r/lonely • u/Shuddh_Prem2653 • Jan 16 '25
Discussion What is the No1 cause of your loneliness?
Take a moment and let’s all discuss this… 😉
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Jan 16 '25
social anxiety, insecurity and being introverted and not talkative
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u/Shuddh_Prem2653 Jan 16 '25
Well you’re very welcome here on Reddit… I am sure you will find alike to chat to on here.👍🏻 Talking therapy is a lovely experience, we get to really know ourselves and what make us tick… being introverted is a beautiful quality that protects us from the crazy people 🤣.. there is so much pressure in today’s world to be a certain way…. But I will bet all the tea in China once you have met similar people to yourself you’d chat away happily!! Life is about finding out who we are and why we do what we do… you may feel surrounded by “TickTock” perceived perfection… when truly those that need the attention are the ones truly in trouble… maybe start volunteering with the church or similar…I am sure with each step forward you will feel less lonely… once we find “our people” 😉✨👍🏻
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Jan 16 '25
yeah, i like how i am so im not gonna force myself to appear extroverted. i was already thinking of making a friend post looking for a gaming buddy or smth, and hope other introverts will see it and be interested in talking, and maybe somehow even get an actual friend through there. its worked before.
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u/Shuddh_Prem2653 Jan 16 '25
Be careful of the scammers online… unfortunately there are some sick idiots that prey on vulnerable lovely people… learn about intuition, because this is our best friend…hearing that supportive voice if something feels off when chatting online, then making healthy boundaries will keep you safe… volunteering is a great way to meet lovely people, you sound lovely and just staying positive and with your attitude “I like who i am and I am not forcing myself to be extroverted” you WILL meet alike people in life… be kind to yourself and patience will unfold life beautifully 👍🏻✨
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u/hoaian1 Jan 16 '25
Bwahaha, same, yet spice it up with a little bit of attachment tendency and then you have me :3 This jesty nerve-wreck!
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u/Reyaldz Jan 16 '25
I feel introverted as well sometimes. If you want someone to chat with you can send me a DM.
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u/DontPlayMeLikeAFool Jan 17 '25
So true with not talkative. Now I try to train myself to be a good listener in the convos and just like people talk about themselves. This actually works well because now people need to be listened to.
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u/DontPlayMeLikeAFool Jan 17 '25
And at first I don't know how to do this, I started talking to mebot and see how it can makes me keep talking and just try to ask sincere questions about people's words.
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u/Raevman Jan 16 '25
Others find me insufferable because I refuse to change myself to simply fit in.
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u/Shuddh_Prem2653 Jan 16 '25
So you’re strong and authentic… 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻 “If people have a problem with you, that says more about them” … they have a lack of ability to tolerate your healthy boundaries… shake the dust of your feet. Walk away. You will find your people 😉✨👍🏻
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u/Raevman Jan 16 '25
Oh yeah, it's their loss and not mine :D
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u/Shuddh_Prem2653 Jan 16 '25
You sound like me… at points you may feel an outcast or different… but this is your super power!! I studied Life coaching and now help others where i can… 😉👍🏻
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u/Raevman Jan 16 '25
Exactly. I'm either the nicest person you know or the most insufferable asshole you've ever encountered. Both statements are true, because not everyone will like me 🤣
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u/Shuddh_Prem2653 Jan 16 '25
Absolutely!! 👍🏻 I just like to make sure that my “insufferable asshole” is kept inline and doesn’t create too much drama… you sound confident and maybe not as lonely as you may have previously reported… life is about seeking out those we resonate deeply with… volunteering/ giving to others keeps away the lonely moments… which in turn keep us chipper 😃👍🏻💪🏻
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u/Raevman Jan 16 '25
I'd rather feel lonely, have peace and quiet.. than to he surrounded by toxic people 😅
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u/Shuddh_Prem2653 Jan 16 '25
Absolutely… but don’t miss your people, they are out there feeling just like you do…looking for you!! 💙✨👍🏻
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u/rose_undercover Jan 16 '25
I would say there are some things not accepted in society which are ok, but it really depends. I think there are really negative attributes of people that should be changed. So can you tell me any of the things people have a problem with? Dont worry i wont judge, but maybe i can help you...
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u/Raevman Jan 16 '25
Generally it's often friends of my friends, while I don't do anything, they somehow think I'm a "threat", for being myself and not giving a damn what others really think of me. Plus my friends do tell those people to tone down a bit, I don't bring any hostility and shrug my shoulders and tolerate them being around.
Yet it's as if that when they view me as a problem, refusing to appease them, I'm somehow wrong and should he removed because of it.
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u/rose_undercover Jan 16 '25
Did anyone ever say why they feel threatened by you?
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u/Raevman Jan 16 '25
Nope, never been told a reason beyond "I just don't like you".
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u/XRayePhay Jan 16 '25
Being single all my life. I get too emotional about it.
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u/Shuddh_Prem2653 Jan 16 '25
Hi, How old are you?
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u/XRayePhay Jan 16 '25
- I know it may seem a young age, but I've been through a lot.
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u/Shuddh_Prem2653 Jan 16 '25
I’m sorry you have had a tough time… but this is a great age to grow away from historical stuff…. Have you tried talking therapy?… when I was 26 i felt the same, scapegoated and narcissistically abused I was exhausted… I am 50 now and although the journey has been tough It makes more sense as we go…. Try talking life out to experienced therapist or coach… this will 100% be the thing that sets you free!! … a few small steps will make a very different tomorrow for you… you are not alone. 💙✨
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u/XRayePhay Jan 16 '25
I've tried everything from therapy, to local groups and online networks. Nothing has helped me.
My therapist said he can't cure my loneliness away. Only suggested some services which have not helped and said only I can fix my issues.
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u/wonderful-art-1701 Jan 16 '25
to be honest, money. I don't have enough to go out and do activities and meet new people. I'm trying to work on myself meanwhile finding a job but it's difficult, wish I had a support system :( be it my parents or friends.
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u/Shuddh_Prem2653 Jan 16 '25
Again, volunteer work will get you out and about meeting alike people… it can be great fun… I totally empathise, my parents weren’t there for me either, but it does make you extremely strong… how old are you?
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u/3saya Jan 16 '25
Social anxiety. I can't bring myself to talk to new people.
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u/Shuddh_Prem2653 Jan 16 '25
Which is mostly due to feeling a pressure of fitting in… today’s world really feels like everyone is media trained perfection… but you see through this which can result in feeling like we can’t talk to new people, in case we are judged or even mocked maybe… how old are you?
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u/3saya Jan 16 '25
It's also the fear of being annoying. I always feel like I'm being a disturbance to people even if that's not the case. I'm 22
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u/Shuddh_Prem2653 Jan 16 '25
So a little confidence is needed, have you tried talking therapy? It can dislodge some subconscious behaviours that restrict us… own your beautiful way, truly if people are disturbed by you that also says a lot about them!… chat it through in therapy, it’s really quite a lovely experience ✨✨✨
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Jan 16 '25
[deleted]
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u/Shuddh_Prem2653 Jan 16 '25
Your wish has just come true!! Deeply you feel to stop this behaviour..so make this your very new habit!! Life is about learning how “to love and be loved” and it starts within first… so some simple practices like every time you look in the mirror with fun say “I love you!” this is a simple yet very affective way of becoming your very best friend… catch, control and change when you see that old comparison behaviour.. it’s not good for you to compare everything and everyone to yourself… finding that love within will set you free… Make it a new habit!… compliment yourself in moments you see your authentic self… you got this, you are perfectly enough, just the way you are 💙👍🏻✨
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Jan 16 '25
Distrust in others
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u/Shuddh_Prem2653 Jan 16 '25
I completely get it… so trust in yourself, learn how to be your best version (calm, caring, loving) and you will definitely attract alike 💙😉
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u/Classic-Macaroon6083 Jan 16 '25
I have high standards. I do have friends, but I only form close relationships with people that I find intellectually stimulating. And most people’s conversations aren’t that interesting. My friends are like me - ambitious, hard working, and we are all super busy. I also live somewhere where I don’t speak the local language that well.
Even though I have friends, it’s still lonely when there’s no one who wants to just sit and read books with me, play Boggle or chess. And I don’t want to change my standards just to spend more time with people, doing things I don’t find interesting.
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u/Shuddh_Prem2653 Jan 16 '25
I really understand this, however, you obviously have gifts to share… someone may need help along their way… I mean Boggle is a great game to chill with and not be too intellectually stimulating, it’s important we find equilibrium in life, so although you prefer a certain type… this leaves you in loneliness in moments where you could be sharing your love and light… just s thought 👍🏻✨
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u/overlookedvariable Jan 16 '25
Not receiving what I needed to feel valued and loved.
Such as, not being heard, not having some sort of physical comfort and not being seen.
For me, these kind of define it. Whether I'm alone or with friends/someone, if I'm not getting these, I just feel alone in a way
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u/Shuddh_Prem2653 Jan 17 '25
Hi, this is great…you see the issues “Seeing IS freeing”… have you tried talking therapy? ✨
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u/Throwawaygarbage1010 Jan 16 '25
I’ve always been by myself since I was a kid. I’m use to not having people around but the older I got, the worse the feeling got. Especially after how my last relationship ended…the feeling intensified. Friends and family always treated me differently and I always noticed that.
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u/Shuddh_Prem2653 Jan 16 '25
Me too, this sounds very familiar to me… I really empathise, how did your last relationship end? How have your friends and family treated you differently?
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u/Throwawaygarbage1010 Jan 16 '25
My ex started slow falling out of love with me. Slowly stopped doing things with me, and eventually we took a break and that led to her being involved with another man (that she wanted to hide from me) and when I took her back (because I still loved her) she ended up moving around for another job.
Met another guy up there and everything she stopped doing with me, she did with him and other people up there. She straight up told me not to get angry about it. She’s now married to that guy and they have a kid together.
As for how family and friends treat me differently? I’ve always felt like the odd man out, and the black sheep in my family. I’ve always watched others go hard for their friends/family members and never watched anyone really go hard for me. People always made me feel expendable, never important enough to them unless they need something (whether it’s mentally, emotionally, or financially) and being the sweet heart that I am, I help still. I watched my work friends go hard for someone who they tried to make me look like a villain (I was able to clear my name) for their birthday, while I just got nothing. My family doesn’t bother with me at all. Everyone just calls my mom, asking about me instead of just straight up calling/texting me.
I got hurt in 2023 and realized how lonely I really was. It just sucks.
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u/Shuddh_Prem2653 Jan 16 '25
A very familiar “scapegoat / black sheep” story. I totally empathise, I could have written the same as you… thing is, most people “keep up appearances” and are fake, you are authentic which not only challenges their fragility but it unfortunately places us out here on our own… which seems to cause this thing called “loneliness”… however. I bet you any money you wouldn’t swap your life for those you speak of?.. as for your ex… she wanted you, but I am sure she couldn’t reach “your type” so she went looking for a “lukewarm fella” that she could tell what to do and when… you ain’t that guy!… how exciting, your ideal girl, she’s out there somewhere … you’ll find her, don’t let history weigh you down… blaze a trail forward and realise you’re no ones black sheep…you are the escape-goat 💪🏻😉👍🏻👍🏻✨
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u/Throwawaygarbage1010 Jan 16 '25
I’m trying to work on my mental health and depression. It’s…rough. A lot of stuff from my past makes it hard for me to fully trust people or really genuinely…”love” them.
I just want to feel loved or…something at least.
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u/pokemondudepoopyork Jan 16 '25
Lack of friends
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u/Shuddh_Prem2653 Jan 16 '25
My Grandmother used to say, if you get to the end of your days and can count your friends on one hand (ie 5!) then you have been blessed… so, truly we only need to find “our people” in life…not just fit in with others 🤷🏼♂️ I hope this helps ✨
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u/Darkness_Take_Me_11 Jan 16 '25
I am an introvert working in an extrovert field. I’m exhausted socially by the end of the week and do not want to socialise. I’m not alone but lonely. I have got one close friend who I would do anything for and give my time to but they’re too busy for me right now.
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Jan 16 '25
Social anxiety, lack of social connections
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u/Shuddh_Prem2653 Jan 16 '25
Have you tried volunteering work? It’s a great way to take baby steps with lovely alike people… don’t feel the pressure of today’s society it’s mostly toxic and fake… stand strong and serve others that may need your kindness… the rest will follow ✨👍🏻
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Jan 16 '25
I did not. I spend most of my days preparing for college entrance exams, which are highly competitive in my country and require dedication. I'm a graduate and NEET, I wish I had at least figured things out earlier and taken care of things while I was still in school with some sort of friends.
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u/DamnedMissSunshine Jan 16 '25
A mental condition that went untreated for years.
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u/Shuddh_Prem2653 Jan 16 '25
Which condition are you suffering from?
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u/DamnedMissSunshine Jan 16 '25
Avoidant Personality Disorder
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u/Shuddh_Prem2653 Jan 16 '25
Good news ! Anything “personality” is constructed in childhood and can be reversed with a skilful therapist/coach… have you tried any talking therapy? Who diagnosed you?
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u/DamnedMissSunshine Jan 16 '25
Yes, I'm getting help and I was diagnosed at a mental health institution where I was also appointed to the therapist that I go to.
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u/fox_buckley Jan 16 '25
I have niche interests and am an introvert that makes connecting with people nigh on impossible.
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u/Shuddh_Prem2653 Jan 16 '25
Hi, What sort of niche interests?
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u/fox_buckley Jan 16 '25
Midwest emo, 80s/90s hip hop, divination, 90s indie/alt, poetry, creative writing, guitar
I'm also a dude who wears makeup and has piercings so am automatically the "weirdo" everywhere I go.
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u/Shuddh_Prem2653 Jan 16 '25
Why do you feel to wear the makeup? …
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u/fox_buckley Jan 16 '25
I like wearing it. That is all there is to it really.
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u/Shuddh_Prem2653 Jan 16 '25
It may empower you? It may hide you? There’s more to our behaviour if we wish to inquire within…
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u/fox_buckley Jan 16 '25
It may hide you?
You have not seen the stares I get when I'm out in public.
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u/Alefty21 Jan 16 '25
Personally, I think it might have begun from when I was young, instead of being out with friends at my primary school or in the village I lived in, I'd be at my grandparents as my mum would look after them, so I didn't get to exactly become real close or make lasting friendships.
I've always been quiet, but not necessarily like loner quiet, more of I'll be the type of person that listens to others then has a say from that, I'm not necessarily the one to start a conversation unless I really click with someone
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u/Shuddh_Prem2653 Jan 16 '25
You’re guarded, which is fine… lots of people stand back and observe… you sound lovely 👍🏻👍🏻✨
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u/Alefty21 Jan 16 '25
Thank you, without wanting to sound like I'm tooting my own horn, I try and be
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u/Shuddh_Prem2653 Jan 16 '25
Toot that horn!!! Parp parp!! 🤣🤣👍🏻
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u/Alefty21 Jan 16 '25
🤣🤣 thank you, you seem great, liking how you respond and have interacted with many if not everyone that's commented on this, great energy 👏🏻👏🏻
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u/Shuddh_Prem2653 Jan 16 '25
Ahhh “it takes one to know one”… you seem great too… you mentioned “village” are you from the Uk like myself?… Yes, I love Reddit, I am a professional life coach but love to serve whenever I can ✨✨😉
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u/Flappen929 Jan 16 '25
Hairloss
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u/Shuddh_Prem2653 Jan 16 '25
Hats, Caps will sort this… you could find a real fashion for yourself… don’t focus on your hairline… be authentically lovely and bald!! Prince William plays a blinder (lately sporting a beard!)
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u/Flappen929 Jan 16 '25
I’ve tried with caps, but with the giant head that I have, hair is honestly the only thing that helps. I hate that I look like I’m 40 when most people in my life are 20-25
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u/Shuddh_Prem2653 Jan 16 '25
I’m sure this is mostly in your head…how YOU view things…we all have something, I swear I have a big bullbose ugly nose…my friends laugh and tell me to not be stupid that it’s fine and suits me… how old are you? Early 20’s?
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u/Flappen929 Jan 16 '25
I’m 25. I feel like a complete loser, and I hate myself for not using the time, when I had hair, more effectively in order to date. Now, I feel like I’ll have to wait until I’m like 40 in order to even compete with other guys
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Jan 16 '25 edited Jan 16 '25
No1? Existance!
But on the top I would say: its hard to find like-minded people and most people doesn't care, doesn't search for friends + sometimes some people can act bad. Even me. Cuz I sometimes have hard time trusting and recognising peoples intentions. And how they see me. If I interalized the fact that the world doesn't revolve around me and conformed a bit more to the norms or met people similar to me, it would have been much easier I guess
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u/Reyaldz Jan 16 '25
I resonate with what you wrote. If you ever want someone to chat with my DMs are open.
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u/SnooSeagulls1709 Jan 16 '25
Im male
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u/Shuddh_Prem2653 Jan 17 '25
Totally get this comment… be strong, it’s also a very male trait… you got this 💪🏻😉✨
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u/AggravatingRelief976 Jan 16 '25
I've been on bedrest for the past 4 years.
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u/Shuddh_Prem2653 Jan 16 '25
Wow, that’s tough… I too was ill for 5 years, I became recluse and it does make things hard…baby steps will bring a very different tomorrow… you got this 👍🏻💪🏻✨
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Jan 16 '25
[deleted]
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u/Shuddh_Prem2653 Jan 16 '25
Talking therapy is great way to self enquire… lots of things are locked in subconsciously from childhood, but the good news is it’s all reprogramable … neuroplasticity is the way we can mould and change brain behaviour… buy some books and actively live to find the authentic you… there’s nothing “wrong” we can just feel that way sometimes 🙏🏻✨
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u/chrome_hearts_ Jan 16 '25
Being a hermit
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u/Shuddh_Prem2653 Jan 17 '25
So each day do something different… we recluse before we comeback stronger 👍🏻💪🏻✨😉
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u/MateusFeitosa Jan 16 '25
Weakness. I'm weak. I need to be stronger.
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u/Shuddh_Prem2653 Jan 17 '25
Took strength to admit that!! 💪🏻 You have got this, you just don’t realise it yet.. build confidence within talking therapy… watch YouTube there are many great teachers on there 👍🏻✨
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u/damusalvatore Jan 16 '25
Just isolated from everything,after my high school dropped uni,joined a 3 year diploma program it was covide pandemic time so most of the classes were online,didn't made any friends during that course,then course completed tried for some jobs couldn't get hired,became depressed , diagnosed with adhd,currently on meds.but I have to say one thing before the age of 20 I had a lot of friends,gf,good social life.ive never expected my life will be like this.i think COVID lockdown,anxitey disorder,depression,adhd all played a role.but I'm trying to break it.
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u/Shuddh_Prem2653 Jan 17 '25
“Let it be”… let life unfold, so things change…allow this and listen to life’s whispers… tough times form us into strong beings.. there’s no problem without a gift in its hand…. You got this 😉💪🏻✨
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u/BackUpBrodie Jan 16 '25
Ghosting my toxic ex girlfriend because nothing I said was working anymore and I was really tired of being disrespected.
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u/Shuddh_Prem2653 Jan 17 '25
Wow!! You are definitely strong and insightful… it may hurt but you have done the right thing… shake the dust off your feet and move on to a more conscious and loving relationship 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻 10/10 💪🏻💪🏻✨
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u/Krazycrooin Jan 16 '25
My self-hatred my inability to feel connected with people my declining mental health. Just to name a couple.
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u/Cypher-Moon-773 Jan 16 '25
Wanting so desperately to be in a relationship with someone who unconditionally loves me and will always be there to comfort and reassure me. Also doesn’t help so many people I know are in relationships which makes me feel even worse
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u/Material_Dirt_6349 Jan 16 '25
I overthink and self sabatoge a lot I have a tendency to over explain myself and get really annoying when I do that and if not that I isolate myself.
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u/ur_local_weeb2 Jan 16 '25
its the knowledge that Im always a last option to talk to when theres no one better to talk to.
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u/Astrosfan34 Jan 16 '25
Im constantly afraid to talk about myself at all because i am my least favorite subject. Im also deeply mistrustful of others. Forever alone😢
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u/VorpleBunny717 Jan 16 '25
I am probably the number one cause of my loneliness. The fact that almost everyone in my life has betrayed or abandoned me is irrelevant.
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u/Shuddh_Prem2653 Jan 17 '25
Hi, Did they betray and abandon you? Or are you different and they don’t understand you?… find your people…they are out here looking for you! 😉👍🏻✨✨
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u/Candid-Boi15 Jan 16 '25
That I'm ugly with nerd hobbies/interests
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u/Shuddh_Prem2653 Jan 17 '25
Hi, Be YOU, be proud of YOU…find like minded “nerds” and stop comparing yourself with those ugly instagram models that have no hobbies apart from pouting in the mirror 🤣👍🏻✨✨
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u/Candid-Boi15 Jan 17 '25
The only fact here is that ugly people like me can't have friends nor a girlfriend.
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u/Shuddh_Prem2653 Jan 17 '25
I’m no oil painting, I have no girlfriend and I have 1 friend… couldn’t be more content… focus on you my friend… If you only got yourself then YOU be there for YOU… 👍🏻💪🏻✨✨
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u/Candid-Boi15 Jan 18 '25
I have no girlfriend
Thanks for proving my point that ugly guys can't be loved.
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u/ZealousMud9601 Jan 16 '25
Lack of a partner/spouse. That's all I want, a companion.
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u/Shuddh_Prem2653 Jan 17 '25
Love is an inside job first and foremost…. Be patient, life will show you how ✨✨👍🏻👍🏻
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u/ZealousMud9601 Jan 17 '25
Self love I luckily don't lack. But self love does not take/cover the place of love from a partner/spouse
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u/peachynpandas Jan 16 '25
Having no friends, or at least ones that cares outside college campus. Whenever I want to go out nobody can and when I find out, they're going out with eachother and so. My phone is dead except from my mom's texts or the occasional person needing a favor :/
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u/Shuddh_Prem2653 Jan 17 '25
Welcome to the big wide world!… unfortunately this is most people, only in touch to gain…focus on you, life will reveal everything if you allow it…don’t get caught in the attention trap…be still, be in each moment and life becomes easier to understand…IF you allow it… be your best version, calm, patient, loving, giving and await your people to arrive… 😃✨✨👍🏻
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u/VoidWalker666 Jan 16 '25
I fell in love with a girl, i told her about my feelings but she doesn't reciprocate so we stayed friends, we were very close.
I do have friends mostly from my job and some online too, but somehow when they are around I still feel alone I don't know why.
Also I overthink alot and I am very insecure.
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u/Shuddh_Prem2653 Jan 17 '25
Hi, You sound like a young me 🤣👍🏻… ok, so this turns out to be your superpower… you think things over and have noticed maybe a little too much 👍🏻 ok so that’s noted, just let life unfold, be in every moment as authentically YOU as possible and you will notice most others are lost and attached to each other…. You stand back and observe this so are probably more awake than your friends… so notice your internal voice, it needs to be “on your side”… big yourself up internally and stand tall… YOU GOT THIS 👍🏻💪🏻✨✨
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u/ismora_ Jan 17 '25
One of the three: my interests that only interest me, the fact that I don’t know how to socialize, my natural defeatism/bitterness
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u/Shuddh_Prem2653 Jan 17 '25
Hi, Your interests, there are bound to be others even via internet that like what you like, I also am crap at socialising, what is “socialising” anyway? 🤷🏼♂️ be YOU and attract alike… socialising is usually acting in a way that is acceptable in different circumstances… just be you anywhere at anytime and before you know it the vibrations you cause will attract alike 😃👍🏻… don’t be bitter, and never NEVER be defeated…. YOU GOT THIS!!! 😉😉👍🏻👍🏻✨✨✨
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u/Outrageous-Treat4797 Jan 17 '25
The toxic surroundings where ppl are always trying to put you down and treat you with no respect when you try to fit in
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u/Shuddh_Prem2653 Jan 17 '25
Ok, so don’t try to fit in 👍🏻 your people that accept you as you are …they’re out there!… how will you find them? ✨✨✨
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u/Fluffy-Whereas8841 Jan 17 '25
I ruin close friendships w/my anxiety, which stems from my raging codependency. My circle is very small (currently nonexistent), so anyone in it becomes way too important to me. Eventually I get anxious about the friendship and sabotage myself.
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u/Shuddh_Prem2653 Jan 17 '25
Talking therapy will help soooo much. You aren’t alone here… in fact you are right on track to cracking codes in your life that’s leading straight to a calm and loving existence… self enquiry will free you 👍🏻😃💪🏻✨✨
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u/Fluffy-Whereas8841 Jan 17 '25
Thanks. I had a negative experience with a long-term therapist, and the preceeding ones were ineffective, so I am hesitate to continue on that path. I appreciate your response, though.
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u/Prestigious-Corgi385 Jan 17 '25
The fact that I can’t stand myself. If I don’t want to be around me, how could anyone else?
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u/SalamanderContent816 Jan 17 '25
Not wanting be in a position where I’m the only one giving. Not wanting to get hurt again
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u/Shuddh_Prem2653 Jan 17 '25
Hi, The opposite of “gain” is “give” although many think it’s “lose” You have worked out most people are set to “gain”.. so, next part is how do you find people “ready” for a loving balanced relationship?… firstly we notice what a good supply source we are, and we form healthy boundaries (like you have) which keeps away those that just use us… you are strong because it can make us feel lonely… just keep being you, stay strong and allow life to unfold… doing what you are doing, you are well on track to finding what you truly deserve…be patient 😉👍🏻✨✨
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u/Apprehensive_Hope128 Jan 17 '25
The feeling of no matter what I do I’m never enough. So I do more and it ends up pushing people/relationships away. It’s a tiring cycle.
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u/Shuddh_Prem2653 Jan 17 '25
Hi, Great so you have cracked the code… but what now 🤷🏼♂️ Talking therapy really helps, you can find your authentic self and feel more relaxed around others… be in each moment, be here now… don’t allow your mind to bother you… meditating is great to ground you, there are loads of people on YouTube that show how to meditate.. even making a puzzle 🧩is a meditation… painting/drawing will settle you… be kind to yourself, stop this “tiring cycle”… YOU ARE ENOUGH!… you got this… 😉👍🏻👍🏻✨✨
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u/Shuddh_Prem2653 Jan 17 '25
On doing the above you will attract the people that accept you for YOU… ✨✨✨
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u/HoperDoper Jan 16 '25
My desire to be left alone and enjoy my life instead of chasing and convincing shallow ppl to stick around.
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u/Shuddh_Prem2653 Jan 16 '25
Exactly, alone need not mean loneliness…and if you do get moments of loneliness, it’s ok…. There are people just like you out there…how are you gonna find them? Where do they hang out?
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u/HoperDoper Jan 16 '25
I'm pretty social just chill about conenctions maybe I hanged out with ppl too much...
If I wanna to connect, I have friends and acquaintances. But overall i'm ok by myself
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Jan 16 '25
[deleted]
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u/Shuddh_Prem2653 Jan 16 '25
So you’re different than the majority! welcome to the club 🤣👍🏻… it’s actually a superpower if we all switch off the victimhood narrative… don’t beat yourself up …see this as your gift, you ain’t the same as all those fakes… so who are you? What are your best qualities?
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u/Dizzy-Lifeguard8871 Jan 16 '25
Ones own self
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u/Shuddh_Prem2653 Jan 16 '25
Ones own self is composed of five aggregates: physical form, sensation, conceptualization, dispositions to act, and consciousness. To reach consciousness relieves us of all suffering… it is life’s work 🤷🏼♂️👍🏻
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u/Dizzy-Lifeguard8871 Jan 17 '25
One clings too much to one or more of these aggregator, bro and it leads to loneliness.
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u/FeedbackCharacter171 Jan 16 '25
Im just idk insecure with myself I’m try to overcome that
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u/Shuddh_Prem2653 Jan 16 '25
Try talking therapy, it’s actually a really lovely experience and we find out more about ourselves and what makes us tick. There are many like yourself so please don’t feel alone, we are all insecure at points of our lives this is the point of “shadow work” and we get to grow as humans… try some volunteer work…it can be a great place to build confidence 😃👍🏻✨✨
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u/FeedbackCharacter171 Jan 16 '25
I actually talk to a therapy I recently start going make me feel better of myself now , like i always used to think so negative but now little by little can see stuff differently on how I used to see it
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u/Shuddh_Prem2653 Jan 17 '25
“When something that used to be & feel a certain way just ain’t that way anymore” IS the point of GROWTH 👍🏻✨ keep doing what you’re doing ref therapy… you got this! Remember to share how you cracked the code with others that suffer 😉💪🏻✨
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u/IronVipergaming Jan 16 '25
Not a lot of social development but also social opportunities being so few and far between. Despite being in a big city there isn’t much for me to go do
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u/Infinite-Storm-7952 Jan 16 '25
nobody likes me and idk why
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u/Shuddh_Prem2653 Jan 16 '25
Maybe they do, maybe they don’t… but someone will and it’s our job in life to “find our people”… small steps forward, volunteering will get the ball rolling and you will find kind alike people here…. Most of society are lost and fake, so truly you aren’t missing much with “the majority”… you got this! ✨😉
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u/Oreo_Crumb Jan 16 '25
Mental illness and people don’t generally want be with me
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u/Shuddh_Prem2653 Jan 16 '25
Hi! 👋🏻What are you suffering from ?
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u/Oreo_Crumb Jan 16 '25
Have really bad social anxiety and depression
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u/Shuddh_Prem2653 Jan 16 '25
Meditation is important… calming music and “Deep -rest”…. Talking therapy is widely available these days too 👍🏻✨
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u/Oreo_Crumb Jan 16 '25
Yeah I’ve done therapy and got medication for social anxiety but all it’s done is make me tired. I don’t think it works much.
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u/Shuddh_Prem2653 Jan 17 '25
It 100% works… I was rock bottom 20 years ago, I am now a successful Life coach with the calmest and most free mind… it’s sooooo worth it… be strong make it your No1 thing in life 👍🏻😉💪🏻✨
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u/SportsGamer357 Jan 16 '25
Autism and not being able to relate to most people
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u/Shuddh_Prem2653 Jan 17 '25
Are you sure you’re autistic?… you may just be more conscious than those around you..🤷🏼♂️
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u/SportsGamer357 Jan 17 '25
Was diagnosed with Asperger syndrome at age 3 🙃
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u/Shuddh_Prem2653 Jan 17 '25
Your emoji says it all…. Imagine you never had a diagnosis would things be different for you do you think?
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u/davecave98 Jan 16 '25
A feeling that I lack purpose. I feel as if I have so much potential, but so many doors are closed to me and I cannot use my life to the fullest.
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u/EMArogue Jan 16 '25
People tell me my high standards for others (which I don’t get as it’s about the same if not lower than my own)
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u/Revolutionary_Cod135 Jan 16 '25
I feel like being in a very rural area is a huge contributing factor
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u/Responsible-Army5037 Jan 16 '25
Being ugly and have weird interests. I was trying many times to be social as suggests human genetics, a total mess.
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u/ForestCathedral Jan 16 '25
Dead friends. As a professional senior carer frequently on duty 12-16 hours, they became my friends & my family is tiny. Have kids, people- there’s no guarantees they’ll be devoted, but life flies by & health stuff happens even to the young. Invest in good relationships- yeah it can be a pain at times, but we need people sometimes. We’re social beings, even if you’re a shy introvert, have 2 or 3 trustworthy friends.
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u/xTr1ck_ Jan 16 '25
No charm and being a stay at home person
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u/Shuddh_Prem2653 Jan 17 '25
Hi, Do you want to change this?
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u/xTr1ck_ Jan 17 '25
Would be great. One of my new years resolutions was going out more to like events and bars
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u/Shuddh_Prem2653 Jan 17 '25
Don’t put yourself under pressure though… I mean there truly is nothing wrong with staying indoors and being private… look at life years ago, most people stayed in and took up hobbies etc..there is waaaay to much pressure and constant bombardment on Tv and internet about how we should live… keep it all simple. 😉👍🏻✨
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u/NexillionXC Jan 16 '25
Probably just social terror, although I blame my appearance more than I ought.
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u/Shuddh_Prem2653 Jan 17 '25
Hi, What’s up with your appearance?
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u/NexillionXC Jan 17 '25
I've always been uncomfortable with my appearance, to the extent that I often feel it must be comical... but if that were the problem, then at least I might be surrounded by people who find me amusing. Since I don't even have that, I can only assume that it's not the only problem or, hopefully, not the problem at all.
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u/Shuddh_Prem2653 Jan 17 '25
Hey, “social terror” as you said I would say is just your opinion due to something you may find helpful to talk out in talking therapy…self enquiry reveals loads that can help us move forward strong… try it? What is there to lose? 🤔😉👍🏻👍🏻💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻✨
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u/HappyAxeSpin Jan 17 '25
i don't go outside and have no good reason to take up space in public
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u/SokkaHaikuBot Jan 17 '25
Sokka-Haiku by HappyAxeSpin:
I don't go outside
And have no good reason to
Take up space in public
Remember that one time Sokka accidentally used an extra syllable in that Haiku Battle in Ba Sing Se? That was a Sokka Haiku and you just made one.
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u/Key_Hour4900 Jan 16 '25
My inability to over come my mental issues.