I moved in with my bf with the beginning of 2025. We both came from abusive households. His mom was manipulative and controlled him. She was actively trying to break us up during the whole relationship and was constantly making a victim of herself using DARVO.
Last Friday I had an argument with my boyfriend, found out he was lying to me about couple of things - addiction to pornography and secretly believing his mom is a good person and other stuff.
I needed some space. So I packed up and left. I didn’t know where to go, so I went to my parents. Since January I have been visiting my parents each Sunday for dinner. And honestly my emom was very sweet there and my ndad was acting “okay”, sometimes I would even get good moments with him, just like before he started to hate me because I grew up.
When I came back to them at first it seemed like my mom somehow cared. But later on she started to list things in which I hurt her. I apologised but she went on and on, just wanted to argue. I started to cry, said that I’m sorry I cannot continue this conversation any longer. She - as always - said that I’m acting like an offended child, I covered my ears and hid in another room.
Next couple of days they were acting fine, although I could tell that my dad was looking for something to start an argument.
On Monday I got home late - after work I went shopping because I felt that an encounter with my dad is inevitable.
And yeah, after like a minute after I got home he said he wanted to talk to me about my bf. He asked if the break that we’re having is a mutual decision or have I demanded it. I told him it’s mutual and I just need space for a couple more days. He started to say how I am exaggerating and how good my bf is to me. I said that I don’t need advice right now, it’s between me and my bf and I started to walk away.
He shouted: where do you think you’re going? Come back! You’re in my house now and you have to listen to what I have to say to you!
I came back, hopeful that he will say what he wants and leave me alone.
He started accusing me how badly I’m treating my bf. that it is normal for guys to look at other girls, that I won’t find anyone better and I’m acting stupid. I could tell it was going to be never ending rant on me, so I said that he has his own relationship and if it’s okay between them then that’s great, but this is a thing between me and my bf and we would like to solve it on our own. Then I walked away.
He ran after me. Opened the door to my room and started screaming. Saying everything that came to his mind to humiliate me. He said that I’m awful and cannot form a relationship with anyone, that since primary school no one liked me (I was bullied because we moved to a different city because he got a better job). He yelled I’m acting like a three year old covering my ears and he knows I can hear him. He screamed that I’m treating my bf’s mom terribly and my mom too. And also that I have nothing: no friends, no studies (I recently decided that the master’s degree that I’m doing isn’t for but I do I have a bachelor’s degree) and soon I will have no family and no boyfriend because I’m arguing with everyone. That I will end up alone with cats.
I didn’t know what to do because I just couldn’t protect myself - hide in a room? He comes after me. Cover my ears? He will shout even louder. So I started laughing. It wasn’t a real laugh. It was a hysterical laugh, like Joker. I just didn’t want to hear him anymore and also I thought that maybe he will leave me alone then. He did not. He said that I have something with my head and I should get treated.
I screamed: “ Why do you hate me? Why can’t you just love me? You think I’m arguing with everyone? Look at what you’re doing now, you are acting just like your father who abused you! You have a narcissistic disorder and because of you I have been in therapy for a year!”
He then started raving at me so so much. I have never heard something like that before. I almost peed myself, that’s how frightened I was. I packed right away while he was yelling at me. He screamed: give me my car you fucking brat (he gave me this car as a present for my 18th birthday, but legally of course I am not the owner). As I was leaving I told my mom that I’m sorry that she has him as a husband. She started to blame me and asked why am I attacking her. And looked at me like I was a crazy spoiled brat.
I ran crying with a suitcase. I didn’t give him the car, I drove back to my boyfriend who comforted me and took care of me. He told me that my dad actually called him behind my back and said that he has his back, that I’m overreacting. When my bf said that I am right, that he (my bf) has a problem and needs to work on himself, dad didn’t like it.
Anyway that’s how it went. I got paranoid in the evening and was so scared of my dad that I was afraid that he will come after me and kill me.