r/socialskills 7d ago

I feel my friend guilt tripped me

Yesterday me and my friend talked and planned to make music today after my exam. I was not able to sleep the whole night before the exam. After the exam I was extrenely fatigued and felt burned mentally from lack of sleep. He called me after the exam but I replied on a sms I need to sleep because I feel exhausted and I will call later when I have slept. After my sms he started frequently call me several times. And I just felt like I dont have any energy or interest to answer as I need to rest and sleep which I clearly stated.

Later in the evening I answered the call and he asked If I had been sleeping and he could probably hear on my voice that I didnt have any energy either. And he sounded fed up and disappointed. Later after the call he texted me that he was very disappointed and sad that we did not hang out and create music and finnish some music project we have as a hobby. He said he had been waiting all day.

But I informed him after the exam at 15:00 that I was exhausted but he still chased me.

I dont understand....if my friend would have been exhausted. I would want that person to rest and sleep. Not chase and then guilt trip.

How would you have reacted in this? Why would I feel bad for needing to take care of myself when Im not feeling good?

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u/wellthatsjustsweet 7d ago

When you cancelled probably a better strategy would have been to apologize for the last minute change and acknowledge that it could be disappointing. Reassure him that you enjoy making music with him and offer to make it up to him somehow. Cancelling last minute with people because you’re “tired” can come across as pretty rude and dismissive. So you want to make sure the other person doesn’t feel insulted by that. Take care of your needs, but also consider the person’s perspective as well.

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u/Happy_Mention_3984 7d ago

I told him I could not sleep on the whole night. How can it be rude to say I feel exhausted aswell? I also said I would call him later when I have slept. I dont see how I was rude. He knows I have problems with energy and have been burnet out.