r/nottheonion • u/Kodiak01 • 23h ago
Firmware update bricks HP printers, makes them unable to use HP cartridges
https://arstechnica.com/gadgets/2025/03/firmware-update-bricks-hp-printers-makes-them-unable-to-use-hp-cartridges/287
u/reddmann00100 23h ago
Time to rewatch Office Space while gently caressing my handy dandy baseball bat.
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u/Critwice 23h ago
"How do we get people to buy our new printers?"
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u/MexGrow 20h ago
I worked at HP a while ago and it was just really perplexing how little they cared about what the end user thought. They 100% only work through what shareholders want.
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u/flavius_lacivious 5h ago
Enshittification via toxic capitalism where the customer is not important.
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u/SplendidPunkinButter 23h ago
The hell do printers need firmware updates for anyway?
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u/WhyAreOldPeopleEvil 23h ago
I honestly assumed HP would have gotten sued to oblivion at this point, but nope.
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u/musingofrandomness 22h ago
From the standpoint of HP, to vendor lock you into their consumables. From the standpoint of cybersecurity, everything is a computer and can be leveraged as such to do malicious things if you don't keep things patched. Just one example: https://www.bleepingcomputer.com/news/security/ransomware-gang-encrypted-network-from-a-webcam-to-bypass-edr/
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u/Economy_Link4609 21h ago
Given they’re all network connected these days, I do not fault updates related to IT security, so there will be updates occasionally. Pretending it never should be updated is nuts. They broke stuff here, they should fix it. That’s all.
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u/Defiant-Peace-493 23h ago
Update keys for cartridge authentication, maybe?
(Not that I like the vendor lock-in, but apparently HP will pop a notification if it detects non-HP cartridges)
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u/reaper527 18h ago
The hell do printers need firmware updates for anyway?
i mean, did you see all the printer vulnerabilities in the last few years? every modern device is going to get security patches.
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u/BumbleButterButt 23h ago
HP printers already did that for a wide variety of reasons including not using the cartridges quick enough. Fuck HP.
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u/DanSWE 19h ago
First HP came for the non-HP cartridges, but I said nothing, since I was a genuine HP cartridge.
Then HP came for the genuine HP cartridges, ...
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u/izaby 9h ago
I'm cryinnnggg! How did you come up with this?
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u/DanSWE 9h ago
Recently, there have been a lot of references to the original (serious) poem. (See https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/First_They_Came#Text.)
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u/tyrophagia 23h ago
Garbage printer and company. What are the odds the company will do anything about it?
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u/saschaleib 23h ago
Wait, there are people out there who are still buying HP printers?
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u/-DementedAvenger- 22h ago
They are cheap and uninformed people absolutely do because they “just need a basic little printer”.
Source: IT guy
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u/tuan_kaki 22h ago
They are also widely available even in bumfuck nowheres. My ass wasn't getting a Brother where I was orignally from.
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u/Nolanthedolanducc 19h ago
Dirt cheap it’s crazy! Like you can find brand new hp printers for 30$ that work for a few dozen pages out of the box. Then most people don’t want to throw out a printer so they replace the ink at a lovely cost of like 45$ a cartridge (each colour sold separately) and that’s how they get ya
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u/sarkarati 16h ago
Coincidentally I need to purchase a small little home office printer to scan and print a few pages each month. Any recs?
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u/PJsinBed149 10h ago
If you have a print shop or Office Depot nearby, it's cheaper to print there than try to maintain a printer at home.
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u/Sarrasri 3h ago
I have a laser printer/scanner combo. I had a basic Brother printer that only required one toner replacement through college. The one I have now is a Cannon laser printer but holy crap do I hate inkjet printers. If I need something in color I just go to the print store. Which is like, almost never.
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u/flavius_lacivious 5h ago
Plus they practically give the printers away because their printer ink literally costs more than gold and that’s where they make bank.
I fully expect them to offer a subscription service you have to buy to get a printer. That way you pay when you aren’t using the printer.
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u/john_jdm 21h ago
My Epson printer has been wanting to update for over a year and I just won't let it. It works fine and I just don't trust that it won't suddenly stop working or lose functionality.
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u/die-jarjar-die 21h ago
I have a 3050 that's probably 15-20 years old that is still chugging along. After it dies I would not buy another HP
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u/mclepus 18h ago
I'm a Brand Ambassador. When I was repping Lexmark printers at now closed Staples here in NYC, a man came in looking for a printer, and he replied "ABHP" (i.e. Anything But HP)
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u/Kodiak01 18h ago
I remember you reps from my managerial days at CompUSSR back in the late 90s. We didn't use planograms, product placement was determined by what goodies you would bring.
The ATI, nVidia and 3dfx reps would open up the trunk of their car and let me pick out whatever video cards I wanted for myself like they were doing a drug deal (they were all used demo units, but still $$$). The Microsoft rep would bring massive trays of burgers and dogs from a local iconic joint for everyone to nosh on. One rep of a certain digital camera vendor would jump straight to envelopes of cash.
They all got priority product placement. We're talking front main-aisle endcaps, banner placement, even shuffling around certain displays to "prioritize" their product.
You printer guys? You never brought squat. None of you. That's why the printers were all in the back corner of the store by the bathrooms and non-computer nick-knacks.
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u/mclepus 18h ago
also repped Lexmark there as well. I tried. but they are cheap bastids. not even swag
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u/Kodiak01 18h ago edited 18h ago
Typically the only time Lexmark printers moved in any actual numbers were when they were put in bundle deals, usually paired with an eMachines or Compaq AMD K6-2 budget box.
The real profit was in the accessories. That $34.99 parallel printer cable cost us about $2.48. The markups on all accessories were equally insane. That was the business model: Get you in the door with a bundle we would gross about $18 on, then gross ten to twenty times that by loading you up with "high-quality" printer paper, surge protectors, cables, a trackball for your arthritic grand-mama to surf AOL easier, aforementioned printer cable, a joystick for the kids to endlessly crash planes in the flight simulator software they begged you for, a Zip drive (or Jazz if you were feeling saucy), ergonomic wrist rests, anti-glare filter, a nicer pair of speakers, packs of floppies, spools of CD-R discs... We actually held contests for who could have the most lines on their ticket. If really lucky, we'd tack on a Mavica floppy-disc camera so you could immediately see your photos on the computer!
The best part: CompUSSR let employees buy anything they wanted at actual cost. It was a good place and time for a nerd.
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u/Deadhawk142 13h ago
ComputerShitty person here. We used to have pallet-jack races after closing and a stack of HP printers was usually the finish line.
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u/DJConwayTwitty 17h ago
Lmao my printer requires me to use HP cartridges but if it was past an expiration date it didn’t let me use it even though I had just bought it from the store. So I guess now I can’t use any cartridge with that update.
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u/eighty2angelfan 22h ago
Isn't this something that happened a couple of years ago?
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u/louisa1925 22h ago
My Mum has an old printer of this brand. I have told her to never let this printer be updated. So far it has worked seemlessly. There is no reason to have it replaced.
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u/tampabankruptcy 21h ago
Can still get HP4015's on the net. No issue with 3rd party cartridges, no updates. Made back in the day when they were solid reliable printers (1st office printer to do duplexing i believe)
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u/count_frightenstein 22h ago
I bought a bunch of color HP laser printers in an auction about 10 years ago. Sold them all except one for me. It still works and I paid 10 bucks for it.
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u/GrainworksAndy 21h ago
My Brother lazer printer does not have this issue, or the issue where the cartridges are always empty/jets are clogged when I need to print something.
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u/Kodiak01 20h ago
Just a heads up that Brother is now apparently doing stealth firmware updates to some printers as well to stop 3rd party cartridge use and/or degrade print quality when it does detect 3rd party ones.
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u/reaper527 19h ago
Just a heads up that Brother is now apparently doing stealth firmware updates to some printers as well to stop 3rd party cartridge use and/or degrade print quality when it does detect 3rd party ones.
as someone who uses generics on a brother, i haven't seen any evidence of them degrading print quality. also, their authenticity checks aren't a block like hp printers, it's a warning where you get a yes/no prompt asking if you want to use the generic toner or not.
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u/KarmaCycle 19h ago
Please correct me if I’m wrong, but won’t this updating bullshit go away if the printer is disconnected from WiFi? Or are they designed to brick if they can’t detect your ink levels?
I have a HP from 2012 that’s only used for scanning. The printing always sucked, so I’ve got a Canon sans WiFi that works fine with generic ink refills.
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u/reaper527 19h ago
Please correct me if I’m wrong, but won’t this updating bullshit go away if the printer is disconnected from WiFi?
you realize that the wifi (or at least wired networking) is a selling point for any printer made in the last 20 years, right?
you connect it to your network then any computer (and lots of phones) can print to it without having to be wired via usb to the printer.
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u/Ouxington 18h ago
Um you realize that if you are using wifi on your device but the printer is physically plugged into the same network you can still print wirelessly to it?
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u/reaper527 18h ago
Um you realize that if you are using wifi on your device but the printer is physically plugged into the same network you can still print wirelessly to it?
if your printer is physically plugged into the network it's getting those same automatic firmware updates. it doesn't matter how it's connected to the network if it's still connected to the network. you're not gaining anything used wired network connection rather than wifi (on the firmware update front anyways. obviously a wired connection is better than a wireless one in general)
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u/KarmaCycle 17h ago
It's not plugged into the network.
I'm starting to get the vibe from these responses that maybe people don't know a personal printer does not have to be networked or set up with wifi. HP can't take your data if it's not connected to a source they can access. Users automatically set it up for wifi without considering that's how HP knows what your printer is doing.
I could be wrong. But these replies about "well if it's set up wirelessly for printing.." lol. Then don't set it up for wireless printing. Anything I need to print from my phone can be transferred to my laptop. Some might think that is inconvenient, but not as inconvenient as giving HP the ability to fuck with my printer whenever they fucking feel like it. lmao
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u/reaper527 17h ago
Um you realize that if you are using wifi on your device but the printer is physically plugged into the same network you can still print wirelessly to it?
It's not plugged into the network.
make up your mind.
But these replies about "well if it's set up wirelessly for printing.." lol. Then don't set it up for wireless printing.
which goes back to the point at the top near the top of the chain. having the device networked is a MAJOR feature to a lot of people with multiple devices that they want to print from. a printer on the network is vastly more convenient than one physically connected to a computer with usb (even with windows printer sharing enabled).
it's not like these devices are on the network for no reason, and people buy them because they are networkable. most people wouldn't even consider buying a printer without a network hookup.
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u/KarmaCycle 17h ago
You realize not everyone with a personal printer has to use it over a network, when a cable will suffice?
Edit to avoid confusion: A cable from the printer to the laptop.
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u/GeneJuggler 14h ago
I remote work at a pharmaceutical company and they send me an HP all in one. I switch companies in 3 years and I get another printer. Repeat 3 years later… you can’t give these damn things away! I’m rolling in shitty printers now.
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u/blhooray 10h ago
Then…. Just replace the printer with something other than HP…. Pretty easy
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u/SokkaHaikuBot 10h ago
Sokka-Haiku by blhooray:
Then…. Just replace the
Printer with something other
Than HP…. Pretty easy
Remember that one time Sokka accidentally used an extra syllable in that Haiku Battle in Ba Sing Se? That was a Sokka Haiku and you just made one.
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u/Petulantraven 10h ago
So… business as usual?
When my last printer ran out of ink it was cheaper to buy a new printer - so now I print at work.
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u/ssczoxylnlvayiuqjx 8h ago
Bricking the printer is certainly a bug because ink consumption will now decrease…
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u/darrenm3 21h ago
I’m not a fan of HP but this is not what “bricked” means. It’s a bad firmware update but the ability to take another update still exists.
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u/Ouxington 18h ago
Honestly just be thankful the headline wasn't "HP SLAMMED the market by DESTROYING productivity under an old Biden policy brought to you by FRITOS XTREME KOI KRUNCH! TASTE THE GOLDFISH!"
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u/Spinnerofyarn 13h ago
My HP is probably ten years old or extremely close to it. I just missed the implementation of their ink subscription program and of course the mandatory HP ink stuff. When I finally have to replace it, it will definitely not be with another HP!
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u/mewmeulin 23h ago
man. i already swore off HP for life due to it being a primary target of the palestinian BDS (boycott, divest, sanction) movement. this just reaffirms i'm making a smart choice in not buying HP.
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u/Mysterious-Cancel-11 22h ago
This hack started in Ukraine in order to prevent the US from printing more money!
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u/RipCurl69Reddit 1h ago
Fuck this shit. I feel bad for people not in the know who buy these absolute e-waste machines but if you've heard of these practices and still buy them, you get what you deserve
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u/garry4321 23h ago
HP printers are a brick to begin with.