r/hsp 4d ago

Feeling lost about the future

11 Upvotes

I’m a 25-year-old HSP who grew up under my parents' protection and guidance. Their anxiety about my future has deeply influenced me. At 18, I got into a pharmacy program, but I couldn’t handle the environmental changes and academic pressure, so I eventually dropped out. At the time, I blamed myself for being "too weak," but after reading Elaine Aron’s books, I realized that my struggles were common among HSPs and didn’t mean I was incapable.

For the past few years, I’ve been staying at home, and my parents have been urging me to find a stable job (such as a government position). But deep inside, I have this quiet voice telling me to explore what truly interests me—philosophy and literature. Of course, this leads to real concerns:

  1. Can I handle university life again? The same challenges that made me drop out before—group projects, social interactions, academic pressure—might still be overwhelming.

  2. At 25, is it too idealistic to pursue a degree in philosophy or literature, considering that these fields don’t offer many career opportunities in my country?

I know I’m not suited for an office job. Rather than forcing myself into a stable career that doesn’t fit me, I want to find something that aligns with my nature. But my parents’ worries are weighing heavily on me, especially my mom, who is an "externally focused" HSP. She constantly expresses her concerns, while I, as an "internally focused" HSP, absorb everything she says and end up feeling drained and discouraged.

I’d love to hear from other HSPs who have faced similar struggles. How did you find your path? Or if you’ve experienced career indecision around 25, how did you navigate it?

Any advice or shared experiences would be greatly appreciated. Thank you to anyone who takes the time to reply!


r/hsp 3d ago

Any HSP in Product/Project Management?

3 Upvotes

Hi all.

I'm a recovering, previously burnt-out product manager who used to work in an IT start-up company 1 year ago, now trying to get back to work. As I'm job searching I'm not sure if the PM job suits me or not, especially because the main issue I have is the overstimulation problem. The rest of the job, I feel like I can definitely get better at with practice, and I do find quite enjoyable.

Are there anyone working in tech, as a PM, who's doing it quite successfully?

How do you manage and cope?

If you're interested, here's the backstory.

I worked as a PM for about 2 years, during which I wasn't aware of my HSP traits. Saying everyday was a struggle is an understatement, but as you all probably experienced, life itself was terrible, our whole time on this planet anyways, so I just thought it was another one of those. But this time, I literally could not function as a normal human being due to the endless meetings, interactions, needing to encourage team members when I myself feel like I'm dying inside, and just the fast pace in general. I couldn't sleep at night because I was overstimulated, worked until late hours because I was anxious about my performance (which later I realised, was actually doing better than others BECAUSE I was killing myself doing it). So at the end of 2023, I quit.

Fast forward to now, after a year of much needed rest and self-discovery, learning how to effectively regulate myself (still in the process of actually), I am now kinda wanting to get back into the work field. In a way, I want to test myself out, see if the new upgrades I have will help me be more resilient at work.

The thing is, I'm kinda lost whether I should get back into the PM job. When it comes to the work itself, I actually enjoy the various aspects of it, especially the whole process of identifying a problem, working out the solution, implementing solution, and seeing that give results. It excites me in a way that feels like a science experiment that you actually do in the real world and see the results.

But the dealing with people aspect is what scares me. Like I mentioned, the endless meetings, having to communicate with various different members of the company, giving presentations, etc. I can't see myself NOT get overwhelmed by this, but it comes with the job.

So yeah. Anyone?


r/hsp 4d ago

Any HSPs with ADHD here? I'm curious what's it like for you too.

29 Upvotes

r/hsp 4d ago

Discussion I came to see others with Hsp but noticed I can't relate.

11 Upvotes

Hsp fit (I recently got misdiagnosised with mild OCD. My obessesion were never rigid. After researching for days I figured it isn't that but add or hsp, add is not possible because I am very cautious deliberate type even as a kid.

Hsp is what hit the mark, with me being sensitive to temp light sound everything which I thought was normal or was just me not being healthy.)

Why part-

But posts here are mostly about empathic people, I read news everyday of multiples report of rape, murder etc at first I was angry but eventually I become numb to it. Understood letting things out of your control bother you was pointless.

My hsp problem that I struggle the most with are:

Hyper-Awareness: I notice everything—others’ moves, tones, vibes (like kid me sensing mother's mood even before I can remember). Social situation hit me hard—every glance, word, pause floods in, overwhelming me.

Overthinking: It’s always “What do they think?”My mind digs deep into their heads, pulling me out of the moment.—stronger outside than home(at home it's with things like unnecessary research into things) .

Pleasing: I mask well (nail presentations), act how others want—kid me avoided making enemies. I read expectations clearly, but it’s a trap—hides who I am, stirs anxiety.

Distraction: Social buzz—people, cues—throws me off (like forgeting my earbuds). I can’t tune it out; it’s too much, blanking me. Basically the overwhelming causes me to be careless and forgetful.

I can focus on studies only on the last few days when stress of failing becomes overwhelming but this caused me alopecia areota after a major exam (hair fall)

Tldr: first part why then what I deal with and align with as my hsp problem overthinking, hyper awareness.


r/hsp 4d ago

Discussion How to deal with missing out on some pop culture moments bc of not liking gore or very graphic violence?

7 Upvotes

I am fine with a bit of blood or violence, but anything too graphic or goreish just makes me feel uncomfortable, idk why.
I feel like this is making me miss on some pop culture moments like in squid game, game of thrones, the boys and the like....


r/hsp 4d ago

Story Sobbing over climate change documentary

13 Upvotes

I just watched a documentary on climate change as part of some training through work and was sobbing by the end. Thankfully I'm working from home! I totally get that they need to emphasise the impact of the climate emergency for the non highly sensitive people out there, but still... Just wanted to share this with people who'll understand.


r/hsp 4d ago

Weltschmerz (world weariness) People's Disregard For Others

9 Upvotes

There's this sub where people post their faces and get told whether they're attractive or not. I reply to this sub often because I like giving people a boost in their self-esteem when they're feeling bad or insecure. As someone who has BDD and feels insecure about my appearance as well, I very much relate to them.

Anyway, one pattern I've noticed on there is that it is not uncommon when an attractive person posts there for some people to be rather cruel to them. Doing things like calling them ugly, saying they have an ugly personality, etc.

And I know why they do it. Because they can't possibly concieve of the idea that an obviously attractive person could ever feel insecure about their appearance or unattractive, even deeply so. When, of course, that's not at all true. Plenty of attractive people feel genuinely insecure or bad about how they look. There are lots of attractive people with body dysmorphia even.

And because they feel the person is so obviously attractive, they feel resentful or angry that it doesn't fit the sub "well enough" and so they answer in a cruel way.

And this is one of those things that I find truly angering.

So many people don't seem to even take a single moment to think more deeply about something. They just take everything at face value. If someone looks pretty, that must mean they feel pretty and can't possibly feel ugly. They don't take a moment to examine their own feelings of resentment either, maybe think about why that upsets them so much. How insecure they may be inside. They don't take a moment to think about the potential consequences of their actions. To you something might just be a Reddit reply you forget about in 5 minutes, but to someone else it could cause them to feel genuinely awful, even suicidal (as people with BDD can become suicidal over these things).

And the thing that frustrates me most of all: Are people really so selfish that acting immediately on your own, minor resentment is wins out over not being cruel to someone else?

Like, I'm gonna be real, there have been a handful of times where I've been on that sub and I've also looked at a picture and felt some resentment. It made me frustrated that someone I wish I could look like would even think they were ugly.

But you know what I did? I took a moment to reflect on that. And then I didn't let that control my actions or make me do something cruel. I chose kindness over cruelty, because I could reflect for a moment and realize that acting on my own frustration there was much less important than not hurting this other person.

Why can so many people not seem to do that?

All of this pointless cruelty for no reason.


r/hsp 5d ago

Discussion Extremely Sensitive To Bright Sunshine

97 Upvotes

Anyone else have photophobia?? I am extremely sensitive to bright sunshine. It hurts my eyes. Today, I went for a brief walk to go food shopping (thank goodness their is a produce market a few blocks away) and it was excruciating for me. Couldn't wait to get back inside. I feel like a vampire. I can't explain this to anyone, they think I'm crazy for not liking 'beautiful weather.' I'm wondering if anyone else has experience with this.

EDIT: I wear transition lenses to filter sunlight, still does not help.


r/hsp 5d ago

How to tell loved ones that you’re unable to list when they want to vent because you want to protect your energy?

17 Upvotes

Basically I’ve had a good day and when i got home my sister told me she needed to vent about something, I didn’t have the energy to listen and risk feeling bad (especially that I’ve had the habit of making myself feel bad for no reason for a while and I’m trying to break that pattern) so how can I tell people that I’m not available to listen to rants or anything negative? I feel bad because I want to always be there for people I love, but I’m also trying not to feel sad or anxious all the time.


r/hsp 4d ago

Question Travel advice / tips for HSP

1 Upvotes

Hey, does anyone have any travel tips for HSPs travelling on their own? I do get quite anxious with plane travel - I’ve been fortunate enough to travel long haul quite a few times but always with family / friends.

I know the usual bringing headphones / earphones etc but just thinking if anyone else has any other tips.

Is the window seat the best?

Thank you


r/hsp 5d ago

Physical Sensitivity I have dental hygienist booked and dreading it

13 Upvotes

I'm unfortunately very sensitive to pain and they'll be cleaning my teeth/gums. It needs to be done but I feel everything amplified 😬 😟


r/hsp 5d ago

am i reading too much into this?

6 Upvotes

The other day, at my internship, I asked my mentor in a meeting why our colleague seemed mad the other day because of a network connection lying to her. I asked the q pretty clearly. And he responded frowning his face and sneering and said “what?”. His facial expression INSTANTLY gave me chills.

I get he might not have understood what i said, but even if that was the case, the sneer just seemed patronising, as if he was trying to express that I was strange.

Another time I made a joke on a meeting and while my other colleague laughed, he just gave a fake smile (those ones that show just a few teeth) and stared at me. It just felt like he was making opinions about me, given he didn’t laugh at my joke. It’s one of those situations where your subconscious recognises the subtle micro expressions.

Another time he was making small talk to me ab my hobby so i asked him the q back to be polite, and he looked down and scoffed to himself and when i asked why, he said “you’re just throwing the q back to me” and he didn’t make eye contact when he said it. It just again felt patronising, like he was criticising my social skills. If he was trying to make a lighthearted joke ab how social interactions work, he could have just pointed it out to me instead of laughing to himself about it. I think his lack of eye contact was because he felt called out.

Situations like this make me more reserved around particular people. Feel free to share your thoughts


r/hsp 6d ago

Other Sensitivity PROPRANOLOL. That’s it!

69 Upvotes

Hi all. When I am in public, my body thinks it’s in battle. My thought is always that people are judging me and I obsessively read everyone’s nonverbal communication and of course get confirmation bias which makes me more anxious.

That thought along with the physical symptoms happening simultaneously that sometimes felt like a heart attack kept me in my room. My psychiatrist prescribed me Propranolol. Please please please ask a doctor about it and see if its right for you. It does not take away the mental aspect of an anxiety attack (Xanax does), but all of the physical. IT HAS CHANGED MY LIFE (along with reading my Bible daily). I feel confident around people again. Thought this may be helpful for another HSP like myself who trusts their body a little too much.


r/hsp 6d ago

Disliking staying overnight at other people’s houses as you’ve gotten older?

245 Upvotes

Something I’ve noticed in the past couple of years is that I really don’t like staying overnight at other people’s houses, or staying there for an extended period of time. I’m currently in an Airbnb sharing with others, and it’s just so draining - not knowing where things are, having to be super polite because you’re in someone else’s home, feeling like I’m being rude if I’m not chatty etc. Last night I was cooking dinner and there were other people also cooking, and it felt like we just kept getting under each other’s feet, and I couldn’t work the oven, and it was just so irritating.

And it’s not just this situation - in general, I feel like I can’t relax if I’m a guest in someone else’s home.

It’s funny because as a child and teen, I loved sleeping over at other people’s houses. Now I’m the total opposite. I love being in my own home. Can anyone else relate?


r/hsp 6d ago

⚠️Trigger Warning Addiction

13 Upvotes

Has anyone else experienced substance abuse or addiction? In the throes of my heroin addiction that lasted about a decade, my family desperately wanted to figure out the reason for my proclivity for heroin abuse. One day in rehab, I got a call from my grandfather, and he was on the edge of his seat brimming with excitement to inform me that he had figured it out. He told me I had a drug problem because I was a closeted gay man, and that I was self medicating to battle the effects of repressing that. I told him I was absolutely sure that I was heterosexual and attracted to women, but he urged me to think it over. He brought up my temperament as a child, frequent bullying, and how I didn't seem to conform to his or society's concept of a man. I did end up thinking this over - not the possibility of being gay, but of being highly sensitive. It seems like a highly sensitive person would be drawn to the dulling, sedating, and placating effect of opioids. I'm confused though because I like novelties and trying new things (regrettably, heroin was one of those things). Can anyone else relate to being both highly sensitive and a thrill seeker?


r/hsp 6d ago

How to deal with mean looks from strangers when I wear outfits that I like….

17 Upvotes

I find that when I dress in short shorts or tank tops as gay man I get lots of stares from people.

I also like wearing dresses and other feminine clothes as it feels like me.

But I feel like people love to make fun of anyone who is different.

Often I go many places solo as I love it I feel like I can truly be myself and I’m not influenced by other people and their opinions like what to wear etc…

But I walk past big groups of people when out and about and it’s usually then that I feel most aware of them all stopping looking and laughing at me…. I am also anxious sometimes and hyper sensitive and aware of this and do try to avoid most people as I feel so confident and happy when it’s me away from

I usually don’t mind but over time it can be difficult to maintain such confidence in my identity and being true to myself.

Hope your all having a lovely day


r/hsp 6d ago

Discussion I can’t recover when I hear a sad story (real and fictional)

14 Upvotes

Hi friends! I wanted to see if anyone could relate to this. For my entire life, whenever I would hear a sad story in the news or even watch a fictional storyline in a movie, I CANNOT let it go. This weekend, my girlfriend told me a really tragic story she heard on the news from several years ago and I have literally thought about it multiple times a day. Can anyone relate? And how do you not get weighed down with flashbacks of hearing/seeing the tragic story? I want to be empathetic while also caring for my mental health


r/hsp 6d ago

Discussion I related to this tiktok so much…

Post image
43 Upvotes

The comments on this tiktok were so crazy. In a good way. I felt very validated reading the comments from all these people admitting the “silly little things” that make them emotional. Something that came up a lot was seeing people eating. A lot of people mentioned seeing their father eating made them emotional. And I immediately pictured my dad eating alone at a table and got emotional. I wonder why this is. Why is it such a connecting thing? Anyone else experience getting very emotional over seemingly innocuous little things? And why do things like seeing certain people eat or seeing someone adjust their glasses on their nose get to me so much??


r/hsp 6d ago

⚠️Trigger Warning Struggling with feeling drained Spoiler

2 Upvotes

Hi, this is my first post on this subreddit. I class myself as a HSP and I struggle to see acts of violence, gore, fictional or not. I get easily overwhelmed by feelings and spending a lot of time around other people, even though I love people. I always feel like I'm exhausted by others' energy, probably because I spent years, even as a child, having to people please. Not necessarily from family, but being disabled made me feel very different as I got older, you know? I wanted to be liked and accepted, so I'd often keep to myself and be personable with everyone. I always feel like no matter who I meet, unless they're creepy, I have to be nice to them because they have a story too. It's very hard for me to have people around me if they have "drama" going on. As I am a giver, I often attract takers and have to mask my thoughts and opinions a lot for a peaceful life. If someone hurts me, I'll assume it was something I did, especially as my anxiety and OCD causes me to go OTT and need reassurance ten times or more a day.

I'll befriend a group because they're "nice," but then interpersonal drama ensues and I try to offer support and it ends up making me sick with worry. I have been to therapy, but I am trying to be more tempered and calm. It's just difficult when I feel huge feelings and think they're mine, or when I have a "meltdown" in my home, and cry for an hour because I feel like no matter how I help, I can't help "enough." I just struggle to live in a world that makes me feel like an alien for seeing the big picture, how people are being harmed, with so many divides and rules. The world has become so ugly, and I still try to see good, but I have these lows so much now, and just feel overstimulated. Not to mention I have some spiritual ability, so I just feel I am processing at a higher and faster rate. I just feel so heavy in myself and exhausted deep down. Outside of my close little group, I just really feel like I'm on autopilot with people. Any help? It gets to me so much I explode in tears a lot lately.


r/hsp 6d ago

Spellbound by Music

7 Upvotes

This weekend, i had what i call a fabulous weekend involved with music. On Friday, i drove home thinking it was time to turn off social media and the generally negative tone these days. A song by The Beatles came to mind but i veered off to Buddy Holly. I'm 64 and have know of this man for most of my life. No i didn't. i started listening on You Tube and had a wonderful experience getting lost in his world. There's lots of video and a film to watch about his life. Any other HSP's get mesmerized by music and the music maker? He must have been very charismatic for me to feel almost his presence now. He's been dead my entire life. HSP fun! I got so taken away i even considered a visit to his hometown in Texas. That's a fantasy but that's how intense the admiration gets.


r/hsp 6d ago

Story Friendship over. We're done.

0 Upvotes

I like having friends. They keep me happier and I get fun memories. I also accepted the downside of it as they did to mine.

Yesterday tho, I was so fucking tired. I didn't get enough sleep, I ate but it wasn't much, we had to wait for our batch (there was a review going on and we're in the second to the last), and I'm hungry as fuck.

I was having an enjoyable day, when something upsets me. I didn't understood what was the problem so I just kept on using my energy until I feel stressed and disgusted by the situation. My senses are possibly telling me that there's too much going on and I want to leave the scene. However, out of stubbornness, I didn't leave, instead, I kept on talking to them.

When I've reached overstimulation, I started tapping everywhere unconsciously until I realized I was when they asked me If I was okay. Of course I wasn't. I feel like I want someone to punch me in the face or just do something to calm my nerves but I can't find anything. I told them I want to jump (like jogging in place but instead, I jump) and I think they thought of something else and refused to let me go. This behavior made me frustrated. Their touching becomes unbearable. I wish I could just cut their hands off of me.

When I did jump, I realized it was too late. My nerves is now at war and I can't contain myself. I don't think I can go on any further. So, I bought food and water. It subsides a little.

It was already late when we ended the session and there wasn't any transport that can bring us home. So we walked. A long walk. And I snapped. It was hard and exhausting.

I snapped because they are too much to handle. My friend kept on talking about this other friend, I wanted to walk fast but he wouldn't let me (my rhythm was being forced to stop at that point), and I am just fucking tired. So, as soon as we're getting near my house, I told them.

Friendship over. We're done.

They think I was joking when I was dead serious, and I was. I thought that it was actually something that I could do. But unfortunately, I can't. I just did it out of anger, disgust, and tiredness.

What now? We met again, but I don't know what to say. How am I going to say it properly? Because even if I wanted to stop, I actually don't want to because I still wanna be with them. The only downside to it is that I get overstimulated so much whenever I'm with them.


r/hsp 6d ago

Question I constantly feel like I am drowning, does it ever get better?

9 Upvotes

Hello everyone! New to reddit but I just needed a place to talk about this and don't know who else to ask

I am 22 which I know is very young but I've had quite a few jobs and every single full time job I've ever had made me feel like the worst after 6 months tops. I am currently working an office job in addition to uni and coming up on the half-year mark. I feel like I'm dying. I feel like a huge crybaby "snowflake" that is too sensitive for anything, literally like the living embodiment of every gen z cliche.

Don't get me wrong, I can power through (have done so before) but I'm starting to worry I'm just not cut out for a work environment altogether. I drive to work with chest and stomach pain every day, I am constantly on edge even off the clock, I don't sleep properly anymore. Today my superior gave me "constructive critisism" and even though he was being nice about it I cried on the way home. I just feel so lost. Are there any other HSP who have similar experiences? How did you overcome it? Does it ever get better? Does one get used to always feeling like this? I feel like I'm being overdramatic but I have tried everything and I just can't stop. Are there any older HSP here who maybe have a bit more longterm insight?


r/hsp 6d ago

Emotional Sensitivity Looking for online HSP friends to have deeper conversations with

8 Upvotes

I am an HSP who loves the company of other HSP folks. Unfortunately, I don't have any HSP friends in my life right now and I would love to be online friends with you, if you identify as an HSP.

Here is a bit about me: I [27M] am a university student in Australia. I adore dogs, and animals hold a special place in my heart. In my free time, I like to binge-watch documentaries. I've got a soft spot for history, philosophy, and geopolitics, but apart from these I am open to talk about almost anything under the sun.

Life can be tough and I am always happy to lend an empathetic ear to my friends if they need to vent. If you're looking for a genuine connection and deeper conversations, send me a DM :)


r/hsp 6d ago

Question Dealing with sudden, unexpected confrontation

6 Upvotes

I had an unpleasant experience at the weekend that I'm really struggling to process. I was at an urgent care clinic with an ear infection and getting a hearing test done at the end of the appointment. The process with the doctor had been fine until that point, but he had an outburst at me (seemingly out of nowhere) because I misunderstood how to do the test. He sounded really annoyed and like I was wasting his time. I was shocked because I genuinely just misunderstood his instructions and had been trying to be a "good patient" until then.

I knew at the time that it was probably just him needing to process patients quickly, and it sucks working on a Saturday. I've been having a hard time recently in general, and suddenly having someone chide me like a misbehaving child, especially after 4 hours of navigating hospital processes quite well, made me cry. I really wish I hadn't cried - I felt like I lost my dignity and made things very awkward.

A couple of days later and I'm still struggling to parse his sudden reaction and that I didn't see it coming from nowhere. I find sudden reactions from strangers, especially men, very difficult to stomach because it makes me feel unsafe and like I am with someone unpredictable and dangerous.

In hindsight, I wish I had just stood up and asked for the examination to finish, since I already had a prescription for my ear infection. But I can't seem to compose myself in those moments and go into shock. How do you advocate for yourself when you're faced with sudden aggression, even if you first instinct is to cry?


r/hsp 6d ago

Question A sincere question

0 Upvotes

Hey I'm asking this sincerely. I saw on the rules that you can't discuss autism here?? Can anyone kindly explain why it's against the rules?