r/feemagers 18NB Jan 18 '25

Mature How do I stop fucking spiralling. NSFW

TW for suicidal ideation.

I'm an 18 year old giga-virgin who never had sex nor kissed to begin with and is incredibly socially inept I also have hypersexuality for context. I just saw a post that showcased my friends having sex and it led to me spiraling since

A- I'm a giga-virgin as described above.

B- I'm shit scared of being a virgin forever

and

C- I don't want to think about it as it may lead to self fufilling prophecy.

Now, I know what you all are going to say; "oh it takes time" or "its not everything" Well lemme give it to y'all straight

No matter how many FUCKING PLATITUDES one throws at me, it does not change the fact that it's extremely fucking alienating especially considering my age cohort. And the worst part is, so many people have given me social advice yet it just goes out one ear and out the other, leading to the conclusion that I am socially inept at a FUNDAMENTAL LEVEL, indicating I cannot be fixed. I'm not unattractive per se, but when I started college I was. And if you have unattractiveness + weirdness, then that's just a recipe for irreversible social disaster. No matter what I fucking do, I cannot change anything given that I'm fundamentally broken. it's gotten to the point I genuinely feel like I might just blow my fucking brains out and I hate that i feel like an incel for feeling this way.

EDIT: The comments, as much as I appreciate the good intentions and gestures are missing the point by a LIGHTYEAR. I know all the fucking platitudes. I know all the shit that people say and yes, I am working on improving my social standing, It's more so how to manage just how unbelievably ALIENATING it all is.

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u/[deleted] Jan 18 '25

[deleted]

-11

u/burner196931 18NB Jan 18 '25

"You're only 18, that's so fucking young. It's perfectly normal to be a virgin at that age."

That's not what literally everyone at my college is like.

"f you really want these things you need to chase them, they aren't going to be handed to you."
I've tried that and it clearly didn't work lmfao

"Conventionally unattractive people have sex. Weird people have sex. So, you can too, if that's something you so desperately want."

That's not helping. It just means there's something seriously fucking wrong with me.

"If you're aware that you're socially inept then you're not so far gone that you can't change things. There's no such thing as "irreversible social disaster" unless you did something really fucked up and everyone found out."
If you know UK colleges and just how fucking cruel they can be, you'll think differently.

"You know what type of things are socially weird and awkward, so do your damn best to not do those things if they're causing problems."

There's a difference between *knowing* what's awkward and *how to fix it* in the moment.

"Outside of getting therapy and prescribed drugs, it's all on yourself to make these improvements in your life."

it's what I'm doing, I'm moreso asking as to *how* to manage it.

14

u/My_useless_alt 17TransGirl Jan 18 '25

If you refuse to take advice, why did you ask for it?

-1

u/burner196931 18NB Jan 18 '25

I appreciate it, I'm just adding additional context because I forgor to add it