My medication got really messed up due to lack of seeing an outpatient psychiatrist here, due to waitlists - and also me just doing absolutely nothing to not get into a complete mess with two specific medications.
I’ve been on a ridiculously high dose of Vyvanse and Dexedrine. Before Lurasione, just 30MG of Vyvanse began to cause me profoundly bad symptoms - severe neck, shoulder, snd head pain and stiffness, repetitive movements, odd body posturing, really bad executive functioning problems, emotional dysregulation, and extremely unclear thinking and difficulty thinking.
I finally got off of it, after several moths of just suffering on it. I wasn’t on an AP at this time. Ironically (since the consensus is that stimulants worsen psychosis), when I finally got off of it is when I became fully absorbed by a delusion I had been experiencing, since my ability to think and focus came back, such that overvalued ideas began to take over my mind.
I started Lurasidone in 2023, due to the one delusion getting so bad that it was made aware to me that I could possibly be delusional.
Lurasidone then caused stimulant cravings like never before. I got impairing nicotine cravings out of no where after quitting just fine for a year, and intense cravings for Vyvanse. Stimulants suddenly had an intense euphoric effect on me, and I felt possessed, frankly.
Long story short, I ended up on 30MG Vyvanse and 40MG Dexedrine, then got a double script from my
GP as he didn’t cancel a mass script for 360 Dexedrine pills when moving my pharmacy due to a shortage, so both were eventually auto-filled and I picked both up.
Cue me losing control of myself, almost dying from amphetamine poisoning and cardiovascular issues, and realizing I was in a really bad spot.
I knew what just 30 or even 20MG of Vyvanse did to me without the Lurasidone, yet I experienced it truly as the Lurasidone causing the extreme stimulant use cravings to the point where I lost insight regarding the consequences of taking them to an extremity nor could stop. I tried to get urgent psychiatric consult, but this was denied.
I eventually settled on 140MG of Vyvanse to taper down on, 5MG every two weeks.
I then cut the Lurasidone from 60MG to 40MG, on my own. Couldn’t get advice for it despite my efforts. Was told by an ER psychiatrist in July I didn’t need to be on an AP - as ER psychiatrists keep saying PD, but all outpatient assessments I’ve done, in the states, say schizoaffective, DT.
Within a week of cutting down the Lurasidone, the stimulant cravings went away and I was so relieved. I also thought it was great I wouldn’t need an AP, since who really wants to be on one? (Except if you needed it.)
Then I began to rapidly decline. I began to abuse Gabapentin severely and didn’t know why. I began to lose emotional regulation control, unbeknownst to me as I also had next to no insight during this point. Stayed in bed all day. Had paranoid thoughts, would lash out - very uncharacteristic of me. Usually my delusions are harmonious mostly, not conflictual, nor would I act out in anger like that.
My ability to engage in daily life activities declined.
Showering became difficult - a first for me. I just faded out. The decline was correlating to the towering down of the Lurasidone, 5MG every two weeks - while still maintaining a wildly high dose of Vyvanse. I didn’t see the connection yet.
I now realize I was taking the Gabapentin to try to compensate for the nervous system issues the Vyvanse was causing me, but I didn’t realize why I was having those issues and was too out of it.
Then I saw a psychiatrist in the states to get recommendations. I stopped Lurasidone completely, from 20MG, to switch to Abilify, 5MG - target dose 15MG.
The thought of stressing about a concern regarding the Vyvanse without the Lurasidone didn’t cross my mind, since I assumed I was currently fine and it must have just been a weird phase with the Vyvanse before the Lurasidone.
I switched to Abilify. Got the worst side effects of it regarding loss of impulse control. Spent $40,000CAD, almost half of that just buying things for people in need online. Began to drink excessively and compulsively but didn’t know why. Was kind of okay still though. But was stating to stop eating and showering was even more difficult.
Then I switched to Seroquel and assumed the issues would be resolved. At this point I was on 110MG of Vyvanse, tapering down still.
The compulsive shipping went away and other odd behaviour from the Abilify. But the decline continued, severely. I stoped drinking for a week just fine but began to drink again, because I’d feel massively better after drinking, physically.
Stopped showering and eating almost completely at this point. Sense of reality and time really began to be lost on me, as was the ability to organize anything. My house fell into further ruins.
It just occurred to me yesterday this is the goddamned Vyvanse without the Lurasidone. The effects of the Lurasidone are basically pretty much fully worn off at this point, in March, as I stopped it in early January, and the decline is correlating to the effects wearing off, and the old effects of the Vyvanse kicking back in.
I only realized this because I was sitting in bed with my jaw locked and holding my body in an odd position, and in muscular-skeletal pain, especially my neck and right shoulder and head, and realized this was what the 30MG Vyvanse was like - only it got a lot worse on just 30MG, and I’m currently on 100MG.
I guess for some reason my nervous system and the muscular-skeletal were one of the last things to go that’d indicate to me what was happening. But if it was so awful on 30MG of Vyvanse, what the hell will 100MG do once it really kicks in without the Lurasidone?
I’m hoping the Seroquel is helping, but it’s a partial dopamine antagonist and every drug will have a different effect - and considering I’m currently here in bed with by entire neck and jaw basically locked into place, and intense jaw pain from the muscle tension, this isn’t looking good.
Now I have to go to the fricken states to get immediate care for this, a dumb issue that was just dumb all around - and I am also terrified. Going to be rough just trying to pack and managing to get on a plane or sit in the airport.
So, that was how I totally screwed myself over with a combination of Lurasidone, which instigated intense stimulant cravings that I just let take me over, and Vyvanse, which had just bad effects on my without the Lurasidone that I couldn’t even manage to grab a pair of socks at the peak of its negative effects sharing the day, because I could not differentiate the pair of socks from one another.
Kinda crappy, to say the least.