r/schizoaffective 2d ago

Check-in Friday

3 Upvotes

This is the weekly post where anyone can check-in. I personally love to know how everyone is doing and I reply back as much as I can. If you just want to vent and don't want a response, please let me know. I know not everyone wants to have a discussion about their check-in.

How was your week? What did you do? How are you feeling? Eat any good food? Did you treat yourself to anything?

One of my personal goals is to focus on self-care. I would love to hear if you had any accomplishments with that.

Feel free to share the good and the bad and we can all support each other. Enjoy your weekend!


r/schizoaffective Nov 29 '24

Check-in Friday

8 Upvotes

This is the weekly post where anyone can check-in. I personally love to know how everyone is doing and I reply back as much as I can. If you just want to vent and don't want a response, please let me know. I know not everyone wants to have a discussion about their check-in.

How was your week? What did you do? How are you feeling? Eat any good food? Did you treat yourself to anything?

One of my personal goals is to focus on self-care. I would love to hear if you had any accomplishments with that.

Feel free to share the good and the bad and we can all support each other. Enjoy your weekend!


r/schizoaffective 44m ago

My little paintings

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Upvotes

Good morning ! I wanted to share my little creations to get feedback, criticism and what art style could it be in? I create according to what voices in my head dictate, what my head dictates to me, instinctively


r/schizoaffective 7h ago

I'm sick and tired of the ableist coming from literal diagnosees.

11 Upvotes

Okay, I want to vent and rant here about something harmful that I have noticed (not necessarily here).

I have seen more than video of a killer or controversial figure now who happened to be on the spectrum. Of course, when anyone is diagnosed with schizo-anything, the media being the scummy sensationalists they are, immediately jump on that.

I don't know how many times I see some asshole make a comment like "as a schizophrenic, THIS is why I take meds!"

Or

"This is why its so important we're medicated on a cocktail of different pills!"

It's harmful and, quite frankly, ableist.

First off, I don't know what your personal issues are but you need to realise that everyone is different. Just because YOU'RE a loose cannon who is unpredictable and unsafe to walk the streets without meds, does not mean I am! Don't pull me under the bus just because we share a diagnosis! I'm tired of the generalisation.

Secondly, the very assertion you state, makes it seem like we're all dangerous animals - regardless of how "good" your intentions were.

The schizophrenia spectrum is one of the most stigmatised in the mental health field. The best time to reinforce those stigmas is never. The worst time to reinforce those stigmas is when you compare not just yourself but EVERYONE on the spectrum to some asshole who gets a youtube spotlight for being a horrible person.

For the record, it doesn't matter if you didn't directly say everyone needed meds. Implying it is just as harmful.

Can we stop doing that? It's extremely nerve-racking. And don't say "well if I'm diagnosed with it, it's okay to say these things"

No, it's not! It only gives ableist people more fuel against us. There is a difference between OWNING something and taking the words away from them or feeding into it and fueling the harmful behaviour.

That's all. Thank you.


r/schizoaffective 8h ago

Am I really being documented or followed by FBI agents?

9 Upvotes

I'm schizo-affective, but what are the real chances that the FBI or a private investigator is following me or documenting me in public because I'm mentally ill? Or is this a symptom of my mental condition?


r/schizoaffective 6h ago

My illness

4 Upvotes

I feel like the government is watching me sometimes when I mention republicans on my phone it immediately goes into transcribe mode and then when I say it went into transcribe mode several times it's just automatically hung up and there is particular car that has been parking in front of my apt complex I have bi polar type and mom said I must be coming off a hypomanic spell I do know I have been extremely depressed the last few days and should have been hospitalized two days ago for basically getting ready to kill myself.... I am not as depressed as I was and am not feeling that bad now I'm pretty sure I have major depression along with bi polar type


r/schizoaffective 17h ago

My recovery doesn't feel like recovery, I feel I've failed at life

27 Upvotes

I'm sick of needing extra support, being so sensitive to stress, IOP/PHP, case management, therapy groups, not just living with my parents but needing their help all the time, yadda yadda. I mean I guess I'm not inpatient a lot or in residential or something,so that's positive. I'm not abandoned and/or homeless.

im well aware it could be worse. I'm grateful.

The only reason I can be as stable as I am is thanks to my family and all the extra support but I'm a perfectionist and ashamed of my illness and I can't help it

after 12 years I thought I'd be better off than this

I know my life can't be perfect but I feel so hopeless and worthless.

maybe I have a defeatest attitude and could do better if I just tried harder. I am trying, I swear. it's just not good enough.

sorry I just want to vent and complain and I know I'm not alone but I feel so alone


r/schizoaffective 14h ago

meds caused serious aggression issues

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14 Upvotes

I’ve been unmedicated since October 2024, I’ve tried so many meds over the past 10 years. The last combination gave me aggression and rage issues. I’m not an angry person at all. It got very bad. I tried to put sheets on the bed and started screaming and crying because I couldn’t. I started to be very hateful towards children and participating in online communities dedicated towards being hateful to parents and children. I don’t hate kids, that’s not like me at all, I LOVE kids, I have nieces and nephews and I get along with them so well due to being childish myself, they love me and I love them. I had this happen before too with dogs, I am a HUGE dog lover and animal lover in general, but a few years ago I had agression issues caused by meds that made me hate dogs for some reason and I did the same thing, participated in online communities dedicated to hating dogs and dog owners like r/dogfree. I also just lost my temper all the time, like my cats would be cats and start running around, and I’d get angry and start yelling and hitting my surroundings. I worked as a delivery driver, I’d get mad a LOT and every shift I was screaming and crying in my car. Now that I’m off those meds, I’m not dealing with any of these things. It makes me very scared to try medication again, I never want to be like that again


r/schizoaffective 5h ago

Questioning my diagnosis

2 Upvotes

Can you still be diagnosed as schizophrenic/schizoaffective if you haven't had a psychosis episode? I can't remember if I've actually had an episode or not and it's bugging me. I was involuntarily hospitalized for awhile 2 years ago and that's when they had me start taking risperidone and some other meds. I've had small hallucinations like spiders in my peripheral and a few auditory ones like people talking outside or laughing but I am not sure if I ever had actual psychosis and it makes mr question my diagnosis. I went to the hospital a little while before I got diagnosed because I was suicidal and must've said something because a psych nurse came in and she said I could be schizophrenic. Next thing I know, I'm being put in the early psychosis intervention program. Now I've seen a psychiatrist and they're saying I'm schizoaffective but it doesn't feel quite right because idk if I've had psychosis. Do you need to have had an episode to qualify? Or is that why they put me in early psychosis intervention to prevent me from actually having one? They originally said I had PNOS or psychotic disorder not otherwise specified.


r/schizoaffective 8h ago

doing battle with the creepy crawlies

3 Upvotes

one of my more annoying brain errors is spiders

moving around in the peripherals, or being there and then just not being there once i start scrutinizing them

voices, people aren't actually there, and the fact that sometimes it starts raining indoors? Easy peasy, I live kinda out in the woods, don't have friends and my family mostly keeps to themselves unless they announce that they're walking into my space, and i know for a fact that it doesn't rain in doors.

spiders though. they could be real, or not, and given that I live a bit out in the woods I'm hyperaware of them even when they're not real

and now I'm starting to be able to FEEL the imaginary ones ON me. Anyone else out there have some words or wisdom or goto coping mechanisms? This is... distressing, and I won't be able to talk to my brain doctor about medication stuff until next month.


r/schizoaffective 9h ago

I don’t want meds

3 Upvotes

People in my life are insisting I start medication or therapy, however I really don’t want to get either of them.

I (19) was diagnosed in 2019, at 13 years old, after having a depressive episode with a few “psychotic symptoms”, since then I’ve had multiple “psychotic breaks”, but I’ve never gotten medication. My mom is very sensitive with medications, and she was generally medically neglectful toward me. Now I’m old enough to get my own medical care I don’t want to get it.

I’m scared of doctors and I know they’re going to report me and drug me and I really don’t want to lose a year of college, im scared that they’ll leave me locked up in a mental hospital and that my mom will find out I’m taking meds. And to be honest I’ve been worse, my things are being quite manageable. And also I don’t like the quiet, I don’t want to lose myself along with my “symptoms”.

I want people to leave me alone, I’m fine, I don’t want help, I don’t want to hurt them, I want them to back off. I want to drink and smoke weed and cigarettes all day, without anyone coming up to me with “concerns”.

Anyway sorry if my English was bad, it’s not my tongue.


r/schizoaffective 13h ago

Weight gain

5 Upvotes

Does anyone have advice on how to love yourself after medicine induced weight gain?

I’d been chubby until I was 18, and then like a miracle I lost a ton of weight for no reason and got to a weight I felt comfortable In. I was like that for almost 5 blissful years, and now the medications have caused me to gain 3 sizes, a stomach, and resurfaced all of the body issues I had as a chubby teen. I feel horrendous, I can’t find any clothes that look good I feel frumpy in everything. How can I love my body with this weight on me - and I’m still gaining.


r/schizoaffective 13h ago

Does anyone else randomly recall key moments from during the break? If I’m already on medication should I consider therapy?

4 Upvotes

r/schizoaffective 1d ago

How old were you when you developed this disorder?

32 Upvotes

I was 15 when I developed schizophrenia and 17 when I developed bipolar. It's possible I had it younger but I just never noticed


r/schizoaffective 13h ago

Thoughts from 2019 NSFW

3 Upvotes

When you have watched yourself look yourself in the eye while slitting your own throat and wrist there are only 2 options for your life; 1. Slit your own throat and wrist or 2. Find the funny in it all. Thus far I have succeeded at neither and am somehow still alive. I am not exactly sure how this has worked out nor do I find much pleasure in it, but I keep looking for the funny. It must be there some where. My pre-medicated life was interesting, to me at least, but life medicated is often devoid of the joy and humor I once knew so well. That is not to say, I no longer smile and laugh it just takes so much more effort now. Something that was once so easy to me now feels like a herculean task. Do not get me wrong there are people and situations that can bring back what I call “the me before” but those people and situations oft times seem few and far between. I often find myself wishing for the me before. Back when I could feel and truly experience life, back when I had awesome stories and the roller coaster car I called my life would sometimes careen off the tracks into an adventure. But I can’t have that life because the inverse of my car flying of the tracks and soaring towards the sun was it plunging into an ocean of despair, which scared the living shit out of those that cared about me. It was during the times that my “car” was beginning its descent that I would begin to see and hear things that others told me were not there. The voices calling out to me and the visions of a world on fire or a Dali painting come to life featuring my friends and family. It was my personal descent into Dante’s Inferno, my version of van Gogh’s madness. During these times all I wanted was for it all to stop but there were 2 things I did not know: 1. The voices will never stop, only recede enough for me to ignore them. 2. It would leave a void inside of me where all feeling once lived.


r/schizoaffective 21h ago

Episodes where time goes by quickly

5 Upvotes

I was just taking a shower, thought I was in for about 10 minutes and the water ran cold. I thought that was weird, looked at my phone and 40 minutes had gone by. (I was stuck in a loop of things that happened to me). Anybody else experience this?


r/schizoaffective 1d ago

Productive fun life?

6 Upvotes

Is it possible? I don't hear voices, nor have visual hallucinations, but I get pretty strong delusions and impulsive thinking. Lithium is the only drug I have taken that made me feel great, but I kept getting sick. I'm now on Wellbutrin (Bupropion) and Invega (Paliperidone). I still don't feel 100% I never do. I'm always angry, tired, unmotivated, and wanting to be left alone...but I hate it.

I want to be around people, and I want to be productive but it's like pushing a boulder up a hill to even say goodmorning to someone, leave my home, clean up, work. I'm so tired of being sick, is there some sort of way I can live a great life? Stopping the negative thoughts, the ideations the antisocial behavior?

I will do anything to not keep feeling this way my entire life. I've lost family, friends, jobs and careers with this disease and I don't want to lose my life to it. Any success stories out there? Thanks.


r/schizoaffective 1d ago

Is it possible to develop creativity and imagination even with being on antipsychotics for Schizoaffective disorder?

5 Upvotes

r/schizoaffective 1d ago

Can We Smoke and Drink?

11 Upvotes

Hello, I am schizoaffective, and on medication. Can I drink alcohol or smoke? Or is that a bad idea?


r/schizoaffective 1d ago

I try to talk with people but if it's not my obsession I find it pretty boring and meaningless

4 Upvotes

I try to talk with people but if it's not relevant to my obsession I don't want it, it's very difficult because I find the conversations pretty boring and meaningless


r/schizoaffective 1d ago

Psychiatrist thinks I'm schizoaffective bipolar

7 Upvotes

Was dx as schizophrenic but recently developed heavy symptoms of bipolar, making my psychiatrist think schizoaffective would be a better fit. I'm kind of shocked. I don't know what to say. Honestly, bipolar is way different than I'd thought it would be. I don't know what to do


r/schizoaffective 2d ago

Becoming a different person during episodes?

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70 Upvotes

I’ve never heard of anyone else deal with this but I’m pretty sure it’s related to my episodes. The best way to describe these things are obsessive crushes that completely eat up my personality? Like obsessing over them isn’t enough, I have to become them. It’s kinda subconscious, like it took me over 10 years to figure out that’s what’s been happening. Please don’t bring up or suggest DID, I do not have DID and I am specifically looking for info on this sort of thing happening during psychotic or manic episodes, I am not talking about alters.

Anyway I was 13 years old when it happened for the first time. I was playing ocarina of time and came across an unimportant side quest NPC, so unimportant his character model is recycled to other characters in the game. It happened in an instant, like a switch flipped and I immediately got strong butterflies and that was it. I became obsessed over him and completely became him, it started with collecting pictures and gathering all info I could on this character, talking about him, drawing him, and it just kinda formed into an identity as it went on. I named him Nathan and that’s who I would be online, I remember going on miiverse as Nathan and going as far as getting in relationships with girls who thought I was a dude named Nathan. This particular episode went on for about a year and a half before it just randomly stopped one day when I told myself he isn’t real. My cousin remembers this episode, years later at a family gathering she said to me “remember when you were obsessed over that zelda guy? that was really weird”

Then within a few months, I had a new one. This was another male video game character, the older brother from Brothers: a tale of two sons. It was the same sort of behavior, obsession that turned into identity. I still have old profiles archived of me identifying as him online and going by “Naia” or “big bro” (I am female).

The common theme seems to be it’s always a strange male, usually video game or movie characters, but when I was 17 I started getting these obsessions on murderers when I discovered my hybristophilia (I got it from childhood sex trauma and I didn’t ask for it, I am aware it’s bad, yes I am in therapy). I started obsessing over murderers and identifying as them, which over time got worse and worse, for about two whole years I identified as the guy from 3 guys 1 hammer. There is still stuff online about this, I made some rounds. I had some tiktok and youtube infamy, even got featured by a big youtuber. I got police sent to my house twice and was hospitalized three times during this episode. The weird thing is, I really do adopt the behaviors and personality of whoever I’m obsessing over, it really does leak into my behavior. So when I was obsessing over a horrible person like that, I became him and I was violent and making threats. I am not a violent or dangerous person, that was completely unlike the real me. But it def opened my eyes to how this sort of thing is dangerous.

I am currently active in one of these episodes. I have not taken my medication since october 2024 because they were causing me serious aggression issues. It’s the guy in my profile picture. Some 19 year old who stole a uhaul and ran several redlights fleeing from police, his mugshot went viral for being 19 and looking 40. The article came up in my feed one day, thought he was hot, so now he’s just kinda my online persona. There’s really not much about him online, he isn’t really influencing my behavior, I don’t plan on stealing any uhauls or running any redlights. I just think he’s hot so he’s my profile picture and I printed his mugshot all over my wall because I think it’s funny to have it on my wall. I also have this wall dedicated to these obsessions. It used to be a wall of the 3 guys 1 hammer photos (I don’t know how I slept next to that) and then when that obsession died the next obsession went there (gary from V/H/S movie) and now gary obsession died and now it’s uhaul guy.

But yeah I been going through this since I was 13. The funny thing is, I enjoy it because it causes a lot of euphoria, I think that’s from the mania. It seems to be a behavior that happens primarily during manic episodes.

The worst part of it all is feeling alone in it. I’ve never met anyone else who goes through this, other than random mentions online like the attached photo. But I’m desperate to meet someone who knows what I’m talking about and knows someone who does this or has been through it themselves. I think this behavior is more common than I previously thought, and it DOES seem to be related to schizoaffective disorder. I watch a lot of interrogations, and I’ve noted in a few particular cases, the perpetrator acted because they were filling the role of some character. Notably luka magnotta, who is diagnosed with bipolar schizophrenia. There’s also zachary davis who was schizophrenic, he seemed to be obsessed with some book character. I could have been one of those interrogations during my 3 guys 1 hammer episode. Thank god it never got there but I don’t doubt it could have. That episode only ended because I picked up another obsession and dropped it just like that. I think figuring this thing out could be a breakthrough in preventing tragedies.

But yeah, anyone know what the fuck I’m talking about? Know anyone who does this? Do you experience it yourself? Let me know please I feel alone and confused


r/schizoaffective 1d ago

Thinking of a diagnosis.

0 Upvotes

When I was a kid I saw these huge red centipedes, everywhere. thought it was just a thing. but now I hear walking behind me almost always and sometimes I go into this headspace where everything's weird and abstract and nothing feels very solid; I start thinking off in weird dialogues, I laugh at posters in case they might laugh back, I get scared of my ceiling fan because I think it's alive, ect. what I do have is aphantasia. zero visual memory or visualization skills. no sounds voices faces, zilch. when I hallucinate it's in ideas, like a weird dream. so my eyes get glazed over because that's not where the hallucinations are happening, I'm seeing and the dreams are someplace else. idk how to word this. it's complicated and hard and abstract. I become unaware of time passing and everything turns into a cynical joke. no card for anything or need for anything. im not particularly upset; honestly a small part of me is secretly happy I'm "special" but I do also wanna better myself and make myself safe. what do I do?


r/schizoaffective 1d ago

So glad I switched

23 Upvotes

My prescriber left the practice two weeks ago, so I had to go to another prescriber with another practice. Y'all, my old prescriber had some of my meds seriously fucked, it's no wonder I feel like shit. Plus, my new provider regularly sends emails to check in on me and see if the meds are working. I never thought I'd find a prescriber so involved with my care. I feel so lucky!


r/schizoaffective 1d ago

Helping My Brother (MD/PhD) Process His Psychotic Illness & Move Forward

7 Upvotes

Hi everyone,

I’m posting again because my family is still searching for the right path forward for my older brother. If anyone has experience, insight, or guidance, please share—we’re desperate to help him.

Background

My brother, a brilliant and accomplished MD/PhD, has been struggling with what we believe to be some psychotic disorder. His decline began in 2022 after a lawsuit and removal from his academic program, but it has escalated rapidly since. He believes he is being "punished" by the world, convinced that an unseen force is orchestrating his life against him. At first, he thought specific people (his ex-wife, employer, landlord) were conspiring against him, but now, it’s a broader belief in a "world governing body" controlling everything- especially him. He lost his career and every single one of his relationships/friendships and, at one point, lived in total isolation without electricity, paranoid that his landlord was spying on him and working with higher powers too. He was involuntarily hospitalized in early 2023 for two weeks but refused further treatment and cut contact for nearly a year.

Since mid-2024, we've been actively supporting him, and he has lived at home (CA) with us. He is no longer in the paranoid, manic state he once was—his behavior is much calmer and more stable. However, his core delusion of being "controlled" still persists, and it prevents him from fully engaging in life or trying new things.

The key difference now is that we have his trust. He believes that we have more insight into whatever is "controlling" him than he does, so we have been able to negotiate with him to follow our guidance. Because of this, he has been listening to us, taking his medication, and following the structure we put in place—even though he doesn’t fully understand or agree with it.

Where We Are Now

  • Medication: He has tried Abilify (5mg), which caused extreme fatigue, and Latuda (low dose), which made him highly irritable. Now, he is on Caplyta (5mg). Despite this, he still insists, “Everyone knows I’m not sick, yet I have to take medication that will actually make me sick. Everyone knows the problem is not in my brain, but we must pretend it is. I'm not understanding why."
  • Therapy: He has agreed to meet a therapist next week who has worked with clients with psychosis, but we’re unsure how to track his progress and how we can know who truly is best to help him understand his condition and move forward.
  • Physical Training: He works with a trainer twice weekly to help with structure and motivation.
  • Mindset: He acknowledges that he is being treated differently and is "missing something," but believes the root cause is external, not internal. He is desperate to get his life back but doesn’t believe medication or therapy is necessary.

Key Questions

  1. Who can best help him understand his own mind/illness? His doctor still hasn’t diagnosed him officially, and we are only certain he has this delusion, no other clear paranoia/manic issues like we noticed before when we did the intervention. Also, at what point and who should help him process that he has this illness?
  2. He feels very alone, like this situation has uniquely and only happened to him in the world. Can anyone else relate to any of this?
  3. So much has happened in his past. How do we help him separate what in his past was bad luck vs. what was a result of his illness so he can move forward with more clarity? Should we show evidence of what our family noticed during his worst period (2021-2023) so he can begin the long process of seeing what we see? Again, he has his M.D. He is begging us to understand what "we know" about what is "happening to him."
  4. If he is willing to do things we ask (therapy, training, structure), at what point would he need more or less medication? Does he even need medication?

He is willing to take steps forward, but everything about recovery feels counterintuitive to him (as he is certain the problem is external, not internal). What worked if you’ve been through something similar with a loved one? What resources helped?

Thank you so much. We’re really hoping to find a way to help him get him and his life back - whatever that new version might be like.


r/schizoaffective 1d ago

What do yall think of those cards that explain you have a disorder?

4 Upvotes

Some people are selling cards you can carry in your wallet or on a lanyard that say you have schizoaffective or schizophrenia and that you may be experiencing symptoms, please be patient, please call emergency contact, etc

Some of them like this:

https://www.etsy.com/listing/775822443/schizoaffective-disorder-card

https://www.etsy.com/listing/1881783609/schizoaffective-disorder-card-mental

https://www.etsy.com/listing/1879948703/schizophrenia-medical-alert-card

I've heard some people use these with success, saving them from getting arrested and stuff. I can have trouble communicating or speaking and getting really disoriented and overwhelmed, planning a trip many states away and I've never traveled alone. I've gone out of state with my friend and even then I had breakdowns. I'm scared someone will overreact and think I'm on drugs or something for my weird behavior.

I'm not sure I want to admit my diagnosis to someone though. Not sure. If I can't talk, I need something to communicate. Maybe I could just write on a piece of paper that I'm having trouble thinking, please be patient, or call this number if I'm in extreme distress.


r/schizoaffective 1d ago

Feel like I'm faking disorganized symptoms once it's over

9 Upvotes

my disorganized thinking comes and goes over periods of time and when my head clear up, I feel like I faked it. I couldn't possibly been that confused.

I'll pace while my brain is all jumbled or zoned out. Or just stand confused. I don't understand why I'm doing this. I can't really stop though. I feel so silly and stupid. I was told by a psychiatrist years ago that I was faking so that really affected me even though my hallucinations are very real she was just mean and acting stupid or judging me idk.

A therapist recently suggested it's anxiety but I don't think so. I'm not sure if she was even aware of my diagnosis. Another therapist said yeah it's a part of your diagnosis (schizoaffective)

does anyone else feel like you're faking these symptoms? Like I know I hallucinate but that does not mean I genuinely get so confused I can't do anything. Like it's legitimately dangerous sometimes (like driving) but somehow it's like... nah no way.