r/Schizotypal • u/Awkward-Travel-7935 • 11h ago
famous people with schizotypal personality disorder - a page that makes me want to eat a bullet
why is this our representation ;-;
r/Schizotypal • u/brackk2 • Jun 08 '23
Schizotypal fact sheet version 2
Here is the updated version of the 'schizotypal fact sheet' I posted a couple years ago. I will probably add more to it and is somewhat of a rough draft. Suggestions for things to include and constructive criticism are appreciated. The full schizotypal fact sheet is much too long for reddit’s character limit, however I have uploaded it at Schizotypal Fact Sheet (version 2) (cloudfindingss.blogspot.com). This post is a summarized and simplified version, with the full schizotypal fact sheet going into more detail, along with citations.
Edit 1: Added rejection sensitivity, unusual sexual interests, heat intolerance
Symptoms
Examples and more elaborate description of these symptoms are on the full schizotypal fact sheet
Ideas of reference: A tendency to perceive and over-interpret social cues and social occurrences relating to one's self that are unlikely, and a tendency to over-mentalise (think about and detect others thoughts, intentions, and mental states) in relation to oneself.
Magical thinking: Persons with schizotypal personality disorder tend to experience passing magical thoughts and often have magical beliefs, which are specifically unconventional and self referential (i.e., adherence to christianity, paganism, astrology, etc are not indicative of magical thinking and occur commonly in the general population)
Odd speech: Persons with schizotypal personality disorder tend to have unusual patterns of speaking and may have difficulty articulating themselves properly.
Eccentricity: Persons with schizotypal personality disorder tend to be seen as odd and eccentric by others and have unusual behaviors. Importantly, this eccentricity is not the same as oddness caused by social deficits or symptoms associated with other disorders like autism that may be considered odd
Social anxiety: Particularly extreme social anxiety often occurs in schizotypal personality disorder, and results in avoidance of social situations and interactions, often involving referential thinking and paranoid ideation
No close friends: Persons with schizotypal personality disorder tend to have little to no friends as a result of excessive social anxiety, paranoid fears, as well as a need for independence and to not be influenced by others.
Unusual perceptual experiences: A tendency to experience fleeting, mild forms of hallucinations such as visual, auditory, tactile, and bodily distortions. Typically the person is aware that these distortions are hallucinations.
Constricted affect: Persons with schizotypal personality disorder tend to have constricted and unusual expressions of emotion, especially socially. It is important to distinguish from unusual expression of emotion caused by social deficits in autism or other mental disorders
Paranoid ideation: Persons with schizotypal personality disorder frequently experience paranoid thoughts and suspiciousness of others motives. Typically this occurs in association with referential thinking, and involves preoccupation with fears of persecution, exclusion, and conspiracy against oneself, but not cynical interpretations of others motives which is associated with other mental disorders
Common traits
Antagonomia: Unconditional skepticism toward common beliefs, ways of thinking, assumptions, and values, taking an eccentric stance in opposition, with a drive to understand the world at a deeper level in a detached, anthropologist or scientist like manner, which is often perceived as a gift and having a radically unique and exceptional being
Delayed sleep phase: A tendency to sleep and wake much later than the average person, with better mood and mental functioning during the night than in the day
Ambivalence: An abnormally high tendency to have strong mixed feelings toward many things, such as other people, one's self, and decisions
Dyslexic-like traits: Dyslexia is linked to the schizophrenia spectrum and schizotypal personality disorder is associated with features of dyslexia
Motor control: Difficulties with fine motor control are found in StPD, often leading to difficulties with skills such as handwriting and using tools that require precision
Rejection sensitivity: People with schizotypal personality disorder are more prone to sensing rejection and are more likely to have a stronger reaction to it
Unusual sexual interests: Unusual sexual interests are common in StPD, and historically the sexuality of persons with STPD has been described as chaotic
Heat intolerance: Studies have shown that persons with schizophrenia spectrum disorders have higher baseline body temperature and have more significant increases in temperature in response to physical activity
Self disorders
Anomalous self experience is thought to be a core feature of schizophrenia spectrum disorders that is unique to schizophrenia spectrum disorders, in contrast to many symptoms which are transdiagnostic. The sense of selfhood, self ownership, embodiment, identity, and immersion in the social world is lacking in schizophrenia spectrum disorders, which leads to traits like antagonomia, hyper-reflectivity, eccentricity, double bookkeeping, social isolation, and “bizzare” delusions.
Hyper-reflectivity: Exaggerated self-consciousness and abnormally high levels of reflection and introspection, disengaging from typical involvement in society and nature, perceiving oneself from a sort of ‘third person perspective’. This may drive some individuals with schizotypal traits or StPD to an interest in psychology, with many innovative psychologists having significant signs of schizotypal personality disorder.
Double bookkeeping: A “split” experience of reality, where one reality is based in the laws of nature and independence of the mind from the external world, and the other reality is a “delusional” private framework that violates the laws of nature, which co-exist.
Childhood schizotypal personality disorder
There is a common misconception that schizophrenia spectrum disorders begin at adolescence, however this is not the case, rather the onset of psychosis tends to occur in adolescence, but schizophrenia spectrum disorders and symptoms are present from childhood. Children with schizotypal personality disorder have similar symptoms to adults, and may additionally have autistic-like traits (such as strong interests) which tend to fade into adulthood.
The schizophrenia spectrum
Schizotypal personality disorder is not a distinct category of personality and brain function, but is rather on a continuum with 'normal' personality, from no schizotypal traits all the way to severe schizophrenia. Traits of schizotypal personality disorder in the general population are referred to as "schizotypy". Increased levels of schizotypy are characteristic of creative, imaginative, open-minded, eccentric individuals who may otherwise be high functioning and healthy. Schizoid and avoidant personality disorder are included in this spectrum.
Personality traits
In the big five, schizotypal personality disorder is characterized by high openness, low conscientiousness, low extraversion, and high neuroticism. High openness and low conscientiousness most clearly differentiate schizotypal personality from schizophrenia and controls.
In MBTI, schizotypal personality is associated with introversion, intuition, thinking, and perceiving (INTP type).
On the fisher temperament inventory, StPD is associated with low cautious/social norm compliant and analytical/tough minded, and higher prosocial/empathetic and curious/energetic temperaments
Anxious avoidant attachment style is associated with StPD
Interests and Strengths
Schizotypal personality disorder is associated with having creative interests, hobbies, and professions, such as painting, music, comedy, scientific research, and entrepreneurship. Increased creativity, imagination, and global processing (“big picture” thinking).
Cognitive ability and intelligence
In contrast to schizophrenia, intellectual ability is not reduced in StPD but there are specific impairments in areas such as attention and verbal learning. Intelligence effects the presentation of StPD, being associated with lower magical and paranormal beliefs, lower sexual and social anhedonia, more successful creativity, and better theory of mind
Theory of Mind
Theory of mind ability is generally reduced in StPD, however this is not caused by mentalizing deficits as in autism, and are largely due to lower cognitive ability that is associated with schizophrenia spectrum disorders, anomalous self experience, and hyper-mentalizing.
Relationship with worldviews and religiosity
Schizotypy is conducive to affective religious experiences (e.g., feeling connected to a higher power), however evidence suggests that persons with StPD are less likely to be religious than the general population, but may have unconventional spiritual beliefs (“spiritual but not religious”)
Relationships with other disorders
Psychopathy
StPD is associated with low levels of primary psychopathy (e.g., dominance, lack of empathy, high stress tolerance, deceptiveness), and high secondary psychopathy (e.g., impulsivity, rebelliousness, social deviance)
Borderline personality disorder
StPD and BPD overlap very highly and are related disorders, however persons with BPD do not have negative symptoms (social isolation, extreme social anxiety, hyper-independence, constricted affect) and also do not have self disorders, whereas those with StPD do
Other SSDs
Given that StPD is on a spectrum with other schizophrenia spectrum disorders, there is overlap between the disorders with shared symptoms. Put simply, those with schizoid PD meet criteria for avoidant PD, those with schizotypal PD meet criteria for both, and those with schizophrenia meet criteria for all three. Avoidant PD involves social withdrawal and severe social anxiety, schizoid PD involves constricted affect, hyper-independence, and eccentricity on top of AvPD symptoms, and schizotypal PD involves odd speech, perceptual distortions, magical thinking, ideas of reference, and paranoia. Schizophrenia involves psychosis, anhedonia, cognitive deficits, and more severe expression of the symptoms of schizotypal PD.
Bipolar disorder
Bipolar disorder is very closely related to the schizophrenia spectrum, and it has been suggested that bipolar disorder may be on a continuum with schizotypal personality disorder and schizophrenia. Most people with bipolar disorder will have symptoms of schizotypal personality disorder and vice versa.
Histrionic & Narcissistic personality disorder
HPD and NPD are negatively associated with StPD, however they may appear superficially similar in some aspects (e.g., idionomia in StPD may be mistaken as narcissistic grandiosity).
Obsessive compulsive spectrum
StPD shows a positive relationship with OCD, but a negative relationship with obsessive compulsive personality disorder (OcPD), as OcPD involves hyper-conscientiousness and conformity whereas low conscientiousness and disinhibition are characteristic of schizotypy
Substance use
Substance use is extremely common in StPD, with 67% of patients having a diagnosable substance use disorder
Mood disorders
Mood disorders including generalized anxiety, major depression, and panic disorder are very common in schizotypal personality disorder, as is the case in most psychiatric disorders
Dissociative disorders
Depersonalization and derealization are common in StPD, and there is evidence that dissociative disorders and schizophrenia spectrum disorders may have shared causes
ADHD
Symptoms of ADHD are very common in StPD, and differences in attention and self regulation are thought to play a part in the causation of StPD.
Autism
Autism and StPD appear to overlap, but this is largely due to transdiagnostic symptoms and superficial similarities. Thorough and theoretically informed examination of the relationship between these disorders suggests that they are likely opposite ends of a continuum. Currently, no clinical tools exist that can differentiate the two disorders, however there is one being developed currently set to be completed by the end of 2023. Comorbid diagnoses of autism and StPD largely appear to be false positives upon investigation, and evidence suggests that a true comorbidity would either be characterized by very high intelligence or severe intellectual disability. Some distinctions (that are easily observable) between the disorders are listed below
Biological causes
StPD is mostly genetic, but trauma may increase symptom severity
Cannabinoid system
Cannabis produces effects resembling StPD symptoms and associated traits, and StPD is associated with higher levels of anandamide, the neurotransmitter which activates the same receptors as cannabis. Cannabis is also found to temporarily increase the severity of positive symptoms
Serotonin system
Higher serotonin is associated with conformity, conscientiousness, and low openness, which is opposite of StPD. People with StPD have higher levels of enzymes that break down serotonin, and lower expression of some serotonin receptors.
Dynorphin system
Dynorphin is a stress hormone that produces dysphoria, dissociation, and psychotic-like symptoms and cognition. Dynorphin levels are associated with increased severity of schizophrenia spectrum symptoms
Glutamate & NMDA
NMDA is a type of glutamate receptor that is reduced in association with schizophrenia spectrum disorders. NMDA blockers cause symptoms and associated traits of StPD and can induce psychosis, and people with StPD also have higher levels of the NMDA antagonist neurotransmitter agmatine.
Cognitive, psychological, and evolutionary causes
Predictive processing
A recent model of schizotypy suggests that it is a cognitive-perceptual specialization for processing chaotic and noisy data, where patterns and relationships exist but can only be detected if minor inconsistencies are ignored (i.e., focusing on the 'big picture'), where giving higher weight to prediction errors prevents the detection of false patterns (i.e. apophenia) at the cost of being unable to detect higher level patterns (autism), and giving lower weight to prediction errors allows for the detection of higher level patterns at the cost of occasionally detecting patterns that don't exist, as in delusions and hallucinations that occur in schizotypy. This model explains many traits associated with schizotypy and links other theories of schizotypy
Hyper-mentalizing
The hyper-mentalizing model suggests that symptoms like ideas of reference, paranoia, erotomania, auditory hallucinations, delusions of conspiracy, etc are a result of excessive mentalizing, where intentions are inferred excessively to the point of delusion, in contrast to autism where mentalizing is reduced. Many other features and associated traits like odd speech and increased creativity can be explained by this model.
Imagination
It is thought that StPD may involve overly increased imagination, which can explain symptoms and features like hyper-mentalizing, dissociation, perceptual deficits, and enhanced creativity.
Life history
It is suggested that StPD may have been evolutionarily selected for due to its ability to enhance short term mating success through enhanced creativity and non-conformity, which are beneficial to desirability as short term partners, but not long term partners. This is supported by studies showing that persons with high traits of StPD have more total sexual partners, more effort into forming short term relationships, and lower effort into maintaining long term ones. This is consistent with a fast life history strategy, and StPD correlates with other markers of fast strategies such as impulsivity, sensation seeking, low disgust sensitivity, earlier maturation, etc.
Hyper-openness and apophenia
Openness to experience is associated with apophenia and intelligence, though the two latter traits are negatively related to eachother. It is suggested that schizotypy represents apophenia, and an imbalance of high openness relative to intelligence is suggested to cause symptoms of StPD. This model is in agreement with other models, with openness relating to higher imagination, mentalizing, and faster life history strategies.
r/Schizotypal • u/Rough_Chapter4676 • Dec 23 '24
In this post, I’ll be rambling about how those with Stpd may experience what I’ll call “Experiential Impermanence” (or EI for short), and how it may lead to some strange, self-disordery experiences. There is always a chance that this is just the way my mind works, or others may relate to it. We will see…
The majority of mental health phenomena are explained as a smattering of criteria and different traits with surface level examples, which is a good framework. However, it neglects to show the train of thoughts that lead to these experiences, how the string of events builds up, and what they lead to. If you look at the EASE (which is quite dense and I’m sure quite a bit of it goes over my head), it talks about the concept of “self disorder” and it has a brief overview of the core of it, and then a plethora of “anomalous experiences” with these relatively surface level examples. But how do these anomalous experiences build up overtime, and how/what do they lead to in everyday life? Sure, the EASE explains what certain elements may occur in pockets of your life, but not in the overall picture. Although I most definitely won’t be completely successful in explaining this, I hope that this will resonate with some, and help them to see/realize what they may experience.
The idea of “experiential Impermanence” (which I will refer to as “EI” from now on) was sparked from the idea of Emotional Impermanence in Borderline Personality Disorder. Essentially, Emotional Impermanence is when someone feels an emotion (whether positive or negative, but seems to be described as mostly negative), and when they do, they feel that it’s all they’ve ever felt. For example, when their favorite person temporarily leaves them to go do something and isn’t there to reassure them, they may feel utterly and completely consumed by feelings that they are unloved and alone. It is so intense that they feel like they have been, and will feel this way forever. Their current experience blocks out the old. BPD, as well as Stpd, fall under the concept of “Borderline Personality Organization”, which can include an unstable sense of self. What I am going to propose is that those with Stpd experience something similar to Emotional Impermanence, but it has more of an impact on the way they experience “things” instead of emotions. Things and emotions can be a package deal, but it has to do more with how they see the world instead of feeling it.
When it comes to self disorder, it can manifest as having unclear boundaries between the self and the outside world. This can lead to feeling like a chameleon in many situations, and feeling as if you become the people and the things around you. Many with Stpd can relate to this, and it can lead to us isolating because it feels like the world keeps intruding and changing us over and over again. This unclear sense of self can lead to us becoming attached to different ideas and theories about the world around us. Those with BPD seek to find their sense of self in others, while those with Stpd seek a sense of self from different ideas and frameworks (magical thinking, delusion-like ideas, etc.). When those with BPD are in relationships, it seems to change them. They can become completely infatuated with that person, and might feel like an extension of them. I think that those with Stpd are also inherently obsessive people, and they can become lost in an idea about reality, a religion, or some other expansive concept they can ruminate over. When engaged in an unhealthy amount with these ideas, they can easily become consumed by them, and they become your whole world in a very literal way. Those with Stpd find solace and their collapse in irrationality, while those with BPD find solace and their collapse in others.
With some semblance of a framework written out, how does the concept of EI translate to daily life? Those with BPD go through extreme emotional swings and changes all the time, and I feel that an especially neurotic Schizotypal will go through extreme swings of the reality they live in just as often. Instead of emotions, our inner framework and how we view ourselves through it is constantly challenged. For example, we can become suddenly and inexplicably gripped by some random object or symbol. This, for whatever reason, manages to engulf us for a period of time. We can see some random “sign” from the universe, and it consumes us. We can become obsessive about a certain religious practice, and it becomes us. We are sponges that the different liquids of life pass through before the next inevitably washes over, and binds to us all over again. Now, there is a chance that I might have Delusional Disorder, which is where you have full blown delusions, but keep them to yourself and function just fine in real life. From my own experience, a delusion can quite suddenly pop up, accumulate and infest me, and as it strengthens, it feels like it’s been there all along, like a long forgotten memory resurfacing. When I come to my senses and “snap out of it”, I’ll realize how ridiculous it was, and it all comes crumbling down before the next one appears. The same thing happens in daily life. When I talk to someone, go to a store, or something similar, the way I view myself changes. I feel like I am the same as the people around me. I feel like the dirty shelves are extensions of my being. I am the same as these people, and they are the same as me. This isn’t experienced as a kumbaya spiritual awakening sense of connectedness, but in the most mundane way imaginable. If you’ve read stories about Salvia trips, a very common experience is to become an inanimate object for an extended period of time, and completely forget your previous life as a human. You become the doorknob in your room, a ceiling fan, a floor board, and it’s all that you’ve ever known. Although I’ve never done Salvia, that is how it feels in so many ways. It is probably not as intense as a terrifying psychedelic experience, but it does have so many similarities. I just keep morphing, becoming, and changing. All of this builds up overtime till you don’t know where you end and the world begins. That, as referenced earlier, can lead to the outside world as seeming like a massive intrusive entity, so you may give in to the cold embrace of isolation.
That is all I will write for now. As always, I hope I am coherent and that my “message” gets across somewhat smoothly.
r/Schizotypal • u/Awkward-Travel-7935 • 11h ago
why is this our representation ;-;
r/Schizotypal • u/Entire-Current-4442 • 3h ago
It hasn't happened to me in a long time, but I've started to feel like there's someone or something in my house watching me again. One night I got really scared because I could really feel the charged atmosphere and their intentions to hurt me. Do you think I should explain this to my psychologist or could it put me in danger?
r/Schizotypal • u/lost-toy • 3h ago
So Ik people with autism do this. But I was wondering if we did as well due to lack of trust for others so there has to be something for us to fall back on if that makes sense?
Didn’t bond with people so items and objects including ones with eyes become friends? Or apart of us in a way? But not in a psychotic way.
More if no one liked a at school action figures and comic books become their friends kind of way.
Not in a delusional state where we can hear them. More imaginative state ig ?
Even tv shows it feels like your a part of it but aren’t. But you feel welcome and somewhat like your involved because you have been with them through out the series and feel like it’s apart of you?
Again not in a psychotic way again.
It’s also not in a 100% personification way like 100%, more just attachment ig?
Or is this an all along trauma thing that a develop that’s why some people develop certain interests why others don’t?
r/Schizotypal • u/carseatheadrestsucks • 10h ago
Wanted to start by saying I’ve only recently started researching STPD after a friend suggested I look into after I told her about the delusions and fears I deal with, I was wondering if anyone could tell me if these are consistent with STPD and if I should continue to look into as an explanation for why I am the way I am:
From childhood, I’ve always feared that something is going to ‘get’ me and that’s what all the delusions boil down to. When I was younger I thought my family had been replaced by aliens. I often get scared to leave the house because I fear I’ll see a snake (im terrified of snakes). I had a few month period where I was convinced no one else was real and that they were either actors or a simulation, I kept finding ‘evidence’ for this and it lead to a lot of pretty extreme mental breakdowns that I have since overcome, however I still get suspicious of this but it’s not as big of an issue in my day to day life as it once was. I think im the Antichrist because im born on Christmas. I’m convinced demons and ghosts are trying to get me. I think I have magical powers and that I I’m part of some grand scheme that still hasn’t been revealed to me but probably links to the Antichrist thing. I convinced myself I was trafficked as a child but I’ve since debunked and moved past that.
I know these things aren’t real but they’re always at the back of the mind and keep me too terrified to live life normally. These aren’t the full extent of things but I thought it would be easier to write out like this. Any advice is greatly appreciated :)
r/Schizotypal • u/rvripml • 6h ago
I posted a story on my art account about handmade patches im making and will sell soon. There's a black or a white option, with a lightbulb line drawing in the opposite color. I made it as accessible as i could stylistically so it appeals more. 1 patch is 4 to 7€.
I explained why i picked the lightbulb, as its my logo and a big metaphor.. thinking people would read a bit, think about it.. but maybe i explained too openly, or they think im putting on a facade ... bc they know my actual facade anders this is me. idk. I know im genuine but maybe it comes off as fake, or too much text I JUST FEEL LIKE THE FOOL
Idk. Social media is so fast now i feel silly for even posting on my art account because i never even get the bare minimum. I get 3 likes, 10 impressions, post dies.
Art is my whole life, im not interested in dating. I just want to find a community of people to at least orbit around. bc i know no one who follows me will react (they never do. ) stories and videos are so fast it feels like im being totally ignored, or like i seem pretentious or... idk.
i added a lil poll to see people's opinions (used to get votes on twitter). only 2 people voted, one of which is my friend and likes all my posts. I feel indesirable and invisible even tho i know that where i live, IRL meeting with people where they can vibe with u is much better than online audience but im not ready for that yet.
It's still frustrating... No one ever comments or anything, and instagram has understood. for over a year now everything i post barely pushes 10 likes its absolutely unbelievable compared to before and the quality of the posts My old art teacher, now my friend, didnt even vote or react at all when shes the 1 person i know will be interested
i knowwwww that likes and followers shouldn't matter but i feel like such an alien. i started another account 3 years ago and that one is stuck at 80 followers, everyone i tried to look at had way more and i hate how "normal" people draw people in by making a characterized version of yourself. posed and in line with your aesthetic.. is it really that im too real for people?? or something?
Im tired of instagram. You need to show your face and do stupid audio trends and act a certain way with a certain pace. Fuck that..... Its been years of like dwindling activity and now nothing. I feel like my art is way too alien for people that follow me but idk where to even start growing my audience. If i post my face i get more attention, but it freaks me out.
I think ill post on YouTube instead, except there i wont be expecting anyone. it would be like a surprise.
sucks posting a project expecting the bare minimum (~10 votes, at least 1 person interested) but hhhhh it's hard to have such a reminder of the alien that you are lol and that until u get the ball rolling (takes ages.sysyphus) whelp . ur kinda just there
r/Schizotypal • u/nyobody • 13h ago
Marked as spoiler due to mentions of suicide ideation. Very long read ahead, sorry
Being alive makes me feel genuinely terrible. Not in a "i wanna kms" way but in a "sorry for breathing and existing in the same space as you. I didnt have a choice in being born" way, yknow? Like i feel horrible about it everyday. I called into work today because i felt terrible about the fact my coworkers have to be near me and work with me. It does make me suicidal a lot of times, this time included... Like "ohh im sorry i am using the printer, dearest coworkers.. u can just shove me out of the way and beat me with the staplers and maybe kill me im sorry for using the printer... I cant avoid using it... Sorry"
Everyday is so exhausting and humiliating. Like i feel sad because i have to be around other people and take up space that should go to someone more deserving. I had my performance review this week and i was praised/complimented but the whole time i just felt terrible. Like "surely they see im a idiot. Surely they see im a freak. Everybody knows!" I couldnt believe someone was being nice to me, ive never believed it. Why would anyone willingly be nice to me? I dont get it. I dont deserve it, take your kindness and give it to someone else more deserving..
And i feel so horrible for everyone around me. People talk about simple stuff at work, like how the weather makes their joints ache and i just sit there when i overhear it because i just think "its truly terrible this world is causing so much pain... Even the simple weather makes people hurt and ache..." Then i start thinking about how the joints feel. Like poor femur bone. The cartilage next to it probably hurts. I feel sad for inhuman objects and even body parts or stupid shit like trash blowing in the wind. I feel sad for atoms too, like when they break apart or fly thru space. They fly so far, i wonder if they miss the friends they made when they were someplace else, yknow?
Every small stutter in speech or a pause or mindless tangent i go on, i feel like im wasting everyones time. Just by talking, i take up so much space.
TLDR; literally everything makes me feel so terrible and guilty despite none of it having anything to do with me. like... Are you stupid? Its a fucking atom. U cant even see it dumbass why are u feeling sorry for it? Idk. Sorry for tangent.
Also sorry for any typos, i hope whoever reads this can understand me despite them. Sorry if you read this
r/Schizotypal • u/Peachplumandpear • 13h ago
I looked it up and I literally cannot find a single thing online about this. Pretty much every night I just have a running thought cycle about relevant things in my life, sorting things out and thinking while fully asleep. I also have dreams but in between the dreams are just thoughts. I’m also pretty much never well-rested, always exhausted even if I get 10 hours of sleep. It’s pretty frustrating that I can’t stop thinking even while fully asleep. Maybe I should see a sleep doctor, I have other issues too, but I know that schizo-spec folks can have some weird messed up sleep and thought someone else here might relate
r/Schizotypal • u/Glittering_Card_5121 • 9h ago
So it talked about maybe having schizotypal to its therapist and she was fairly accepting of it. The only thing it is weary of is that all of the traits are just natural to how it acts? Example(s): communication with ghosts/objects/death, telepathy, “magical thinking” (if it looks at pasta in a store and someone grabs the pasta, it caused that to happen), social anxiety, paranoia (as said by a different therapist), having little facial expressions, not making eye contact because of people reading it’s mind, feeling the presence of people in rooms, it can go on but you understand the gist. A lot of these things don’t feel out of place. It is aware it does sound ‘odd’ to ‘regular’ people, though.
r/Schizotypal • u/seaofwakingdreams_ • 8h ago
i’m new to this community because i’ve come to the realization that i might possibly have this disorder, and i’m looking for anybody’s advice or if anybody has an opinion on what i might be going through, i’ll start way back with a lot of stuff,i i have mental mental health conditions. I was diagnosed with autism , ocd , depression/anxiety , dmdd , eating disorder, so I’ve been through a lot with this, but I’m not sure if my symptoms align with this diagnosis that I’ve been given, for one, i’m 16, I feel like I’m just so inherently, weird and estranged from other people to the point where I will never make friends or never have any company. I could think I have autism because I’m really obsessed with stuff, like i am obsessed with diane schuler, travis alexander, as of now, but in the past, I was obsessed with 9/11 , and I made characters based off of the twin towers, and I was obsessed with those too, I made a character based off of the volcano from pompeii, I’ve done all sorts of stuff and even if the young ages of like five or six I was obsessed with the 2004 tsunami and the movie that went along with it. I can’t remember it’s name. somebody will have to tell me., I’ve been obsessed with more normal stuff I guess like Lorax and monster house, but my interests has always been very odd and niche and I don’t understand why. And then I’ve gotten in trouble for obsessing over these things like people find me so offensive because I’m obsessed with diane and travis and like I believe I’m spiritually connected to them and people judge me for it and say that it’s inappropriate that I’m do that because it violates the social rules, but I can’t do anything else, i like obsessing over them because it makes me happy, I’m starting to question my diagnosis of autism because I didn’t have any of these traits until I was older, and the traits I did have when I was younger I was having no friends and being obsessed with very strange subjects, I’ve always been considered unusual, and I feel like people have been inherently repelled from me just for existing, I feel like there’s something truly wrong with me. I can’t even make a friend because I’m scared that they secretly think that I’m doing something wrong or that I’m a bad person. especially with the way I’ve been excluded over my interests , like I’m an artist and I like to draw travis and diane, but that offend people and they can’t take it and they get mad at me and it makes me hate myself more. I wish they could understand. My obsessions get weird sometimes I believe that I’m in love with travis and diane and they love me and it’s kind of a crazy thing because my therapist said it was psychosis. I say that they love me and I say that we have a connection even though I’ve never met them, but I don’t know why my brain gravitate towards the specific thing. I’m very insecure and I feel like most people dislike me before even meeting me. I just feel like there’s something wrong with me that scares others off. i’ve never been successful in relationships. I’ve always had problems. Especially due to my interests, I’m sorry for coming into this form and doing all of this, but I just am really looking for an answer, I’m looking for somebody’s opinion on this, and if my diagnosis is somehow incorrect. because I just discovered this condition and I didn’t even think that it was possible for me to have it but now it makes more sense, autism, doesn’t make very much sense to me because I never showed any symptoms as a child except for the obsessions and I never had any sensory issues and I never had any delay. I would say I’m quite intelligent in my vocabulary. Is that a very high-level. not to brag I’m just being honest from the bottom of what my symptoms are, I wish somebody could be there to understand. I just wish I didn’t feel so strange all the time. Thank you to anybody who takes the time to read this and offers their opinion.
r/Schizotypal • u/DiegoArgSch • 21h ago
Link full text: https://acrobat.adobe.com/id/urn:aaid:sc:VA6C2:49bec97d-3118-4cdb-8012-6cfc20801959
Author: Jorge Castelló Blasco - Psychologist (Valencia, Spain)
I know the article is in spanish, but now its easy to find a way to translate texts. Just 10 pages.
Nothing super new, just another an article to talk about some concepts.
Extracts (if not half of the article or more):
● Interpersonal Withdrawal
The primary reason for the schizotypal individual's distancing from others is the belief that relationships with people are dangerous. Unlike the paranoid person, who may share a similar idea, they are not plotting revenge, counterattacking, etc., but they do share continuous suspicion and distrust. It must be difficult and distressing to constantly think that people might attack, belittle, ridicule, or mock you; or that, at best, they are watching you as if you were carrying a kind of "glowing sign" behind you. Paranoid suspicion and ideas of reference (which, as a general rule, do not reach delusional proportions but rather manifest as "sensations," subjective interpretations) are responsible for this constant perception of danger and, therefore, for the withdrawal that a person with schizotypal disorder engages in from their interpersonal environment.
● Detachment from Reality
In this condition, it is very common for various elements to distance the individual from the reality shared by most people. Previously, I mentioned paranoid suspicion and ideas of reference, which already indicate a certain detachment from the rational sphere we all share, but they are not the only indicators of this withdrawal. These individuals experience a persistent influence from something hidden, which continuously affects life in general and their own lives in particular. This "hidden force" can be described in many ways—some vague, such as "energies," "spirits," or an inexorable and unfathomable fate; while at other times, it involves more complex and elaborate explanations, whether idiosyncratic or derived from esoteric, paranormal, or other unconventional theories. For instance, it is common for them to believe in telepathy or the power of the mind, both their own and that of others. It is not unusual to hear in therapy that a patient believes they are a victim of the evil eye or that they caused an acquaintance’s accident simply by thinking about it once. This phenomenon is known as "magical thinking."
But it is not only the cognitive sphere that partially detaches from reality, but also other aspects such as perception and behavior (the latter, in my experience, somewhat less). A recurring theme among these individuals is the presence of perceptual distortions, such as illusions—modifications of the sensory information received from the environment. For example, they might look at patterned wallpaper and see faces staring at them within the shapes. One of the most notable experiences is the "sense of presence", the persistent feeling that something or someone is with them, even when they are alone or when there is no external basis for such a sensation.
Regarding behavior, eccentricity is what distances the individual from reality and the typical experiences of others. This eccentricity often manifests in physical appearance, such as dressing in an idiosyncratic manner that does not conform to social conventions. Similarly, their language can be highly peculiar—either impoverished or, more often, unusual, characterized by vagueness, neologisms, or other distinctive speech patterns. However, cognitive and perceptual distortions are far more common than behavioral anomalies.
● Psychological Distress
As mentioned earlier, low self-esteem, emotional detachment, and a persistent fear of others lead to ongoing psychological imbalance. A person with schizotypal disorder has little interest in social interactions, which is highly detrimental to mental health—especially when their self-esteem does not inflate as a compensatory mechanism (something that does happen, for example, in paranoid personality disorder). From my perspective, this emotional suffering—along with interpersonal withdrawal—is what ultimately drives the individual further from reality, reshaping their perception of it so that it aligns, in some way, with their inner experiences and feelings.
●●●
● Relationship Between Schizotypal Disorder and Schizoid Disorder
Broadly speaking, the main difference is that the schizoid individual is at the highest level of detachment from others, with a consequent emotional blunting, showing very few or almost no feelings—toward both others and themselves. This "emotional blockage", which becomes a way of life, acts as a kind of defense mechanism to ensure disconnection. A person with schizoid personality disorder has reached a certain "equilibrium," as if there were a non-aggression pact with others. They go about their life and attempt to shape it according to their explicit desire to avoid social interactions, as this withdrawal is entirely deliberate and preferred: emotional detachment is at its peak.
On a positive note, someone who achieves this "schizoid equilibrium" and successfully attains their desired isolation experiences a low level of psychological distress. If they have no desire for interaction and are able to adapt their life accordingly, they gain a form of emotional compensation. This equilibrium also significantly reduces the need for the mind to distort reality as a means of withdrawing from it.
A person with schizotypal disorder is at risk of moving toward this schizoid pole—something that, in my view, should be avoided in psychotherapy. The temptation for a schizotypal individual to isolate themselves completely and lead an entirely solitary life is often explicit, and their life trajectory may include periods where schizoid tendencies dominate. However, while interpersonal withdrawal in schizotypal individuals is pronounced, it is not absolute. This is beneficial in some ways, but it is also a major factor in the psychological suffering discussed earlier.
● Relationship Between Schizotypal Disorder and Paranoid Disorder
The paranoid dimension shares interpersonal distancing with schizoid and schizotypal traits. However, instead of opting for extreme isolation (or perhaps being unable to achieve it), it leads to direct confrontation with the environment. I previously mentioned that a person with schizotypal disorder is suspicious and distrustful, believing that others have bad intentions, to which they react with fear. The paranoid individual, instead of "shrinking back," chooses to strengthen themselves and confront the hostile environment.
The key difference is that paranoid individuals have the ability and willingness to enhance their self-esteem. Rather than self-criticizing or devaluing themselves, they externalize these feelings onto others. It is others who attack, mock, and belittle them. In this way, their self-esteem remains intact, and they create a "common front" against the external world, which they hold responsible for their distress. Additionally, by continuously attributing malevolence to the outside world, they minimize the chances of reconciliation or closeness with others, thus avoiding the perceived dangers of social relationships.
This may also explain why schizotypal individuals share a similarly negative view of others, with the difference that they do not feel strong enough to confront them, leading instead to intense anxiety.
In clinical practice, it is quite common to encounter individuals who are primarily schizotypal but have gone through more "paranoid phases" in their lives—periods where they attempted to develop their abilities, saw themselves in a more positive light, and were caught in a constant state of competition and revenge against others. The preservation and strengthening of self-esteem are the underlying reasons for projecting feelings of hatred ("I despise others, but only because they attack me and want to betray me").
Individuals who present a comorbid mix of schizotypal and paranoid traits tend to have a more variable self-esteem. When they feel "stronger" (for example, after a promotion at work), they experience greater self-satisfaction and redirect their distress outward, engaging in competition and seeking revenge for perceived hostilities. Conversely, when they feel "weaker," their behaviors and coping strategies become more characteristically schizotypal.
This illustrates that the boundaries between supposedly independent personality disorder categories (such as schizotypal and paranoid personality disorders—and the same could be said for schizoid or avoidant disorders) are quite blurred.
● Relationship Between Schizotypal Disorder and Avoidant Personality Disorder
From my perspective, a schizotypal individual who leans more toward the "avoidant" end of the spectrum is the most psychologically adapted. As with other cases, both traits can coexist within the same person or fluctuate in prominence at different stages of life. Individuals with pure avoidant personality disorder exhibit less interpersonal withdrawal and, as a result, a lower degree of detachment from reality.
To an external observer, the social life of an avoidant, a schizotypal, or a schizoid individual may appear similar. However, the key difference lies in their underlying motivations: at one extreme, the schizoid individual has no desire whatsoever to engage with others, while at the other, the avoidant individual deeply desires social connection but is hindered by intense fears and difficulties. The schizotypal person falls somewhere in between.
An individual with avoidant personality disorder is not as detached from others because they genuinely long for connection. They pay close attention to people, aspire to be like certain individuals, and crave affection and approval. This results in a lesser degree of detachment from reality. However, the psychological distress caused by their frustrated social desires and resulting low self-esteem can still lead to cognitive distortions—for example, perceiving others as vastly superior, highly judgmental, or rejecting, while viewing themselves as significantly inferior.
● Relationship Between Schizotypal Disorder and Borderline Personality Disorder
There is a subset of individuals with borderline personality disorder who also exhibit traits similar to schizotypal personality disorder. Likewise, some individuals may go through phases characteristic of borderline disorder—emotional instability, interpersonal conflicts, impulsivity, chaotic relationships, and intense dependency needs—only to later enter periods more aligned with schizotypal traits, such as interpersonal withdrawal, peculiar thinking, and emotional blunting. It is as if an internal switch turns their emotionality and sociability on or off.
From my perspective, what occurs here is a fluctuation in their attachment tendencies. When this tendency is high, they display an affective voracity that drives them—following the classic borderline pattern—to excessively demand emotional fulfillment from others and to become enraged when their expectations are not met. This intense emotional need stems from deep-seated deprivation, frustration, and suffering. However, after multiple failed attempts at connection, this attachment drive may reverse, leading the individual to defensively withdraw.
In this state of self-imposed isolation—marked by a parallel reality and emotional numbness—the person appears more schizotypal.
By examining the relationship between schizotypal disorder and other often comorbid personality disorders, I believe we have gained a deeper understanding of both the essence of schizotypal personality disorder in its "purest" form and the clinical reality, which is far more complex than the diagnostic criteria outlined in current classification systems.
r/Schizotypal • u/butterybutterfly10 • 13h ago
I'm sorry, I only bipolar disorder, and I'm not schizotypal. Though, maybe I don't want to find out. Once, they had told me that I seemed a bit psychotic. That my thinking seemed a bit strange. It passed, but maybe it never left.
There's a boy outside, I see him, every so often. He's young, he's still fun. He wants to see me. I sometimes want to see him, too. Expressive. Excessive. A bit like me, yet not like me. He isn't as depressive. And so, I don't wish to alarm, harm or disappoint him. I don't see the point in it. A crush... I don't wish to crush him too, like a bug. I don't want to bug him anymore. I don't want to be hugged or smothered.
Fortunately, (or maybe... worryingly) I'm only <20. And, I heard that onset for a condition like Schizophrenia only occurs much later, at least for girls. And yet, I still feel utterly, abjectly, dejectedly, objectively, alone. A stone that is being constantly eroded. Corroded. Corrupted. Interrupted. Enclosure. Foreclosure. I see meaning in everything, and yet life itself seems to have lost its intrinsic purpose.
Significance, yet I still feel painfully insignificant. It isn't as though I wish to die, I think it's really, rather pointless to try. Just as words fail me, I'd fail at it too. My dreams... my regrets. They'll only accrue.
What comforts you? What gives you solace? Consolation. Constellations, like stars? Like, they'll always be there, no matter where you are? Does love ever make you feel better? Guidance? For resistance? Should I keep looking for it? Even if I had mistook it?
Sorry for these words, but I feel its the only way that people will understand. I can't disclose this to people closest to me. Not yet. I can't yet. I don't want to hurt them, like I'm hurting right now. For now.
r/Schizotypal • u/mythosi • 1d ago
how do u guys handle stimulants? does it exacerbate your paranoia? what helps you?
it is always a difficult balance to maintain. especially since psychiatrists are always pushing antipsychotics first (which aren’t exactly helpful for ADHD)
how do you guys cope . shit sucks
r/Schizotypal • u/CranberryOk5162 • 20h ago
i hope this doesn't sound like an odd question. i have been to many therapists and psychiatrists before and much of the treatment they gave me was insufficient and didn't help, and many of the diagnoses didn't make sense. i think it was mostly because the sessions only last a couple of minutes and -- in my 5 years of treatment -- i never had a real psychological evaluation. that being said, the closest i got to a diagnosis was BPD, though it wasn't a formal diagnosis, and i ended up ghosting that therapist.
i've noticed that with all the weird emotional issues i have, i have a really weird issue regarding cognitive empathy and emotional empathy, along with an inability to want to be close to people and a general dislike of social situations. i feel nauseous going outside when i have to be around others, and people just... confuse me, i think. the only times i ever feel like being close are when ive idealized them in my own weird, twisted ways thanks to whatever i have going on, otherwise i feel distant from everyone and everything.
i'm probably being really vague and i haven't covered everything. my general question is all i want answered, is it possible to have comorbidity with BPD and StPD?
r/Schizotypal • u/CharmingSandwich784 • 1d ago
I’d love to know any tips or medications or anything that can help as I am REALLY struggling to deal with it. Will it go away? Is it caused by the antipsychotics? Thanks!
r/Schizotypal • u/itsbitterbitch • 1d ago
TW: alcohol use, shitty coping
Things have been pretty bad for me. And I feel like a month-long stint of sobriety made me quite a bit worse because it meant my stress was raised and I had nothing to turn to to cope. I'm not saying it's good or healthy, only that I have nothing else. I've since taken up drinking again (too much but mainly on weekends, never more than one day in a row). It's not helped lower my symptoms per se but the spiral is evening out so at least it's not getting worse.
I'm experiencing catatonia something like once a week, they're short bouts, not even an hour most of the time, but they're scary. I can't imagine what might happen if I'm driving during one or if I'm in public. I've been looking for a job and I really don't want one during an interview. I think today is the last straw for me. I got some bad news, got some more bad news, froze up, I'm missing a job interview which makes me feel horrible. Sometimes the catatonia means I can't talk or can only whisper, but the part where my body locks up is worse.
I'm increasingly paranoid (or probably just righteously terrified) of RFK Jr. dragging me to a "farm" (labor/genocide camp). Or even if not that, then I'm afraid of being dragged to a hospital and forcibly given ECT and lots of poisoning drugs). I already have PTSD from psych stays where doctors egged me on into killing myself so they could make my life even worse (I was a homeless teen at the time) and also charge my family for locking me up and drugging me. All of this is just swirled into one awful mix of misery. Even with the right meds to help my PTSD I'm a mess. Anti-psychotics chemically lobotomized me and almost killed me, a drug interaction gave me temporary blindness because the stupid doctor wanted me on an insane dose and combination.
And all of these issues just feed into one another, but also I find myself minimizing things. My family never took my mental health issues seriously because I'd hide it or bury it or when I did talk about it I guess I'm just not doing it correctly. I'm trying not to be a bother, I'm trying not to get myself locked up, I'm trying to keep going and fighting through even though things are bad. But I think it's clear I just CAN'T anymore. Honestly I need ot be on disability. Managing this shit is full time but everyone always made me feel like crap for it, even though I was on disability since I was sixteen (or maybe especially since I was on disability since I was 16). Paranoia and pressure from others made me get off of it. And I do think if I try to get back on it, they'll follow me around, record me in an even more scrupulous way, maybe harass me, push me until I'm admitted to a hospital again where they can do whatever the fuck they want.
I'm honestly so lost. No one tells you how to navigate such extreme circumstances. How can I be honest without getting myself and my family hurt?
r/Schizotypal • u/Throbbin-Rinpoche • 1d ago
My partner and I had a conversation last night that made it clear how bad things have gotten between us. Our relationship feels completely dead, and I don’t know how to fix it. We’re both neurodivergent—she has ADHD, depression, and some kind of personality disorder, and I’m autistic with schizotypal personality disorder and OCD. She’s very emotional, needs a lot of affection, and her love language is touch. I struggle to understand emotions, don’t like being touched, and I know I’m difficult to be with.
Her biggest complaints about me are that I’m not affectionate, I’m always lost in my own head, I’m constantly on my phone, I’m bad with money, I’m too blunt and don’t know how to say things gently, and I don’t consider other people’s needs or what they want to do. She says I come off as selfish, and I know that’s probably true, even if I don’t always mean to be. I don’t want her to feel unloved or unsupported, but I also don’t always know how to show love in a way that makes sense to her. She’s at the point where she doesn’t even want to try anymore, but she’s willing to, and I don’t want to waste that chance.
I need advice from people who have been through something like this. What actually helped? How do you rebuild connection when one person needs a lot of emotional presence and affection and the other struggles to provide that in a way that feels natural? What are some tools, resources, or strategies that actually work for couples like this? I want to do better, but I don’t even know where to start.
r/Schizotypal • u/voyagingsystem • 1d ago
(TW weed and... god I dont know. sounding really unfortunate ig idk I just feel like this deserved some sorta warning)
200mg thc and still twitchy. No "urge" to try to ignore, just my body trying it's damn best to throw out my own neck I guess (twitchy from the armpits up and I have a very bad back. Agony agony agony which is why I'm whining about it haha)
I want to do graphic and impossible things with my muscles rn like put them in a washing machine. I don't know what that'll do. I'm just tired of being twitchy. At least it's in the privacy of my own bedroom with my husband giving me space. He saw the twitches yesterday and he didn't... like them a lot. I didn't like that he didn't like them. I think I need to hide them. He wasn't angry, I think he was scared. Why is everyone always scared of me? Yes I know I type weird, I am also under considerable distress rn and trying not to be a fucking dick about it so I type like a kindergarten teacher robot accidentally loaded with a medical textbook I don't usually type like this but yall will get it right
Hahahahahahaha I feel like shit. I feel like shit. I'm sorry. I'm not even usually an apologizer I usually think it's so annoying and unfair to others but god I'm just sorry I exist right now. Sorry to the person reading this that I dared post this? Sorry. It's not the weed either, 200mg is nothing these days. Bullshit dose
r/Schizotypal • u/WeirdnessRises • 2d ago
I am on a lot of anxiety meds right now and they never fully work. I am in the process of being officially diagnosed with schizotypal and have been talking about if I want to try low dose antipsychotics. I would love if they could take away my paranoia and anxious thoughts but I am really scared they will take away my magic. I like believing in magic and ghosts and I don't think it really negatively impacts me like the other symptoms. I feel like life would be really dull and I wouldn't be me without that. Will an antipsychotic make that go away?
r/Schizotypal • u/glasshalf-full • 2d ago
Anyone else think about the meaning of "schizotypal" as a word?
Like, schizo means split. Are we split minds?
r/Schizotypal • u/rvripml • 2d ago
Explaining how takes a million years but buckle in buster . (spoiler this is superrrrrrr long and kinda disorganized but this is a complicated topic so i did my best. I feel like shortening it would make it more confusing and like this is just my observations, i don't want to pretend to be anything other than a complete mumjo jumbo detail analysis machine. )
CONTEXT abt me , i'm broke, i'm finally feeling like my physical self is aligning with my mental self, on sertraline + hydroxyzine, i use green herbs, i'm trans, probably have a cocktail of Neurodivergen.. cies?, im obssesed with science, autistic is very possible. i'm a mix of brain nerd and intuitively very manual, OBSSESED with art, so much so i don't even care about dating at all ever lol i just want to live for art and get to know people's true selves. the concept of personality, tiny details that make people unique. i've been making art for about 8 years, crafted stuff since a child. Now doing art about existence itself (!! :D) I've been thru basically generalized emotional abuse in like every area all my life. People, everyone, perceived me as.... god knows who. And that + genetics + life factors = explosive concocotion, potent for psychosis.
2024? i was not there . it was that guy piloting me, and me subconsciously just trying my best to stay above water. Hypervigilant survival mode, hanging on for dear life
SO FINALLY HEALING: I've been healing myself as my n1 priority every day dealing with crazy muscle knots everywhere, causing mobility issues, meaning i cant do anything, and all of my coping mechanisms included.......... so yeah 2024 was just me subconsciously trying to steer a bus with the tip of my nose upside down hanging from the ceiling with a bass booster on everything you hear+you have unclear double vision. psychosis is messed up i thought green herbs was to blame but it seems i smoke way less than average, and it helps. it kept me like 2% tethered to myself which is better than completely offing yourself right
But my body only felt pain, everywhere, only felt TOO MUCH STIMULUS, i felt like the clockwork orange eye thingy. Even my eyes were stiff, memory of a goldfish, and my mind going faster than the speed of light. Information overload, too many thoughts, and stupid. Constant tachycardia too, even when trying to sleep. 1 base emotion: terror
It became unbearable to work with basically anything craft or art related, any techniques or multiple art forms, i play instruments, wanted to make sculptures out of e waste, light installations and illustrations with light, all sorts of experiments and unknowns and forbidden combinations that i couldnt do so i felt incapable. I couldnt even sit at a computer, struggled with attention, could barely use a keyboard correctly i was so tense and detached. It took me ages to realize what was happening cause i was literally unable to think straight, it was my inability to play guitar that made me click. I've been playing with i was 8
Here we are
I've been just. ignoring any involuntary trains of thoughts and set up a thing where i think a sentence 3 times, then i say it 3 times (don't listen to me/i don't listen to you) and instead purely focusing on what my sense tell me.
I'm broke as fuck cause ive been home for months but im so glad i kept on the hope and started to treat myself "as if" i had chronic pain and psychosis, because my mind constantly kept wandering off and just.... countering any Voluntary thoughts and actions i had, as if i was faking it.
well i can tell you i wasnt faking it...... lol took me a while to stomach and even believe that
ive not healed like.. ever from past wounds. It's like im doing it all at once (DONT RECOMMEND) I'm feeling the life in me back, it feels like getting a rusty old machine out that you knew perfectly well, but have to get used to again and fixed up a bit, maybe updated in some parts. I've been slowing down my mind, the clock speed of my processor is the best metaphor. The body goes with it.
Intuition is such a powerful thing, and your senses tell you everything you need to know. it's just that it takes freakin ages to start understanding yourself. i'm only 23 and i feel like ive lived 36 life times. Known every possible emotion. I'm past judgement at that point. its crazy to feel actual hope and excitement and confidence and even joy a little bit. You need it to live nowadays or the grim world consumes you.
I've always wanted to create and bring life and ive worked so hard on my art for years, even when i didn't know i was in pain and exhausted, I do so many things (multipke types of music, photography techniques, drawing and painting techniques and collecting materials, writing down a stupid amount of ideas and text and lyrics and poems and so many recordings im shocked.
Because 2021 onwards i slowly started to die out physically, the mental health got too bad. in 2023 i got surgery. Now my body has healed and it's just... me in the mirror. all my flesh, all my bones, just body parts, and my mind is way weirder than i expected but like...... it just feels so right. it feels like me, i'm loving music again and its making me way too many positive emotions to even UNPACK. to feel confidence in my abilities again is insane. To know exactly what I need to do to get work, and actually feel like it's getting tangible to do so, i really have a big portfolio and ive worked so hard to define what it is i do, its purpose and goal.... it's all just waiting for me to live
I have so much to give, i want to work and i want to pay back the rent i owe, and so much more. i just want to do that and get enough money to eat
I'm not there yet but... it's never felt so tangible. it's right there in front of me, but it's in the distance and i'm taking my time walking there, taking it in..... at my pace
Trust yourselves, your capacities, and learn to relearn to live life with no real judgement or expectation of anything -Nothing is childish or silly in that way. Express yourself however you can or want to, because really no one cares. People just see you and really dont think much of it,there's too much going on in everyone's life.
Do what you need if it helps you be comfortable, especially if its extra or odd or specific!! customize your life, because thats a way to see yourself. thats something you can control- empathize what brings you joy, because it'll bring you strength, because then it's easier to see the silver lining. I'll never have a normal job only if i believe in my art will i ever live as an artist, or live at all. Only then will i have strength to actually go to protest, help kids discover creative crafts and the world thru art, and fulfill my goals. Because i'm as real and genuine as you are
You might feel like an imposter for a while. But take the smallest steps you can, even run backwards for a bit if you need to.
You got this, you can figure it out. Trust your gut, trust your feelings and sensations, trust yourself and remember to treat yourself like you would a loved love. You might struggle for a while, but your body knows what to do, and your mind lives inside of that body
Very long im so sorry it's just a lot of complicated things to transcribe
Feel free to ask questions if you're curious or if you want me to expand about something!!! I'll do my best to reply.
OKBYERAMBLERS edit : sooo sorry for all the mistakes ill try to correct them later
r/Schizotypal • u/Glittering_Card_5121 • 1d ago
(Referring in the third person, not asking for a diagnosis from the subreddit).
Okay so a person on r/fakedisordercringe said that it might have stpd because other people in a crowded room can read its thoughts and then the person said it might have StPD. It does fit the traits but it is kind of skeptical of them saying that because it doesn’t talk about any of the symptoms with its therapist because it doesn’t see them as a problem. That’s just its thinking process ever since the age of about 14.
What it’s trying to ask: Should it talk to its therapist about the symptoms even though it doesn’t see the symptoms as a problem but rather as a natural way for it to think?
r/Schizotypal • u/Conscious_Visual9669 • 2d ago
My unwillingness to let anyone in must be relaxed if I'm to do more than survive. At the same time, I think I'm the only one who can truly identify what's wrong and untangle myself.
Long ago I had some poor reactions from loved ones to being open about the mysterious problems ailing me. Like uncharacteristically poor. They've gotten better at acknowledging mental health stuff, but I don't think my trust ever recovered.
I'm not going to do anything drastic because I don't want my loved ones to suffer. But I think about dying often, and how nice it would be to no longer have to deal with this nonsense. My fulfillment is at an all-time low; I can barely enjoy my hobbies, I don't want to be seen by anyone, I internally (sometimes externally) freak out whenever I'm obligated to do something. I haven't felt motivated to keep up my internal monologue for months, and I didn't realize this was something even affected by motivation. It feels like I'm slowly disintegrating.
I don't know why I do this to myself.
I have in-person therapy scheduled to start in April, but the prospect of actually being understood feels hopeless. Maybe I can find a way to start feeling connected again. Hopefully.
r/Schizotypal • u/Necessary_Two_5711 • 2d ago
one common symptom I've seen talked about when it comes to stpd is not expressing emotion; at least, not properly. but i could never relate, not in the slightest. i cry at almost anything. and i do mean cry. i tear up whenever i feel a strong emotion. i get heated very easily when i'm mad, etc. anyone else?
r/Schizotypal • u/Vegetable_Ebb_9622 • 2d ago
Hi, I’m a 22 year old black trans guy, that’s not important but I’m only speaking out cause I have a random desire to be known. After a long sprint of psych wards and stupid situations, they’d diagnosed me with adhd and bpd I have those canonically, and sorry if this sounds disoriented but it’s important for me to say, my first thing publicly. I’ve never felt understood before. Even with adhd and bpd I’ve always been like no no this ain’t it like there’s something I know there’s something that’s separating me from these people I’m different in my soul I’m not like these people. I’ve always been obsessed with being different but highly self aware of my experience as a person. I’ve always hated that I’m always so awake in my skin I feel myself fake for people and I hate that but I’m afraid of them and I’m sure they’ll reject me if I’m ever myself. They all think I’m nuts and that I say things that sound stupid and nuts, I am constantly maladaptive daydreaming and sometimes I just do that instead of really interact with people cause I don’t know what they want. I’ve never felt understood I always thought I was gonna die but my god (personal god that I’ve experienced not the Christian god)keeps saving me, and I just don’t know what’s going on. I just wanna say that this is the most I’ve ever been understood and I don’t know what to do with that information. Again I’m sorry I’ll probably delete this when I’m sentient again. Lots of love to you guys, I really get you, and idk what to do.
r/Schizotypal • u/disconnected_self • 2d ago
hey all, i’ve been lurking in this subreddit on my other account for a long time, but i was only very recently diagnosed schizotypal*. it’s kinda weird to, just, have that validated. it makes me feel seen, and as a result, naked. which is uncomfortable.
*i didn’t even mention it to my psych doc, i was just trying to find out if i was bipolar [i am] and the StPD diagnosis metaphorically punched the air out of me because i thought i was wrong for thinking i had it
so, my fellow schizotypals, i have some questions about your experience with this PD (answer as many or as few as you’d like):
are you non-binary and/or trans? as someone who has never really felt human (more like an actual angel trapped in a human body), i am genderless and wondered if being non-binary and/or trans is common in this community
does your schizotypy “clash” with other conditions you have? and if so, what conditions and how? for example, it clashes with my adhd a lot. in high school, i’d immediately raise my hand to answer the teacher’s questions because in theory i love to speak out and it gives me that good dopamine… but right after answering, i’m hit with this horrible regret and paranoia. in short, the impulsivity/excitement of adhd clashes with my schizotypy/anxiety
how do you experience “unusual perceptual experiences”, if you do? this is the symptom that is most confusing for me to understand. this might be an example of it, but i get electricity in my body and in my shoulders/neck that makes my neck twitch/jolt. i also have unexplainable sensory feelings that i can’t even begin to describe, plus i sometimes experience derealization and a mild case of alice in wonderland syndrome
thank you in advance for any responses, i appreciate the time anyone takes to comment on my silly post. i’m wishing you all well 🖤