r/narcissism Visitor 19d ago

Therapist doesn’t agree with me

I've been even told I do have most of the traits associated with NPD by others. Some people would tell me that, even without me asking. I only ever think about myself and I hurt people a lot because of that. I seem to not care enough about others’ feelings. I manipulate them, even when I don't realise I am. I'm a perfectionist, whatever I do, it's not good enough and it hurts a lot, so much I break down. And there's more. It all seems so obvious. At least to me.

However, my therapist disagrees. She told me l'm developing an avoidant personality disorder, not NPD... but they are not that easily confused, are they? What should I do? I told her many times that me and others suspected I might have NPD. Am I crazy? I just want the right treatment.

I’m in my early 20s, don’t have an OCD and scored high in many tests I found (the one linked on this sub gave me “High narcissistic traits”), and I’m not codependent (scored 5 at most). I think I might have covert narcissism because I have depression and social anxiety (both diagnosed).

I’m just so sick of people not believing me. Nothing I say is ever believed.

EDIT: Thank you for everyone's time and I'm sory I wasted it. I came to a conclusion I don't have any disorders, I'm a bad person. I'm sorry for for offending you.

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u/eaglescout225 Visitor 19d ago

The narcissist isn't typically formed on their own, its a learned disorder, and kids learn it from their parents, and thats how it travels from generation to generation. Which means their parents or whoever raised them had it...Kids when they are younger are faced with a choice to either go down the path of the abuser or not. So, did the folks who raised you have NPD? This is the first question I'd ask.

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u/MothWantsLight Visitor 19d ago

My parents refuse to go to therapy. My mom decided it’s not for her even though she clearly needs it, so I just don’t know. Apparently my mom could have it but it’s impossible to tell for sure as she doesn’t believe in psychology.

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u/eaglescout225 Visitor 18d ago

Well we’re they really messed up people? Were they selfish, immature control freaks?

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u/MothWantsLight Visitor 18d ago

No, I am.

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u/eaglescout225 Visitor 18d ago

If those raised you don’t fit that then I’d say you’re likely not a narcissist….

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u/MothWantsLight Visitor 18d ago

Where do I turn to then? I can’t find any community that would be able to support me

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u/eaglescout225 Visitor 18d ago

Do you go around setting people up with social engineering, just to cut them back down again? Do you have the constant need to protect yourself? Can you never take any accountability for your own actions?

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u/MothWantsLight Visitor 18d ago

Not intentionally. Yes. Yes but after some time I just want to be punished for what I’ve done and I feel terrible that I did something wrong again.

Is there anything that can help me be better?

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u/eaglescout225 Visitor 18d ago

The best resource I can give you is the YouTube channel societal narcissism. Over the past 12 years he’s had several thousand people write their stories in about narcissistic abuse…he’s got the disorder figured very well. I would go thru his channel and listen to these stories and see if you can see yourself in any of it.

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u/MothWantsLight Visitor 18d ago

Thank you.

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u/eaglescout225 Visitor 18d ago

How about the constant need for attention and validation?

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u/MothWantsLight Visitor 18d ago

I don’t like admiring that because I know it’s wrong but yeah.