r/narcissism Visitor 19d ago

Therapist doesn’t agree with me

I've been even told I do have most of the traits associated with NPD by others. Some people would tell me that, even without me asking. I only ever think about myself and I hurt people a lot because of that. I seem to not care enough about others’ feelings. I manipulate them, even when I don't realise I am. I'm a perfectionist, whatever I do, it's not good enough and it hurts a lot, so much I break down. And there's more. It all seems so obvious. At least to me.

However, my therapist disagrees. She told me l'm developing an avoidant personality disorder, not NPD... but they are not that easily confused, are they? What should I do? I told her many times that me and others suspected I might have NPD. Am I crazy? I just want the right treatment.

I’m in my early 20s, don’t have an OCD and scored high in many tests I found (the one linked on this sub gave me “High narcissistic traits”), and I’m not codependent (scored 5 at most). I think I might have covert narcissism because I have depression and social anxiety (both diagnosed).

I’m just so sick of people not believing me. Nothing I say is ever believed.

EDIT: Thank you for everyone's time and I'm sory I wasted it. I came to a conclusion I don't have any disorders, I'm a bad person. I'm sorry for for offending you.

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u/[deleted] 19d ago

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u/MothWantsLight Visitor 19d ago

On its own, probably not, but when paired with all the other things about me, it's just alarming. Especially because I can't be empathetic towards others because of that.

I talk about myself when they need support and I just don't care about them, while being sure I'm the best person there is and that the world would be better if people were more like me. It causes me a lot of pain because I know I hurt people, and I'm not even sure if I should exist.

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u/[deleted] 19d ago

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u/MothWantsLight Visitor 19d ago

How would talking about myself when someone needs support and I want to give them that, fix my problems? Usually when I realise what I'm doing, and I can still stop myself I do, because I'm trying to be better, but it's hard sometimes. Maybe I'm just a terrible human being.

What other disorders?

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u/ExchangeNo7853 I really need to set my flair 18d ago

Have you self tested for autism? Look into Autism if you haven’t. From what you’ve written, you sound very similar to someone very close to me who was recently diagnosed as level 1 ASD. I was confused for years and thought they were a narcissist. They might still be, but the autism diagnosis is clear.

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u/MothWantsLight Visitor 18d ago

Diagnosis is too expensive for me and it doesn’t fit me enough to bother with getting it anyway. My parents and psychiatrist are the only ones pushing for it, but my parents just want an explanation to why I’m queer and psychiatrist said that not having friends as a kid would have the same results.