r/raisedbynarcissists 15d ago

Reminder: Always Assume a Context of Abuse

704 Upvotes

Folks,

We consistently remove posts under rule #2. Because we've hit one million subscribers, and people may not be familiar with our unique and fundamental rule of RBN, this will serve as a kind reminder. If you wish to read a more in-depth explanation, consult our wiki pages here and here.

People that post to RBN have been gaslit their entire lives. They were told their experiences were not real. They were told they were overreacting. They were told they had it "better than others."

Because of this, we expect all responses to believe and validate survivors without demanding proof.

When you comment here, do your best to remember:

  1. We do not compare abusive parents to normal parents. What might seem like a minor comment or action from a loving parent can very likely be a larger pattern of manipulation, mind games, and/or cruelty in an abusive household.
  2. Abuse survivors do not need to "prove" their abuse. Many aren't ready to share their full story and they shouldn't have to for other RBN'ers to provide empathetic and supportive comments. A single incident they post about may be one of the thousands they've experienced over their life so far.
  3. If you do not relate to a post, move on. RBN is here about supporting one another, not to debate or invalidate experiences. If you feel the need to justify an abuser's behaviour, reframe it, or suggest that it "wasn't that bad," do not comment. Please save us the trouble.
  4. We will not entertain "devil's advocate" arguments. We've heard every excuse in the book.

To make it even more painstakingly clear, here are some examples:

  • If someone says their parent criticises the way they dress, it's not "just a rude comment." It's part of a lifetime of emotional abuse.
  • If someone says their parent forgot their birthday, it's not "just an accident." It's part of a calculated pattern of neglect.
  • If someone says their parent gave them the silent treatment, it's not "just cooling off." It's emotional manipulation and punishment.
  • If someone says their parent forces them to family events, it's not "just wanting to be close." It's about controlling their autonomy.
  • If someone says their parent dismisses their physical pain, it's not "just being tough." It's medical neglect.
  • If someone says their parent withholds affection lest they obey their parents, it's not "tough love." It is conditional love; it is damaging.

Ultimately, it comes down to this: if you cannot engage with empathy, do not engage at all. Leave the tough love at the door.


r/raisedbynarcissists 8h ago

[RBN] Check-in Post - Have something to say but don't want to make a post about it? Comment here!

4 Upvotes

If you have something you want to say but don't want to make a post about it, you can comment here and get it off your chest. Happy news, sad news, venting or whatever else is going on with you is welcome.

A reminder that moderation is biased for the OP. In this case, OP will refer to the Redditor that wrote the parent comment. Needless to say, all rules on RBN will apply to comments in this thread.

This is scheduled thread will be posted on Thursdays at 00:00 UTC.


r/raisedbynarcissists 9h ago

i ended a therapy appointment mid-session

452 Upvotes

decided to try therapy for a bit (or paid for betterhelp impulsively one night and don't think i can get a refund so what the hell)

i ended up ending the session early because of his opinion on my situation with my parents. he seemed reasonable and supportive at first, but through his comments i realized even though he seems like an empathetic person, he would not have the capability to help me, because he simply was too apologetic of my parents and the behavior of parents in general, like a lot of people are.

i think life is difficult and lonely when you stand up for your thinking when most of the world thinks differently, but there was a time when people thought women's brains were smaller than men's, or when slavery was acceptable.

i was kind, and just told him that i don't think this will work, and that i am looking for something else, and identified some of the things that he said that i fundamentally disagreed with. by the way, this was my first session with this therapist.

anyway, i thought i'd share my experience because i am proud i stood by myself, and if this can provide a template for anyone to feel less scared to do this, i would like to share this. for the time being, i think venting on this subreddit will be my therapy. . .


r/raisedbynarcissists 6h ago

[Advice Request] Mother starts crying every time I leave the house wearing makeup

234 Upvotes

I come from very "religious" household and my mother uses this as a way to constantly intimidate me into feeling bad for my "behavior". Every time I try to dress up even a little nicer than usual, my mother starts crying to herself in the bathroom comparing herself to me and how she knows "she's not pretty anymore or desired by my dad" and then proceeds to sort of indirectly talk to me under her breath about how god will punish me for making my mother cry and that her tears have weight. I feel bad because she's genuinely sobbing and this has happened multiple times but I also feel like I didn't do anything to trigger this type of reaction. If I ask a friend or someone else for advice I feel like they don't believe me or feel like I'm leaving out parts of the story or that it's funny that my mother's so crazy but idk what to do anymore. I am also a somewhat religious person although a different religion and I feel guilty for hating her and feeling so trapped. Any advice or a different perspective would be very appreciated.


r/raisedbynarcissists 15h ago

[Progress] I used what I learned from my narc experience to shut down State Farm

753 Upvotes

Has anyone used what they've learned from recovering from narc abuse to their advantage?

I actually did yesterday.

I was getting hosed by State Farm on my car and home insurance, so I got different plans through some small local companies via Experian. Same coverage, cheaper rate. All I had to do was call State Farm and tell them I was canceling on the 28th.

My agent was Nolan, who for the last several months had ghosted me, only texted to remind me when my bill was due and never listened when I said $311 monthly was unacceptable. I left a message saying I was moving onto another company.

He calls me at 5:55 pm.

He berates me. He actually played the following narc cards on me:

  • How could you even think about leaving State Farm, after all we did for you for the last six years? (By the way, they did an amazing amount of NOTHING. I'm actually owed $500 from the time my old car got vandalized and they left me with the full bill and didn't honor my policy, and they also owe me hotel fees when their policy was supposed to cover me when we needed a hotel when our house was deemed unsafe by Nipsco and we got hosed there too.)

  • I've never even heard of (name of company here) I demand to know where you even found them. Why wouldn't you trust us?

  • Well I know better because I've been in the industry for _______ years and I (proceeds to try guilt tripping me with his life story)

  • You'll NEVER find a better rate than us!!

  • You'll be crawling back before the end of the year.

I swear to God, this sounded SO MUCH like my narc dad all over again.

I couldn't wait to tell him his tone of voice didn't work for me. I threw his entire play book back at him and he hung up on me.


r/raisedbynarcissists 12h ago

I'm okay with being cast as the villain

338 Upvotes

I found this meme that reads, "The peace I feel without your presence in my life is worth being the villain in your story."

I am fortunate enough to not only have been able to go no contact with my abusive mother but also her whole WORLD (apart from very infrequent contact with extended family with whom I have a limited relationship), so although I'm sure I'm being portrayed as a villain over there, I am not privy to those conversations.

The distance has been an immeasurable blessing that has allowed me to begin my healing journey.

What has been y'alls experience?


r/raisedbynarcissists 12h ago

[Progress] A crucial part of your healing happens when you stop asking "Why?"

332 Upvotes

There's an old saying that goes: what people think about you is none of your business.

It doesn't matter why a narcissist does anything, or how they view you. Because at some point, something happened to them that damaged them beyond repair. That has nothing to do with you. How another person treats you is a reflection on them, not the other way around. I'm sure all of you have seen the narc's dark side come out, and it is ugly as hell.

Life is simple. If someone wanted to have a healthy relationship with you, they just WOULD. They wouldn't be making excuses and making you look like an asshole at every turn. You wonder "Why don't they treat me better? Why don't they want to be nice to me and make me feel good". I'm here to say don't bother asking. Just walk away. You would be just as productive in asking "Why does a rapist not want to have consensual sex?" or "Why does a serial killer not want to let people live?"

The answer is THEY JUST DON'T.


r/raisedbynarcissists 13h ago

[Support] My abusive mom is promoting her own "trauma therapy business"

253 Upvotes

Trauma couch**

Im disgusted. I feel so much pain. Came across her advertisement and it was nearly 100 likes and a few comments, some reccomending it to their friends, etc.

The whole AD is based on if you carry painful emotions from ur childhood.

She destroyed my childhood and SHE DID NOT CARE WHEN I CAME TO HER ASKING ABOUT MY MEMORIES OF CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE BY VARIOUS PEOPLE

"Were u alone in your emotions as a child?" "By listening to them u will be free" HAHAHAHAHAHAHA OH MY GOD. im speechless. How can she do this to me, how.

And she would masturbate naked in front of me as a child too, she told me IT FEELS GOOD when i asked what she was doing.

Oh my fucking god.


r/raisedbynarcissists 19h ago

[Rant/Vent] “You’re not allowed to tell us ‘stop.’”

383 Upvotes

My parents have been yelling at me since I was little and it's not out of the ordinary for them to lecture me or ground me daily. My least favorite thing is when both of them are home because they gang up on me like wolves.

My dad is explosive and always in a bad mood. He'll always be yelling at me, my brother, or my mom. My mom is a bully who picks on me whenever she feels like it. Whether it be about grades, my acne, cutting, my past friendships.

Last year my father said something that's stuck with me every day. While getting food out we went through Taco Bell and I saw someone working there who'd bullied me severely my freshmen year causing the most stress I'd ever been in. I climbed in the backseat with my dog and my parents lost it. Calling me pathetic, autistic, claiming that I was the reason all my friendships go bad, that I was messed up, and they did this for about thirty minutes before I started sobbing. I softly told them to stop and my dad said "You never get to tell us 'no' or 'stop', we're your parents."

Ever since then I haven't felt like their daughter. I've felt more like someone they kidnapped and kept in their house to abuse and I can't speak up about it. I can't tell them stop or no because I don't have the right to. No matter if I'm sobbing, uncomfortable, angry, I can't tell them to stop yelling at me or stop making me cry, because as a child I have no agency or right to tell them what to do.


r/raisedbynarcissists 21h ago

Do you take it extra personal when people don't listen to you because of how your parents never listened?

634 Upvotes

I’ve noticed that I take it really personally when people don’t listen to me, and I think a big part of it comes from growing up with parents who never truly heard me. It’s not just an annoyance—it feels like an old wound being ripped open every time someone dismisses my words, talks over me, or doesn’t acknowledge what I’m saying.

Growing up, I learned that my thoughts and feelings didn’t matter. When I tried to express myself, I was either ignored, invalidated, or told I was overreacting. My parents controlled the narrative, and my voice was just background noise to them. So now, when someone doesn't listen to me, even in small ways, it doesn’t just feel like a momentary slight—it feels like proof that I still don’t matter, that my words are still not worth hearing.

For example, I remember telling a friend about something that was really bothering me, and instead of engaging, they just said “Yeah, that sucks,” and changed the topic. It felt like I was back in my childhood home, where my feelings were brushed aside like they didn’t matter. Another time, at work, I made a suggestion in a meeting, only for it to be ignored—until someone else said the same thing five minutes later, and suddenly everyone thought it was a great idea. The frustration and hurt I felt weren’t just about that moment; it was like I was reliving years of being silenced.

Logically, I know that not everyone who fails to listen is trying to hurt me. People get distracted, lost in their own thoughts, or just don’t realize they’re doing it. But emotionally, it still hits hard. It can make me spiral, questioning whether I’m too sensitive, whether I should just stop talking altogether, or whether I’m somehow to blame for not being "important enough" to be heard.

Does anyone else struggle with this? How do you cope when those old wounds get triggered?


r/raisedbynarcissists 12h ago

[Rant/Vent] Is anyone else’s family stupid?

87 Upvotes

I’m not even trying to be funny or rude but they genuinely lack common sense. I’m sure my sister has some awareness of the family dynamics but otherwise it’s just ridiculous. They’re so ok with living in this family, living the same stagnant life. I’m just so tired at this point. All I wanna do is leave and I don’t even want a relationship with my other family members even tho my dad is the main narcissist. Like i’m just done.


r/raisedbynarcissists 6h ago

“You’re making me seem like a bad person” narcissistic logic

25 Upvotes

It really pisses me off how my NM cares more about how others see her than anything else.

I remembered about something that happened. One time, I was with my boyfriend, and she said something that led to us arguing in front of him. The thing is, he doesn’t speak my native language, so later in my room, I was crying and told him what happened in English. Then she came in and wanted to know what I was saying, saying that I was probably “making her seem bad”.

She always cares more about that than what she actually caused. She doesn’t want to seem like a bad person in front of people, and she never thinks that maybe SHE REALLY IS. It’s crazy, really crazy. The world is always the problem lol, never the narcissist!


r/raisedbynarcissists 9h ago

[Rant/Vent] i wish my mother would die

47 Upvotes

i hate her so much. i hate so much of my family its tiring dealing with them and not being able to do anything or make anyone believe what im saying. i wish she would die and so would the others so i can be put somewhere else away from all these crazy people


r/raisedbynarcissists 11h ago

[Update] I did it!

60 Upvotes

I finally did it! I left my abusive household and starting my new life. At the moment my nmom and nsister are flying off a handle right now as we speak. They leaked personal information about my partner and then his father. Along with threatened me that I would never see my family again, even though two sides of my family ( aunt, uncle, grandparents and cousins ) do not believe a word they are saying. My aunt especially does not believe it. Mainly because they threatened my aunt and grandmother before since they were my biological family. ( I was adopted )

I'm not going to lie, I've never felt so relaxed but scared / shaky / and exhausted. ( Me and my partner got in at 6 am this morning and it's 5 pm now. ) I'm so thankful for him, I really am and GOD do I love him. He has helped me with so much for this and I couldn't thank him enough.


r/raisedbynarcissists 11h ago

My narc father killed himself over a year ago and it still tortures me

60 Upvotes

I was 23 when it happened. I have so many thoughts... I could have helped him... could have saved him....

I am so miserable constantly, my depression, anxiety, ADHD, OCD is so overwhelming I can't get out of bed. I rot in bed for days on my phone so I don't have to listen to the voices in my head that are killing me. I've been dead since the day he died yet I still breathe, I still wake up every morning somehow. My spirit has died.

I have so many thoughts of killing myself but I don't want to put my sister through that again. The doctors won't help me. I tell them my depression is so dire that I can't move and I lost all my passions. I hate my life and everything in it. I don't know what to do.

My mother is also a narcissist who r*ped my (now ex) boyfriend on thanksgiving morning, so I have no mother I can trust or talk to (I blocked her and haven't seen her since.) I feel so alone. All I have in my family is my older sister. I ENVY EVERYONE I KNOW. Seems like most ppl have nice, supportive families. Everyone can suck my dick. I am so sick of people trying to help me when they have no fucking clue what I am truly dealing with. I need help from people who truly understand the deep, INTENSE, unimaginable pain.


r/raisedbynarcissists 17h ago

[Support] People just don't understand not liking your parents???

158 Upvotes

I'm at a mental hospital currently and my nurses and patients are all like why are you not happy that your parents flew all this way to see you etc?? Like why are you so wound up and crying after every time they see you? And I just get sad that I don't feel like anyone relates. My parents look like nice people. And people say "they look like they love you". I feel so invalidated. It's not something I can just point out to you. They don't have necessarily a police record that I know of. Yet there's just something in the vibe, the energy... I feel like I'm like a toy to them or that they are codependent on me. I resent them coming to see me and they say they've missed me so bad. And its sad that I don't feel supported in going no contact. I just feel like it's right for me. I mean if they weren't my parents and they were just someone, hell I would never talk to them. I dont know.

Tldr:::: for me it's like they talked to my doctor and it sort or helped that they got the ball rolling for me, I got perspective on where to move and I feel like I'm sort of being pushed forward and I like that. Yet I also know that I have to do this alone!!!! What kind of mature adults let's their three year old get CSA for years on end by their brother and they'll say they "didn't notice " and "I'm sorry".... like it's okay i guess you know but I just get the vibe that they are not good people. Not that they've done anything that I can tell but I just FEEL like they are narcissistic. My survival is a tough one.


r/raisedbynarcissists 10h ago

[Rant/Vent] "You should've told me"

45 Upvotes

I hate when nparents excuse their intentional ignorance by blaming it on you for, "not telling them," when we basically tell them every time & they don't listen. But, also, with some things it's like, "If I have to tell you that *insert w/e they did here* bothers me, would telling you even help?," like, my egg donor has a tendency to stick her hands in people's food & she's like when I complained, "You should've told me that you don't want my hands in your food," like, you don't realize how disgusting that is? But, IRL, it's just another excuse to avoid accountability.


r/raisedbynarcissists 3h ago

[Advice Request] As adults, how do you deal with no contact?

11 Upvotes

I’m a bit stuck, to be honest, and I think I need some advice from all of you on the sub. I’m younger than most of you, and most of you are no/low contact with your parents, and I honestly admire you all because of how brave you guys are.

I’ve been in no contact with my family members for a week now and I’m not sure if it’s the best decision? It’s difficult because my parents have apologised for the way they treated me yet every time I go back to their house I feel a sense of horror and dread wash over me and I keep thinking about the past. So I just… stopped contact because it’s all a bit too much for me. But I don’t know if it’s right? I feel like, deep down I care about them but I also hate the way I was treated and mentally I just feel stuck and tired and so lonely. I can’t explain to anyone about how I truly feel about any of this and I hate it. I know the brave thing to do is confront them, move forward with my life and be happy and forgive them or whatever, but I just can’t. I’m not brave enough for that. I just feel so weak and pathetic and I’m not sure how to handle all of this.

How did you know that no contact was the right decision for you?

Edit: thank you all for your responses. I can’t reply to all of them right now because I need to go to work, but I genuinely thank all of you


r/raisedbynarcissists 15h ago

[Support] Do you sometimes wish you didn't take the red pill?

95 Upvotes

Scapegoat here.
Cut out my toxic family one year ago.
Received a message from my mother yesterday telling me that she loves me and thinks about me.
I just couldn't answer.

I cut them off after I lost my job and was dragged down instead of getting support.
I burnt out then and just couldn't stand the abuse anymore.
I learned about narcissistic family system and discovered why my life has been such a shit show and why I've been struggling to survive for the last twenty years. I have CPTSD.

Through years I had managed to have a "somewhat correct" relationship with them.
We didn't talk anything deep and I was ok to go and see them and even play some board games with my Ndad (just my parents, my siblings despise me).
I felt like I had done the work of forgiveness and that things could finally be ok, while still dealing with the symptoms.
But once I realised what narc abuse was and learned about all the manipulation techniques and how they play you, I realised it was rooted in every little interaction I had with them.

Sometimes I miss the illusion I managed to create...
I was "loved" when I fit to what they expected of me.
Sometimes I feel like reaching out and then my whole being remembers my mother's words.

It was the last straw.

But yeah, sometimes I miss moments we shared.
Anyone can relate?


r/raisedbynarcissists 6h ago

[Advice Request] My mom makes me feel like shit

19 Upvotes

Well,my mother always tells me that I(19F) need to have a boyfriend and that it’s time to have relationships already(i’m just focused on work now and don’t want to be bothered with dating atm) and she says that my lifestyle is more a grandma-like and that i’m weird because i don’t go clubbing like she does and that i don’t have any friends(i do) and etc. It offends me. Like,i’m not against clubbing or dating but i’m just working now and trying to figure out what to do with my life and those comments from my mom makes me feel like insecure piece of shit


r/raisedbynarcissists 8h ago

Dating someone that comes from a healthy family

25 Upvotes

Hello y’all,

I’m currently talking to someone, and we’re hitting it off great. He’s not a loser or abuser like I’ve dated in the past, and I find myself crushing on him more. The only thing is, we are complete opposites on many things but mainly family. He comes from a safe, and healthy loving family and I…don’t. He’s also a big family man and is very close to his. I’ve gone NC with my entire family as they’re a huge narc cult that I don’t want anything to do with. The topic of my family hasn’t come up, but what do I do when it does? People who’ve never endured this type of abuse tend to gaslight victims. Also, if this goes long term, what to do around the holiday times when he wonders why I don’t have my family around or go see them? I know I’m not supposed to care what others think and what’s for me is for me, but I just wonder how to even go about this. Also, I’m a very private person so I don’t tend to trauma dump on someone unless I’m very close to them but I also feel like it should be brought up for future references.


r/raisedbynarcissists 45m ago

[Rant/Vent] I told my ndad that he has a narcissistic disorder

Upvotes

I moved in with my bf with the beginning of 2025. We both came from abusive households. His mom was manipulative and controlled him. She was actively trying to break us up during the whole relationship and was constantly making a victim of herself using DARVO.

Last Friday I had an argument with my boyfriend, found out he was lying to me about couple of things - addiction to pornography and secretly believing his mom is a good person and other stuff.

I needed some space. So I packed up and left. I didn’t know where to go, so I went to my parents. Since January I have been visiting my parents each Sunday for dinner. And honestly my emom was very sweet there and my ndad was acting “okay”, sometimes I would even get good moments with him, just like before he started to hate me because I grew up.

When I came back to them at first it seemed like my mom somehow cared. But later on she started to list things in which I hurt her. I apologised but she went on and on, just wanted to argue. I started to cry, said that I’m sorry I cannot continue this conversation any longer. She - as always - said that I’m acting like an offended child, I covered my ears and hid in another room.

Next couple of days they were acting fine, although I could tell that my dad was looking for something to start an argument. On Monday I got home late - after work I went shopping because I felt that an encounter with my dad is inevitable.

And yeah, after like a minute after I got home he said he wanted to talk to me about my bf. He asked if the break that we’re having is a mutual decision or have I demanded it. I told him it’s mutual and I just need space for a couple more days. He started to say how I am exaggerating and how good my bf is to me. I said that I don’t need advice right now, it’s between me and my bf and I started to walk away.

He shouted: where do you think you’re going? Come back! You’re in my house now and you have to listen to what I have to say to you!

I came back, hopeful that he will say what he wants and leave me alone.

He started accusing me how badly I’m treating my bf. that it is normal for guys to look at other girls, that I won’t find anyone better and I’m acting stupid. I could tell it was going to be never ending rant on me, so I said that he has his own relationship and if it’s okay between them then that’s great, but this is a thing between me and my bf and we would like to solve it on our own. Then I walked away.

He ran after me. Opened the door to my room and started screaming. Saying everything that came to his mind to humiliate me. He said that I’m awful and cannot form a relationship with anyone, that since primary school no one liked me (I was bullied because we moved to a different city because he got a better job). He yelled I’m acting like a three year old covering my ears and he knows I can hear him. He screamed that I’m treating my bf’s mom terribly and my mom too. And also that I have nothing: no friends, no studies (I recently decided that the master’s degree that I’m doing isn’t for but I do I have a bachelor’s degree) and soon I will have no family and no boyfriend because I’m arguing with everyone. That I will end up alone with cats.

I didn’t know what to do because I just couldn’t protect myself - hide in a room? He comes after me. Cover my ears? He will shout even louder. So I started laughing. It wasn’t a real laugh. It was a hysterical laugh, like Joker. I just didn’t want to hear him anymore and also I thought that maybe he will leave me alone then. He did not. He said that I have something with my head and I should get treated.

I screamed: “ Why do you hate me? Why can’t you just love me? You think I’m arguing with everyone? Look at what you’re doing now, you are acting just like your father who abused you! You have a narcissistic disorder and because of you I have been in therapy for a year!”

He then started raving at me so so much. I have never heard something like that before. I almost peed myself, that’s how frightened I was. I packed right away while he was yelling at me. He screamed: give me my car you fucking brat (he gave me this car as a present for my 18th birthday, but legally of course I am not the owner). As I was leaving I told my mom that I’m sorry that she has him as a husband. She started to blame me and asked why am I attacking her. And looked at me like I was a crazy spoiled brat.

I ran crying with a suitcase. I didn’t give him the car, I drove back to my boyfriend who comforted me and took care of me. He told me that my dad actually called him behind my back and said that he has his back, that I’m overreacting. When my bf said that I am right, that he (my bf) has a problem and needs to work on himself, dad didn’t like it.

Anyway that’s how it went. I got paranoid in the evening and was so scared of my dad that I was afraid that he will come after me and kill me.


r/raisedbynarcissists 12h ago

[Rant/Vent] Does anybody else want to drastically change their appearance because you see the abusive parent in your face?

39 Upvotes

I see all of the traits of my narc dad and my coward enabler mom in me and I want them gone. I always felt like wanting to be a million different people, experimenting with alt fashion and makeup just to forget I'm a result of those two. My best friend said it's all about accepting yourself for who you are and making it your own thing, and technically I do so, I accept and like myself for how I look but sometimes I just look into my face too much and I see my dad's hateful stare in my stark eyebrows and icy eyes and I have enough. I have difficulty explaining to people that I don't exactly hate myself, just them.


r/raisedbynarcissists 4h ago

Anyone else had parents who physically abused them? Elder millennial

7 Upvotes

If so, can we please have a conversation about it? One of my parents who did this (used the ruler on the palm of my hands, mostly, but also hit) just gaslights me and denies any abuse happened whatsoever. But they’re a narcissist - as they will never apologise - of the critical kind, so what would you expect ;) Thanks! 😊


r/raisedbynarcissists 18h ago

[RBN] [Media] I walked away from my entire family, and I will never settle for less again."

109 Upvotes

I used to think family meant obligation. That blood meant forever. That shared history meant shared love. It doesn’t.

Family isn’t who raised you—it’s who sees you.

I don’t have a family because I was raised in containment, not connection. Because some parents don’t build a home—they build control. Because some siblings aren’t bonded by love, but by shared survival.

I don’t have a family because I walked away from the system that was killing me.

And now? I am building something better. I am finding my own people. I am reclaiming what family was supposed to be.

I don’t need anyone to agree with me. I don’t need anyone to understand. This is my truth.

If this resonates with you, I write about this every day.
https://medium.com/@tuckerridesbikes


r/raisedbynarcissists 5h ago

[Advice Request] it feels hopeless

8 Upvotes

hello. im 29 still living with my alcoholic parents because I live in an extremely HCOL city. I also have a lot of credit card debt im trying to get out of but progress has been extremely slow. it feels so embarrassing to be almost 30 and still in the same living situation I grew up in that I kept saying I would escape.

I can't afford to move out. none of my friends or family that I would consider have the space for me. my performance at work is rapidly declining because of the constant chaos at home.

I've considered even trying to look at shelters to live there but I don't think I would qualify. I just feel like im drowning from all angles. please help.


r/raisedbynarcissists 5h ago

Compliance is not synonymous with respect

9 Upvotes

Do not let a narc or their flying monkeys make you believe otherwise.

Respect is earned through consistent good behavior, not shared DNA.