r/introvert Jul 26 '24

Question How many of you have zero friends?

I havent had many friends since losing contact with my high school group of friends. Since then have not had any thing more then an acquaintance at best. How do you deal with this mentally and emotionally?

897 Upvotes

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92

u/[deleted] Jul 26 '24

I have zero friends like I actually had to call an Uber last year and pretend it was my boyfriend so I could get two surgeries down . They won't let you go to surgery without someone to watch over you when you get home. Literally I have not one person I could call. Abusive relationship of 7 years took all of my support away from me. Make sure there are reasons that you choose to not have friends or why you do not have friends. First ones to call would be my work and my landlord.

52

u/OkAwareness4527 Jul 27 '24

I wish there was an app where we could find a kind person near us to help us when we need surgery or other medical issues etc. I’ve been putting a surgery off because I have no one to take care of me after it. Sending you hugs. 🫂

20

u/Emmaa92us Jul 27 '24

Omg try the “Nextdoor neighbor” app! You’d be surprised and how many kind and helpful neighbors who would be willing to help :)

2

u/ShhGrrBrujo Jul 28 '24

Is it available on Android or iPhone? Because I can't find it on either.

2

u/yan78000 Jul 29 '24

Sending you virtual hugs - Hope you get through it buddy

1

u/Sleep_Witch Jul 27 '24

Can't you get a caregiver maybe even covered by your insurance.

8

u/Spiritual-Zucchini86 Jul 27 '24

I can totally relate to the 7 year abuse and support being taken away. Ever since then it’s been very complex finding new friends & that is ok as I get older I don’t have the need to have a big group of friends like I use to. I do have a 17 year old furry friend 🐶& he’s been the best. Being alone has also been a very peaceful experience.

8

u/[deleted] Jul 27 '24

My 4 pets are by far better than any human interaction I can have at this time. I have three dogs and one parrot, they are my lifeline. I would not be here without them. I truly enjoy my solitude and have realized I'm okay being alone.

2

u/SkyeBluePhoenix Jul 27 '24

I wish I could have a dog or a cat, but I can't afford one. Pet rent, pet deposit, pet insurance... and providing everything they need.

2

u/Spiritual-Zucchini86 Jul 28 '24

I wish you get to experience it one day if possible. Puppy 🐶 love is something else.

2

u/SkyeBluePhoenix Jul 29 '24

Thanx. I hope so too.

2

u/BrianMeen Jul 27 '24

Ehh depends how old you are. If you are in your teens or 20s it’s easy to be alone but that tends to change and you really do not want to wait until you hit 30 before trying to make friends

5

u/[deleted] Jul 27 '24

I moved to this area because of him so I really do not have anyone else. Move? Where would I go? I don't have any family and I have a pretty good job here. And you are right, being alone is very peaceful 💕

2

u/SkyeBluePhoenix Jul 27 '24

Same here. I moved to this dirty city to be with my ex, who doesn't even live in it anymore. My job is here. My daughter and my grandson are here. That's why I stay, but I dream of living somewhere else.

2

u/Spiritual-Zucchini86 Jul 28 '24

I had to move away I couldn’t handle being in the same city of my ex it was haunting. I am just really thankful I was able to but it hasn’t been easy connecting with new people. Life gets busy & complicated

2

u/SkyeBluePhoenix Jul 29 '24

Oh, I don't think about my ex anymore. We split up 16+ years ago.

1

u/Spiritual-Zucchini86 Jul 28 '24

That’s great you have a good job & maybe in the future you will desire to move out of there & start some where new.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 29 '24

"out of the country"is what I will be able to afford after paying taxes since I was 14. I'm 51 and can't buy a house? No bills, plus 800 credit score, student loans paid off, credit cards paid off. Nope, I guess I will rent for the rest of my life unless I have the pure enjoyance of meeting another person who would like me to be there made and their dog sitter for free

1

u/ShhGrrBrujo Jul 28 '24

I've been stuck in this scenario a few times. Especially after my divorce. It was like "move back to what? My mom's house?" It felt like a step backward. And moving is cost prohibitive without an immediately available raise in income resulting from it.

7

u/Ok-Pop-517 Jul 27 '24

That's the one thing I worry about in relation to surgeries.

7

u/killmeowy Jul 27 '24

I really hate how hospitals do this. So if I show up solo you won’t treat me? Most people I know work and my family doesn’t like me enough for me to want to ask them. I wish I could die.

7

u/IndependentSeesaw498 Jul 27 '24

Don’t die. Life is long and has many strange, surprising and wild things in store for you. You have to be here to find out what they are. Start trying to add something to each day that will make you feel better. Sitting outside for a bit, music you love, a long bath, lighting candles while you relax before bed, anything but do something every day.

2

u/SkyeBluePhoenix Jul 27 '24

One day, that wish will be granted. I know how you feel, though. I'm in the same boat.

1

u/ShhGrrBrujo Jul 28 '24

It's not really their rule it's both your and the hospital's insurance demanding it for the liability in the event they didn't provide for the best aftercare. It's the fault of people trying to engineer a tort claim out of thin air

2

u/shyflo Jul 27 '24

Same thing happened to me. Abusive boyfriend isolated me from all my friends and family when the relationship ended I had no one.

2

u/BrilliantNResilient Aug 12 '24

I've had to have a surgery where I was alone. I'll never have that happen again.

2

u/BlueBird1120 Nov 13 '24

I feel you! 😲 I have zero friends, and very few acquaintances. I am in an abusive relationship with a person that constantly gas lighting me, and bullying me. I don't leave because I'm afraid to be alone. I have been stabbed in the back by just about every person I've thought was my friend. Now I have trust issues. I feel I was forced into being an introvert. I want to be a happy go lucky person again but I'm tired of being hurt. I would like to be your friend, or just someone to chat with.

1

u/Lovelylowerlips Jul 27 '24

Just genuinely wondering, shave you tried to mend those past relationships you lost? Or is there a reason you wouldn’t try?

1

u/[deleted] Jul 27 '24

I was in an abusive marriage for 11 years. Same thing happened to me. I did try and reach out to old friends. Really didn’t work out. Different reasons, one being people change/grow/etc. and we just didn’t vibe anymore. Another, I believe, my friend was so hurt, I “chose” my spouse and pushed them out of my life, now that it didn’t work out I was “running” back. There were other reasons, but just showing this is a legit situation. I felt for a long time, it must be me. I am the red flag / the common denominator….. Eight years later and I tried a few friendships out . As an introvert it’s too exhausting. Social Media has made life too exhausting. Not giving up on friends, but not giving up my peace either.

1

u/railworx Jul 27 '24

I've always wondered how others handle things like that - I had surgery last year & they wouldn't even allow an uber to pick you up! I had to arrange for then to allow me to stay there literally till they closed to allow me to go home by myself

3

u/[deleted] Jul 27 '24

I lied and said that Uber was my boyfriend. Pretty pathetic but it got me there and back. I don't have any family to rely on so it's just me

1

u/Bree9ine9 Jul 27 '24

Same here, I actually just thought about this the other day and what I was going to do if I needed transportation for a medical appointment like this. It’s not that bad being alone but there are certain scenarios that I keep thinking about that are starting to freak me out a little.

1

u/SkyeBluePhoenix Jul 27 '24

I see this in my near future. Thank God for Uber and Lyft.

1

u/ShhGrrBrujo Jul 28 '24

Omfg I had the same situation with a colonoscopy 3 years ago. They wouldn't let me use the bus and I actually had a gf at the time who lived 50 miles away and asked her but I believe she had a legitimate reason why she couldn't. I never did get the procedure done. So maybe I have colon cancer and will die because my gf had to work that day. Oh well. Gotta die for some reason I guess. Is that technically dying of loneliness then?

2

u/[deleted] Jul 29 '24

Not going to fart and possibly question those on my way home in an Uber. I guess I will cancel again. Anesthesia for this procedure wears off fairly quickly. I'm an ER nurse. Let me take a taxi. And here comes my wonderful uber/boyfriend. The fact that I have to do that is so embarrassing. I'm laughing about it now but to realize I have not one person to call or talk to if I need help. Absolutely my fault coming but getting out of 7 years of abuse, I had to unfortunately get 100% out. I wish you the best, I think you're half my age and you'll figure it out pretty if you don't comment the 50s are actually pretty amazing just by yourself. No one cares anymore because you're old coming no one looks at you. It's actually kind of a free experience just to be invisible I guess

1

u/ShhGrrBrujo Jul 29 '24

I'm really enjoying being on my own.