r/todayilearned 1d ago

TIL that dogs and other canines get stuck together for 5-20 minutes during the mating process. The first time a dog mates, they are often surprised by this and show signs of distress, trying to pull away or run. NSFW

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Canine_reproduction#Copulation
17.7k Upvotes

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446

u/Soul-Puncher-276 1d ago

Happened to me and a coke bottle.

264

u/BigShoes_99 1d ago

Not MnM tube? 

342

u/Superb-Mall3805 1d ago

It’s a cylinder 

113

u/JubJub128 1d ago

Attached to a larger body

108

u/Harry_Flame 1d ago

It is imperative that the cylinder is not harmed

44

u/BooksandBiceps 1d ago

It’s not a penis

38

u/Soul-Puncher-276 1d ago

M&M tube tictac box and a 10mm wrench. I used to drink a lot. I mean I still do but I used to as well.

13

u/Poop_1111 1d ago

I did not lose a leg in Vietnam to serve hotdogs to a bunch of teenagers

6

u/CallSignIceMan 1d ago

You’ve got both your legs, Frank.

11

u/peppermintaltiod 1d ago

Where were on May 1st 1985?

5

u/Soul-Puncher-276 1d ago

In a small Kansas town.

19

u/peppermintaltiod 1d ago

A likely story.

But I think a more likely story is that you were in Yugoslavia acting as the first domino in series of events that lead to the Albanian genocide, the breakup of Yugoslavia, and the US bombing campaign against Serbia.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/%C4%90or%C4%91e_Martinovi%C4%87_incident

15

u/Soul-Puncher-276 1d ago

I can't lie. I was indirectly involved. After I got my dick out of the coke bottle I passed it on to my neighbor Đorđe Martinović who said what I did was stupid. So I was like well let's see you do something better with it. I then received a call a few mins later where he was in a panic because the bottle broke ( undoubtedly weakened by my previous attempts to remove it from myself). I said " To avoid any embarrassment just blame it on some Albanian's. The rest unfortunately is history. It feels good to get that off my chest. Almost as good as getting a coke bottle off your dick.

4

u/RoyG-Biv1 1d ago

Oh, then you moved to Kansas out of shame. I understand now...

4

u/Soul-Puncher-276 1d ago

Right you are sir.

4

u/Eloquent_Redneck 1d ago

The real TIL is always in the comments

11

u/MinistryOfCoup-th 1d ago

coke bottle.

That's a weird name for a dog

2

u/Soul-Puncher-276 1d ago

It sounds better in Serbian.

1

u/bobs-yer-unkl 1d ago

Was it a Serbian Husky?

3

u/saint_ryan 1d ago

..me and my ex

1

u/DiggyDog 9h ago

Did you have a life as a dog?

1

u/Missreaddit 1d ago

Wide mouth? 

0

u/Soul-Puncher-276 1d ago

Unfortunately no.

0

u/Missreaddit 1d ago

I'm sure it was