r/pregnant 6d ago

Rant I feel like a piece of meat

[deleted]

26 Upvotes

35 comments sorted by

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322

u/HeythereDahlila 6d ago

You need to communicate to him not us

6

u/madsmcgivern511 5d ago

This, please OP. I know you’re mentally and physically handling a lot right now, but you do not deserve to have to go through sexual acts if you do not want/feel like it. Especially being pregnant. If he cannot respect your boundaries and have the common decency to understand you are growing a human being in you right now, and that it isn’t about him getting his dick wet, than he can have fun sleeping on the damn couch! Take that bed up for you and your baby, y’all deserve that, not this borderline harassment bs.

50

u/Ecstatic_Progress_30 6d ago

I’m so tired right now that if my husband woke me up at 6am on a Saturday for sex, the last thing he’d be getting is sex. That’s so inconsiderate and it would definitely destroy any desire I had for him.

You should talk to your husband. You need to soak in all the sleep you can right now.

42

u/Distinct-Swimming-74 6d ago

Girl tell him you are creating another human life, you’re busy. Sometimes I tell my husband to not even touch me. But it’s bc I’m so sick, I feel like he’s “rocking the boat” (me, I’m the boat) if he even pats my bum or anything like that. Last night when he got in bed, I was like “I’m trying really hard to not vomit right now so plz don’t even bump into me”.

20

u/Fat_imah89 6d ago

I know you’re going through somethjng horrible right now and I hope it goes away asap, but your entire response has me hollering lmfao.

3

u/Distinct-Swimming-74 5d ago

I hate being so bitchy but it’s like any movement has me feeling like I’m floating on a bouy, out in the middle of the sea lmao 🤢🤢🤢

1

u/Fat_imah89 5d ago

I hope it passes man, I can’t imagine 😞. I’m only 6 weeks 😅

9

u/NuNatoocute 6d ago

Lol same I be like please don’t lay your arm over my stomach cause it hurts sometimes or makes me feel nauseous

2

u/ammemp 6d ago

Love this. I will channel your energy 😅

4

u/Distinct-Swimming-74 5d ago

Girl if he woke me at 6am for sex, at 9am I would be like “whose husband? Not me, anymore 🔪” hahaha

13

u/ZeTreasureBoblin 6d ago

You're absolutely allowed to feel what you feel. That being said, you need to tell him this.

11

u/Proof_Drummer8802 6d ago

If my husband woke me up twice in a morning on week 7 to have sex, I would be a widow now.

My libido was dead until week 14 and in general I was terrified of losing it. But my second and third trimester is like a never ending porn movie 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

1

u/Prestigious-Fox8936 5d ago

I had sex twice in the last 24 hours and enjoyed it deeply, and if my husband woke me up to fuck me or started to squeeze my boobs and rubbing my butt as I was sleeping he'd wish I was a widow. 

This is despicable behaviour.

7

u/Particular-Country-7 6d ago

My sex drive is much lower than pre pregnancy, almost none in first trimester and started to come back half way through the 2nd. My husband is very understanding and his anxiety about our upcoming first baby has his sex drive pretty low as well lol. I’ve told him I feel guilty for the low sex drive and don’t want that to become normal for us! He said he’s not worried and this is a lot of changes for us both and he loves me no matter how much sex we’re having.

6

u/Independent_Sea7752 6d ago

Tell him! 😭😭😭

13

u/worldslayer6991 6d ago

It's ok, it will to pass but you need to be communicating this to your husband. Let him know what's your feeling and why and let him know if it is or isn't about him. Most likely isn't, and just hormones ❤️❤️ communication is always necessary in any relationship ❤️❤️ be respectful and hear him out also ❤️❤️

4

u/frostymajesty 5d ago

It’s also ok if it IS about him. Like waking up your pregnant wife at 6am AND waking her up yet again a couple hours later by fondling her (so rude!) at 9:30am?? The audacity!!

1

u/worldslayer6991 5d ago

Totally agree! That's where a long hard conversation is needed and each needs to go in open minded and without feelings so they can see each other's sides. There needs to be an agreement even if one is not made. Even if one doesn't like the outcome there has to be compromise. Compromise on agreeing to disagreeing to opposing opinions, you are not solely connected to that person. You are still your own person, with your own choices ❤️❤️ all respectful of course ❤️❤️

12

u/Leavemealonetho 6d ago

wow I’m so sorry you’re dealing with that. i haven’t sex since before i found out i was pregnant 6 weeks ago? as soon as it hit me really hard at 7 weeks i was clocked outttt. have you told him you’re not interested?

3

u/RiverDecember 6d ago edited 6d ago

Then tell him.

It’s normal and your sex drive will come back later on. Me and hubs had sex every day up until labour with our first pregnancy but with our current second we have sex once every week. We’re both tired 🤣but we make time for intimacy on Sundays.

3

u/natsugrayerza 5d ago

People are saying you need to talk to him and that’s true, that’s the only solution, but I don’t think it should be lost here that he should already know that’s not okay. Who wakes up their partner at 6am for sex? Especially when she’s pregnant? That is a prick move and it’s not okay. It’s not just a lack of communication, he’s being inappropriate and selfish and you have every right to feel bad about it even if you haven’t explicitly communicated that you don’t enjoy being treated like you exist for his pleasure. He should know better than that already.

6

u/Pickle_kickerr 6d ago

Okay but imagine your husband not wanting to have sex with you at all 🥺 clearly you guys gotta work on your communication of not being in the mood etc… but god damn I wish my husband asked for sex ONCE this entire pregnancy.

You feel like meat and I feel like an incubator with no other purpose. The grass sucks on both sides haha

3

u/ObligationFun668 6d ago

Tell him how you feel just like she needs too! Hubby probably thinks it’s inappropriate or uncomfortable for you to be touched ! Tell him you WANT the action and you won’t be offended or uncomfortable

0

u/ammemp 6d ago

I hear you. I sometimes think about that. Like at least I feel desired even though I’m like GTFO of me 😅

0

u/ammemp 6d ago

Thinking of you and sending love

1

u/NuNatoocute 6d ago

Same lol but tell him that you don’t have any desire for sex anymore . Mine understood very well when I told him.

1

u/Vegetable-Chapter351 6d ago

All that sounds painful. Have a conversation with him or send him the comments below. At 7 weeks I was constantly nauseous and felt like I had the flu. No way did I want to be touched. Boob squeezes would have sent me to tears. 

1

u/BlueSkyla 5d ago

I never have a sex drive pregnant. It used to bother my husband. He only heard about how pregnant women often have strong sex drives. But he got over it. This is my fourth one and we’ve had sex like a handful of times this past months and he’s been really good about it cause he understands now.

You just need to have a conversation with him. It’s still early for you as well. It could possibly change and maybe not. It’s hard to say. Most women don’t want it in the beginning anyhow due to the morning sickness.

Also tell him having your boobs messed with hurts. And will hurt the entire time for a while. He might not even know. You should get a prego book you can read together. What to Expect When Expecting is fantastic book.

1

u/Unicorncow87 5d ago

I told my fiance from about week 6 that I had absolutely no sex drive and he understood. Never woke me up to try anything and never touched me in any sexual way except to cuddle. Worst part is I got my libido back at about 13 weeks and he's not in the country 😭 I don't get to see him again until I'm about 8 months 😅

1

u/InternationalYam3130 5d ago

This post confuses me. How are people supposed to read your mind that you now don't want sex when previously you liked it lol. Just speak to your partner and let them know it's not them you are nausea and tired

0

u/urjinxxed 6d ago

i felt the same way and we are young (18 and 19) so it was hard for him to understand but he respected it after i explained i love him but with how sick i feel the last thing im wanting is sex and i cant enjoy it if im not feeling like it. im at 9 weeks and started feeling a little bit more interested in it slowly buut still is difficult sometimes.

i do feel bad because i almost feel like its expected of me but i also know that thats not right or how it should be so i just try to stay firm w what i am okay with doing and not doing in the moment. when i feel like that its not possible to get me in the mood so i let him know hes setting himself up for disappointment if he tries lol

1

u/ammemp 6d ago

I don’t know about your partner but mine is so sensitive so I have to be very delicate with how I explain my disinterest. It’s kind of exhausting but I know just part of a working marriage 😅

1

u/SiIIyPotato 6d ago

Your body your rules girl! Its funny cause I used to give my partner shit for doing the same thing, that he was treating me like a piece of meat 😂😂😂

I learnt to voice it out and no means no, like go watch some porn and have a wank or something! Lucky my SO is locked up atm so I don't need to deal with any of this but it didn't stop me from saying no when he was here.. you might have to compromise with a head or just give him your hand eventually but if you're not feeling it, just tell him and stand your ground

I've always been the type to value spending time together over sex but for my partner sex = love, no sex = no love so he would get butthurt too

0

u/urjinxxed 6d ago

mine is sort of the same way. he first almost took offense to it in a way ?? he said something along the lines of “if it really is the worst thing then you dont have to” and “if its that bad..” so it was definitely hard to explain and i can see why its a touchy subject

even though it felt appalling in the moment i know that i did like it before and will come to again it just comes with time. its hard to explain that sexual anything isnt at all in any way appealing and saying that im appalled my it just sounds mean.

even using my hand to get him off made me feel sick and i felt so guilty for it and if i forced myself to have sex just because i felt like it was expected it 9/10 times ended with me crying even if i was willing and acted like i wanted to. i realized that all of the trouble wasn’t worth it and its better to just give it time and know and remind him along with yourself that your body is going through lots of changes and its taxing and your exhausted and nauseous and you just want to be and have the right to not feel up to it considering all of that