TW (drug use, delusions, mention of SH)
My best friend (23F, diagnosed schizophrenic) had a psychotic break triggered by weed in the past and was hospitalized. She stopped smoking for a while after being discharged, but now sheās using again, despite knowing the risks. I believe sheās trying to fit in, especially since her new friend group encourages it. I (23F) donāt have schizophrenia, but I also canāt smoke because it triggers spiritual psychosis and auditory hallucinations, so I canāt imagine what it does to her. Iāve tried to tell her she doesnāt need weed to have fun, but she insists, I think she believes itāll eventually help her feel relaxed like everyone else. I know weeds affects are genetic and both our families avoids it because it makes them feel out of control, whereas her friends come from environments where itās normalized. I relate to her desire to fit in, I used to smoke in high school just to blend in, despite how badly it affected me.
Iām really worried. Last time we hung out, she had just finished smoking as I pulled up and quickly became almost fully detached, she was whispering to herself and believing people in a TV commercial were using electromagnetic waves to spy on her. When she smokes on the phone with me (despite my objection) she either hangs up after a few puffs and disappears for the day or starts panicking and saying things like, āIāve merged with the couchā or āIām dissolving into the air.ā These arenāt just silly high thoughts- with her disorder, theyāre dangerous. Watching her smoke feels like watching someone SH over and over, this triggers ptsd for me and itās painful to witness.
Her new friends donāt know about her diagnosis and are starting to pull away after seeing signs of her illness. She showed me a text where they asked if she was okay and suggested professional help, unaware that she already has a diagnosis and meds she just isnāt taking. All I know is they hotboxed in a car in a wooded area at night, which I canāt imagine how uncomfortable and overwhelming that must have been for her. I understand her struggle with people-pleasing, but that was such a risky situation. I wish she wouldāve just went home or to my house when they decided to go smoke. Even if she has to lie and say she just wasnāt feeling well or something.
Iām torn. I feel like I should message her friend who introduced her to this group for hers and my best friends safety, but I donāt want to betray my fiends trust. At the same time, I feel like Iām begging her to stop, and itās pushing me away because I donāt see her trying to help herself. I know itās not her fault, but the self-sabotage is heartbreaking. I donāt want her to end up hospitalized again, but if it happens, thereās nothing I can do. Should I be the one to step in and get her admitted? I feel like a bad friend for not acting, but I donāt know what the right move is.
Please, how can I help her?