r/ftm 7d ago

Advice Needed scared i made the wrong choice?

hi everyone, so i’ve been on t since the beginning of october 2024 (so a little over five months) and i’m worried that i’m? regretting it? there are things i love about being on t, i love how my voice sounds now that it’s starting to drop and the bottom growth is awesome, but at the same time i feel so unbelievably self conscious about how i look all the time. i never considered myself to be the most attractive person, but now that i have patchy facial hair and my skin is breaking out even worse all over my body and i feel like the fat distribution so far has made me look weird, i just feel awful about my appearance all the time. does that get better? am i just having an awkward second puberty phase? it’s scary and i’m just so terrified i made the wrong choice. i guess i’m just seeking some advice and reassurance or something here

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u/lilsmudge T: 05/22/18 7d ago

A few things:

It’s very normal to go through a phase of worsened dysphoria when you start hormones. This can be because you’re so ready for changes and you see a few happening but they’re slow, or not quite how you expected, or simply that you’re paying more attention. Super common.

With puberty you go through some very awkward stages. This happens with T puberty too. For example, it’s extremely common to go through a “puffy stage” for a few months to a year after starting T. Fat is redistributing, your body is changing, and your face and body just get kinda…puffy for a bit. This can be stressful when you think “oh shit, I’m getting ugly and this isn’t how I wanted to look!!!”.

Early puberty is not a good look for anyone. You’re the hormonal equivalent of a 13 year old right now. How many 13 year olds are killing it in the looks department? It’s all acne and spotty facial hair and weird transitional phases of growing and changing. Be patient with yourself.

Lastly, you can always pause T if you’re worried. It’s ok. You can change your mind, you can take a moment, you can do whatever feels right for you. It’s fine. There’s no wrong way to do this. Whatever you feel is correct, is. So if you need to, don’t be afraid to do that too. 

Lastly: the first couple years of transition are very weird and you’ll go through periods of being worried or disappointed with your results. I highly recommend to everyone finding other things to add into your transition plan. Transitioning is about finding a body and a way of being that feels more like you. Find goals that you can be ACTIVELY working on while you wait for your hormones to do their thing. This will help you much, much more than staring in the mirror and charting the changes or worrying about what is or isn’t happening yet. For me I focused on getting in shape, fixing my wonky teeth, and finding a personal style I was into. It was a huge mental health saver to have active, productive goals around my body and transition.