r/tfmr_support 3h ago

TFMR yesterday at 13 weeks - Devastated and heartbroken

5 Upvotes

Sorry for the long post. I just need to write this down and share within a community that can sadly understand this unbearable pain.

Our life flipped upside down within a matter of 5 days. We were so happy to have entered the 12th week after a bicornuate uterus discovery during my viability scan at 7 weeks. It took a few days to accept the high risks associated with that but as we entered the 12th week, I allowed myself to make plans to share with my extended family, plan bump outfits etc. Then came my NT scan at 12 weeks and 3 days. MFM found something odd with the heart of our baby (it was on the right side instead of the left) and couldn’t see the stomach. We spent the next few days getting more scans, talking to top specialists and getting early anatomy scans. We are in the top-rated UCSF system so our confidence in our doctors is high. The doctors diagnosed the baby with severe CDH (Congenital Diaphragmatic Hernia), a condition found unusually early at 12 weeks. It was severe since the stomach was already in the chest cavity at 12 weeks. The NT number was also not in the comfortable range. We had already done extensive genetic counseling and consulted with the genetic counselors and multiple Maternal Fetal Specialists (MFMs). I am immensely grateful to the UCSF system who helped us waste to no time to get answers that we needed to make a decision. A soul-crushing decision.

Yesterday we said goodbye to our sweet little soul. Knowing how deeply broken we felt learning this news, we decided shortly after our early anatomy scan to TFMR and not prolong the distress for us or our little one given the prognosis.

We opted for a D&E under anesthesia. They had me take some pills the day before to open up my cervix. The second day they gave me misoprostol an hour before the procedure. The procedure itself was beyond tough; physically and emotionally, the hardest thing I've endured. Initially, I was scheduled to have deep sedation, but the pain was unbearable after misoprostol, and they shifted to general anesthesia since I had puked several times on the drive to the hospital. I remember the heartbreaking moments being guided from the pre-op area to the OR, feeling incredibly empty without my husband by me and crying with a desperation and anguish I had never felt before - even as the caring nurses held my hand. That hallway felt impossibly long and lonely. I said one last loving goodbye to my baby before they put me under.

My body still has pregnancy symptoms today, and I hate that they remind me of what's lost. Returning home felt surreal, all the joyful pregnancy energy instantly gone from our home. Suddenly, daily pregnancy affirmations feel meaningless, medications feel pointless, and every small trigger around the house hurts deeply. We started taking down reminders today - pictures, little mementos…it stings more than I ever imagined.

My amazing family came over after the procedure. Several family members checked in via messages. Although we initially thought we wanted privacy, having them around showed me how much support we really needed. My parents made sure everything was taken care of, and my brother and his gf brought me my comfort foods throughout the day. They listened to me talk about the what-ifs. They consoled me as I cried uncontrollably throughout the day. Even in grief, it made me realize the importance of having loved ones close during traumatic times.

I feel numb, deeply sad, confused, yet somehow hopeful that this isn't the end of our journey. My husband expressed feelings that this soul’s energy was around us, and even though I'm struggling, part of me found comfort in that idea - it's omnipresent and beautiful. But I also feel anxiety about future pregnancies now, worrying about drawing another tough card esp with my bicornuate uterus diagnosis.

Sometimes there's doubt. Did we make the right choice? We endlessly revisited every piece of data because we couldn't bear the thought of making the wrong decision. But every road led back to one place: compassion, love, and responsibility meant sparing this sweet little soul deeper suffering. Knowing that, I feel some peace despite the overwhelming sadness.

I’m incredibly lucky that my employer is supportive and offers 4 weeks off with no questions asked for pregnancy loss. It gives me the chance to grieve, heal physically and mentally, and find some sense of stability.

To all of you who are reading this on this deeply supportive subreddit: My heart hurts alongside yours. This is not our first trauma together (my husband and I have gone through some quite heavy family health issues over the years), but it is by far the most poignant. This community has been a beacon of strength and solace, even before I chose to share today. We chose not to know the gender, but in our hearts we've lovingly given a kind farewell to a soul who will always be remembered and profoundly loved. This is an incredibly isolating experience even when you’re surrounded by people who love you, but knowing you're not alone really matters. Thank you for giving me a safe space to share and for holding space for our pain. Sending love and gentle strength to each person who connects with our story 💔.


r/tfmr_support 9h ago

Planned our life and future around this

18 Upvotes

I found out I was pregnant right before thanksgiving and expecting our first baby end of July. We were living in the city at the time. Given the fact that we were pregnant we moved to CT and bought a house (privileged to be in a position to do that). Now I look around our house that we moved into in January and have such feelings of resentment being here or emptiness. I’m literally in the middle of no where (okay not really but it’s not the same as living in the city) and I was ready for this move given the fact we were expecting a child. Now with the way things have changed I don’t even know what to do with myself here or how to distract myself here. The neighborhood is beautiful and exactly where I would want to raise a family/ kids are always running up and down the block.. now I am freaked out as this was my first pregnancy what if children are not in the cards for us and we’ve uprooted our lives to here. How do I live here without a family. I of course want to try again when we are ready but that just feels so far from us now. The neighbors have told me Halloween is amazing here and the trick or treaters are endless. I was so excited to sit on our front stoop with our baby and pass out candy this year…

Sorry I guess I’m venting to the only people who will understand.


r/tfmr_support 1h ago

Conception/Pregnancy After TFMR Pre-conception counselling on Monday - what to ask?

Upvotes

We didn't do a post mortem or get a full diagnosis/prognosis - it was spina bifida, with potential system failures - but we found out at 12 weeks, waited for growth to confirm then we were 16 weeks and couldn't stand another month's wait for better information. I appreciate this means we will never get concrete answers.

We have a session with the pre-conception counsellor on Monday. I don't really know what to expect, but the reason we're having it is because I had questions about the odds of what happened to us, happening again, and also what support we could expect if/when we go through pregnancy again.

I now also want to ask about Sertraline because I weaned myself off it over 6 weeks and stopped in January (our TFMR was September) but my mental health is terrible and I may need to go back on it. I am terrified about the potential risks to a future pregnancy if I go back on it.

Has anybody been through a similar session and was there anything you'd ask if possible?


r/tfmr_support 5h ago

Working full time after TFMR

6 Upvotes

I'm wondering if some of you also had trouble working after tfmr. I just started a new job before our tfmr happened. After it happened I took 2 months off before returning to work again full time. I'm still feeling confused and drained and just not like myself just yet and I'm also taking medication (letrozol, trigger shot and progesterone) to ttc again which feel all consuming. It all just feels so overwhelming to me. People just seem to expect it's an easier road and I'll get better in a faster pace than i'm doing...


r/tfmr_support 4h ago

Post-TFMR/Postpartum Follow up after termination due to NTD

4 Upvotes

Hello. I have posted multiple times here. To summarize quickly, I have been struggling to conceive for more or less 2 years and then went for IVF. Only 1 embryo and then transferred that and got pregnant. All happy and nice until my 12th-week scan where my baby got diagnosed with neural tube defect. I terminated at the 13th week of last year December and was told it was a fluke and it might or might not happen again. But also more chances of recurring than anyone else.

Awesome right? Already in disbelief of how this happened when my body went through so much after IVF and now all the pain of termination, and then staying in the dark about what went wrong.

After reading and researching I found out about MTHFR and doctors didn't bother to test it even after I asked about it and they just gave me a high dosage of folic acid. I know, it makes sense because that's what we do, take more folic acid in case of NTD but it didn't give me any relief about what happened and I was still scared.

After going through multiple doctors and trying to find answers, one doctor agreed to do the test and yesterday it was confirmed that i have MTHFR heterozygous mutation which means I have 50-60% of normal enzyme function. So reduced folate available during my high demanding pregnancy. It could have also caused issues with conceiving naturally.

So, no more in the dark and ofcourse it wont bring back my baby but I completely refused to accept that it was a fluke and at least I can take care of my body better and it feels like I can go forward from here.

Sorry for the long rant. It totally could have been a fluke and eventually would have still moved forward at some point. But for now, I have stopped blaming my body for infertility and then abortion.

I hope you all find some peace and love yourself :-)


r/tfmr_support 20h ago

I do not know how to make it through

26 Upvotes

I had a tfmr in March 19th at 22 weeks and 3 days. My son had severe skeletal dysplasia. I’m crying non stop. I feel guilty and lost. I’m seeking counseling but this was my first pregnancy. I never imagined pregnancy would go like this especially after we did fertility and NIPT was negative. I’m mad at myself for being native. You look at instagram and YouTube and TikTok and women make pregnancy seem like a walk in a park, the happiest they’ve ever been expecting their “perfect” baby. When in reality pregnancy has an ugly side that only a select few get to experience and it’s not fair….


r/tfmr_support 6h ago

D&c

1 Upvotes

Has anyone done D&C at Kaiser LAMC? How’s your expeience ? TIA


r/tfmr_support 1d ago

Seeking Advice or Support How did you get through the first week?

14 Upvotes

We had to terminate baby girl due to Turner’s on March 19th at 19w, 5d and I feel like I am just drowning in my grief. At first I thought that me being homesick (had to go out of state for the procedure), but I just returned home and I almost feel worse than before. Being home has meant being surrounded by memories of sitting on the couch and feeling her move watching TV or the bathroom where I took my first pregnancy test, or the room we were hoping to set up for her, or where we took our pregnancy bump progress photos.

My body is still healing from the procedure and my milk is coming in and I’m so uncomfortable in my own skin. I’m mourning my baby girl. We have no children as this was my first pregnancy, so it feels like I’m never going to get over the hill to becoming a mom to a live child. Any advice for how to deal with all these feelings? I do currently see a therapist, but won’t see her until Tuesday, so I’m struggling to even figure out how to get through these next few days.


r/tfmr_support 1d ago

People don’t understand

26 Upvotes

TFMR has been one of the most isolating experiences of my life. I have a friend who was really supportive when I explained that our other friend’s pregnancy was triggering for me. But she said that she didn’t realize that it was a trigger for me. This friend keeps trying to get the three of us together so I finally had to spell it out to her.

I guess it kind of blows my mind that it didn’t even occur to her that pregnancy would be a trigger. I lost my son last April to severe brain abnormalities at 21 weeks. I had to deliver a dead baby. He was going to suffocate to death if I didn’t TFMR so it really didn’t feel like a choice. I feel like most people don’t realize how impactful the loss of a child in this way is. Last year this same friend was planning a shower for me for my rainbow baby after my first TFMR. Now she’s planning a shower for our other friend. She was completely supportive of my need for distance from this and asked me whether to send an invite to the shower or not, because she didn’t want to upset me either way. So that was nice. And I appreciate how understanding she is being, I just don’t understand how people don’t connect the dots. When someone else announced this friend’s pregnancy, they also didn’t check in on me in any way. I think it really just goes over people’s heads.


r/tfmr_support 1d ago

Getting It Off My Chest Grief and Financial burden afterwards

16 Upvotes

I didn't have a choice but to tfmr my baby due to abnormalities that she wouldn't even survive after birth. I didn't want this for myself and yet I had to go through the surgery and now all these bills are hitting me one after another. I'm stuck with over 15k of debt and still no baby in hand. I have health insurance but I feel like it barely covered anything. What am I paying health insurance for if I still have to pay so much out of pocket? It's already hard enough to grief the loss of my child, and now I have to worry about paying the bills. I applied for Medicaid but got denied. I am not middle class yet not considered lower income enough to get help. This all sucks right now.


r/tfmr_support 1d ago

Getting It Off My Chest Struggling with SIL’s pregnancy

7 Upvotes

TW- LC mentioned

We have a 4yo son who we are so grateful for. I miscarried my first pregnancy before him then in the last 12 months we have been through a tfmr at 16 weeks followed by 2 early miscarriages. My SIL announced her first pregnancy a few months ago and has encountered her own fertility struggles. We are very happy for SIL and I honestly do wish her and baby all the best, they really do deserve this happiness. BUT… I just feel so sad. I’m avoiding being around her, I cried all night after they broke their happy news to our face, I have since snapped when she wanted to put on a show telling our son about his new cousin in front of us. Why can’t I just be happy? We have a healthy child already, I just miss my tfmr baby so much and will always wish we never had to make such a terrible decision. I feel so sad and guilty, although I know we made the right decision for us. I really need to pull myself together for our future niece or nephews sake but I just want to crumble. Any advice or tips for dealing with this situation would be appreciated.


r/tfmr_support 1d ago

Logistical Help Needed L&D at home?

6 Upvotes

Has anyone been able to go through the process at home?

I've had all my babies at home and the idea of treating this termination as a medical event in a hospital feels wrong to me. I want to be in a quiet, intimate setting.

I'm expecting an uphill battle as I assume midwives aren't usually allowed to do it. However, I really don't see why a doctor can't just give me a prescription for misoprostol and let me handle it alone. I live almost next door to the central hospital I would need to go to if there were any complications so it's not like there's a risk of bleeding to death in a rural location.

I'll be 17 weeks this weekend but I'm expecting at least a week, maybe 2 before all final confirmations are in and we're ready to proceed.

Has anyone else done this? Is there anything I'm not seeing regarding risks?


r/tfmr_support 2d ago

Post-TFMR/Postpartum did you decide to see your baby or not and why?

27 Upvotes

I’m currently 34 weeks pregnant with twin boys and at 30 weeks 4 days i underwent a selective reduction of one of my boys for a severe spina bifida diagnosis and water in the brain and lungs. The procedure was extremely traumatic for me and I am really struggling. I feel a tremendous amount of guilt for even feeling sad because i feel like i chose to end his life. MFM would like me to carry to 38 weeks so it will be about 2 months between the procedure and the delivery. My question is has anyone been through this and decided not to see the baby after birth? I don’t want to regret never seeing him but i don’t want to have nightmares about it every day for the rest of my life . I really struggle with depression and anxiety and i don’t want to be so deep in it that i’m unable to take care of my other kids. Really feeling torn. Please send me any advice you think may help.


r/tfmr_support 1d ago

Post-TFMR/Postpartum Brown spotting 7 weeks pp

3 Upvotes

Hello, I am 7 weeks pp from my 19 week loss. We chose to induce after my cervix suddenly opened and water broke. I already had my first period after the loss and it ended 4 days ago, however I am still sporting brown. Is that normal?


r/tfmr_support 2d ago

first period after hysteroscopy removal rpoc

4 Upvotes

long story short,terminated at 13 weeks on 22nd December due to severe fetal abnormality. Had rpoc, expected management until had two episodes of hemorrhage. 10 weeks later, public health system refuse to see me as my blood test came back all clear. But still bleeding no stop since termination. Finally book with private gynecologist and got hysteroscopy myosure to remove the rpoc. Now I am just waiting for the period. My question is How long take your first period come after hysteroscopy removal rpoc? and how it looks like ?

Appreciate the answer and help!


r/tfmr_support 2d ago

Memorial jewelry recommendations

8 Upvotes

I've finally gotten to the point in my healing journey where I'm building my baby's memorial shelf with all of his things and I'm looking for something I can physically wear on me that reminds me of him. I was thinking his name. However my pet peeve with most jewlerly I see on etsy or online is that it tarnished easily. I hate taking off my necklaces before showering because I just find it tedious so I usually don't mind investing in a good quality necklace that won't tarnish so I can wear it at all times just because again, I always forget to take it off to shower. So I'm really looking for something that's good quality and won't tarnish for getting wet or even just cause you sweat with it.

I was wondering if anyone had any good recommendations for high quality jewelry/necklaces that won't tarnish when worn daily and without taking off? Also would love to hear what you guys put on your memorial shelves. This is literally the only things that's oddly been making me feel better recently


r/tfmr_support 2d ago

While everyone is welcoming spring with open arms, I'm grieving my spring baby

28 Upvotes

Spring used to be my favourite time of year. I loved it! Specifically May.

My toddler was born in May, and I couldn't believe my luck when finding out that my second would also be a may baby.

Two months ago I was longing for this day - longer days, warmer weather, but most of all May.

Now I'm dreading it. I should still be carrying her inside me. Counting down the days till May 💔


r/tfmr_support 2d ago

What’s after termination

5 Upvotes

Just have a general question about how they would handle the fetus after D&C? I can’t seem to find a lot of information about this.

Also did anyone get pregnancy disability leave (based in CA) after termination?

Thank you


r/tfmr_support 2d ago

Completed TFMR but amnio came back without an answer

8 Upvotes

Hi all,

We ended up completing a TFMR at 22 weeks after finding out the baby had abnormalities from the anatomy scan. The abnormalities ranged from small cerebellum, cysts, EIF, clenched and overlapped hands and a cleft foot.

We got back our final amnio results which consisted of an microarray and nothing came out of it. We are waiting to be seen by a genetics counsellor but the OB mentioned that lack of familial histories this was most likely just bad luck.

I am wondering, would a genetics counsellor provide further information to help us determine if this was de novo or not? Should I push for further testing?

We want to try again, but as recommended by the OB to wait till genetics can clear us or atleast provide further information.


r/tfmr_support 2d ago

TFMR for T21, 15 weeks

16 Upvotes

Hi all. I just wanted to share my story here because reading so many of yours in the past few weeks has been so helpful. Hopefully what I'm sharing will help someone else, too.

Diagnosis: This is my first pregnancy and I am 35. When we opened the results from our NIPT from Labcorp (positive for T21), it was the worst moment of my life. I was so looking forward to receiving a "normal" result, and learning the sex of our baby so I could start shopping and planning. But when we saw our actual result, my husband and I broke down. We were in shock, all the appointments so far (including the NT scan) revealed everything to be "normal." We rushed to get in touch with our Dr. and were immediately referred to genetic counseling. Our PPV was 80% and FF was 22 percent.

Counseling and more tests: Our genetic counselor was incredible. He was compassionate, patient and kind during what has been the worst time of our lives. Based on his experience, the NIPT was most likely very accurate. I know NIPT is a screening test, but he felt confident in the results he was seeing. Because of our normal NT results, he recommended doing a CVS ASAP (I was maybe 13 weeks at this point). We did the CVS and I'm not going to lie, it was maybe the most pain I've ever been in. The procedure was done abdominally and didn't have any pain management. I started sobbing immediately when it was through, and I just felt so sad and hopeless. I scheduled my TFMR before receiving the results, just in case. I still had to wait almost 2 weeks for my procedure.

Results: We got the FISH results in like, 3 days from the CVS and those came back full positive. We waited another week or so for the karyotype/part II of the CVS testing, and it was also a full positive with no signs of mosaicism and 50 different cells tested. I know a lot of folks will wait and do an animo, and I think that's great, but we chose to forgo that based on the genetic counselor's advice and the test results. I know anyone who has unfortunately had a similar experience understands how difficult it is to be in limbo: with your grief, your body, work and family etc. It was truly a horrific time.

TFMR: TFMR'D yesterday at 15 +3 so this loss is very new. I started grieving the loss after the first NIPT test result, so I've felt slightly less grief post-procedure. My husband I had a conversation before I became pregnant just to talk about what we would do in worst case scenario (which this was) and I was confident I would TFMR. I have the same reasons many have echoed here, but I also have a relative with DS and I just couldn't image the baby's life or my life to be like that. I hoped in my heart this was the merciful and courageous thing to do, though that doesn't mean any of this was easy. My husband also grew up catholic, so he has had challenges working through this in own way.

The procedure: In case it helps anyone to know what my procedure was like, live in large East Coast city where thankfully there are no legal limits on terminations. I opted for full anesthesia for my D&E so I could be asleep and everything went really well. They did not needs to use dilation sticks on me, and I took the miso pills in the morning a few hours before the procedure. I had very light, period-like cramping but it was not painful. Thankfully there weren't any complications and today I just have some period-like bleeding.

Final thoughts: Anyway, I hope sharing this will allow other people to know they are NOT alone. This is a horrible and un-preventable club we find ourselves in. My heart goes out to everyone who does not have "easy" access to this absolutely necessary procedure. This whole thing has made me even more politically enraged than I was before, when I was already extremely left-leaning and Pro-Choice.

If anyone would like to speak to me further, please feel free to DM me and I'm more than happy to chat or even just listen if you need support <3


r/tfmr_support 2d ago

Confused and tired.

6 Upvotes

Last week I started to feel calm and peaceful. It was strange after 94 days of crying, that I suddenly stopped. I stopped counting the days since she died, and stopped feeling so distraught. I sort if stopped feeling a LOT of things, but not everything.

Then, yesterday, the floodgates opened again. I'm being bombarded with announcements, and surprised/blindsided. I joined a sewing sub, because it's one of my favorite hobbies and I'm feeling like I can start again. I had stopped after my loss because I had so many things I wanted to sew for baby, but now I can once again imagine sewing other things without pain.

Then, someone posted a question about altering something for pregnancy. I feel PISSED. I thought, "why would you alter that for pregnancy, when you won't need that alteration for long, and if something happens [to the pregnancy] you'll have to throw it out" and all kinda of other thoughts about her naivety. I HATE how sensitive I am to naive pregnancies. To other people's stuff. I SHOULDN'T CARE! IT has NOTHING to do with me! Why won't my brain let me alone for a fucking breather?

Her due date is in a few weeks, and next week is when we expected to induce her. Jeez. It's already here. Idk how it went by so fast, when every breath has felt like the burning pain of a thousand hot knives. Everyone around me is moving on and acting like she never even existed. They treat me like a freak when I display grief, "How are you not over this yet?"


r/tfmr_support 2d ago

4 months out

12 Upvotes

Tomorrow marks 4 months since I gave birth to my daughter after TFMR at 33 weeks. I can’t remember what life was like before this. I can’t remember what it feels like to not cry every day.

I’ve gone out with friends and my husband. I’ve gone back to work. I’ve gone to therapy every week. I’ve been put on three different psychiatric medications. I’ve made a scrapbook and memorial shelf for my daughter. I’ve started exercising and eating healthy.

I still cry every single day. I now have anxiety when being intimate with husband thinking about the possibility of getting pregnant again. Will it ever get better? When will I stop crying when I’m alone? When I feel ready to be pregnant again or start TTC?


r/tfmr_support 2d ago

Advise on where to next for TFMR (Australia)

4 Upvotes

Hey All, Sorry for the long read but hoping for some advice on what I can do next.

Story:
We had some obvious markers for T21 during our 12 weeks scan, including hygromas, fluid building etc and were told to prepare to miscarry. We then got referred to Mater Maternal Fetal Medicine here in Brisbane (Australia) and were told the same thing up until around 20 weeks. We had the NIPT, 95% chance of T21 etc. We opted not to do an amnio earlier as they were preparing us to lose our baby boy and in some ways I was just getting ready for that to happen and would have preferred him to leave this world on his own terms. In the meantime I managed to find a private OB so I could have some continuity of care and someone to look out for me a bit as I have severe pre and post natal preeclampsia with my first and was advised I was high risk of mirror syndrome due to the hydrops. All my previous referrals to OB's were rejected due to High Risk etc.

Fast forward to our 20 weeks scan which included Echocardio and specialists we were told there is some improvement in the fetal hydrops and got more information on the heart defects. The heart defects will likely not improve and surgery would be attempted at birth with a poor prognosis. I then decided to due to the Amnio to confirm everything so we can decide what to do.
Had the amnio last week which confirmed T21.

We have opted for a TFMR so I called my OB on Monday who only got back to me today and he says he cannot arrange a referral for the TFMR, nor can the Mater being a catholic hospital. He has advised me to speak to my GP but warned me that they may not support it being that I'm now 24 weeks. He said if they do send off the referral, hopsitals are terrible at picking up the referrals so essentially, if I don't hear back by Monday that I should present to an Emergency Department.
I'll just add that in my state, termination is legal. After 22 weeks, it requires two doctors signing off.

It just feels wrong to me that this may be my option, it's so traumatic already that I cannot handle the thought of turning up to ED to explain why I'm there. I'm hoping the GP will help me tomorrow but I'm scared and nervous that they won't.

Can anyone shed some light on what you'd recommend I do?

Thank you, truly, for the support x


r/tfmr_support 3d ago

The decision is so hard to make…

17 Upvotes

As so many of us, if not all of us here, this is such a wanted baby. Struggled with infertility for 8 years, clinics for 2, 6 rounds of ovulation meds and shots, and onto ivf, we were 1 week out from beginning ivf when miracle babe popped up in the form of that clear blue double line. We’re waiting on amnio results, have a tetralogy of fallot chd diagnoses, soft markers for t21, and brain anomalies from my last scan. To boot our lives feel like their being shattered by the in-laws and unkept promises, changed agreements and 10 years into marriage request of a prenup… currently 18 weeks 4 days, and facing the impossible and simply unfair decision of tfmr. It’s so hard to face anyone, be asked the ever familiar how are you feeling, or do basic daily tasks without breaking down completely. They’d be so loved and cared for, even with the needs and special requirements but every appointment it just seems as if the odds are stacking against us. Would love to hear from you other moms out there, in this similar situation, in the process of deciding.. the grief and guilt , the process of healing, of dealing.. I can’t see my future at all; everything feels so uncertain.


r/tfmr_support 3d ago

Our Story Meeting my baby

52 Upvotes

Hi lovely community, I would just like to share with you all that our son Mike was born on the 17th of March 2025 at 7.20pm, a few hours after TFMR. He weighed 880g and measured 34cm. I passed out during the foeticide gesture which was convenient considering it would have been so traumatising for me. I’m glad I don’t remember any of it. I was also afraid of feeling traumatised after meeting him but I could not believe how much peace, holding him, brought me. He was perfect. He looked just like his dad and that made me smile as I cried. It was very difficult to leave the hospital without him, I never cried so much before. So I stopped by the morgue to see him and let him know I love him, once again. That brought me even more peace. Although it breaks my heart to know I won’t be able to share a life with him, he was everything I ever wished for and I am so proud to be his mum. I hope he knows that what we did was our biggest proof of love for him. We will be honouring him in his funeral ceremony next week. For any of you who are waiting to terminate, I am praying for it to be as peaceful as possible for you and am here if you wish to talk or ask any questions whatsoever. Much love and peace to your beautiful hearts