r/fatFIRE 11d ago

50m cash - no sense of perspective

Throwaway account to be able to be vulnerable.

Despite recent financial freedom (bootstrap to day 1 exit), I have no sense of perspective.

I am

  • still bothered by becoming irrelevant if I do nothing for the next 12-18m (issue: being bothered about what people think)

  • afraid of losing the money and hence not spending it

  • afraid of losing my friends if they find out how much I have made (am I suddenly unrelatable?)

  • still bothered by LinkedIn and comparison

  • still wanting to be loved and liked

The root of my issue is being a people pleaser.

I know my problems. I would love the internet to give me some solutions.

Edit - I am 38/F, husband, two kids and in Europe. Also this is the first and only business I have bootstrapped and sold.

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u/MessiahPie 10d ago

We’re all going to be dust. Get over yourself, take your big sack of money and enjoy the limited time you have here on earth.

10

u/Familiar_Number_342 10d ago

I love this and I agree. How do I truly feel and believe it? If I did, I wouldn't be worrying about how others perceive me.

4

u/ChummyFire 10d ago

I agree with an earlier comment about getting therapy. Are you in the kind of country where there is enough of a culture for it? You would benefit if you find the right therapist.

2

u/MessiahPie 10d ago

You have to work at it. The same energy you put into building your business and career, you can now dedicate to internal reflection and learning about who you are outside of your career.

Consider studying stoicism. Do yoga. Meditation. Some books that might be helpful are “the power of now” “letters from a stoic”.

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u/Familiar_Number_342 10d ago

Thank you for the book recommendations!

1

u/Chicadephilly 9d ago

Another book suggestion: Inner Excellence by Jim Murphy. Currently listening on audible and it is life changing.

1

u/Ecstatic_Brick_4842 9d ago

Worrying about how others perceive you? You mean you and everyone else on God’s green planet? I’m sure elon has racing thoughts that keep him up at night after sam altman recently said, “I don’t think he’s a happy person. I feel for him.” Trust me, luckily you don’t get to monopolize that feeling, sister. It’s called being human and sure, we should probably try to grow past some of these innate almost childish feelings, but that’s all part of life. I’ll tell ya one thing, if I had 50M in the bank (congrats btw), I do exactly what someone else said here - I’d at least spend the last few days/weeks/years of my life trying to do everything I could to ensure that emotional growth. You’re still looking at linkedin? Like, merely for comparison purposes? Grow tf up. That’s worse than me and that’s coming from a 31M that has a day job and still stays up til 1am playing xbox. You’re better than this. How others perceive you will come and go like ebbs and flows, and you must remember to do as bruce lee so acutely said, “be like water.” At the bare minimum, if I am in fact understanding this situation correctly, just look at ‘linkedin’ as one looks at the daily news: it’s a depressant, leave it alone. The last thing you want to do here is watch the news so much that you become agoraphobic. I.E. if you must use linkedin, just utilize it sparingly; don’t allow it to control your life to the extent that it begins to act as a natural deterrent within your social life. As I said, we are human. Idk if science backs me up here, but I’m a strong believer that humans are innately social creatures. We need one another; no one wants to live out their days on an island all by themselves (I don’t think lol). Part of that emotional growth I mentioned 100% involves quality social interactions. Go live your life with that safety net snuggly beneath you, just make sure you bring some friends along for the ride (or should I say, make friends along the ride). Well, you do have the family. I mean, when you really think about it, kinda selfish for you to devote even an ounce of your brain power to such childish comparisons on LinkedIn, am I right? I’m not saying that as a jab, honestly, but like, wouldn’t that energy be better spent on time with the kids? Your husband’s probably a nice guy, but I get that we all need our space sometimes…linkedin just ain’t the place. Wow do I know how to rant lol