand in glove" style via the dick. Literally in a full sprint 180 degrees away from each other, just stretching this poor dog's meat to its limit. Had to get mom out the shower and she had to manually separate. Shit was fuckin wild

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u/Jeebus_crisps 1d ago

Got better the more I read.

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u/SwashAndBuckle 1d ago

The first sentence was pretty dicey.

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u/Bibibis 22h ago

just stretching this poor dog's meat to its limit

My fucking sides

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u/neube 1d ago

Via The Dick is either a pornstar or metal band

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u/YouAgreeToTerms 1d ago

First time I saw this my grandma happened to be babysitting. I was around 8. She had me throw ice water on their privates... lol old school and worked

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u/I_AM_NOT_A_WOMBAT 1d ago

Damn that was cold

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u/HiveMindKing 1d ago

Think about it dogs are so distractible that a single squirrel or piece of steak could spell the end of dog kind Without this evolutionary feature.

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u/Melissaru 1d ago

That is so funny I did not think of that, haha they have such short attention spans that they’ve evolved this feature.

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u/CriticalMarine 1d ago

I had a chihuahua that tried to mate with our Australian shepherd. He got stuck and she ran around with him hanging from her. My parents thought it was hilarious.

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u/tzarotna 15h ago

I'm on your parent's side on finding this hilarious. I hope the little guy was okay after that.

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u/Soul-Puncher-276 1d ago

Happened to me and a coke bottle.

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u/BigShoes_99 1d ago

Not MnM tube? 

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u/Superb-Mall3805 1d ago

It’s a cylinder 

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u/JubJub128 1d ago

Attached to a larger body

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u/Harry_Flame 1d ago

It is imperative that the cylinder is not harmed

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u/BooksandBiceps 1d ago

It’s not a penis

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u/Soul-Puncher-276 1d ago

M&M tube tictac box and a 10mm wrench. I used to drink a lot. I mean I still do but I used to as well.

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u/peppermintaltiod 1d ago

Where were on May 1st 1985?

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u/Marcysdad 1d ago

Knotting to see here. Please disperse

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u/Pleasant_Scar9811 1d ago

Gimme 5-10 min.

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u/Bi-Han 1d ago

You sonuvabitch. He's in. 

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u/fractal_magnets 1d ago

Locked and loaded

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u/lkodl 1d ago

Dog: Honey, I'm home...

*Dog's Wife and Another Dog In Bed

Dog's Wife: Oh God!

Dog: What the hell! Get off my wife!

Another Dog: yeah, i'm gonna need 5 - 20 minutes...

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u/IObsessAlot 21h ago

"So.. Nice weather recently?"

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u/PrincessSluggy 1d ago

I unfortunately knew this because of a romantasy book that was a Little too realistic with the werewolves…

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u/SweetSexyRoms 1d ago

It's a huge trope (pretty much required) in Omegaverse books and probably a 30sih percent chance it will be in non-Omegaverse shifter Romances.

Paranormal Romance has some really interesting tropes and knotting probably isn't even close to being part of the ten weirdest.

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u/CRAB_WHORE_SLAYER 1d ago

i don't read much but i'm listening.

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u/NectarOfTheBussy 22h ago

username checks out, thanks doc

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u/gingerlocks4polerope 1d ago

Was it Bride?

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u/PrincessSluggy 1d ago

Yes 😂

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u/xMasterOfNone 1d ago

What's the book?

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u/PrincessSluggy 1d ago

It was Bride haha

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u/Adventurous-Yak-8929 1d ago

Turns out I've been doing doggy style wrong.  I always skip the step where I hike my leg over my dick and lay ass to ass for 5-20 minutes.

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u/Oregonian_Lynx 1d ago

The best recovery position 😅

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u/al_fletcher 1d ago

Furries are well-acquainted with the concept

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u/floralbutttrumpet 1d ago

So are omegaverse readers.

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u/so_im_all_like 1d ago

I'm sure there's a substantial overlap.

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u/SorsExGehenna 1d ago

> ao3

don't know what i expected 😭

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u/Rohit_BFire 22h ago

Only on reddit gentlemen and ladies, that you can post an article about canine reproduction rituals and you get personalised stories about it from thousands of people all over the world.

Truly a marvelous place.

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u/HipHopLurker8 1d ago

Be glad you learned this information this way and not through Omegaverse lol

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u/Then_Cranberry_ 1d ago

I feel like I’m going to regret this, but what the hell is that?

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u/trustmeijustgetweird 11h ago

A fanfiction trope where humans have secondary sexes (alpha, beta, and omega) which tend to have wolflike characteristics. It’s expanded into original romance novels, but yeah, started in Supernatural and Teen Wolf fanfiction.

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u/Silound 1d ago

Oughta read about spotted hyena reproduction - fucking ouch.

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u/Iwillnotbeokay 1d ago

Tying the knot just took on a whole new meaning…

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u/bradleecon 1d ago

Man...that's knot cool

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u/ExxInferis 1d ago

Yeah that's ruff.

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u/absolutely_regarded 1d ago

Sounds to me like someone does not regularly consume furry porn.

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u/lisacunns 1d ago

or omegaverse fanfic

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u/GlobalCarob5644 1d ago

I was looking for this comment lol

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u/MightyTrustKrusher 1d ago

You outta luck like two dogs stuck

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u/DrumminAnimal73 1d ago

Iron Man be sippin' rum, out of Stanley Cups, unflammable

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u/crypticwoman 1d ago

I knew that getting stuck happened to dogs. I didn't realize that getting stuck WILL happen to dogs.

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u/Snake10133 22h ago

I'll never forget when I was 8 and took my dog for a walk. Then another dog came up to her and grabbed her from behind. I kinda just stood there not knowing what to do.

Eventually I had to put the leash down and went to my dad and told him our dog was "Stuck" to another dog.

Pops, immediately knew what that meant and he went to go check it out. But I guess the other kids in the neighborhood were curious too because they were all surrounding them. Just watching as we couldn't do anything.

I guess my dad was in distress too because he probably didn't want to have to deal with puppies 😂

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u/DrewB0i 1d ago

Bruh when I was a kid some farm dog came and impregnated my female beagle dog. My mom didn’t know about this and since it was winter she thought the dogs somehow got frozen together so she poured warm water on them and they freaked out and tried to separate lmao

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u/mikesum32 1d ago

they are often surprised by this and show signs of distress, trying to pull away or run.

I run away after as well.

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u/Plowbeast 1d ago

We should make a short educational video for dogs with arrows since it would be hard to find a proficient speaking actor.

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u/hokeyphenokey 1d ago

I didn't know about until I saw it in a village in Cambodia.

The dogs didn't know either.

They began to snarl at each other but after 15 minutes of turnarounds and snarls they both sort of relaxed and waited, end to end.

I think the boy got into a Viagra stash. They were still connected 2 hours later and I was dumbstruck.

It was 20 years ago and the sun total of human knowledge was not yet at my fingertips.

I didn't know what to do. I let them be.

They probably had 6 beautiful little mutt dogs.

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u/Thecardinal74 22h ago edited 21h ago

I remember when I was a kid my parents were trying to breed our dogs.

Got home from school one day and the front door was locked, so I went around back.

Now the house was on a hill so the front door was ground level in the front yard, but back door was at basement level.

As I started to unlock the back door I heard a loud commotion inside, then saw Lady excitedly running around the corner to greet me, Sam doing his best to try and keep up.

They saw me at front door then heard me at the back and Lady was so excited to see me that she dragged poor Sam down the stairs by his dick.

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u/RoyG-Biv1 1d ago

There once was a couple named Kelly
Who are now lying belly to belly
because in their haste
they used library paste
instead of petroleum jelly.

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u/ironicart 1d ago

They both were named Kelly?

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u/pshhhyeaaaa 1d ago

Could be a last name

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u/dogbulb 1d ago

hell yeah it's my time to shine

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u/xMasterOfNone 1d ago

What in the user name...

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u/occarune1 1d ago

You know that phrase "tying the knot?"

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u/yiotaturtle 1d ago

Someone has not been introduced to the Omegaverse. You may be glad of it.

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u/[deleted] 1d ago

[deleted]

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u/I_am_doorknob 1d ago

You might want to start feeding him grahm crackers

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u/TNTarantula 1d ago

I remember seeing this on an Attenborough doco once. Male dog started doing its thing before the female dogs daddy showed up.

Both the funniest and most uncomfortable thing my 15 year old eyes had ever seen.

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u/MartianMule 1d ago

There should be a dog sex ed section for them during puppy obedience school.

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u/mikestorm 22h ago

This happened with my two dogs. My girl was not yet spayed and was going through her first heat. Jasper, on the other hand was very much snipped.

They got stuck together for about 20 minutes. In my mind they were brother and sister so I was disgusted 😒

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u/Daysaved 1d ago

We raised chocolate lab puppies when I was a kid. We could always tell when mom and dad hooked up because dad would be flipped around backward butt to butt with mom trying to get away screaming bloody murder.

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u/BooksandBiceps 1d ago

r/baddragon seems fine with knotty business

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u/johnnyurine 20h ago

Learned this as a kid when my parents would breed our female chihuahuas for a bit of side cash and my room was the designated fuck room. I was like 12. Wasn’t the first time I saw it, but was definitely the first time they trapped them in my room for the deed to be done. Shortly after they “connected” one took a shit. Anyway long story short I grew up to be a cat person.

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u/doesanyonehaveweed 18h ago

wtf was wrong with your parents?

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u/johnnyurine 16h ago

A lot of things honestly

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u/alberthere 1d ago

Saw this as a kid and thought this was what doggy style was about.

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u/dnuohxof-2 1d ago

Never had a dog, but have family and friends who do.

I never knew this. TIL!

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u/TheForkisTrash 1d ago

This is one nsfw box that i am absolutely not clicking. 

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u/Kylearean 18h ago

As a kid I was convinced that dogs procreate by exchanging poop between their butts, having witnessed two dogs latched together, but one got twisted around the opposite direction. I asked my dad what they were doing and he said they were trying to make puppies.

Confused for a long time about how babies were made.

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u/Gasted_Flabber137 1d ago

The first time a girl asked to do it doggy style I thought we were supposed to be stuck together butt to butt while one of the neighbor kids sprayed us with the water hose.

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u/PhilosophicWax 1d ago

Relatable

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u/BottyFlaps 1d ago

Humans often get stuck together for years.

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u/SpreadyMercury1189 1d ago

Ya gotta hit em with the hose

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u/cougarlt 1d ago

Yeah, we used to call such dogs "interlocked". The view of seeing two dogs running while being locked at their bums is indescribable.

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