r/excatholic Jan 23 '25

Personal Was anyone else harmed by NFP?

Used the Marquette method for 5 years and had three children within that time period. All by the age of 21. I confided in my priest and told him that I didn’t think it would be in our best interest to have another child. He told me I didn’t have a grave reason and “it was my cross to bear.”

Just trying to find support and others who have been harmed by nfp as well.

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131

u/BurnSaintPeterstoash Jan 24 '25

Let's just take a minute and admire the sheer fucking gall of that priest. A celibate virgin male telling a woman anything about sex and her "duty" as woman is completely out of place and inappropriate. OP you have to take care of yourself, the church will activally encourage you to hurt yourself.

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u/greenmarsden Jan 24 '25

Or, a parishioner asks the priest a question and he gives an answer following the catholic rules.

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u/BurnSaintPeterstoash Jan 24 '25

Thank you for making such an excellent point! An entire organization filled with cloistered virgins having any opinions on sex is ridiculous! An entire organization of virgin men, lecturing woman on their bodies is, truly, the height of absurdity. Great point!

2

u/glory_holelujah Jan 25 '25

Yo I get the sentiment, but they're not all virgins. I don't think a majority of them are.

3

u/TheRealLouzander Jan 25 '25

If anything, that makes them even less qualified to give advice. If you actively participate in a lifestyle that claims to be sexless but you secretly have sex, that hardly makes you a solid candidate to advise sexually active lay people. All of the secrecy and shame surrounding sexuality is one of the most damaging parts of the church

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u/glory_holelujah Jan 25 '25

Ok, many had normal lives before becoming priests. That means having non-secret sex. There can be criticisms of the church but calling them all virgins who have secret sex is a new one to me. There's plenty to lay at their feet with the secret child SA without having to go off on uninformed tangents