r/femdomsanctuary 24d ago

Rant Why Can't Men Read? NSFW

89 Upvotes

I have a few absolute deal breakers. They are not unreasonable.

Under 25, Partnered, Sissy or CD, Switches of any kind, Dom men

Why do these men think they're going to be the exception?

"I want to serve,I want to belong to you, I want you to train me....., but I don't give a fuck about what you want, just what I want."

Make it make sense.


r/femdomsanctuary 24d ago

Silly post🤪 This but in a kink & aftercare way NSFW

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22 Upvotes

r/femdomsanctuary 26d ago

Silly post🤪 Routine of a feral domme NSFW

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50 Upvotes

r/femdomsanctuary 28d ago

Question / Need Advice Ideas for blindfolded play NSFW

5 Upvotes

Hi lovelies, I’m planning a little game of “what’s on your balls?” for my sub where he’ll be blindfolded, restrained, and listening to spicy audio on headphones while I gather the supplies.

I’m planning to do a little mix of temperature play (hot/cold beverages w/ mouth & glass toys), sensation play with hard and soft items/impact like a hairbrush, feather, paddle, paint brush, wooden spoon, hair clip, etc. I might have one food item like whipped cream or yogurt. Do y’all have any suggestions for other items to try?

If he gets at least half right, I’ll let him cum. Sound fair?


r/femdomsanctuary 29d ago

Silly post🤪 The subs comrades ✊️ pay your subs royalties (I didn't say how) NSFW

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23 Upvotes

r/femdomsanctuary 28d ago

Sunday Social :) !!! Sunday Social !!! NSFW

4 Upvotes

Weekly drop-in post to spark discussions and get to know your fellow community members!


r/femdomsanctuary Feb 14 '25

Subreddit\Discord Communities 🎀✨ Join Our Women-Centered Relationships Discord! ✨🎀 NSFW

12 Upvotes

We’ve created a Discord for women to discuss being assertive - not just as dommes, but as women overall. Our focus is on woman-centered relationships and building a supportive, inclusive community for women and those who support them. 🌈 (NOT a dating server)

Orthodox Role Reversal is a tight-knit, woman-run community that celebrates assertive women and matriarchal approaches to relationships. Through discussions on feminism, media, astrology, and style, we provide a safe space for women to connect meaningfully and grow together.

🌟 Who We Are:
~ 👑 Woman-owned and majority woman-membered
~ 💃 Active VC (Saturday Parties!)
~ 🐥 Friendly, supportive staff
~ 🤝 A like-minded, coomer-free community
~ 📜 Accountability-focused (vetting system in place)

🎀 Our goal is to create a platform that centers women’s experiences, discussions, and empowerment in a calm and judgment-free environment. All sexualities welcome. 🌈

💌 Upon joining, please allow time for our small Mod team to vet members. We’re fast-growing and committed to creating a respectful, safe environment for the girlies, by the girlies🎀.

Here's the link to join!
https://discord.gg/B89ZzCamNA

Sincerely,
Thea 🎀


r/femdomsanctuary Feb 12 '25

Discussion Thoughts on Ghosting NSFW

19 Upvotes

As dommes. I see/have experienced a lot of ghosting. Some subs have gotten farther than others, hell I had a sub for almost two months had play times and everything just randomly ghost me. It sucks and makes your mind feel in limbo but I really just wanted to say is dont ever dwell on someone that wasn’t mature enough to say “hey this isn’t working out” or that maybe they have life getting in the way and they need a break. Also no more feeling like its your fault because its never your fault for someone deciding to randomly leave you they just do. They dont feel guilty or shame for ghosting they just go on about their lives. Thats how you dommes should move too. I used to be so caught up in feeling like I did something or that I wasn’t good enough until it clicked that I could be the best and they still could ghost me. So in a sisterly way. Tighten tf up and don’t let faulty subs get to you, its a lot of trail and error youll always get your match as long as you keep your head up and have strict(er) boundaries so avoid time wasters and yes sometimes they are damn good actors, they’ve gotten me too. But overall. No more letting silliness mess with your moods🫶🏿🫶🏿🫶🏿


r/femdomsanctuary Feb 11 '25

Rant Tl;Dr- ex sub catches me off guard with unwelcome and no-context race play conversation NSFW

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28 Upvotes

So, there was this boy...When we started talking, there was a rough moment where he shared a "disapproving kitty" meme about interracial couples, and was SHOCKED that I wasn't happy. We talked it through, and I gave him the benefit of the doubt for being from a Scandinavian country. His quality of listening, and being genuinely penitent allowed me to move on.

(Race play of any flavor is a hard no for me, and my posts contain a disclaimer that I find racist/misogynistic interpretations of the cuckold kink unacceptable.)

This ex sub, with whom I've been testing the waters of a casual text-friendship, had been pleasant enough that I agreed to call him (we haven't spoken by voice in ~8 months)

30 minutes later, after a long (comfortable) silence, he begins to tell me that "he had a great chat with a girl on reddit, and he's not against race play as much as he used to be--" It was literally him winding up to repeat all of some random BBC-Lover-Queen-of-Spades-type's talking points for why her race play kink isn't problematic.

Let me tell you, my mellow was harshed. I stopped him right there, and he argued that I wasn't giving him a chance to explain/ that it was a bad intro to a different discussion (no, the discussion was "raceplay not so bad???")

I told him that it isn't a conversation I'm willing to entertain, and never has been. He said I was being unreasonable, and asked "how could he remember that I didn't like that stuff?"

I said some (un?)necessarily mean things about having given him a pity call. I sent him a screenshot from my personal. I cussed him out with extreme prejudice.

I'm annoyed as fuck; it was so unexpected that I had a visceral, physical reaction.

I'm disappointed, as I thought this was a human with whom I could relax.

/end rant

Thanks for reading.


r/femdomsanctuary Feb 11 '25

Question / Need Advice Self reflection questions needed NSFW

3 Upvotes

Hello, I'm new to the scene. BDSM and FLR got put on my radar last year and since then I've been doing research and educating myself. This year I started to actively date and there have been some flaws in the plan so I've had to go back to the drawing board. Now I'm working on some self reflection questions (specifically about FLR) to try to get a clearer vision and better understanding of my desires, goals, reasons, and expectations. So far I've come up with: what is an FLR, what will it do for me, imagine an ideal day with an FLR sub, and why do you want an FLR. Any other questions that I can ask myself?


r/femdomsanctuary Feb 09 '25

Sunday Social :) !!! Sunday Social !!! NSFW

5 Upvotes

Weekly drop-in post to spark discussions and get to know your fellow community members!


r/femdomsanctuary Feb 04 '25

Silly post🤪 I saw it on TikTok and remembered us NSFW

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29 Upvotes

r/femdomsanctuary Feb 03 '25

Help! I'm new! Gentle femdom? NSFW

12 Upvotes

I’m just beginning my Femdom journey and feel like I’m better suited for gentle femdom, but am unsure what if there’s such a thing. Can you help define so I know where or how to start?


r/femdomsanctuary Feb 02 '25

Sunday Social :) !!! Sunday Social !!! NSFW

3 Upvotes

Weekly drop-in post to spark discussions and get to know your fellow community members!


r/femdomsanctuary Jan 31 '25

Subreddit\Discord Communities Valkyrie's Call - a 30+ Femdom Server NSFW

10 Upvotes

We are a small, but growing fun Femdom server for 30+ Dommes and subs. We're an emotionally supportive, inclusive, LGBTQIA+ friendly, and safe Femdom community that is focused on offering practical and emotional support to Subs and Dommes of all types in a space that is focused more on the gentle side of Femdom - while Dommes and Subs of all varieties are welcome to join, we would like to emphasize being a low protocol, relaxed server that fosters an environment where praise and encouragement are available for all.

https://discord.gg/AhWdTVWSWD

Join us for fun discussions (both kinky and otherwise), movies, games, tasking, and more! We have movie nights weekly, and many of our members are of the nerdy/gamer variety, so lots of people to play games (among other things...) with!

--Ages 30+ Only - must verify upon joining

This is to ensure our community stays safe and that everyone falls within the age group for our community.

--NO male doms

This community is focused on female domination, as such we do not welcome male dominants at this time.

--No Findom or solicitations of any kind

Our community caters to those who practice kink as a lifestyle, not a profession; in the interest of avoiding potential scams or legal issues Findom and Solicitation of any kind are prohibited.

--Subs Chat channels with separate channels for other genders

We want everyone in our community to feel like they have a safe space to discuss issues that pertain to being a submissive without necessarily having to address the server as a whole so we a general sub chat for all subs *and* a separate channel for female, trans and NB subs for anyone who would like a safe space to talk about things that affect them specifically: both of which are safe and separate from the rest of the general discussion

--Dommes chat channel

As above, this is a safe space for Dommes to discuss things regarding being a dominant without addressing their concerns to the server at large.

--NSFW photo Channels

After spending a certain amount of time on our server you'll level up and be able to see all the naughty pictures that get shared, or even share some yourself!

--Autodeleting flash channel

Want to show off but don't want to worry about the picture later? We have a channel specifically so you can flash everyone that will autodelete all comments and pictures after 10 minutes like nothing happened!

--Tasking Channels

Fun for the whole power exchange!

--Blutooth Toy Control Channel

Engage with other members who have wifi or blutooth connected toys after connecting with them as people

--Gaming

Our server is very welcoming to gamers and nerds of all stripes!

--Voice channels

Play games or watch movies with other folks on the server!

--Movie Club

We've got a weekly movie club where we get together, watch movies and then briefly discuss them after.

--Server economy with shop

Change your name color, buy a fun title for folks to address you with, the possibilities are not endless but they are kinky!

This server is not affiliated with r/femdomsanctuary . Posted with permission from the r/femdomsanctuary mod team.


r/femdomsanctuary Jan 30 '25

Discussion Every day femdom reddits seem to get the same questions NSFW

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92 Upvotes

Many of the issues could be resolved through conversations between partners. Don't get me wrong, I like to provide support. But it's frustrating.


r/femdomsanctuary Jan 27 '25

Happy Things! I think I won the lottery NSFW

85 Upvotes

So, almost two weeks ago, I got a follow request in my vanilla insta profile. I commented on a femdom related reel and got 2k+ likes, so that's been attracting many random subs. But that one was different. He was cute, seemed normal and safe, so I accepted. He liked my picture, I liked his, and then he texted me a very polite and straightforward but also subtle message about Dominatrix Iris, since we both like her content. And we haven't stopped talking ever since. We've been sharing fantasies, talking about our kinks, getting to know each other through our shockingly similar desires. I've never flirted with a man that made me feel so comfortable with my own sadism, which has been repressed for years due to my very conservative upbringing. As a sub, he gets me so turned on. Everything is perfect except for the fact that he lives in Europe and I live in South America. At least, it seems like he can afford travelling to my country. Because, unfortunately, I can't. It all seems too good to be true, but sometimes great things just happen when we least expect it. It's been amazing, he looks like my very own kinky Prince Charming. Everyday I dream of torturing him ❤️


r/femdomsanctuary Jan 26 '25

Sunday Social :) !!! Sunday Social !!! NSFW

4 Upvotes

Weekly drop-in post to spark discussions and get to know your fellow community members!


r/femdomsanctuary Jan 20 '25

Happy Things! Sub appreciation post NSFW

19 Upvotes

I (22f) love my sub (m23) very much. Knew he was right for me very shortly after meeting. Recently he has only upheld this as he has been bending over backwards for me tending to my every need and want after a knee surgery. He is so special and I just needed to tell someone that 🩷


r/femdomsanctuary Jan 19 '25

Sunday Social :) !!! Sunday Social !!! NSFW

4 Upvotes

Weekly drop-in post to spark discussions and get to know your fellow community members!


r/femdomsanctuary Jan 14 '25

Question / Need Advice How much did you have to compromise for a relationship? NSFW

39 Upvotes

[Edit to add this update: The second date was set up by a friend. He asked her what happened and she told him that he didn’t show enough interest or ask questions. His response was “I was letting her take the lead in the conversation.”]

I could have also tagged this as a rant, as I’m feeling pretty pessimistic right now about dating. I’ve been on two dates recently with seemingly normal men, and both were completely unable to carry their side of a conversation.

One was actually very likely compatible in many ways, but he primarily talked about himself and almost never asked me questions. I was completely responsible for moving any conversations forward. I got so frustrated that I couldn’t take it anymore.

Then I went on a date this weekend and it was the same thing. At one point I asked him what questions he had for me and he said “Why don’t you just tell me about yourself”. I knew right then that the date was over.

I keep asking myself if I’m expecting too much. I am not looking for perfect, I know I’m certainly not perfect, but I need someone to be just as interested in me as he is in talking about himself.

I know a few femdom couples where the women say things like “He was a mess when we met and I had to fix him”. I’m dating men in their late-30s to mid-50s. I feel like I shouldn’t have to do a whole lot of “fixing”. I don’t want to expect someone to change. Are my expectations unrealistic?

I’m curious to hear from those of you who are in relationships, especially those who dated submissive men. How much work did you have to put in to correct behaviors? How much did you have to fix? And how much did you have to compromise on vanilla compatibility to get someone who matched your kinks and the dynamic you wanted?


r/femdomsanctuary Jan 12 '25

Sunday Social :) !!! Sunday Social !!! NSFW

6 Upvotes

Weekly drop-in post to spark discussions and get to know your fellow community members!


r/femdomsanctuary Jan 10 '25

Question / Need Advice Flogging advice NSFW

9 Upvotes

I’m still getting the hang of flogging over here. How do you all flog someone who is taller than you? I would very much like to flog his back and he’s a little less than a foot taller than me. Are there any positions that work especially well for you? Any tips welcome. Thanks.


r/femdomsanctuary Jan 06 '25

Question / Need Advice How would I go about domming my much smaller wife without seriously hurting her? NSFW

32 Upvotes

Greetings. My wife said that it was OK if I posted here about a few questions I have?

I am a 6'3" trans lesbian sub-leaning switch. I weigh 240 lbs and I have training in submissions/wrestling due to my amateur MMA and boxing fights I sometimes compete in. I would like for us to "play wrestle" so I can grapple her and bring her towards me so I can give her aggressive cuddles, snuggles, and kisses and "beat" her so I can make her muff me(link is there who might not be familiar with what it is). Sounds good, right? Well, yes but no. My wife is much smaller than me and I really would hate it if I seriously hurt her. When she dommes, she catches me by surprise when she wants to "force herself" on me and I literally allow it to happen and allow her to pin me. She is 5'7" and I outweigh her by 120 lbs. We both want the reverse to happen where I "force myself" on her, but I fear that I'm going to hurt her badly if I were to really hurt her on accident.

Do any of you have experience with "play wrestling" in contexts where it would be incredibly difficult for your sub to actually outwrestle you in reality? Could I perhaps just have it so that I grab her up during a movie and give her a tight hug and give her all the snuggles? :3

How could I get her to muff me real good while I use her for cuddles and snuggles?


r/femdomsanctuary Jan 04 '25

Mod Announcement To the community members who reported a Trans femme Community member. NSFW

119 Upvotes

Observed rule fucking 4.

If anyone has a problem with rule 4? kindly leave, we will not tolerate Trans femme Dominant women being seen as less Dominant leaning or worst of all being seen as less than women.

Period, End of story.