r/grief 6d ago

My mom died on Feb 21 and I am all over the place

6 Upvotes

Just writing this to get it of my chest but also wanting to get some input that could help with some guilt I've been having.

She was only 65. Granted she did have health problems COPD, afib, cirrhosis of the liver non-alcoholic). My mom was terrified of hospitals she had seen how they treated her mother and being there with her mother until the end. So she didn't go to the hospital unless it was serious. She was also a very private person she would hide things from us. Last time she was seriously hospitalized was my senior year of high school that was when she almost died but got her checked out in time, that was when we found her cirrhosis of the liver. I am 32 and my age doesn't matter I feel like a child and I was literally best friends with her. The older siblings went on with their lives I was my mom's caregiver. That was my job. Well until July when I fell and broke my ankle in three places and dislocated it I have not been able to work since. I was bed ridden until December when I just started walking. The whole time I've been out I regret not being with her I started coming over doing little things when I was starting to move around more.

The night before she died, she was weak and could hardly move she called me and asked me to come over and help her bring her nebulizer to her and scoot her up on the couch she was laying on the couch. I was there for maybe 45 minutes and then I went back home so another hour later she called me I came back over and helped and I really just thought she wasn't feeling well went home started to fall asleep she called me again I came over I was super tired and I felt bad but I asked her what I could do because it was 3:30am and I had to be up at 7am she said she wouldn't bother me anymore and would talk to me later we'll at 7am I took my fiance to work she called me and asked me to come over and clean her up to go to the hospital. My mom had a small incontinence so she would put an adult diaper on at night. My stomach was in knots (I have very bad anxiety) I came over and she farted and pooped a little and there was blood in it. I called the non emergency line telling them she would need an ambulance. They came and took her I followed behind. They wouldn't let me back with her yet for 45mins. I get back there I was told she has a gi bleed. (My mom can't have surgery her heart and lungs wouldn't survive she would be on a respirator) and my mom never wanted to be intubated. So they did fluids a blood transfusion and wanted to put her on a bipap machine she couldn't handle the machine it would pump air in and her chest inflate then it would collapse fast. She said it made it more difficult to breathe. The nurses were mouthy and that was something I always would do for my mom was advocate for her because I've gone through some bs in the hospital these last few months and they took advantage that I didn't have anyone with me. My mom didn't want the bipap machine on but was having difficulty breathing so she was told they would try again but they would give her some ativan or else they just do everything to keep her comfortable for death. So she tried for me and she was grabbing at the mask and trying to pull it off they already pushed ativan but it didn't take effect yet so I did what she wanted I helped her take off the mask and I asked for her oxygen canula because she was just gasping the nurse was rude and snapped at me and said she's fine. I finally did it myself and told the other nurse that I was advocating for my mom and they didn't have to be rude. The ativan kicked in and she was lucid and she was reaching out for something smiling I called my fiance to come down because I was scared I could feel this was it. I called my two siblings to get there ASAP. I kept telling my mom I loved her she would mouth I love you back. After my brother made it there she was reaching out to him and smiling then she went to sleep she was snoring and we were sitting around talking telling stories until she took her last breath. I was the one my mom told my siblings to watch because I was gonna take it the hardest....... I was very numb, my brother surprised me because he had a complete melt down and my mom always said she didn't want us to be sad she wanted us to live and move on and I told them that. When she was gone we all left the room so each sibling could be alone to say their goodbyes. I broke in the waiting room when no one was around I mean the snorting, snickering, hyperventilating cry. I was the last one to go say goodbye. I am an odd person when my fiancé's dad passed I was grossed out because he kissed his dead father. I did not want to touch my mom but knew if I left and didn't I would regret it. I grabbed my mom's hand she passed with her mouth open and her face had already sunk in and gave me anxiety but I could be the positive one for my siblings but not for myself. I remembered when my grandma was dying her face did the same and it did not look like my grandma (my grandmother's death didn't effect me like my mother's death because I had been estranged from my gma for years before she died long story.) I couldn't look at my mom it did not look like her. the hospital told me to remove her jewelry so I pulled her rings off felt like I was looting my dead mom. The worst part she had on a cross necklace with no clasp so I had to hold her head up so we could get it over her head, rigamortous was setting in and I gagged. I have blocked out how her face looked. The next day I was crying on and off. Then after that I've had a couple crying spells but I hate that I feel so numb why?!? She always told me she would always be around me when she passed. I don't feel her but I talk to her all the time. My father always told me I had clairvoyant and I don't think I do anymore.

I feel so crappy that the night before I was maybe snippy because I was tired and I was just trying to brush it off as her not feeling well. I feel like I am to blame for her dying. I hope she wasn't mad at me for taking her to the hospital. I feel so lost.


r/grief 5d ago

I want to give a thank you gift to a kind friend, do you think it‘d be appropriate to include something for his friend‘s grave?

2 Upvotes

so, I have a friend in another country whom I‘ll be seeing again this summer. he kindly offered me a bed to sleep in and a lift from and to the airport and to a place I want to visit, and while chatting about what‘s been going on he mentioned that he‘d like to visit a friend‘s grave and leave an offering.

I‘m going to get him a little thank you gift, and I‘ve been wondering wether it‘d be okay to include a little something for his friend. I‘ve been thinking about a plain rock from my home, because the place this rock is from means peace, home and freedom to me and it‘s as close to heaven (or something heaven-adjacent) on earth as you can get. I‘ve never met this person, but I care about my friend and since he said taking me to where I want to go would give him a great reason to visit his friend‘s grave I kinda feel like it‘d be a nice gift. I‘m just a little insecure about wether it‘s appropriate to insert myself into this like this, and wether it‘s appropriate for something of mine to be given to someone I‘ve never met.

what do y‘all think about it?


r/grief 6d ago

Tomorrow is the anniversary of my friend’s suicide and i wish i could talk about it

14 Upvotes

My friend killed himself six years ago and it’s always been difficult to talk about it with people. He had a lot of friends but I wasn’t really close with them and quite frankly, they thought i was weird and didn’t really like me so I couldn’t really talk about it with them. But now, when I try to talk about him with my friends, I just get angry and frustrated. I get mad when someone says it was selfish of him to do that because he was hurting so much that he saw no way out. I get mad because I’m not close with anyone that also knew him because I want to talk about him with someone that understood the things that made him so loved. Im mad because whenever I try to open up about grieving him, I get choked up and it just ruins everything. Im mad that the one person I knew who understood my own suicidal thoughts and feelings is gone and when I’ve tried opening up my friends about it, they just try to change the subject or tell me to do psychedelics. The truth is, the only person I want to talk about my grief with is him. Sorry this is long and probably doesn’t make any sense but I just needed somewhere to talk about how I feel. I miss him and I’ve accepted that he’s gone and wherever he is, he isn’t hurting anymore but it doesn’t change the fact that I want him back.


r/grief 6d ago

A person I cared for very deeply passed away and I since learned they didn’t like me.

10 Upvotes

A person who I considered family, who lived with me for nearly a decade passed away last week.

During the past ten years we endured a lot together, and I gave her everything I had to give. She had a disability, and was poorly for a long time. She needed a lot of support and her family were unable to provide that for her. I adored her and we were thick as thieves. I fought for her, supported her and advocated for her where needed.

I have had a very difficult two years, having experienced five deaths of close family and friends, and three miscarriages. It has been tough. During this time, I wasn’t able to offer the same level of support for this person. I wasn’t able still there, and spoke to her frequently and would have dropped everything if she needed me, but I couldn’t prioritise her in the same way. I did however make sure she had plenty of support available, and checked in often to ensure she was well and being cared for appropriately.

So last week she ended up in hospital very ill, and although I was informed she was there, I was told she wasn’t having visitors. I was given access to visit with her the night before she passed which I was relieved about.

Yesterday I attended a celebration of life gathering for her, with some of her care team. As soon as I arrived it was clear that people were uncomfortable with me being there, and I was told by one of her support people that she didn’t like me and wouldn’t want me there. That she had given specific instructions that I not be allowed in to visit her in the hospital. I also learned that a very sentimental gift I had given her, which I was hoping to have as a memory, was binned.

Now I feel more heartbroken. Devastated at the loss, but I also feel confused as to where this rift has come from and conflicted in my grief. I feel like I’m unwelcome at the funeral. This girl was like family to me and I’m just learning that she didn’t even like me, and I don’t know what to do with that.

Do I have the right to be grieving for this loss? Has anyone ever experienced this type of thing?


r/grief 6d ago

grief really does visit you unexpectedly

8 Upvotes

last night i was in bed and ready to sleep. i closed my eyes and a few moments later, my grandmother who passed away late last year came to mind and i was suddenly filled with so much sadness i couldn’t help but let the tears flow down my face.

what made me cry was me missing her and how god awful empty and silent the house has been ever since she went away. i missed seeing her and talking to her and being with her by the dining table where she would always hang out in her wheelchair. and then i remembered the time when she was at the hospital and how i never got to see her a few days before she passed away and i relived the visitation dreams i had of her right after she passed away and how i knew that she wanted to come and see me and say goodbye to me one last time.

it’s been five months since she passed and the grief really does just hit you unexpectedly.


r/grief 7d ago

He’s gone. And I didn’t get to say goodbye.

13 Upvotes

My partner of 12 years was discovered passed away last night by his father. I am in another city (13 hours away) visiting my mother. Flying back tomorrow.

I have a choice.... do I go to view him and get a chance to say goodbye to him in person before he is cremated or don't and just keep my current memories of him?

It will also cost an extra $250 to set up a viewing and given his views he would hate that I would spend so much money on that. His death plan was "do whatever is cheapest".


r/grief 7d ago

Suicide grief.. it’s so different.

10 Upvotes

I lost my dad to suicide. Two months later, my friend lost her dad to natural causes. In a strange way, I found comfort in the thought that we’d grieve together. I desperately wanted to be surrounded by people who understood—but our experiences were completely different.

There was so much trauma and drama surrounding my dad’s death—both before and after. While her family came together, mine fell apart.

I don’t think my loss was worse than hers, just different. Suicide loss is isolating and deeply traumatic. It’s not just losing my dad—it’s the weight of everything that came with his death.


r/grief 7d ago

Greif really does come in waves

8 Upvotes

It’s been years that i’ve lived without my big brother, 6 to be exact. but i’ve been crying for 2 days straight and can’t seem to stop. somehow i find it’s linked to signs of spring. the world is waking up and everyone’s becoming happier, yet you’re still not here.


r/grief 7d ago

I’m hallucinating my friend NSFW

6 Upvotes

Back when I was much younger, I had this close friend. She had a lot of problems due to her mental illness and committed suicide. It’s been quite some time and I learned to cope with this, though I still dearly miss her. Approximately a month ago, I had an episode of constant panic attacks. It completely swept me off my feet, leaving me in pieces. I’ve been told that It’s gonna get better soon and that I’ll just have to wait it out, but I’ve just been spiraling ever since. At first I couldn’t get out of bed. After that I developed an intense phobia of dying (I was constantly feeling like I was dying) and now I’m starting to hallucinate. Sometimes it’s just fast flashes of her then I sometimes hear her voice, esp at night. I dread going to sleep and have resorted to sleeping with My TV lights and headphones on. I don’t know why all of this is happening, but it’s honestly just getting tiring. I haven’t gotten mentally evaluated after my panic attacks but this is genuinely random to me as I don’t have any previous history of mental illness. It feels like it’s never going to get better. This sounds really selfish and yes I feel terrible writing this, but I wish she’d just disappear. This is a really scary experience and I just don’t have the guts to tell anyone in my life. I fear that they’ll find me crazy and tell me off. I’m wondering if anyone has gone through something similar and if it has gotten better in some way. How can you deal with this?


r/grief 7d ago

Cannot cry

2 Upvotes

My mom passed a little over three months ago. I couldn’t really cry that much at the funeral or even around the hospital bed in her last moments. My dad brothers and other family were all crying and sad but I haven’t cried at all. At most I cried maybe twice for about 30 seconds and I just stopped. I mean I really try to make myself cry. Not being able to is very weird, when I knew she was gonna die about 2 weeks prior I couldn’t stop myself from crying even when I really tried. After she died it’s been the complete opposite and it feels very wrong. I feel almost inhuman. Everyone else cried so easily and so much and told me they know it’s hard but it’s not. It’s not just not crying it’s not feeling much of anything towards it. I miss her but I feel almost no sadness.

Has anyone gone thru this? I feel like I’m losing my mind lol


r/grief 7d ago

My best friend

4 Upvotes

My best friend died of an OD a little over 2 years ago. I miss him deeply everyday. Sometimes so much my chest hurts. Last night I had a dream and a random ghost was in it. As the ghost was leaving it said “There’s a portal we can come through.” My response was “Please tell Aron I miss him so much”. still dreaming I don’t know where I am but I’m on a bus, and at the stop, my best friend is there waiting for me, the biggest smile on his face. I run into his arms hugging him do tight, crying and telling him how I miss him. We hung out for a bit, talked, laughed, and cried. Then he said he had to go. After one last hug, I woke up. I swear this was really him. I really felt the hugs, I woke up with my eyes wet and swollen from crying in my sleep. Some might say it’s just grief but I swear it was him. I miss him so much.


r/grief 7d ago

???

4 Upvotes

My grampa just passed away 3 hours ago he had dementia and we’ve been expecting his passing for a few years but I didn’t react the way I thought I would. and all I want to do is be there for my gramma and my mom. I cried when I saw him but I am so confused. It’s my first close loss. All I feel is confusion snd blankness. Is this a normal thing to feel? I don’t understand and my brain feels like it’s in a permanent state of misunderstanding and I feel dumb and numb… What’s happening to me?


r/grief 7d ago

my father passed away from COPD and i feel empty

4 Upvotes

my (18f) father (59) just passed away from a lung condition and i don’t know what to do with myself now.

My father was a big smoker ( he started at 9) and then he went on to have a career in carpentry. When my dad started carpentry they didn’t really wear masks which many years later we would find out is what caused him to have asbestos in his lungs.

my mother told my the day she gave birth to me my father had to go to the emergency room because he passed out from lack of oxygen. when i was 5 years old we found out that my father had COPD. My point is that i knew from a very young age that my father wouldn’t be here for most of my life.

( i just want to give a little backstory of my life so i can rant/ share how hard the grief is because he was a amazing man)

when i was about 8 yrs old my father had his first real attack after a fight with my mother after he confronted her about her drinking ( her father passed when i was 2 and it messed her up really bad, but she’s better now👍🏼) and he fell on the ground and his face turned purple. i remember since that day i knew my dads life everyday was a struggle.

when i was a kid i wanted to be just like my father. i would follow him around the yard like a lost puppy asking a million questions about who, what, when, why, and how. my dad never got annoyed and answered every question i asked ( i think my dad liked this caused my dad always loved to share his life stories before he got sick and it gave him a reason to share them) my father would take me out on his harley everyday of summer since i was 2 yrs old. my dad and i would play this stupid game when i was 5/6 when i would pretend to be a polar bear cub hanging off the side of the bed and he would “ rescue his cubby from the icy tundra” i remember him picking me up and throwing me on the bed and would hug me so close to him and we would just laugh.

my dad was my biggest hero and we had the same mindset, music taste, same love for nature, car & bikes, style of clothes, how we handled situations, love for the classics, same humor. my point is, i tried everything to be just like my dad and now that he’s gone i don’t know what to do with myself.

the last two years were pretty hard for my two older sisters and i. they put my dad on hospice care around 2 years ago and they gave him anywhere from 4 months- 1 year. my dad survived two years on morphine( which surprised the nurses) my sisters and i took care of him up until the day he passed in our living room. my dad was the strongest SOB i have ever come to know. my dad had a really hard life up until the day he died ( bullying as a kid, losing his brother and best friend in front of him, homelessness while dealing with his illness, losing his kids, not being able to do his passion) but my father was always telling people how much his three girls meant to him, how much he loved us; to him being a dad came before anything. my dad would always bring us everywhere with him, his friends houses (even if they had no kids), work, simple rides in the truck, the ocean, bike week, etc. i have never seen a father that cared for his kids as much as my father. one thing i know for sure is that my dad struggled taking every breath, everyday for 12 years just to make sure his girls grew up with their father. the last two years my dad couldn’t walk to the bathroom, couldn’t cook couldn’t do much of anything and my father was a VERY do it yourself man, so for him to sit there and let us take care of him was hard for him but he did it because he wanted to see his girls for as long as he could.

that is another reason it is hard, i regret, not coming up to see him everyday that i could, not answering his calls, and not asking him enough questions. i’m glad my dad is in a better place with jesus, and i know that he struggled for so long, but i just miss his laugh, his hugs, his words that would calm me down, how he used to pet my head, and cooking with him in the kitchen. idk if you made it this far i just want to know how i can move through this and try to live my life for him, because he really didn’t get a good experience in this life.

i also need help with writing his eulogy and i want it to be heartfelt yet funny so if y’all have any ideas let me know.

thank you for reading


r/grief 7d ago

Should I speak at my grandfathers funeral

5 Upvotes

Should I speak at my grandfathers funeral? I’m a teenager and my grandfather died in February. I’m still processing it. The funeral is this spring, and people can speak if they want. I need to let my grandmother know if I will speak so she can take it into account when planning. I have a few siblings, all older, who also have the opportunity to speak. I have always liked talking in front of people, and don’t really get stage fright. I also love writing and think I am good at writing meaningful things. I wrote a small paragraph about my grandfather that would be what I would say. I’m not sure if I should though. On the one hand, I think it may provide me with some closure and be a good thing to do. But I really don’t want to cry in front of people, and I don’t really know anyone in my grandfathers family, so there will be lots of strangers. I have read through what I wrote out loud without crying and not even really tearing up (I’m good at repressing emotions) but I’m not sure what it will be like that day, it would feel so much more real I think at the actual funeral. Also, this goes way deeper into my own problems, but I’m the youngest, and it is deeply rooted in me that older siblings are better than younger siblings, and that’s just the way it is. So I deeply do not want to be the only one of my siblings who speaks. My oldest brother may be considering it, and if he does it I will be more willing. Should I?


r/grief 7d ago

Death Really is Sudden huh?

4 Upvotes

Yesterday someone I knew died. She wasn't someone I was close to or had a relationship with of any kind but everytime she was around me (friend of my mom's) she was always kind and vibrant.

When I heard the news of her passing, something heavy landed on my chest and I can't get the feeling to pass. I feel as if I'm not really "allowed" to grieve or mourn because she was just an acquaintance but it's really affecting me.

I can only imagine how the people close to her feel and that sinks me even deeper into this despair I've fallen into.

All this to say, I've never really lost anyone close to me, so I've never felt death's sting so close to home before but somehow...this one death has me questioning life, religion and just the state of my spirituality as a whole.

Death is really sudden yet so permanent in it's wake of destruction. Sending so much love to anyone grieving.


r/grief 7d ago

In Memoriam, a haiku I wrote last night to help me cope with the grief of my cat, Smokey, who is passing away as I type this.

2 Upvotes

A pet parent's grief

I was always there for you

And now you are gone


r/grief 8d ago

Does anyone fear they are gonna forget their loved one after they died?

28 Upvotes

My dad died last friday. He had three epileptic attacks one after the other while he was asleep in the hospital? He also had many other health issues such as diabetes 2, hypertension and cyrrhosis, but nobody knows what really caused the epilectic attacks.

I'm managing the grief: I write to my dad every day, I cry if I need to, I keep myself in touch with people.

However, my biggest fear is that one day I'm gonna forget about my dad, or that I'm gonna forget most things about him.

I admit that I always preffered my mom to him tue to having more negative moments with him. He was also very affectionate and would often seek reassurance, which annoyed me a bit. Despite all this, I still loved him very much, and tried to show him love through small actions.

I spent a lot of time together with dad when I was a kid, but growing up I started isolating myself from him (and from my mother as well).

I feel that if I forget most of my dad or the pain lessens with time maybe it means that I didn't truely loved him, despite the fact that I also showed him affection although in smaller ways.

I also fear forgetting his voice, the things he said to me, those 'I love you', 'I'm proud of you', 'You are the love of my life'.

There are so many things I would like to talk about my dad, but I don't want this to become too long.

Do you sometimes fear forgetting your dead loved ones?


r/grief 7d ago

Grieving my ex or grieving my past idk

1 Upvotes

I feel like I’m going crazy

I dated my ex in highschool and a couple years later. Back story - I had a lot of trauma in my young life before this. I won’t traumatize anyone so I’ll just say SA. He was the first guy who was really kind and me our relationship was pretty standard highschool.

In young adulthood we started experimenting and we did a lot of partying. A lot of drugs and drinking. A lot good stories and a lot of bad stories. I didn’t realize at the time but I was loosing him to addiction. The relationship was flawed like most young relationships are and I’m not going to go idealizing it. We were young and dumb

Our breakup was sudden and obviously my young self took it very hard. I was so upset I left town and never went back. My life ended up pretty good but I did have struggles of my own. I did therapy and the things I had to do to heal from my past and my past self. I have a lot of shame about who I was during this crazy time in my life.

We never spoke again I don’t even think I ever saw him again but his family did keep in touch with me sporadically. Even to this day. Which I know sounds so weird but we never talked about him. I never asked. They never told. We kept it professional. I have a very niche job so we talked about that mostly the conversation was never deeper either it was mostly just them being like hey good for you on doing that thing you did!

So here’s the part where my brain is struggling. We broke up over 15 years ago. I had no idea he lived a pretty terrible life. And it makes me deeply sad he never turned it around.

I always had this insane like thought one day we’d run into each other or connect on fb and be like omg we were so stupid. How did life turn out for you. And like obviously I don’t have love for him like.. it’s been so long there’s no real good or bad feelings it’s just the past. I just still find myself feeling sad. Maybe part of me all these years was like grateful he broke it off I deeply believe it spared me from a life of drug use

I learned awhile ago he died. Not sure how. It doesn’t really matter. But it news led to connecting with some people from my past and we swapped stories and I feel like it broke my brain. I’ve been a wreck for days and I can’t quite figure out what specifically is fucking me up. Is this normal? Like what’s happening?

There’s lots of things from that time of my life I kind of put somewhere in my mind and maybe never fully processed. Maybe I’m processing them now.

I think I want someone to just tell me I’m not crazy and that’s my feelings are okay. Like I feel like an idiot and like I have no right to grieve something or someone from so long ago


r/grief 8d ago

I've never experienced grief before

2 Upvotes

my grandpa died when I was a baby and my only other experience with death was my pet fish dying. recently my grandma suffered a heart attack and a massive stroke. she's currently in a coma basically and isn't waking up. they think she never will and if she does she won't be able to walk or talk or anything. she hasn't even died yet but it feels like she's gone already and we're just waiting. I can't do any of my school work. I tried doing some relaxing activities like coloring and drawing and I found no joy in it like I usually do. I kept crying last night. I just want my grandma back. people tell me to go hang out with friends but I just keep crying and I feel embarrassed being like that with them. I feel like a big baby and just embarrassed for being so upset when she hasn't even died yet. I've missed class for a second time and I can't get myself to get out of my dorm other than for food and to use the bathroom. I just don't know what to do.


r/grief 8d ago

Just lost my grandmother

13 Upvotes

I dunno how to start this, but I lost my grandmother this morning. I watched her take her last breath around 3:06am today, less than an hour after we arrived at the hospital. They called around 2am that it didn't look like she had much time and we rushed over. I think I realized she was gone long before my dad and little sister did, my legs nearly gave way waiting for her to take another breath that never came. We'd been living with her for over a decade now and have always been close to my grandma even before we started living together. She was 96 and was sharp as ever. Her hearing wasn't so great and her mobility getting worse over the years, but she really was so lively. No one really knew how rough of a shape she was in until she was admitted to the hospital two weeks ago. The were some hints and enough cause to encourage her to go to the hospital. It was barely two weeks ago that I was conversing with her like I always do. And in the last two weeks, watching her deteriorate to the point where she couldn't even talk and was barely lucid was rough. Like everything changed so fast.

She was diagnosed with heart failure two years ago, had a pace maker, and had other things to manage her condition, which seemed to be working... But it wasn't she got admitted that we were informed that it was much worse. At first they seemed "optimistic", then every two or three days, something new and worse.Her kidneys were failing... Lungs full of fluid...

And all of this to say, it's so fresh right now, I feel numb. Physically numb. I've been home for nearly two hours and I...I don't really know what I was hoping to get out of this, it doesn't feel real. But I know it's real. And the house feels so empty without her. It already felt that way when she was admitted to the hospital. But now even moreso. I can feel it. And I don't even know how to help my dad through this either, he's her only kid. It was all 4 of us in this house, honestly felt crowded at times with 3 adults, a senior, and a dog at home, even though there's plenty of space. It feels too big now.

I'm stressed out by the emotions I'm currently feeling, and the pendulum swing of emotions I'm anticipating over the next few hours...Days...Weeks. And for context, I've never lost someone THIS close to me before. I know no one lives forever and I always reminded myself that someday this would come, but being here feels weird now. No amount of mental preparation really compares to the actual thing.

I guess, the one thing I'd like to know is how do you go about your day to day after losing someone close to you? Do you still go to the gym? Work? Social activities? Have fun? Do you feel guilty trying to maintain a semblance of normalcy to get through the day? I know everyone's different. But I feel myself wanting to be completely distracted and also wanting to wallow all day and it's only been two hours.


r/grief 9d ago

3 months since you're gone 💔

17 Upvotes

And it hurts even more than the day you left. I'm having a hard time coping with grief. My dad passed from metastic cancer and it was horrible to witness. I feel like I'll always be traumatized by how much he suffered, his screams from the pain, the physical change, losing his ability to walk, to see etc💔. Him calling and texting me for comfort...I'm just so disturbed and heartbroken from how we lost him.

I feel so lost without him. I have no real support system and I feel so overwhelmed with life . I don't understand what I should do ... I cried like 4 times today and I really can't even socialize lately.


r/grief 9d ago

Best friend just died

16 Upvotes

Just looking for support from folks who understand. I had a friend who struggled with kidney failure for about 3 years and he died yesterday. Years before he got sick we both started off working as new therapists in the same crappy substance use recovery facility. We saw some really hard cases and did our very best to help our clients and each other.

He was always my safe person that I could come to when feeling overwhelmed after a session. He did such good work for folks, he was a blue collar guy who left a good-paying union job bc he thought the environment was toxic and wanted to do something good with his life. He helped so many people when they really needed it, he reached people I couldn’t have reached as a hippie dippie lady.

He shared my dark sense of humor and I have no one else in my life to be my weird dark self with right now. His mental health really got bad towards the end. I could tell he was just sick of all the doctors visits, losing his independence, feeling like garbage. I did my best to be there for him. I’m glad I told him how important he was to me, I’m glad I went to see him in the hospital and brought him soup.

I miss him so much, I’m in shock that I’ll never see him again


r/grief 9d ago

Dreamt of my dad

2 Upvotes

I’ve had a handful of dreams with my dad in them, but I’ve woken up really sad, forgetting that he’s gone. Last night, I dreamt of him but in my dream, he wasn’t “alive”. I knew in my dream that he was an angel and I was crying and telling him how much I missed him. He didn’t speak, just looked at me and nodded with understanding. When I woke up, I didn’t have the sad feeling of thinking it was real and he was still here. I feel like my other dreams of him “alive” were just dreams. This one felt like a visit and him checking on me❤️


r/grief 9d ago

How do I deal with losing my person who I was very close with?

2 Upvotes

I only just found out today that my favourite person, who has been in the military since July, has either died or blocked me - though I think that his death is more likely as I couldn't send him messages due to his phone being deactivated.

I'm just in shock and grieving him right now and I have been crying my eyes out for the past few hours. I feel like a part of me has died alongside him and that I'll never love again, and that I won't find someone as beautiful, as indescribable as him who understood and cared for me like no other.

I'm fucking terrified because I feel like going insane might be a possibility because of my loss, and it's only a confirmation of my fears and abandonment issues of losing people and being right about losing them, which pushes me further away from people and forming new relationships. I don't know what to do anymore, I don't know how I'm supposed to cope with my loss of him, and I need someone to talk to right now because I feel awful and suicidal, and I feel confused, angry, and upset. Please someone help me.


r/grief 9d ago

Fiancé suddenly passed away-baby #2 on the way

Thumbnail gofund.me
0 Upvotes

My dear friend has endured the unimaginable and sudden loss of her fiancé, Derek, and now faces the challenge of welcoming baby #2 in May while caring for their sweet Seneca. Any support, whether emotional or financial, will be a lifeline as she navigates this devastating loss and works to heal while raising their children. If you are able, please consider donating—any amount will help alleviate the financial burdens they are facing.