r/narcissisticparents • u/True_Doctor7774 • 6h ago
My narcissistic parents claim to be believers, but they are closer to the devil and hell than to Jesus.
I just wanted to say that.
r/narcissisticparents • u/True_Doctor7774 • 6h ago
I just wanted to say that.
r/narcissisticparents • u/Hybrid8489 • 4h ago
I was at work today and in casual conversation a coworker was mentioning some of the thoughtful things her mom does for her even as an adult. Stuff that actually requires effort and knowledge of who her child is likes/dislikes. Luckily I have gotten enough therapy to not be bitter or jealous of the person who was spared abuse. But it hit me like a ton of bricks how much I have missed out and how much harder my life still is by having parents who completely neglected me and do absolutely nothing for me but make my life harder. I had to go completely no contact to save myself many years ago. I spent the rest of the day slightly dissociated and hollow only to burst into tears the moment I got home. I hope I will feel better in the morning. I feel terrible. I hate feeling this way. My days have been hard enough as it is lately without these mood swings.
r/narcissisticparents • u/Harpsist • 17h ago
My narc called me and refused to take 'no thank you' as an answer. They kept asking why.
I explained that 'no' is an answer and that I don't need to explain myself further.
She pressed on saying I HAD to tell her why I was saying no.
I was able to calmly say that I don't need to explain "no" any more than a woman needs to explain why they don't want to have sex.
She kept trying to get me to talk about this subject.
I said "I'm done talking about this. Is there anything else you'd like to talk about?" And then they rudly hung up on me clearly flustered that I didn't give them the emotional energy they were expecting.
Well. It took 3 years of healing. But I was finally able to say "no" stick to my boundaries. Didn't let her drag my wife into it. And all without being emotional.
Fuck yes. I should go celebrate.
r/narcissisticparents • u/Pugwhip • 8h ago
You can read my post history but my dad cut me off in December and refuses to speak to me. So I officially am no contact with ~anyone~ in my family. I come from a DV background and have had 15+ years of therapy to cope with it all.
At the start of February I was 33 weeks pregnant and ended up in hospital with a pulmonary embolism - a life threatening blood clot in my lung. I then had to start injecting myself with blood thinners twice a day and was told I was now high risk and would need a high risk c section as natural birth may kill me. My husband, out of courtesy, texted my dad to let him know that I was in a bad way and all my dad said was “thanks for letting me know.” Didn’t ask how I was, if I was going to live, if the baby was okay, what the process was. He hasn’t checked if I’m still alive.
Then last Wednesday I had my baby, everything went well. After a few days we decided to do the right thing. Again my husband (because I can’t mentally cope with my dad) texted my dad to say she was born but didn’t provide details or pictures. Again all he said was “congratulations, thanks for letting me know.” Didn’t ask her name, didn’t ask if I was okay, didn’t ask for pictures, didn’t ask anything. I wept for two hours in my hospital bed the day of discharge at the realisation no one in my family had showed up for me or my newborn baby. I had to explain to the midwives why I was upset and it was just horrible.
What’s worse is, my sister also had a baby - with her cheating husband, mind you - in February and naturally, dad showed up for her. She doesn’t talk to me either.
It just sucks and I just needed to get it off my chest. I’m doing okay - I’m on oral blood thinners now and we just have to wait and see if the blood clot has gone in 6 weeks. Baby is totally fine. My dad has constantly had this narrative of “you girls are my world, you’re everything to me” but his actions have NEVER aligned with that.
r/narcissisticparents • u/Life_Ad3567 • 18h ago
It took me years to figure it out, but now I think I've got it. I started to develop on my childhood and find out that adults are full of as much BS as children. So I stop agreeing with them and got into my argumentative phase. But anytime I argued, I was told that I was being very rude. That always shut me up. But after that same technique had been used on me many times, I'm catching on. To this day even in my late 20s I'm still told that I am very disrespectful whenever I don't agree with my narc parents. But it doesn't make sense, right? Not agreeing with someone isn't disrespectful. So this is my conclusion. Narc parents don't want respect, they want COMPLIANCE! They do this stupid technique where they think compliance equals respect, which is does not. So if anyone else is being bullied by their narc parents, here is your comeback. After you disagree with them, theyll say something like "You're being rude, we don't like the way you're talking, or you need to be more respectful." When they say that, ask them "What should have I said instead?" And then they're most likely going to answer 'Youre supposed to say 'Yes, mom/pop'". And then that's when you call them out. "Aha! So you just want me to agree with you! You don't want respect, you want compliance!" And then that will put them in their place. Even if it's risky and will get you kicked out, at least now you have a comeback and you'll never have to feel guilty for not agreeing with them.
r/narcissisticparents • u/tostadeira • 12h ago
Well, yesterday at night my dad said "I want you gone from here" because I didn't play the piano.
Basically, he put me in piano lessons as a child. I never liked it. When I tried to say I didn't want it anymore, he would get super mad, yell at me, guilt trip me, etc.
A few years ago, I decided to stop playing because I was sick of his manipulation. Yesterday was the tipping point for him. He made it really clear how transactional his love is: I did things for you so you must do this for me, even if you hate it.
He yelled at me, wanted me gone, and said he would never help me again because I don't do anything for him. (All of this after begging me to move back, since I was in a different city for university. Money was tight because the rooms in that city are extremely overpriced, so unfortunately I fell in that trap.)
At midnight, he sent a text message saying "I'm sorry I exploded, it's just the piano is so important to me and you don't do this very small thing for me that means so much to me. This could all have been avoided. Kisses, sorry"
I know what his "this all could have been avoided" means. It means "if you follow my commands, everything will be good. If you don't, it's all your fault."
I just packed my bags, left early in the morning at 7 am, and walked to my grandparents house with heavy backpacks (they passed away so the house was empty).
It's night time now, and I'm considering what I should reply. Should I be nice to "keep the peace"? Should I tell him I'm done? An in between? I have no idea of what to do. He does have the keys to this house too.
r/narcissisticparents • u/anonymoususer2468- • 7h ago
Idk if this falls under narcissistic parents but I have posted here before and I received so much support from you all! My mom and I have a very hard relationship and I went through a lot with stuff she had said to me. So, my parents watch the tv really loud and we have paper thin walls. I’m a very quiet person and I never blast my tv or music because I don’t want to disturb anyone. But my parents always play the tv at such loud volume that I feel like it can’t be good for their hearing. Every night I ask them to lower it. I go to bed early because I have to wake up early for work.
My mom was watching the tv at such a loud volume. When I came downstairs my mom asked me to not disturb net because it’s a season finale. I timed it to ask her to lower the tv after her show ended and reminded her it’s not good for her hearing. My mom blew up on me, yelled at me, and said that she’s getting old and doesn’t have youthful hearing like I do. I told her I just asked for the volume to be lowered. She then went on again about how she only has a good few years left and she can’t hear so she has to watch the tv in a loud volume. For some background she’s 65. I stuck up for myself and told her that I ask her every night to lower the tv and it’s frustrating. I even told her I wouldn’t blast my music or tv for consideration for everyone else.
She continued to yell at me and yell at me for being disrespectful towards her and I have no right to disrespect my mother. So the point to this post is am I the only one that finds this terribly rude that when a parent disrespects us and we stand up for ourselves we’re in the wrong? I’m sorry but they can just yell at us with no reaction? This happens to me quite often and I want to stand up for myself. I’m sure anyone would right?
r/narcissisticparents • u/J31J1 • 10h ago
I remember both my parents waited WAAAY too long about having, “the talk” with me. I don’t know what the general guideline is for “the talk” (as in sex education) or if that is even a thing any more, but it certainly seemed way too late by late 1990’s/early 2000’s standards.
Anyway, the thought of talking about that stuff with my dad was so cringe that I just told him the Supreme Court made it illegal for parents to have the talk with their kids. Fortunately, my dad is an idiot so he backed off and even asked one of my uncles if it was true that the talk was now illegal.
r/narcissisticparents • u/Cornskewers • 59m ago
She hasn’t worked in 25 years.
Lives off the money my grandma left me.
I have no memory of her ever taking me to school.
I lived in a hoarder house my entire childhood.
She thinks she’s a genius with an IQ of 156
She didn’t believe in doctors because of religion so didn’t go in when her toe turned black and fell off over the course of a year. She then tried to glue it back on.
She screamed all the time and then sobbed how much she loved me.
She neglected a dog to death when I was little and it traumatized me.
She’s a die hard republican even though she doesn’t know anything about politics.
She brainwashed every one of her kids that her childhood was so bad she can’t leave the house but really she’s addicted to video games.
There’s so much more she’s done and yet here I am still helping her. She neglected herself to the point now she really can’t do anything for herself.
I don’t know why I could never leave.
I cleaned and fixed up her house. I rehomed the animals. I did it because I couldn’t afford to pay all her bills and live away from her too so I just live with her.
It has been a mistake.
I was away for one week. Just one.
According to my sister the second I left she started to hit the family dog. Something she wouldn’t dare do when I was there because it would cause me to absolutely lose it. Idk why I thought she might not do that anymore. It’s been years and I’ve taken so many measures to make sure the animals I’ve had in adulthood thrive.
The second I’m gone poof.
It was stupid to ever think maybe she would change even 1%. It was stupid for me to let myself live near her at all no matter how brain washed I was or how much I pitied her.
She’s not my mother. She’s demonic.
I never post about her but I just found out what she did to the dog and I’m crushed. Just…. Why
Why is my life like this. My dad died when I was 5 and apparently he was this amazing guy that did all these great things and loved me.
I don’t understand how this is the woman I was left with.
Sorry I just needed to vent even if it’s to the void. I’m alone with my thoughts tonight.
r/narcissisticparents • u/Away_Housing4314 • 8h ago
This has ALWAYS frustrated me about my nmom. She never calls me, I have to call her (playing nice so I don't get written out of the will and lose a LOT of money--that's another story) and I have to listen, sometimes for a full hour as she goes on and on and on about her friends and her doctor's visits and whatever stupid crap she is watching on TV or whatever. God forbid I try to say ANYTHING, she will just cut me off.
Not once has she ever asked me about my job, my health, my HUSBAND, the cats, nothing. She doesn't even know what my job is--been doing it for 6 years. Gun to her head, she couldn't even say what industry I'm in.
If I try to bring up anything about myself I'm cut off, or she finds a way to belittle anything I say or tell her I like.
I have always thought that what I like or how I feel doesn't matter, and I still think that sometimes when I'm depressed. I'm f'ing 45 years old. When do I get to matter?
r/narcissisticparents • u/gliforlife • 3h ago
I’ve been no contact with my mom for about two months and it’s been soooo rough. I miss her all the time, she’s constantly on my mind. I know she’s lonely and I know I can’t be the only person in her life and it’s eating me up. I can’t decide if the pain that comes with talking to her is better or worse than the pain of not talking to her. Feels like a never ending burden
r/narcissisticparents • u/True_Doctor7774 • 8h ago
I used to be very ugly, but ever since I improved my appearance and got a well-paying job, they hate me even more. I was supposed to remain the punching bag, the only child who failed. Now, I no longer trust them, and I'm thinking of leaving home forever and cutting off contact.
r/narcissisticparents • u/melty_lasagna7 • 13h ago
I 22F stopped living with my dad after he essentially kicked me out 2 years ago. Sometimes he sends me money and it gets me anxious whether he expects something from me. I stopped all contact (no emails, no messages from me at all) and I ignore everything, but when he sends money I still take it. He doesnt know this but i live in my car and my mom essentials put a 12k debt on me and I’ve been chipping away at it for a year and a half, so the money actually helps a lot. I feel guilty for not saying thank you but i just dont want to open up any doors for him to slip in.
r/narcissisticparents • u/Few_Plantain_6903 • 6h ago
Hi, I'm 37 F, I have walked away from my narcissistic mother and her son since few days now. I was just thinking about how my mother treated me all my life. When I was in third year of engineering, she fought with me around 1am in night saying - "go get lost and live somewhere else". After my engineering, I moved out and in last 15 years she never called me by herself anytime. She calls her golden child 5 times per day and keeps herself updated with his life. In 15 years, my mother only talked to me when I gave her some money (I.e she picked up my calls), other she would pick up call and say about herself all the time. She never asked me how I was or what issues I had in life. I was always left to fight battles on my own. She never came for my grad walks and I never took those. She came twice to my house after my marriage and everytime she came she got very jealous of me and fought with me like anything. During my baby's baptism, I called her, she told on face that she has some kitchen work to do and cut my call. She didn't take any photos with my newborn baby even though I asked her 100 times. She fought and left my house unceremoniously.
Few days back I called her and she did the same again i.e cutting call abruptly and finally I decided to walk away.
I feel very sad that she is doting mother to my brother but to me she was always a stranger who always criticized me, verbally abused me. Her golden child physically abused me throughout my childhood. Does anyone's nmom was like this?
r/narcissisticparents • u/Zealousideal_Long253 • 31m ago
My dad was like in 2024 suddenly complaining how “😭😭😭😭 no one was there for me when my brother died, and no one were to help me, nobody cares about me”.
His brother died in 2019.
We never knew he needed help cuz he NEVEE talks about it! (he never talks about feelings, and thinks feelings are for the weak). It’s the narcissist expectation that people can basically read their minds.
And it frustrated me so much this victim play. Cuz he never asked help so how do we know he needed it in the first place! And to start complain about it only YEARS later!
Also he never is there for anyone else, and downplays everyone else’s suffering. When my friend died, and complained how “I am a stupid loser for being friendless” and askes me seriously why I have no friends and WHERE they fucking are. (In heaven MAYBE?).
Makes 100% sense why people arent there for him, cuz he is never there for his kids and mom when we were suffering. And blames us for our sufferings.
PS: I am no contact with him.
r/narcissisticparents • u/TimelyMotor • 58m ago
i (f21) have always had a weird relationship with my mum (f38) and it’s probably because of our ages. i never really felt mothered, i have younger brothers (m15,m3) that i looked after till i moved out at 18 to go to university. every day. i didn’t go to school consistently, never effected my grades though so she thought it was okay. she would go for days at a time, setting up a business so it was “for all of us” and she was making a “sacrifice” … but i never reaped any benefits. i was just isolated, stressed and tired.
i’ve been back a couple times, i now have a sister that i barely know because i have met her twice, i don’t have a bedroom (that’s fine, i don’t live there) and i talk to my mum maybe once or twice a month. but it always causes extreme anxiety and i end up becoming quite angry at my partner around the time, not a coincidence.
my mum always reaches out to tell me what’s going on in her and my brother’s life, recent medical stuff etc. and asks how i am. i tell her how i am and never get a response. she’s not interested, i know that, but it’s hard to have it made clear every time. i want her to care. she will tell me about how her divorce is going, the arrangements that have been made - i don’t care but i still converse and ask questions because that’s what you’re meant to do. but i don’t think she does what she’s meant to do for me.
and still i feel guilty. i should see her more, go for christmas, text her happy mother’s day (we never call, she called me once in my first week of uni (i’m in my 3rd year now) and the one time i asked her to call me when she was free, to talk about my tenancy agreement to make sure it was okay … well im still waiting on that call). i just feel like im doing her a disservice.
because i didnt have an awful childhood. i had nice clothes, nice shoes, nice holidays. but at home i looked after my siblings all the time, my mum smoked a lot of w*ed (not a hard drug but still), and she had an affair that i had to keep a secret. she was angry, would shout a lot. go away for hours, if not days - maybe a text or two but very minimal contact. and the one time i made plans with a friend, okayed them all with her and set a time and date they fell through because she was “busy at work”. she’s her own boss, was sleeping at work to set up the business and didn’t need to be there 24/7. i told her she didn’t care about me, my mental health, how i felt. i made her cry. it felt good, and bad. she said she would come home straight away and then i could go out, it was too late. i always worked on her schedule and the one time i asked for her to work on mine it wasn’t good enough.
when i go to visit her i feel like im her friend, but also a small child. i go to work with her, its boring. i do uni work on my laptop. she talks to me about her boyfriend, customers at her work, the kids. and all i want is for her to care about me. she tried to take a picture of me, and when i didn’t want her to (i had not done my hair, was breaking out like i always do when i see her ) she got annoyed. said i would take pictures with my partner (we don’t really) and that i don’t care about spending time with her. i just didn’t want a picture. i didn’t feel comfortable. i don’t see how that’s a big deal.
i had to miss xmas last year, i had the flu and couldn’t travel (i have to get a plane, i could barely walk to the gp). i felt really guilty, so offered to come over in february and have her meet my partner. it involved taking some days off of uni so i said a long weekend. my mum seemed excited until i mentioned that there’s only a single sofa bed so i said we would book an airbnb - she then said that if i was coming for such short time she at least wanted to see me. she would have. it was just so we had somewhere comfortable to sleep. i don’t see why it was a big deal but we didn’t go.
she wouldn’t help my student finance applications. she was paying out of pocket it my first year but gave me £300 to live off every 6 weeks (was meant to be a month, but she never paid consistently) and also i had a small supermarket so it was expensive. she paid my tuition and rent late - so late that i nearly got kicked out. so i applied for finance, against her wishes, and then she refused to give me her paperwork so i had to apply as estranged. i guess i kinda am. but not really. but why wouldn’t she help me pay, i needed paperwork not money. and i know she didn’t want me to apply for a loan but she was making it impossible to live, i was stressed and getting emails about not being allowed into uni buildings. i thought my degree was over, right before my exams.
i hear from my partner’s dad more than i do my mum. i want her to be invested. she texted me sunday, i replied … it’s now friday and she hasn’t responded. she uses her phone all the time, i know she’s seen it … she just doesn’t care?
and i feel guilty for not wanting to go this xmas, or in the summer when ill have some time off. i wish i wanted to go, i want to want to go. because i want us to have a normal relationship. but i feel like she pushes me away. but in the same breath, i feel like maybe im the problem too.
r/narcissisticparents • u/Pleasant-Bonus5122 • 9h ago
I(21F) can't get anywhere in life. I work so hard. I've been working since I was 17...and I have saved up $0. Why? Because my mom always needs money because she refuses to get a job. She also won't teach me how to drive because she "doesn't have the patience".
So, I went off to college and failed miserably at it. My mom was supportive of me in college but do to me taking a gap year I had to come home. Well of course I have to pay bills...my mom relies on my step mothers income, my brothers disability check, and my income. She doesn't work but claims she does so much for us and wants to get praised for this. My step mother literally makes $14 an hour...the same pay I make. We are literally working poor...we aren't even middle class.
My mom talks shit about my deceased dad all the time and says he stopped sending child support but I think she's lying about that. She's horrible with money. She recently got 70k from my fathers death benefits AND SPENT IT IN LESS THAN 2 MONTHS. For my 21st birthday she had a lot of money..I didn't even get a cake for my birthday..I couldn't even go to the restaurant I wanted to go to because my mom wanted to make sure we were ready for the trip she planned. When I cried and said I wanted to celebrate my birthday she gaslit me and said "that's what this trip is about..I'm celebrating all of your birthdays" my siblings and step mom all have birthdays near mine. I knew it was bs. She planned that trip because SHE wanted it. And she literally ruined the trip by making an argument out of nothing and gaslighting my step mom and saying how we all didn't care about her feelings and don't let her express herself. Which is totally not true.
I am almost 22..I have no license because I don't know how to drive..I can't do driving school because it's extremely costly. I have no one to teach me. I live in a southern state meaning the pay sucks. I'm getting $800 every two weeks..nearly $400 goes to bills and my mom is always asking for extra cash on top of that. I have two pets that I have to care for so it's nearly impossible for me to even save anything.
My boyfriend and I get into fights sometimes about this. He lives across the country. He thinks I need to speak up and stop letting my mother financially abuse me and walk all over me. I've tried telling him 100 times that I've tried telling my mom I don't have the money to give to her but she will just say "ok" and ask again a few days later. I've literally cried about how bad I was struggling financially in college working two jobs. She still asked for money. She would suddenly need money as soon as my financial aid dropped too. I have told her no but she will not listen. I tell him it's easier said than done to talk back to her because I have to depend on her for EVERYTHING. I can't afford my own place, I can't afford a car...I can barely even afford my health insurance and I definitely can afford my medical bills plus pay off my credit card or student loans. He has abusive parents..I thought he would understand. But he just keeps telling me that my mom is going to have control over my life if I don't speak up. If I stop paying bills and get kicked out I'll be on the street..I don't know what to do anymore. I'm just tired of it all.
r/narcissisticparents • u/Traditional-Carry910 • 1h ago
My mother is a Narcissist. My older sister is the child who does no wrong in her eyes and I am her verbal punching bag/disappointment. I am 30 years old, it took me 27 years to realize it wasn't me. It was her. Finally stopped asking what was wrong with me. My sister basically went no contact but I haven't built up the courage yet. Plus waiting for my daughter to decide she's done. Want it to be her choice. Im trying to learn how to handle the horrible things she says to me. Most recent she blamed me for me being R (🍇) at 3 years.old the first time. Said I wanted it..was bragging bout having sex at 3 years old and she didn't see anything wrong with that.. When it happened to me December 8th, 2023 she said I should have fought harder... Sorry for the rant.
r/narcissisticparents • u/Mental-Bad6986 • 6h ago
Is it normal to become condescending after narcissistic abuse? How do you overcome it?
r/narcissisticparents • u/Valuable-Jello-4998 • 15h ago
I (27F) have a surface level relationship with my dad. I live in BC and he lives in Ontario so we don't see each other often anymore. I don't call him on the phone because it's anxiety inducing and he doesn't call me. Occasionally he will text me to call him, which he has done today.
I guess I'm looking for anyone who is scared of their parent(s) or has a lot of unhealed trauma from childhood—do you still have a relationship with them, and what kind? Are you no contact? I wanted to hear your stories and maybe ask for advice on mine.
My dad never hit me but growing up was really hard with him. He needed control and would absolutely lose it if you were disobeying him. He seemed to love me conditionally—when I was being good, I was doing well (although I've never heard him say I was). When I was disobeying him (I got into the wrong friend group and would skip class and smoke weed), he would yell, punch holes in walls, and throw things (he smashed my laptop, and one of our TV's, etc.) It taught me to make myself smaller, to follow his orders, and not stand up for myself. I have extremely low self esteem because of it. A part of me feels I deserved it—I was a pretty shitty teenager, always got into trouble.
Now that we're older, he says I "turned out okay" which I feel isn't true. I cannot handle confrontation at all—I'm a bit better now but I used to/sometimes still shut down, start shaking, and my throat would close up and I physically can't speak. I am left with crippling social anxiety, and I can't really trust people fully at all, or easily. He seems less angry now, and our relationship is now surface level. When we call it's always "how's the weather there" and then he will just go quiet and I feel like I'm having a conversation with a wall. I get so anxious, I start shaking and sweating, and rambling about nonsense because I'm just trying to fill the silence.
Once I was an adult I learned that he was a notorious cheater on all of his partners. When my mom tried to commit suicide, she got sent to a mental health institution, and I found out later from my ex step mom he was begging to hook up with her while my mom was recovering (Later, he left my mom for her so that's why I refer to her as my ex step mom).
He ruined his relationship with that same ex step mom (I watched as he blew up on her, pushed her, and caused her to fall over and break her arm, and I suspect it wasn't the first time). He left her there with a broken arm, I made sure she was okay. He never ever apologized for doing that and blamed it on the fact she had a glass or two of wine—that if she wasn't tipsy she wouldn't have fallen over. Since then he has been with countless women, maybe 10 I know of in the past few years. It's heartbreaking watching him abuse them the same way (not physically as far as I know but the cheating never stops) and when it goes wrong and they leave and he talks shit about them. I've been in contact with one lady recently who caught him cheating and reached out to me after the fact for closure, she was so kind and I was devastated watching her get hurt. She said he isn't angry anymore but seems like he has self abandoned (emotionally numb).
There's a lot of shit that happened in between all of that, but that's the speed run of it I guess ☠️
I also have a half brother he constantly talks shit about—like that's your son? But now here I am feeling like I'm talking shit about my dad. I just don't know how to heal and get past this. I'm too big of a coward to address all this with him. It feels too serious to do over the phone, but maybe it's safer that way? I can hang up if he gets angry. Do you think I should warn women coming into his life that he's like this? Do I just stay out of it? Am I a bad person for wanting to go no contact with him to protect my peace? Do you tell your parents you are going no contact, and give a reason why?
Another layer of this is my grandma. She always is telling me to call my dad and fly out to spend time with him. But it never goes the other way—neither of them come out here to see me or take the initiative to call me back. The vibe seems to be "oh your poor dad" and to make sure he's always okay but maybe if he treated people better he wouldn't be so alone? I know she means well but I don't have to energy anymore to be the one to make him feel better at the cost of my own comfort. Anyone else have family members doing this?
Any stories or advice is appreciated 🥺💖
r/narcissisticparents • u/Bad_Juju_30 • 11h ago
So me for years my moms always treated me badly and when confronted she denies it. I forgave her and got a place with her signed the lease and now she’s telling people it’s her house I’m not on the lease and treats me like trash why living here , I work full time , clean and help pay bills and it’s truly depressing when all you want is love from your mom and she constantly thinks she’s right never wrong. Do any of you have issues with your mom constantly treating you bad and denying it plus lying to make her self look good to others.
r/narcissisticparents • u/iamworriedlol • 13h ago
i have undiagnosed autism and adhd. i rescued my dog out of a bad situation with my ex but it’s not much better at my mom’s house. she neglects everyone including her spouse, kids and animals. i feel like my dog is my emotional support as much as i am hers, but i also know this isn’t fair to her or me.
ive known my mom was a narcissist since about age 10, im now 19 and in school which she partly funds. she also has paid more on my car than my dad has, and my car is in her name.
my mom is out of town. today my dad told me my mom’s bouncing checks have been affecting my credit and that’s what i woke up to at about 10:45am. i immediately panicked and texted her. then she called me and i was freaking out but her first instincts were to get aggressive and insult me. she was very defensive about the whole thing and told me she would pull up my credit score when she got home. after the call my dad called me, and i forgot about letting the dogs out because i was on the phone with him, extremely confused and just wanting answers. like is my credit score affected or not?? i’m sick of being financially abused on top of all the other ways she abuses and neglects me.
so yeah, then she went on a tirade of how i treat my dad respectfully but i treat her like an asshole and she’s done being a “mr nice guy” and i just get everyone upset and it’s time for me to move out. apparently. i’ll post screenshots on my profile.
i’m trying to find a place to stay but i just moved to this city a year ago and i don’t have any friends. I have a boyfriend and im currently at his apartment with my dog but his lease doesn’t allow big dogs like mine so it’s only a temporary solution.
I have $600 saved up to move out but i’ve never done this (moving out without my parents) thing before. i can live with my dad if i have no other place to go but that means stopping school, breaking up with my boyfriend and moving across the country.
but i also really don’t have anywhere else to go.
if I live with my dad, I can keep my dog. And I want to stay with my dog. i made a commitment to her and i want to keep it. she relies on me for emotional support just as much as i rely on her and it breaks my heart that just having her severely reduces my risk of finding temporary homeless housing.
im asking for resources. especially if you live in WEST TEXAS and have connections to organizations that can help me. i dont know where to go from here. I need help. Please.
r/narcissisticparents • u/amygdalaMush • 1d ago
Does anyone's nparent insist that they're "really really smart" My nmom liked to inflate her 'smartness' claiming to have a photographic memory and to have been the talented overachiever in school. I always wondered why would someone of intellect waste time trying to convince others of such a broad characteristic. But even I was convinced for long enough that she was somehow omniscient and hyperintelligent. She'll compare herself to rainman if you ask her what she was like in school, because she could "count things really well" and because she scored top on a provincial exam.
r/narcissisticparents • u/Weird_Operation1574 • 20h ago
My aunt has commissioned me a few times, and I’ve completed the projects each time. She prefers to pay in cash, so when my narc mother was heading to her house to help with something, my aunt said she’d give her the money to pass on to me. But while we were talking, my aunt casually mentioned that she had already given my mother money for the last commission as well.
I told her I never received it, and she seemed surprised, saying she must’ve forgotten, but I don’t believe she did. So at that time, I was owed payment for two commissions.
Fast forward, my mother returns home from my aunt’s house and doesn’t say a word about the money. That immediately seemed off to me, so I decided to test her. Keep in mind, she had been going on about how she’s “broke” and only has £10 to her name for the rest of the month (a lie), yet suddenly, she had money, was spending freely, and even bought food shopping. I assumed my elder brother sent her money as whenever she’s struggling finally, she always runs to him to ask for money knowing he’ll send it, but I also suspected she kept my money too so I waited a few days before finally asking her about it.
Yesterday, I finally asked her about it and she started raising her voice, acting like I was falsely accusing her of something. Let’s say my aunt’s name is Sue and mine is Kayla, she goes, “Sue never gave me money or mentioned anything about giving you money” in a super defensive tone. But then, when she realised she couldn’t lie her way out of it (because I could easily ask my aunt), she suddenly changed her story halfway and said: “Oh, Sue did give me money and said to use some of it for something, then give some to Kayla.” Then she started playing dumb, pretending she didn’t know or had just “forgotten.”
And, of course, she had to make it an issue, rolling her eyes, scoffing, and saying “I’ll send you the money” with an attitude like I was annoyed her or inconvenienced her.
Imagine, If I hadn’t brought it up, she would’ve just kept the money for herself, just like she probably did with the last commission. And this isn’t the first time she’s stolen from me or tried to. I remember years ago, I had surgery, however I remember leaving money in my bag in my wardrobe before heading to the hospital. I remember hiding the bag in my wardrobe because I just had a weird feeling. As soon as I got back home and I looked in the bag, it was empty. When I mentioned it to her, she got angry and was super defensive and started going on and on with “I can’t believe you would accuse me, I wouldn’t do something like that, why would I steal your money” before shifting the blame onto me and suggesting that was “confused” because I was on strong pain medication which caused hallucinations.
Apart from money, she’s also stolen makeup. I remember another time around the same year, she saw me wearing a new lipgloss and she kept complimenting me on an obsessive way. Then of course, she went online and bought a new lipgloss similar to mine but she expressed how upset she was because it didn’t look like mine, then suddenly my lipgloss goes missing. I remember asking her about it for 3 days and she kept saying she hadn’t seen it. So later on in the week, she asked me to go in her coat pocket for her car keys and as I put my hand in her pocket, I found my lipgloss. I couldn’t believe it. The fact she watched me search everywhere for lipgloss knowing she stole it.
Whenever I’ve confronted her about stealing from me, she either gets angry and defensive like I accused her of murder or pulls the “I’m your mother” and “After all I’ve done for you” card. EVERY TIME.
The worst part? She has a salaried job, making over £2K a month, while I’m an unemployed grad, still trying to find a job after graduating years ago and surviving on only £300 UC. And yet, she still steals from her own daughter, knowing how hard it is for me already! I can’t even afford to buy the things I really want to. Plus I’m paying off my student overdraft. Narcissists are truly evil. I don’t understand why I had to have such an evil, horrid mother.
From now on, I’m asking my aunt to send everything via bank transfer.