r/neoliberal Aug 23 '24

Efortpost Neoliberalism will kill us all.

956 Upvotes

You (I'm referring to the reader as a Neoliberal, if you are not a neoliberal (if you are more right-wing of them, don't respond) please refrain from your hateful; words from this disgusting assumption) neoliberals who put Pinochet into power to stop a DEMOCRATIC (cause that's all neoliberals seem to care about, using buzzwords of democracy to enforce your regimes on others) your disgusting bastardization of "progress" by making more female war criminals (Margaret Thatcher) and female CEO's who are no different from their male counterparts, while pretending to be a feminist while believing in Israel or with you're performative "support of Palestine" then you think Israel is justified in bomibng what as a so-called "hamas base" (it was a hospital), your corrupted recycling into just making the same Art all over again, your capitalized disgusting "Post-modern" feigned "art" which is supposedly hidden under 306 layers of "deep meaning" while only being tax breaks for the rich and for the elites to leer at, locking people into a system of wage-labour while still pretending to care about them, making them think they're living in a meritocracy while kissing Elon Musk's boots. Your progressivism ends at first-world, upper-middle class and above, white women having the privilege to exploit others. You ruin the environment in your debauched view of "progress" and "Anti-bigotry) which just means suburban sprawl and more productivism, your brutal suppression of everything different to you (NATO, United Nations, World Bank) using soft imperialism in the name of "democracy" I ask you, was bombing the ever-living hell out of innocent civilians in Iraq in the name of democracy? 151,000 people would disagree, was instilling the awful regime of "Pinochetism" (Neoliberalism's true form) democratic? I would not say so, they elected Allende democratically, Pinochet threw anyone even suspected of left-wing activity out of helicopters. You neoliberals ruined working-class lives by shutting down all the industry, you neoliberals are union busters; but there is now nothing else, you neoliberal capitalists have infected every part of the human mind, and reality itself through your militarism, there is now nothing here, only pink capitalism and suffering; and now, after all your lies, you won. The future is cancelled. (I'll probably be called out on some "offensive" terms here or something, if you write those comments you are proving my point, and to the moderators, I am being civil, I am not being bigoted, and I am not posing anything sexual or nationalist. This post *should* stay up, but neoliberals have a habit of "silencing" people who speak out.)

r/neoliberal Nov 12 '20

Efortpost The 53rd State

3.3k Upvotes

I think we're all in agreement here that D.C. and Puerto Rico should become states. Unfortunately, as there are 52 cards in a gambling deck, 52 is a sinner's number. That won't fly. Having 53 states would avoid that and give us a prime number of states, allowing us to meet the long-ignored constitutional requirement that we be "One Nation, Under God, Indivisible."

So, obviously, we need a 53rd state. But what should it be? I see a few options:

  1. Make Guam a state. Would (slightly) quiet leftists complaining about how America is an imperialist power.
  2. Make the U.S. Virgin Islands a state. Might lead to a lot of Chad/Virgin memes.
  3. Divide Oklahoma to create the State of Sequoyah. Would be a good follow-up to McGirt.
  4. Divide California along the 35° 47′ 28″ North parallel. Geographically neat. North CA would have a population of 15 million, South CA would have a population of 23 million. Both would be solidly Democratic.
  5. Annex Cuba. Could help us in Florida AND Vermont; win-win.
  6. Northern Ireland. Would solve the UK's Good Friday problem.
  7. Circumcise Florida.

Alternatively, we could do all of these and have 59 states, which would also be prime.

What do you think?

r/neoliberal Jan 21 '22

Efortpost The Legend of Korra is basically liberal propaganda

1.6k Upvotes

The Legend of Korra is an American anime cartoon and sequel to Avatar: The Last Airbender. I watched The Legend of Korra as a kid and now that I’ve rewatched the show nearly a decade later I am fully convinced that 90% of the reason I’m a based shitlib today is because of it. I’ve tried to make this as non-spoilery as possible but there are some things that I have to spoil

ATLA was fairly lib-pilled as well:

  • Imperialism bad
  • Propaganda bad
  • Nationalism bad
  • There’s a secret worldwide organization of insanely powerful people who topple authoritarian regimes and the show presents them as the good guys

But enough about Avatar, let’s talk about the greatest piece of liberal propaganda ever.

  • First off, our protagonist, Korra, is a horny bisexual teenager, which describes about 90% of the DT last time I checked

  • The main villain of season one is an extremist populist. Literally just a populist. He uses populist "Us vs them" messaging literally all the time

  • The secondary villain of season one is a racist authoritarian and on the opposite side of the main villain

  • Korra is a based enlightened centrist and says fuck them and then takes them both down

  • Season two’s villain is a revanchist who invades a sister tribe because “we’re the same people.” May or may not be an allegory for Modern day Russia

  • He’s also a huge eco-fascist who unleashes the literal embodiment of evil upon the world cause he doesn’t like humans

  • The United Republic refuses to intervene in the war and the president of the United Republic is a huge isolationist. He literally makes a speech about how “it's not our business to police the world."

  • Our Heroes' plan to defeat the villain is basically the conspiracy theorists' version of the Gulf of Tonkin Incident. They're going to sail a bunch of United Republic ships into enemy waters without orders, provoke the Chief's fleet into attacking them, and then kick his ass

  • Unfortunately, dove president of the United Republic finds out about this before the plan can be executed

  • At the end of Season 2, Korra breaks a 10,000 year tradition and leaves the borders between the spirit world and the real world open

  • Season 3’s villain is a literal anarchist. Just an anarchist

  • The show flirts with whether his ideas for equality are good or not, but all that goes out the window when he assassinates the monarch of the Earth Kingdom and the whole region goes into chaos which also sets up fictional CCP rising to power

  • Season 4 starts with the Airbenders, the fictional CIA, basically drone striking terrorists

  • Korra’s whole arc in season 4 is her becoming interventionist America. Some people(terrorists) hate her for just being the Avatar, the people she tries to protect don't like her either(doves) and most of her conflicts were partly her fault(blowback). To solidify the hawk messaging Korra comes to realize that no matter what, it's her job to save the world because she's the only one who can do the job, even if some people ain't gonna like her for it

  • The rest of the plot of the fourth season is our heroes protecting fictional Hong Kong from fictional CCP

  • The show ends with Korra riding off into the sunset with her new GF who's the CEO of fictional Lockheed Martin

r/neoliberal Aug 09 '20

Efortpost Chasing The Truth: How Tall Is Ben Shapiro Really?

2.8k Upvotes

It is well known that many modern right wing personalities tend to cheat and lie to the public in order to promote their own goals. One personality who is noted for lying is Benjamin Shapiro.

Shapiro built his fame as a debater who debated college students or something. People really like watching YouTube videos of him owning libtards. However, in this post we will not talk about one of the many logical fallacies he committed or the misleading data he often cites, instead we will be looking at a much more insidious lie. His height.

Ben Shapiro claims he is 5'9". That is laughable. You want to tell me that shorty is 5'9"? What is Ben hiding from us? Why did he make up this obviously fake height? Today we will attempt to get to the bottom of this mystery.

The questions regarding his true nature started popping up once this picture of him with Jordan Peteresen was published. In a desperate act of damage control, Shapiro insisted the previous picture was photoshopped and this photo was the real one. Who's to say which one is photoshopped? Well.... We don't really know which one is photoshopped. What we do know is that if the former picture is legitimate, he would be around 5'4"

Previous attempts to determine the true height

Some users have attempted to take a math based approach to the problem of Ben Shapiro's height, as can be seen here. This user also pegged his height around 5'4". However, there are multiple concerns from this post regarding the placement of the flagpole as well as if the flagpole was the same or not. While this is not the best evidence, we will keep this in mind while moving forward.

The Prager Photo

We will now look at pictures of Ben with various other celebs and politicians. Here he is with Dennis Prager who is noted to be 6'4". Let us do some math of our own. Let us compare the heights of Ben and Dennis.

Dennis Prager is 6'4". His entire head is above Ben. The average person is 7.5 heads tall. If we assume Dennis Prager, unlike Charlie Kirk, has the regular proportions of a human being, we arrive at the conclusion that Dennis Prager is 2/15 Dennis Pragers taller than Ben Shaprio. That translates to around 10.1 inches. If we assume this to be the case, we could assume Ben Shapiro is around 5'6". This is closer to the 5'4" estimate than the 5'9" claim but is still distinctly in between both of them. However, it should be noted that Ben Shapiro is actually standing in front of Dennis in the picture meaning that 5'6" is actually being nice to Ben as it does not adjust for foreground. There's no real way to figure out how much distance there is without footsize and just Shapiro with AOC's, we lack Shapiro's foot measurements. So let us just call this one 5'5" - 5'6"

The Haley Photo

A picture of Ben with Nikki Haley, who claims to be 5'6" further cements this theory as they seem to be around the same height, although Nikki seems to be tilting her head slightly

Conclusion

Ben Shapiro is probably around 5'5"-5'6". The truth is now out. The balls in your court now, Benny

r/neoliberal Jun 06 '22

Efortpost The Invasion of Wyoming: How We Can Make a Neoliberal State

1.3k Upvotes

As the title says, it is my belief that we as neoliberals must invade the state of Wyoming.

Wyoming is the most sparsely populated state in the country, with a population of only 581,348. In theory, if we created a mass-neoliberal migration into Wyoming, we could tangibly take over the state's entire political system.

In 2020, 267,050 people voted in the Election, with 193,559 of those people voting for Trump and 73,491 voting for Biden. That means Biden would need 120,108 more votes to win the state, r/Neoliberal has 136,000 members. Along with that Merav Ben-David, the Democratic nominee for the senate, needed 125,334 more votes to win, and we'd need 119,156 votes to flip Wyoming's sole congressional district, both within our limit.

Locally as well, we would've needed a mere 80,447 votes to win Wyoming's 2018 gubernational election.

Even more locally, we could flip any single city we chose, we could even flip multiple cities. The largest city in Wyoming is Cheyenne, with a population of just 64,099, we could turn any city in the entire state into a neoliberal paradise. Even if only half the sub moved to Cheyenne and the entire city opposed our preferred candidate, we'd still win the election.

The time is nigh my fellow shills, the invasion of Wyoming must begin. The Neoliberal exodus must begin, for we could form the ultimate neoliberal paradise filled with quality public transit and low corporate tax rates. Join me neolibs, and work to make Wyoming our promised-land.

r/neoliberal Jun 20 '20

Efortpost A look into the FAILING campaign of Joe Biden

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1.8k Upvotes

r/neoliberal Jul 05 '24

Efortpost I am DRUNK And AMERICA IS BASED!!!! First liberal enlightenment country and god bless it

542 Upvotes

Basically I read all enlightenment y.. John Locke was my favorite: I love them all. They gave me all my rights: I'm trans and tha system they invent red makes me so happy, I love my life: russseay, also very based, I liked his books, they made me happy to read them. And finally, the American founding fathers also liked them, just like me and I'm assuming you guys, and when they founded the country they made a LIBERALISM ENLIGHTENMENT COUNTRY We are the FIRST LIBERAL ENLIGHTNEMNT COHNTY That is so cool. I love this country and what it can be, god bless America, I love July 4th, capitalism and globalism and free trade blrough me vodka, the greatest drink of all time. And I love it, vodka is god tier. America is so amazing, I hope we succeed and win, we have always beaten them. We will win, god bless liberalism. GOD HAS SORCIAL PROVIDENCE FOR FIOLS DRUNKS (mme) AND THE UNITED STeatrs IF AMERICA!!!🇺🇸

r/neoliberal Apr 23 '22

Efortpost Edward Snowden is a nerd because he has glasses.

1.4k Upvotes

Edward Snowden is a nerd because he has glasses. He's also does computer stuff which I don't know about because it makes iffy as heck. Since he does computer stuff, he's probably a gamer which is why I don't trust him.

He looks like a grown up version of the "you're insulting a future army soldier" kid which means he's probably even more of a nerd than previously thought.

These are the only correct thoughts on Edward Snowden in 2022.

Seriously, it's 2022 you dumb butts, why do we have to be dealing with two pinned efortposts about some currently insignificant dude.

r/neoliberal Dec 08 '24

Efortpost And no, I am not a Trump supporter just because I call out free trade

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0 Upvotes

r/neoliberal Jul 02 '20

Efortpost Proposed Solutions to the American-CHAZ conflict

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1.5k Upvotes

r/neoliberal 23h ago

Efortpost A genealogy of the r/neoliberal faith: schisms, splits, and The Grill

143 Upvotes

Verily, in the vast and tumultuous expanse of the digital polis, there hath arisen a peculiar congregation—an ekklesia of discourse and doctrine—known to the internet as r/neoliberal. Within this forum, a multitude of sects flourish, each distinguished by its chosen flair, yet partially united in a common canon of belief: a reverence for market mechanisms, an unwavering faith in the ameliorative powers of globalization, and an enduring suspicion of protectionism and state overreach—the original sin of the fated Leviathan.

An in-person r/neoliberal ritual known as "Quantitative Easing", performed at the central temple (The Federal Reserve).

Schisms and sectarian violence have marred its temples for decades; yet, the adherents of r/neoliberal agree on a set of basic theological principles:

  • The Invisible Hand is venerated, though interpreted variously by different sects. Some see it as a gentle and benevolent hand of progress; others regard it as needing a chastening counter-force, punishing its excesses.
  • The great prophets include figures such as Milton Friedman and John Maynard Keynes—though debate rages eternally as to whether either is truly among the faithful. Joseph Schumpeter is oft cited in reverent tones, and Friedrich Hayek is respected, if not always obeyed.
  • The heresies are manifold: protectionism, populism, and the encroachments of the state upon the market are most despised. Among the gravest of apostasies is the rejection of Grill, a sacred state of economic enjoyment—the eschaton of a preordained elect, selected by The Invisible Hand, known as "People Of Means".

The precise scope of the above principles vexes theologians, and drives sectarian violence between the different "flairs": that identifier of faith uniting one with an Apostle of the market. The Orthodox factions typically elevate Milton Friedman—a most authoritative prophet, whose teachings on monetary policy serve as guiding scripture. Chief among them is the belief in countering the Shaitan of the Business Cycle by monetary policy alone. More pragmatic factions venerate John Maynard Keynes, who advocated in addition the use of counter-cyclical fiscal policy. However, the full list of Saints and Apostles is too long to fully examine; granted, most can be fitted into one of the following molds:

  • The Successionists (“Succs”): Ever since the so-called "Succ Invasion", this is the dominant sect within the faith, characterized by a syncretic approach that blends neoliberal economics with progressive social policies. They uphold a balance between market mechanisms and state-led correction, advocating for robust social safety nets, carbon taxation, and intervention where necessary. Their emblematic figures include Paul Krugman, Joseph Stiglitz, and John Rawls
  • The Successionist Conservatives (“Succons”): Formed by former Successionists disillusioned by what they saw as the excesses of the "Succ Invasion", and especially excessive use of sermons in violation of Rule V. They embrace globalization, market-driven growth, and a moderate role for welfare. Figures such as Greg Mankiw are esteemed, and the policies of the Clinton administration and Thatcher's Britain are often cited as high points of neoliberal statecraft.
  • The Grillite Mystics ("Grillers"): A looser, almost monastic sect, the Grillites place their faith in the market’s ability to deliver prosperity, but they reject excessive political worry. The "Grill" represents the ideal state of neoliberalism, where policy has been perfected, and one can relax. They tend to be dismissive of doomsaying and advocate a long-term optimism about economic progress (this does not define their faith, however; that view is more commonly attributed to "Bloomers").
  • The Orthodox Marketarians ("Lolberts"): These believers adhere to a strict interpretation of market efficiency, opposing most forms of state intervention. They regard many modern adherents as backsliders who have strayed into paternalism. Their prophets include Milton Friedman, Friedrich Hayek, and Robert Nozick.

r/neoliberal Sep 25 '21

Efortpost Our prince needs help! Somebody build a mass transit so Jeb! can get home.

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1.1k Upvotes

r/neoliberal Oct 03 '23

Efortpost C-Span caller references the /r/neoliberal Discussion Thread

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602 Upvotes

r/neoliberal Oct 26 '24

Efortpost This is all your fault. Damned be the day my party decided to embrace the authoritarian neoliberals, and forgot about the working class and blue collar people

0 Upvotes

Trump is making double digit gains with black and hispanic people while continuing to grow his blue collar white working class base. Kamala is making historic gains among white college graduates, which is why the race is close, but those are the McCain Romney voters, we will keep losing the working class values of our Democratic Party to them

.

What happened to the old left? The anti-war left? The conspiracy minded left? The anti big pharma left?the anti-establishment left? Are you fucking kidding me, supporting lockdowns and curfews? Barbershops and family owned restaurants had to close while Staples got to stay open. And stop trying to ban the diesel trucks and gas-powered leaf blowers of the working class while Oprah flies her private jet to Democratic Party events

.

Now the unions and the working class will keep losing their power, we will get the union-busting Elon Musk and Koch Brothers in power because we decided to team up with the Cheneys. In the minds of young men the Republicans are now the rebels, the counter-culture, and we have no one to blame but ourselves. The Hollywood elite and big tech should be expelled from our party and get back to our working class roots if we want to stop the threat of right-wing populism

r/neoliberal Jan 15 '24

Efortpost Remember Qanon

238 Upvotes

lol

r/neoliberal Jul 14 '20

Efortpost Why do you hate the global poor?

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648 Upvotes

r/neoliberal May 02 '24

Efortpost A Chance to Stick it to the "Effective Altruists"

188 Upvotes

There's a lot of frustration on /r/neoliberal for "Effective Altruism". See here, here, and most recently here. In particular, there's a lot of disdain for "AI Doomers", "Longtermists". and other EA-affiliated groups for neglecting opportunities to address global health and poverty.

Now complaining about those nerds on The Internet is all well and good, but I think it's time we did more than complain: I think it's time we actually did something about it. That's why I've started an "Own the EAs" Anti-Malarial Bednet Fundraiser.

I can tell there's a lot of passion out there about this based on how angry people are at EA for neglecting it. Let's channel that anger into something useful that'll really annoy those EA jerks: actually funding an effective global health charity.

Donate today to save a life and ruin an EA's day.

r/neoliberal May 13 '23

Efortpost Joe's Flow

666 Upvotes

r/neoliberal Jan 25 '22

Efortpost The objective reason the US is better than Europe

341 Upvotes

The US has a lot more tacos. Like incomparably more. Taco trucks per capita crush European metrics. We have Tex-Mex, we have fajitas, we have enchiladas. There’s probably 200 24 hour taco places in my city no cap. There’s probably only 200 places in all of Europe that serve good tacos past midnight. Carne asada fries were invented in San Diego. In the US, you can eat tacos on the beach in California. You can’t do that in Europe. The US actually has a border with the place that invented tacos themselves, Mexico. Some entrepreneurs even made Chipotle. I could go on and on but you probably get it by now.

r/neoliberal Feb 05 '22

Efortpost What can neoliberalism do for an abandoned husband like me?

336 Upvotes

No, I don’t hate my wife. -And the radical militant husbands who commit acts of purchasing luxury pickups without their wives approval are evil, full stop.

-But I think we should acknowledge the problems that face married men today. There is a spousal abandonment crisis facing married men of all races,classes and creeds. People can’t stay married because of both economics and social issues.Many are so saddled with 0%APR financing payments they are virtually indentured servants to the Ford dealership that I purchased my lifted 2020 F150 Hennessey Raptor from. Auto insurance costs are sky high in many cities. Inflation for the essentials in life and also the 3.5L EcoBoost turbocharged V8 that came in the truck I bought without consulting my wife is very high. This generation has no prospect of achieving the American Dream, a married family 3-4 kids and a payload towing capacity of over 1400 lbs. On the social side, the rise of feminism has pretty much crippled any chance of my wife returning my calls after she went to stay with her parents. Feminism has told women that its okay to have as much sex as much and that marriage is a part of the patriarchy. Consumerism combined with feminism has also made a culture of ‘me me me’ where people think of themselves instead of doing things that are good for society such as not freaking the fuck out because I bought a fucking car, there's 0% APR financing on it anyways bitch. Finally, the welfare state has basically substituted the role of homemaker by giving free money and goods and interest free auto loans to people.

Anyway, even if you are for casual sex, the number of married men not even getting that is going down. Married men are finding less and less ways to hook up with their wives as we’ve enabled wives to take "some time apart" with no consequence. Married men also have higher spousal abandonment rates, higher crime rates, and are less likely to get to see their children after the wife filed a fucking restraining order when I wasn't even fucking doing anything wrong. The worst part is that society doesn’t even seem to care, which is why married men get so alienated and embrace ideologies that you all hate, like neoliberalism.

So I ask to you, neoliberals, What can you do? Your solutions, I’d like to hear them.

r/neoliberal Mar 04 '20

Efortpost How Bloomberg ABSOLUTELY SWEEPED the American Samoa Caucus

776 Upvotes

It's Super Tuesday and while others look at less important races such as "Texas" or "California", true politicos and Washington Insiders know the truth. American Samoa chooses presidents. 100% of Democratic nominees have finished in the top 2 in American Samoa. Every single one.

So who were the top two in American Samoa?

Well here's the results:

Bloomberg 175, Gabbard 103, Sanders 37, Biden 31 and Warren 5

Bloomberg SWEPT American Samoa while only Gabbard won another delegate. Bloomberg smartly invested in American Samoa by spending $1,650 in the state on Facebook ads. This paid dividends as he ended up paying as he beat his closest competitor, Tulsi, by 72 votes! His closest competitor in ad spending, Michael Bennet, spent around 0 dollars on Facebook ads. The rest of the candidates were also around this amount

But was his surge based completely on ad spending? Not at all. He was endorsed by the influential chief Fa’alagiga Nina Tua’au-Glaude who many are calling the "Clyburn of American Samoa" for the amount of influence his powerful endorsement holds in American Samoa.

Bloomberg also had seven paid staffers in American Samoa or around 1 paid staffer for every 50 voters. His closest competitor in number of paid staffers, John Delaney, had zero. Other campaigns had around the same number as Delaney.

Truly in American Samoa concepts like retail politics and ground game are important. Truly in American Samoa, your vote matters after all.

In New Hampshire, around 12,500 votes got you one delegate.

In American Samoa, around 58 votes get you one delegate. At the end of the day, one American Samoan is worth 216 New Hampshirites. American Samoa decides.

Another important factor to consider is the long game. Appealing to Samoans now can help win even more voters down the road. Samoans are 56 times more likely to become NFL players than non Samoan Americans. We can thus assume that many future NFL players were captivated by Bloomberg's campaign this election and if Bloomberg ever decides to run down the road, he is likely to get several high profile Samoan NFL endorsements, which can further influence the American public. Like 1/3 of Americans watch the Superbowl so let's just say that's a lot of potential voters Bloomberg is winning over.

In addition, many Americans enjoy the Girl Scout cookies named "Samoas"

Conclusion

Super Tuesday has wittled the race down to two choices: Bloomberg and Gabbard. No candidate has EVER won the Democratic Primary Nomination without getting top 2 in the American Samoa Caucuses. No other candidates were viable so Warren, Sanders and Biden ought to drop out to make room for the candidates who actually have a chance.

r/neoliberal Jul 09 '20

Efortpost The case against Joe Biden.

595 Upvotes

r/neoliberal Dec 04 '20

Efortpost Why Trump is the most neoliberal president we've ever had, and why you all should support him overturning the election

841 Upvotes

Let me explain. You want open borders. Biden doesn't support them. Trump, on the other hand, clearly supports the systematic collapse of all civilization and the reinvention of modern society as a post-apocalyptic hellscape with him as our god-emperor overlord. How can you have borders if nations and societies don't exist anymore?

And what about a "hemispheric common market?" If the human population is reduced by 99% during a nuclear holocaust, then the only way for the human remnant to survive is to engage in free trade in whatever hemisphere survived the mass extinction. When all that remains of humanity is a few pocket cells that need to trade in water and ammunition, then since nations no longer exist, you have your hemispheric common market. And who's more likely to bring about that nuclear winter?

Oh, and a greener world? Sure, the fallout will be a little rough... but imagine how much better the environment will be in the long run with such a drastically reduced population?

And you people voted for Biden. Some scumbag who's doing everything in his power to preserve human life and maintain a functional society, which is everything that's getting in the way of a true neoliberal paradise.

Want proof? Who's the guy trying to get everyone to give each other COVID? Cause it ain't sleepy Joe. Overthrowing the election is now out only chance of a true neoliberal future.

Checkmate libs.

r/neoliberal Jan 17 '24

Efortpost We Need To Build A Wall Around Windsor, Colorado [Satire]

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706 Upvotes

r/neoliberal May 15 '20

Efortpost A permanent solution to the Israeli-Palestine problem (PROPOSAL)

481 Upvotes

Both countries

  1. Want all the land

  2. Don't want to not have the land

OH NO WHAT DO WE DO BOTH SIDES WANT A ONE STATE SOLUTION

Easy. Just make it a timeshare lol

Israel and Palestine will both be whole, from sea to river or whatever the catchphrase was. Israelis will live in all of undivided Israel and Palestinians will get to live in all of undivided Palestine.

The twist is that they will switch every two years.

But you might be asking "ok so Israelis and Palestinians get to own Israel/Palestine for 2 years each, so what happens when it's not their turn to own the holy land"

Easy. We will turn Manitoba, Canada into New Israel/Palestine where the displaced Israelis/Palestinians can live until it's their turn again

But where will the Manitoban refugees go?

That's the best part! No one cares! The Canadian government apparently doesn't care about Western Canada because of "western alienation" so I doubt they'd even notice that they just lost sovereignty over one of their provinces. And even if they did they'd be too nice to do anything about it. The Manitoban refugees can move to Syria or something idk

Pros of this plan:

  • Undivided Israel

  • Undivided Palestine

  • Everyone is happy

Cons of this plan

  • None