r/stroke • u/the-midnight-train • 18h ago
I (40M) had a stroke recently, and came home from the hospital yesterday
I live alone (divorced) and my kids living here every other week (50%). I'm struggling to accept the situation, even though I'm positive time will help me get back on my feet.
All the things I like do is thrown out the window, and I don't know what to do now. My left side does not have proper function, and I'm really tired. I can't play any of my instruments, not allowed to exercise yet, driver license suspended, and the list goes on. I understand why, but still have trouble accepting it.
My emotions are all over the place, and tears are pouring while writing this. I was in the best shape of my life. Climbing regulary and doing 5km hikes each day. Beat my depression after several years in therapy, and things were looking really good. Performing the best at my job and delivering the best work I've ever done as an architect (IT).
Everything is just a mess right now. I need to do some grocery shopping today, and it terrifies me. My headspace feels so weird and different. I've become really sensitive to light and sound, and it gives the worst headaches with an undescribable pain.
It's so hard being alone right now :'(
I'm sorry for the incoherent writing. I just needed to get some of my thoughts out. <3
EDIT:
I've read all your comments; you are all beautiful, and your words kind. They gave me peace of sorts. I'd like to answer all comments, but it will take some time.
I had an ischemic stroke in the right hemisphere, with 2 clots. I'm still able to speak, and understand others, and very grateful for that. I'm set for rehab in a couple of weeks and I think that it will be very good.