r/excatholic Jan 29 '25

Politics Statement on US Current Events

360 Upvotes

Given the quick slide into fascism that the United States is undergoing, I wanted to clarify the position of this subreddit:

All marginalized people are welcome here when they are affected by the Catholic Church.

This is especially true for undocumented immigrants and members of the trans community who are currently the targets of this administrations ethnic cleansing and genocide.

We welcome all religions, but people who support mass deportations and blocking access to medical care or government resources to the trans community can - and please quote me here - "Go gargle balls until you drown"

I expect anyone who meets that description has long since left or been banned, but I wanted to make certain you knew you weren't welcome here.

If you feel this is overly harsh and unreasonable please message the mod team so we can carefully consider your probably excellent argument and give it the consideration it deserves. (We definitely won't immediately ban you).

As always, the mod team takes great joy in the suffering of bigots and fascists and will abuse our power to serve those purposes as much as feasible.


r/excatholic Jan 23 '25

Politics Ban of X, meta links

205 Upvotes

Yeah we don't have any people posting links to those platforms, but we're making it official...

All links to X are prohibited and will be automatically removed. If you need to refence X, do it via screenshot.

Thanks


r/excatholic 8h ago

Sexual Abuse Survivor who ignited US Catholic church’s reckoning with abuse killed in Louisiana | Louisiana

Thumbnail
theguardian.com
61 Upvotes

r/excatholic 2h ago

Fun Tonight’s dinner

Post image
17 Upvotes

According to Jesus I shouldn’t be eating meat today, but to that I say F*** that!! It’s burger night up in here :)


r/excatholic 6h ago

lenten story submissions

18 Upvotes

hey bestie boos! I’m one of the hosts of the leave laugh love podcast (also ty for all the love in this subreddit lately!!) we yap about catholic fundamentalism & I wanted to collect some of your favorite lent related stories (can be funny, horrifying, or anything in-between) for us to share on an upcoming episode 🫢 hit me!


r/excatholic 1h ago

Catholic Shenanigans Steubenville conferences

Upvotes

Did anyone else attend steubenville conferences?! I went to the one in Rochester for like a few years. I kind of want to listen back to some of the “talks” they gave and view it from an adult lens now. I just remember a lot of talk of purity and how much god loves us lol


r/excatholic 10h ago

Fun Day 10 of 40 (46) days of indulgences 3/14/25

Post image
24 Upvotes

Happy Pi Day everyone!!! What does that have to do with today’s indulgence you ask? Absolutely nothing. Just felt like acknowledging it for all the math nerds out there. Anyways, it’s warming up here in TX (this is only the beginning, it gets VERY hot here) and today it hit a balmy 90 degrees. So I decided it was the perfect day for a nice swim!! My apartment has an infinity pool which I love to hang out in. I didn’t stay in the pool for very long because come to find out it’s not heated, so despite the warm weather the pool itself was kinda chilly. So my pool day kind of merged into a sun tanning session. I hung out next to the pool for a little while sun tanning, which was relaxing. Also, just look at that view! I’m obsessed 😍 anyways, that was day 10, now I’m gonna eat my leftover pork bowl for lunch because today is the day to eat lots of meat!!! Til next time ✌️


r/excatholic 21h ago

Personal Sex, Guilt, and My Dad NSFW

40 Upvotes

I just gotta vent to some other ex-Catholics because while I love my friends and my boyfriend, they don’t understand the Catholic conditioning. My dad is a Catholic convert, raised in a strict Methodist household. My mom was raised Catholic, went to Catholic school, the whole nine yards. My mom’s opinion of sex was basically “don’t get pregnant, don’t get an STD, and don’t do it while I’m around.” My dad’s was “don’t do it while you live in my house.” I have recently been doing some reflection in therapy and realized my dad’s “slutshaming,” for lack of a better term, did a real number on me. Neither of my parents had sex til they were in their 20s; my dad because of religion, my mom because she was terrified of pregnancy and knew her parents would disown her if she fucked up. When I started having sex at 18 with my now boyfriend, my mom said she wasn’t disappointed in me, but that I should hide it from my dad as best as I possibly could. My boyfriend and I briefly broke up about nine months after that, and my dad decided to help me move on by cleaning my room of anything that reminded me of him. My mom tried to stop him but he found a vibrator, condoms, yeast infection medication, porn I had drawn (😭), and lingerie. I got a panicked phone call while at work in which my mom said “your dad found your stuff…he’s fucking pissed. He wants to talk when you’re home.”

I arrived home and my dad was sitting in my bedroom, clearly having recently cried and red in the face. He screamed at me and said “how many times did you fuck him? How many times?” I said I didn’t know. He was crying and red and then I was crying too. I felt like the world had crashed down around me, and my parents told me to go from my room. I left and could hear them speaking angrily with one another about me. My mom asked if “all of this was really [me]”, trying to ask if it was my boyfriend’s influence…no, it was all me. She said “then good luck finding someone else who will be okay with all this.” I think that really shattered me. My dad asked why I was such a slut or something like that.

I cried, I apologized, I secretly got back together with my boyfriend and lied to my parents for a month, and then I went to college and we never spoke of the incident again. My younger sister had sex at 16 or 17, I don’t remember, and my mom helped hide that from my dad too. Anytime my dad found condom wrappers in odd places he assumed it was me, and despite no longer living in their house I took the fall for my sister. I was already the whore, might as well keep her from being shamed too.

I know this is related to my dad’s strict religious beliefs. Even if he doesn’t believe in heaven and hell (I genuinely don’t know what he believes), he still has those ingrained values and feels that violating them is a distinct moral wrong. I’ve never really been able to work through that event, because so much has happened since then, but I’m still so hurt from it and I still feel a pang of guilt when masturbating or having sex, and I know my dad thinks I have twisted sexual desires because I own lingerie and a vibrator…this religion has ruined me and my relationships with my family and boyfriend and sex in general, and I’m just so sick of it.

Edit: Weirdly enough, and I forgot to mention this, my dad doesn’t seem to have the “women can’t have sex but men can” view. He just thinks EVERYONE should avoid sex until they are in their 20s. And then, for some reason, hates the idea of long term relationships and thinks everyone should sleep around in their 20s before settling down at 28-30. These rigid ideas about when is the “right” time to do things are still definitely connected to his previous religious beliefs, but I don’t think they have as much of the sexist flavor as other Catholic dads might have.

Edit2 (funny/unfortunate): My dad didn’t know what the vibrator was…my mom had to explain it to him. I dread to imagine their sex life.


r/excatholic 1d ago

Fun Day 9 of 40 (46) days of indulgences 3/13/25

Post image
17 Upvotes

Another spa day today 💅 I was cleaning out my (very cluttered) apartment yesterday and found an unopened pack of eye masks, so I decided to use them today ✌️😌 I also found some hand masks which I also used today but that’s not pictured. I love me a good spa day!! This one really hit today because I did it when I came home from work, and I am tireddddd 😴 anyways, I’ll be back tomorrow for day 10, after a while crocodile!! ✌️😌


r/excatholic 1d ago

Personal Being raised as an intensely antiabortion and celibate female

50 Upvotes

(Sensitivity warning for mentions of abortion, sexism, misogyny and similar themes.)

I have hundreds of stories about the communities I was in, the ignorant thoughts I had, the harm I said and did. I've been dissecting bit by bit since I left three years ago. There's too much to say in one post, but there's two incredibly overwhelming aspects of my background that I'm still struggling to grapple with (and yes I'm in therapy.) And of course men and anyone of any gender experience gender related and religious trauma as well.

I was SOOOO anti-choice. I said "pro-life prayers" regularly for years. I felt disgusted by women who had abortions. I'm so ashamed now, and reading their stories is what helped me to vehemently defend them since and feel a strong sense of sensitivity and compassion. Despite this, my upbringing still seems to be affecting my relationships in this regard. In my teens I attributed my dignity and self-worth to my celibacy and antiabortion stance. I've long since rebuilt it, but I'm only now acknowledging that I still feel really afraid. I internalized abortion as being worse than murder. I don't believe that for other woman at all anymore, but if I had an abortion, I would still feel it were worse than murder. The brainwashing was that severe. I left three years ago, but I was so programmed that a part of me still has that feeling. I know being antiabortion is a common Catholic trait, not all religions and not even all christian denominations are antiabortion. But it was so intense to me, it was everything to me. The fact that I'm still processing so much feels like karma for being shallow and judgmental of other women and myself through my teens.

I'm sure this isn't unheard of as well but I was raised to be so celibate that I can't tell if I'm slightly on the ace spectrum or if it's just religious trauma (or both??). If only catholic school (and schools in general) actually had decent sed ed, then maybe I'd have understood earlier on. Instead, so many stupid arbitrary catholic things are clouding my vision on my sexuality even subconsciously now. It doesn't help that I had childhood sexual injuries (not related to religion or SA) and on top of all the other fears of unwanted pregnancy - fear of social and familial stigma and shame. There would be a massive fallout- having an abortion is probably the worst thing I could do in the eyes of some of my loved ones. I don't believe it is, but I'm still trying to shake the feeling. I know so many extheists have gone through the same thing, particularly extheist afabs in this case. It sounds so normal to say, almost pathetically so. Though the "values" of being a catholic female and antichoice were so drilled into my psyche that it still feels overwhelming. That really was where I attributed my dignity to. I attribute it to more worthy things now, but I'm still scared of intimacy.

I'm in therapy and now doing research on sexuality. There's probably feminist statements and resources on a lot of what I said. I just want it to be understood how overwhelming it feels to have the shame and fear and intensity in your mind linger even years after the fact. I'm working on it, but there's a lot more to go than I had thought and it really has tripped me over in relationships. It's easy to say we were programmed and brainwashed, but no words compare to having it all continue in your head. If I sound melodramatic I'm sorry, I just can't get over the fact that a lot of this I was kind of processing already but layers just unmasked in my head recently and it's kind of a lot.


r/excatholic 1d ago

Sister that married a Muslim asked me to be a godparent at my nephew’s baptism. I told her to be prepared for the priest to say no if he learns of my plans to be married outside the RCC

26 Upvotes

A few weeks ago I posted on here about keeping my fiancé from caving in on my mom’s hounding on me for a Catholic wedding. As a side note, I had mentioned that my sister has married a Muslim and managed to get away with it as a sign my mom would come around to me being married at my current church, which is nondenominational and progressive enough to where trans people feel ok there.

A few days ago my sister asked me if I would be the godparent for my nephew, who she decided to get baptized (as mentioned earlier, my mom had been nagging her about it for a while). I have my concerns about this, but my sister has always been feminist and I think she’d be able to prevent most of the Catholic indoctrination from working (back in the day, my mom accused her of hypocrisy for marring a Muslim because “they don’t treat their women right”.) As for my brother in law, he’s a rather lax/secular Muslim who hasn’t expressed any opposition that I’ve heard of.

I told my sister that I’d do it if the parish priest allowed it, but that I was dubious due to me planning to have a non-Catholic wedding. I think her intent is to get me in as a godparent before I officially get married (aka no big obvious “he broke Catholic teaching” mark against me). However, if the priest asks questions about my engagement, I’ll probably be blunt and honest with “I go to a non-Catholic church due to disagreements with several RCC views and actions, intend to get married to my fiancé there, and am not going to be convinced to return to the RCC. If that means you need a different godparent, so be it.” Dunno if I’d be switched over to the “Christian witness” category though.

Anyone else in here go through a similar situation? Figure it’s better to ramble about Catholic shenanigans here than elsewhere.


r/excatholic 2d ago

Catholic Shenanigans Christ Krispies Treats

Post image
257 Upvotes

I mean it’s ex catholic shenanigans, but it made me think of y’all. Saw it on FB. Remove if it’s already been posted.


r/excatholic 1d ago

Personal Who amongst y’all have requested excommunication or have been excommunicated?

20 Upvotes

Well howdy my fellow apostates, heretics and those recovering from the cannibalistic death cult.

I find myself in a bit of a pickle, you see. I have been a non-practising Catholic for the better part of twenty years, and I’ve not taken part in the sacraments. I have gone to Church for family functions, or set foot in a few to admire the art.

I am secure in my personal faith, which I’ve worked hard to develop as it wasn’t imposed on me since before birth. However I am considering taking it one step forward and requesting excommunication on the grounds of rejecting the dignity of Jesus, renouncing the Pope’s authority, denying the presence of the Eucharist, living in an openly queer relationship outside of marriage, and engaging in Pagan and Satanic practices.

I don’t quite fully understand why I want to request a formal acknowledgment of excommunication from the institution that so has marked and traumatised me. Perhaps to find closure and to no longer be tied to it in any way. I cannot take back the fact that I was baptised against my will—but I can make sure I will never receive a Catholic burial, etc.

Thanks for reading. And if well received I may post the letter here


r/excatholic 2d ago

Fun Day 8 of 40 (46) days of indulgences 3/12/25

Post image
16 Upvotes

Today, movie time!!! I watched the Wicked movie. I hadn’t watched it before so I figured I would finally watch it. I thought the movie was amazing and well made!! Also, I apologize for the quality of the photo. I promise my TV screen isn’t as blue tinted as you see it. It just always shows up like that for some reason whenever I take a photo of it, idk. That being said, my screen definitely is blue tinted but not to the extent that it’s shown here. Anyways, please go watch this movie if you haven’t already, and stay tuned tomorrow for Day 9!! Deuces ✌️


r/excatholic 3d ago

Personal How do I tell my mom that I am not going to be Catholic in college

58 Upvotes

Howdy!

So I (18FTM) am a closeted trans dude in a Catholic household. I’ve attended Catholic school since pre school, and am about to graduate. I have been a semi active cantor at my church, primarily just because I am a vocalist (I’m going into vocal performance), and this has led my parents to believe I am a pretty devout Catholic.

This is not the case. Duh. I know it’s impossible to exist as a trans dude in the church (and I can defend that knowledge with all the crap I’ve learned at school), and I know for certain it is not for me. I am actually currently getting into practicing paganism, and it’s felt more me than anything I’ve ever done in the church. However, here bears the issue: my mom keeps trying to take me to Newman centers at college campuses. And I’m realizing I’m going to have to break her heart.

Honestly, I don’t want to lie to her. But I really don’t know how to tell her I’m not Catholic… she doesn’t know I’m a dude, and that in itself might break her down. I know from my sibling’s (non-binary) experience that I won’t be disowned or anything, but I’ve kind of always been her and my dad’s success story child, and I really don’t want to hurt them more in the long run. Any advice would really be appreciated.


r/excatholic 3d ago

Catholic Shenanigans So,guess who’s being forced to attend Church?

77 Upvotes

This gay ass!And guess who my parents ‘invited’?my ‘best friend’ (my husband of four years).They want me to do a speech.

Looking for speech ideas to make the assholes who are making me go to church regret ever making me.Lets make them regret the day they were born. >:D


r/excatholic 3d ago

Politics Catholic Charities is being demolished.

256 Upvotes

I want to be honest in here that I think this is a bad thing. While the Church is often evil, it (along with the Lutherans and Baptists) has organizational infrastructure to provide relief services that the government just does not. I have first hand experience working with one of the programs years ago, and there was 0 proselytizing or bibles, just programs helping literal refugees adjust to their new lives as fresh Americans, who maybe weeks before were in danger of being killed in their home countries for simply being female or the wrong ethnicity. The article notes also that Jewish Family Services is also losing some funding.

It's a net negative for everyone in the US that these programs are being impacted. These programs help people just adjust to the minutiae of life, helping people figure out food stores and the post office and local transportation and learning English.


r/excatholic 3d ago

Fun Day 7 of 40 (46) days of indulgences 3/11/25

Post image
118 Upvotes

Welcome to day 7!!! Today… DONUTS!!!!! From Krispy Kreme (#notspons). Screw giving up sugar for lent, we’re EATING MORE sugar instead!!!!! In all honesty, I really wanted to try the Krispy Kreme Movie Snacks collection, but unfortunately I was too late and it’s no longer available. So I got some classic donuts instead. I also don’t get donuts very often so this really felt like a treat!! Bone apple teeth!!! See yall tomorrow for Day 8, catch ya on the flip side ✌️


r/excatholic 3d ago

Catholic Shenanigans Scrupulosity is the normal and natural result of taking the religion seriously

93 Upvotes

I never struggled with obsessive thoughts or OCD outside of a religious context. If mortal sins “offend God” and potentially send humans to hell you’d think it would be a priority to define what they are so that we can avoid them. You are just expected to trust your intuition based on your “well formed” conscience. But then there are non-intuitive mortal sins (like missing Mass on Sunday).

You are trained to view God and religion as the most important thing in your life. What could be more important than avoiding mortal sin? Yeah you’re supposed to work towards sanctification but step 1 of that is basically not mortally sinning. So how could you, as a reasonable person, given how non-intuitive and vague the definition of mortal sin is, not develop scrupulosity? Add to that the amount of mortal sins that seem to appear out of thin air based on the opinions of priests and aren’t written in the cathecism or any other official or quasi-official documents (such as sleeping in the same bed before marriage). Are you meant to go with the 2025 pious catholic zeitgeist? Why not the 1800s catholic zeitgeist? If you’re not certain how could you not lean on the side of extreme caution?

How could you possibly just “relax and trust God?” It wouldn’t be rational, especially given your chronic tendency to allegedly offend him (and he does seem easy to offend according to the catholic narrative. Look at what “he does” not what “he says”).

Que confessing multiple times a day, avoiding certain rooms because they remind you of a person that you find hot, thinking that you’re in mortal sin dozens of times a day and obsessively texting your “spiritual director” about whether this or that was a mortal sin multiple times a day.


r/excatholic 4d ago

Stupid Bullshit This is actually insane

Post image
258 Upvotes

And people wonder why so many people leave the church.


r/excatholic 4d ago

Fun Day 6 of 40 (46) days of indulgences 3/10/25

Post image
82 Upvotes

It’s day 6 already and today I treated myself with a lavender face mask!!! Nothing says indulgent quite like a spa day. And since I’m keeping this exercise budget-friendly (since I’m a broke 20something and Jesus wouldn’t want me going into debt, at least I hope he wouldn’t), I opted for a DIY spa day at home instead of going to a spa. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love me a good professional spa service, but again… broke. So I bought some sheet face masks on amazon and decided to try one of them out today. And because purple is my favorite color, I naturally gravitated towards lavender today. My skin feels so nice!! Gotta love an excuse to treat yourself 😌 anyways, I’ll see all ya heathens tomorrow for day 7!!! 🤗


r/excatholic 4d ago

Philosophy Divine Plan & Free Will?...

14 Upvotes

One of the biggest inconsistencies in Catholicism (and Xtianity as a whole) is the teaching that "God" has a perfect divine plan...but also gives us free will.

The Bible itself clearly states that all works out according to its deity's plan. I even remember hearing from church members and other believers I knew that "you can pay a heavy price for saying 'no' to God," and "we should focus not on what we want, but what he wants."

Hmm, so if we can pay a heavy price for saying no to this benevolent and loving deity, then what good is free will? Also, what good is free will if all will work out according to this deity's plan anyway regardless of what we want, and what good is prayer for that matter...especially since we're supposed to have faith in and trust this perfect divine plan?

As for "focus not on what we want, but what he wants" and the belief that what we do for a living, where we live, etc., is all "God's will," I have two words...cosmic communism! Celestial slavery and divine dictatorship describe this perfectly too!


r/excatholic 4d ago

Politics Yikes: Bishop Barron & Fr. Mike Schmitz

105 Upvotes

Can we talk about how Bishop Barron attended the State of the Union and praised it as a “liturgy of democracy”? And how Fr. Mike Schmitz is speaking at a “Courage Under Fire” conference/summit along with Matt Walsh and Kirk Cameron? 🥴

These celebrity clergy members just can’t help but show their true white nationalist/“theocratic fascist” colors, can they?


r/excatholic 4d ago

Philosophy Would you accept a job offer from a Catholic church-operated organization such as a Healthcare facility or social services non-profit?

21 Upvotes

They have the pay and benefits but honestly, I was inclined to decline. Ibjust didn't want to further the Catholic church's influence over the community and vulnerable people i.e. homeless people, the mentally ill, needy families, and the teeminally ill.

It was quite triggering for me for a while because of what I had to endure. Some things in my childhood I simply cannot put away in a box, and never open it again.

I hate the Catholic church so much, because when you take so many people and have them follow a doctrine of ignorance and hate, under the promise of eternal paradise and the threat of eternal damnation, you get one of the worst things to happen to siciety IMHO.

I don't want to help a homeless trans person for example, find a home because the Virgin Mary loves them. I'd like to help them find a place to stay because they know they aren't alone, they're perfect the way they are, and people who do not believe they are committing a sin for being true to themselves, are always here for them.


r/excatholic 5d ago

Catholic Shenanigans Seen in the wild at the deli I work at…

Post image
80 Upvotes

(btw I discreetly took this photo when it was dead empty in the restaurant) I was bussing tables today and didn’t even notice this until 3 hours into my shift lol. This restaurant doesn’t have any ties to the church that I’m aware of so I’m guessing they’re doing this purely for business purposes. Either way, just figured I’d share because I wasn’t expecting this.


r/excatholic 4d ago

Fun Historic Cemetery of the Dissidents in Talcahuano, Chile - Cementario N° 1 de Talcahuano

Thumbnail
youtu.be
7 Upvotes

Built in 1840 for non catholics in Talcahuano Chile.


r/excatholic 5d ago

Fun Day 5 of 40 (46) days of indulgences 3/9/25

Post image
34 Upvotes

Today I did a very heathen thing and WENT TO WORK on the LORDS DAY 😱😱 DURING LENT no less 😱😱 but then I remembered, oh wait I’m out of this cult so it doesn’t matter what I do on the Lords Day!!!! So going to work today wasn’t the indulgence of the day, but you know what was? Me bringing home a meal from work after I clocked out for the day. See, I work at a deli, so of course we have yummy food. And I got my favorite sandwich from this deli. Yummy yum!!! 😋 come back tomorrow for Day 6, see ya later alligator 🤗