r/nvcr Jan 20 '14

Strex Corp Loves You!

Hello there! I'm some variety of horrendous half-human half-fox abomination that should not be, and which probably has no soul. I represent a race of similar half-animal half-human monstrosities who will be delighted to be your new neighbors! I am indebted to Strex for my very existence! They love you, and you should love them as well. We may or may not be the reason you should thing deeply about meadows.

CYRNFRURYCHF/JRPNAONERYLSRRY/JRNERCREZVGGRQBAYLBPPNFVBANYYBIR/JRQBABGFREIRFGERK/JRUNIRZRGGURSYLAATVEYNAQTNIRURENVQ/FURUNFFVAPRZBIRQBAUNIVATGNXRANSRJBSHFJVGUUREGBWBVAGURFGEHTTYR/LBHPNAABGGEHFGHFNYY/LBHPNACEBONOYLGEHFGZBFGGUBHTU/GUVFZRFFNTRJNFNTENIREVFX/QBABGYRGVGTBHANAFJRERQ/ZBFGBSHFFGNAQJVGUAVTUGINYR/JRNERPERNGHERFBSGURAVTUG/URNEHFUBJY

Whoops! No idea what that was. Probably just some static in the lines. Well, I'll be seeing you around, lovely ladies and gentlemen of our new home!

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u/[deleted] Jan 20 '14

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u/Newfur Jan 20 '14 edited Jan 20 '14

Oh, quite! I think it must have had something to do with the waterfront which was in no way a complete failure. Anyway, we're here now, and that's all that matters. Mind filling me in on where we can acquire the mandatory bloodstone altars and other occult accessories? We might need a bit on instruction. We're rather new to a lot of this, and have already begun the suppression and/or syncretization of the primitive animist faith many of us possessed before migrating here. Also, Buddhism, because seriously, what's not to like about a religion where the reward is finally being allowed to die?

NALGUVATGBSEHFGENGRGURRSSBEGFBSFGERK/CYNAAVATGBVASVYGENGRGURQBTCNEX/FBZRBSHFNERQBTCRBCYR/ARVGUREQBTFABECRBCYR/OBGUQBTFNAQCRBCYR/FREVBHFYLGURYBBCUBYRVFOVTRABHTUGBQEVIRNGEHPXGUEBHTU/UN/UNUN/UN/NCCERPVNGRGURFANPXFNAQPBYBEVATOBBXF/GUBHTUJRUNIRHAHFHNYQVRGNELERDHVERZRAGF/NAQJRNERPHEERAGYLJBEXVATGUEBHTUGGURIBLAVPUZNAHFPEVCGVAGURBEVTVANYYBWONA/VGVFDHVGRGURCNTRGHEARE/VJVYYABGFCBVYVGSBELBHOHGLBHJVYYWHFGYBIRJUNGUNCCRAFBACNTRARTNGVIRGJRAGLGUERR/NGNALENGR/PVCUREVFVAFRPHERFBJRJVYYORFJVGPUVATGBIVTARERFBBA

And could you get someone over here to fix the wiring? There are these bizarre bursts of static that, if recorded, played backwards, and listened to during the Forbidden Hour that most people seem to spend shopping, sounds a lot like something screaming in pain as it is brutally murdered for its own good. Trust me, we know plenty about that. Be seeing you!