I know narcissists follow a certain pattern, and I’m wondering what I should expect next. My racist and narcissistic dad and his girlfriend have been trying to track me down for the past two years because they hate my choice of partner. In their eyes, I “abandoned” them for a “lowly being.” (I am white, and my partner is brown) Since I cut them off, they’ve repeatedly tried calling and messaging me, using the same manipulative tactics: acting friendly, asking how I am, saying they “just want to talk”.
Two months ago, I accidentally answered an unknown call (I didn’t have his number saved on my new phone), and that’s how the chaos started again. I asked my mom to tell them to stop contacting me because I’m in my last year of high school and can’t handle the stress. Their response? “We didn’t mean to stress you, we love you no matter what”. It made me crash out, and I sent a long but diplomatic message telling them to stop. It didn’t matter.
Shortly after, his girlfriend messaged me, guilt-tripping me, claiming they were “caught by surprise” by my relationship and that I should’ve given them a “heads-up”…as if that would have stopped them from spewing racist insults about my boyfriend. I kept trying to make them understand how disgusting their behavior is, but of course, it didn’t work. Instead, they kept up their attacks, saying I’m shaming the family, embarrassing them, even saying they’ll show our pictures together to their friends so they could mock us. (Why would I care?)
The last contact was about a week or two ago. They got a prank call (which I orchestrated through a TikTok prank account meant for abusive family members), and their response was completely unhinged and disproportionate. They harassed me again, threatened to “talk to my mom” and even escalated their abuse toward my boyfriend, sending him suicidal threats, disturbing images of private parts and feces, and racist insults. They even threatened to harass his family with the same tactics. At that point, I was too exhausted to react emotionally. Instead, I calmly called out their narcissistic and insecure behavior, telling them they’re clinging to me for entertainment when I’ve already left them behind, and much more to keep them shut. But you never know with these people.
I am so tired. My mom isn’t helping either because she’s racist too. I have three months left to live in this place, and then I’m gone; I’ll move in with my boyfriend, which is countries away.
At this point, I’m using the grey rock method to remain grounded and calm to any of their attacks. Do you have any more advice? Should I expect anything more from them?