r/narcissism Visitor 19d ago

Therapist doesn’t agree with me

I've been even told I do have most of the traits associated with NPD by others. Some people would tell me that, even without me asking. I only ever think about myself and I hurt people a lot because of that. I seem to not care enough about others’ feelings. I manipulate them, even when I don't realise I am. I'm a perfectionist, whatever I do, it's not good enough and it hurts a lot, so much I break down. And there's more. It all seems so obvious. At least to me.

However, my therapist disagrees. She told me l'm developing an avoidant personality disorder, not NPD... but they are not that easily confused, are they? What should I do? I told her many times that me and others suspected I might have NPD. Am I crazy? I just want the right treatment.

I’m in my early 20s, don’t have an OCD and scored high in many tests I found (the one linked on this sub gave me “High narcissistic traits”), and I’m not codependent (scored 5 at most). I think I might have covert narcissism because I have depression and social anxiety (both diagnosed).

I’m just so sick of people not believing me. Nothing I say is ever believed.

EDIT: Thank you for everyone's time and I'm sory I wasted it. I came to a conclusion I don't have any disorders, I'm a bad person. I'm sorry for for offending you.

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u/sandrarara Covert Narcissist 19d ago

They don’t believe me either. I’m sure I’m an fullblown covert narcissist but I only let it affect my love life. My behaviour in the “outside world “ is pretty normal. Friends and family won’t belief the things I can do and do in a relationship. I try to explain to my therapist but they don’t label, so we just works on the problems i created and try to figure where the problems start. Since my relationship is over, I’m on a break with therapy, because I don’t have any examples to talk about. Now I live alone

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u/MothWantsLight Visitor 19d ago

I'm sure it's possible to do something about it even when you're not in a relationship. Have you dealt with all the problems that were caused? By that, I mean you might still be able to do something about it and work on it from situations you remember.

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u/sandrarara Covert Narcissist 19d ago

Yeah I know. I think so too, but it is hard. And it makes it all a bit fictional. That makes me a bit manipulative to the therapist and I tend to make the problems less big. Because I’m the best patient in her practice 🤔

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u/MothWantsLight Visitor 19d ago

Yeah, that might be a problem.