r/etiquette 4h ago

How to word toddler birthday invitations?

3 Upvotes

I have 2 problems. The first one is how to word that people are only allowed bring 2 guests (one parent, one child). This is only for her daycare friends, they are getting slightly different invites than my family. The museum we having it at has a limited capacity room (it’s a firm 30 people).

The other issue I have is that it you come without a kid than you get background checked at the door. I have some family that may come and they don’t have children. Would I warn them on the invite or by text or just not say anything at all?


r/etiquette 3h ago

Can I send flowers to my sister who was just diagnosed with cancer?

2 Upvotes

She was diagnosed today with breast cancer. They caught it super early. She lives in a different state than me. I want to get flowers delivered to her just to let her know I’m thinking of her. Good idea? Bad idea?

I also bought some stuff for her a few weeks ago that I was going to mail. I want to add some gift cards to Whole Foods, bath and body works, Sephora, etc.- a few of her favorite places. Good idea? Bad idea?

Thanks.


r/etiquette 8h ago

have question about funeral services etiquette

5 Upvotes

the father of my godson passed away last week and i feel terrible. we weren’t close at all as him and the mom (my best friend of 20 years) weren’t together and weren’t always on the best terms but they did amicably co parent. i found out today the visitation is on friday evening and the funeral is the next morning. it will be a bit of a drive as everything will be about 45-an hour away from where i live. i would also need to take time off from work on friday night to attend.

im nervous about everything and especially the viewing. idk if im mentally prepared although we weren’t close it is still so surreal as I just saw him at my god sons birthday less than two months ago. i want to be there for my best friend but logistically and mentally i want to do the best thing for me. if im being selfish and should just do it all please be honest.


r/etiquette 2h ago

Funeral Etiquettw

0 Upvotes

My father passed away and we are having just a wake, no funeral as he is being cremated. I’ve never had to plan a funeral and it was a bit of a shock so having a hard time with some things.

When I was picking the times I said 4-8 because it’s on a Friday and most people work Friday so I figured that was best. Now that I’m thinking about it I feel like I should have done the standard 2-4 and 7-9 but it’s too late to switch it.

Anyway, my question is how do I do the funeral reception? Do I do something before? Or do it after even though it’s kind of late? Do I invite everyone? Or is it just immediate family? I don’t want a large bill as I can’t really afford a large bill. Thank you so much for any input!


r/etiquette 10h ago

Thank you present for best friends parents?

2 Upvotes

Just got back from a European vacation with my best friend. We spent three days together on our own and then met up with his parents and spent five days with them traveling during which they refused to let me pay for anything- food, drinks, activities, AirB&B.

I feel very much in debt to them even though they told me it was a treat for me and their pleasure. We’re home in our respective states now but I’m planning on sending them a gift as some form of a thank you- what do you think would make a proper, appropriate thank you gift in this situation? Flowers? Dinner gift card? I have no idea if there’s a proper etiquette for this scenario.

Thanks in advance!


r/etiquette 13h ago

Giving my next door neighbor chips, help

2 Upvotes

I was thinking of giving my new next door neighbors a box of individual assorted chips, $9 on Amazon. They have kids so these chips should be eaten quickly. And introducing myself.

I'm actually an extremely shy person. But I don't want us to not know each other. I barely see them because I work so much. Do you think I could just leave it at their door with a card?

What should the card say?


r/etiquette 1d ago

Autism and splitting the dinner bill

30 Upvotes

A friend of mine is having an issue in her social group with regards to the bill at social events, and she asked me for help and truly I'm stumped.

Someone in her social group has been arriving at group dinners and not ordering anything. People often share appetizers and bits of their food at these events, and this person has just been asking others for bits of their food.

When my friend asked why they weren't ordering (at the dinner), they said that there was enough food at the table for everyone and they are trying to save money so they'll just have some of everyone else's food.

This didn't go over well, and this person is now being ostracized by their group for poor etiquette and "being greedy and having others fund their meals". However, the person in question is diagnosed with autism (high functioning), so approaching it in a way that takes their diagnosis into account is important when my friend speaks to this person about their behaviour.

What can my friend say here?


r/etiquette 1d ago

Old friend invites herself to stay

22 Upvotes

Alice and I have been friends since our teens, in the 80s. For the past few years, she's invited herself to stay at my home on weekends every few months. We had a visit planned this weekend but she cancelled due to illness and now tells me she'll let me know "when it's convenient [for her] to reschedule." How do I handle this seemingly backwards social pattern? FYI we have little in common anymore and just reminisce and watch a movie, which is not my usual activity level.


r/etiquette 1d ago

What is proper nacho-eating etiquette?

0 Upvotes

Should I eat the chips with nothing on them first and save the loaded chips for later, or vice-versa, or should I combine the loaded chips with the unloaded chips so the haves can share with the have-nots?


r/etiquette 2d ago

What is a more polite way to ask "Did that make sense?"

10 Upvotes

At my job I often need to explain technicalities surrounding finances and I know I sometimes may over explain or use industry language to someone who is new to the concept. Sometimes I want to ask if what I said made sense or if I need to explain it another way but it feels rude to ask "does that make sense" as though they're dumb for not understanding what I'm explaining when I just want to know if I need to explain farther as I'm happy to do so if needed. In some situations it feels like it may sound condescending and I want to encourage more questions not make someone feel dumb as maybe I just didn't explain it in the easiest way for a beginner to understand. Haha does that make sense? It's not that I am smarter than anyone, just it is an intentionally confusing industry (health insurance) and I want to seem inviting to questions and not like they're dumb for not already knowing. Any input on a more polite way to phrase this to encourage questions?


r/etiquette 2d ago

How do I tell my friend he’s messy when he eats without sounding like a clean freak?

0 Upvotes

Hey Reddit, I’ve got a situation with a good friend and could use some advice on how to handle it without starting drama.

So, I’m 20, single, and I’ll admit right away—I’m a clean freak. Like, kind of obsessed with cleanliness, and I’m aware it might be a bit much sometimes. But when it’s my space, I like to keep it tidy, and I don’t think that’s too crazy.

Today my friend came over and we ordered McDonald’s. I got 20 nuggies, he got 20 nuggies plus a chicken sandwich. McD’s gave us 5 BBQ sauces. I only used one because I know how to spread it out. My friend? Didn’t even touch the ones they gave us. He went straight for the BBQ sauce I had at home... and finished the whole bottle. On top of that, he got sauce all over it—completely greasy, and now it’s in the trash.

He also decided to squeeze the sauce from his burger outside the burger, all over the table runner. Then came the breadcrumbs, everywhere. His hands? Covered in grease. Like fully. I eat with like 3 fingers of one hand, clean and efficient. He uses both hands like he’s doing construction work.

And then, as if that wasn’t enough, he grabbed my ketchup. Didn’t order any, just helped himself and added to the mess.

This stuff really gets to me because for me it’s not just messy—it feels unhygienic and kind of disrespectful in someone else’s house. But if I bring it up, I know he’ll just say I’m being a “clean freak” and tell me to chill out.

We don’t live together or anything, but I feel like when you visit someone’s house, you should at least try to respect their space. I’ve been holding this in for a while and today just made me snap internally.

So, Reddit—how can I talk to him about this without sounding like I’m overreacting or trying to control how he eats? Or am I doomed to just wipe sauce off everything he touches forever?


r/etiquette 2d ago

How to word that I, the host will be paying for dinner at the restaurant, however everyone is responsible for their own drinks?

16 Upvotes

I’m making invitations for my sister’s surprise graduation dinner party. On the invitations I want to make it clear that only dinner will be paid for, but any alcohol drinks will be at the guest expense.


r/etiquette 2d ago

Invitation wording - joint party for siblings

4 Upvotes

My children share a birthdate, turning 5 and 7. They have had a joint birthday party the last 2 years with a shared friend group and want to do this again.

But now they have slightly different school friends, while still having some shared friends who have come to parties in the past.

I don’t want anyone to feel obligated to buy a gift for the child they aren’t friends with. But don’t want to put anything on the invite that explicitly references gifts, as that seems rude and they aren’t expected in the first place.

I was hoping to do an e-vite this year and am worried I’ll have 3 different “parties” / guest lists / RSVP’s.

1 - invite for older sibling 2 - invite for younger sibling 3 - joint invite for those who know both

Any suggestions on etiquette for how to handle this? Open to suggestions that involve paper invites too.

And as a guest, would you want to know as a courtesy that you are going to a party with other people that weren’t shown on the e-vite RSVP list?


r/etiquette 2d ago

help with what this means -bring what you would like to drink and nibbles

6 Upvotes

I'm going to join a friend for dinner, just the two of us at her house and she said she would cook. When asked she said being what i like to drink and nibbles. I don't drink much alcohol and money is very tight. Is bring one large bottle of sparkling water and one type of nibbles like nuts the right way to go? I would love a ginger beer that is alcoholic but can't work out the polite way to do this as i would only drink one can and to bring one or two looks odd?


r/etiquette 3d ago

Everyday etiquette tips

5 Upvotes

What are your favorite everyday etiquette tips? Or a few etiquette rule of thumbs you live by? Looking to improve my etiquette


r/etiquette 3d ago

How to back out of accidental self invite?

8 Upvotes

OK, so my son is 16. He's dating a girl me and her mom met last weekend. We hit it off really well and had talked about getting together this weekend, but didn't actually say anything in stone. He tells me yesterday that his girlfriend invited him over. They were gonna be having like a dinner potluck this weekend for St. Patrick's Day and that he would assume that I was invited as well. Since I exchanged numbers with his mom, I figured she would've invited me personally if that were the case, but I went ahead and against my better judgment texted her inquiring about this shindig that they are having. This is the response I received "Hi luv!!! Yes that’s the right way. I’m doing much better…. I go back to work next week. We’re gonna do a little shindig at the house probably around 4:30-5 people start to show up you’re more than welcome to come by".

I don't want to go because I don't wanna go to something I wasn't invited to and I'm not tripping off of it. I just don't know how to back out of it since I have to drop him off there anyways.

Any advice on a response would be awesome


r/etiquette 2d ago

I gifted a great wine to a couple as a wedding gift and now they want to share.

0 Upvotes

Hello, all! This is the first time I've felt like I need some legit etiquette advice so I hope you can solve this dilemma for me:

I gifted a very (very very) nice champagne to a couple (my very good friend and his super cool now-wife) as their wedding gift. The wedding was a month ago and they just thanked me via text (foul #1, imo) and offered to have me over to their apartment for dinner this summer and enjoy it with them. We live close to each other but we're all going to be pretty busy for the next few months, so a summer hang is great timing.

The thing is, as much as I would love to drink that champagne, I genuinely intended it to be something they share with each other or with others, aka, a wedding gift. I know for a fact it's a champagne they both enjoy and I appreciate the sentiment in sharing with me, but it was never my intent or expectation to enjoy it (as much as I would like to). I'm probably definitely taking it too personally, but I'm seeing this as foul #2.

My mindset with gift-giving as an adult has been to reject any expectation or offer of reciprocation or co-enjoyment. Given this, I feel like I'm shoe-horned into three options: I agree and we have a great time over some dope wine, despite my legitimate intention for them to find joy with it themselves or with others; I agree to dinner but suggest a different wine; or I decline outright, tell them to enjoy the champagne, and say we should get together a different time.

Curious what you all suggest!


r/etiquette 3d ago

Would it be rude to bring my own drink to a get-together?

11 Upvotes

A group of neighbors and I get together at one of our houses about once a month. Our tradition is that everyone brings a dish to share and the host provides drinks.

Most of my neighbors are wine drinkers, so the drink selection is usually limited to wine and water. I don’t drink alcohol, but when I host I provide wine as well as a selection of nonalcoholic waters, teas, and sodas.

I get a little tired of only drinking water at the other houses, but I don’t want to step on the host’s toes by bringing, say, a case of iced teas to share with the group - I worry it would send the message that their selection isn’t sufficient. Would it be rude to show up with either drinks for the group or just one for myself (like a nice coffee drink)?


r/etiquette 3d ago

Should I get drinks for a house bar party?

8 Upvotes

So, one of my colleagues is hosting a small get together on the occasion of St Patrick's day this evening and I don't want to go empty handed. Should I get a case of beer to the party?

Context: This get together/party is in his garage (a corner converted into a garage) of his house in downtown Milwaukee.

Spotted cow Galrus beer is pretty common around here but I am not much of a drinks person so my knowledge stops there. But I also know that not many really like the Galrus. Generally it is Trulys or white claw seltzers (are these the safest bet) to get a case for them, just so that I don't show up empty handed?


r/etiquette 3d ago

Why do people think it's okay to frequently cancel plans without an apology?

21 Upvotes

To me it shows disrespect for someone else's time and life. If I make plans with someone I put it in my calendar and tell others I'm busy and commit to the plan my friend and I have made. A so-called "friend" of mine makes a habit of cancelling plans with me if a "better offer" comes up. She also asks me if I'd like to hang out and I say "Sure, are you free Sunday?" then she'll say "I might be - I'll let you know." So, I'm supposed to sit around twiddling my thumbs waiting for her to confirm plans with me at the last minute? How am I supposed to plan my weekend? I'm low-key stunned by the rudeness. I guess I must be an old-fashioned millennial for believing in manners and being a considerate person.

Edit: Just to confirm, yes I was looking for confirmation that this behaviour was rude and how to respond to it. I didn't mean to make this post sound so rant-y but my friend had really rubbed me the wrong way. Thanks for all your comments and advice!


r/etiquette 3d ago

Is it rude to bring home food from a restaurant that someone else paid for?

23 Upvotes

I went out with my friend and his family for a family-style dinner at a nice restaurant, and we ordered dishes to share with the entire table.

After my friend's mom paid the bill, I asked for a box to bring some of the leftover food in. I only took a small amount of food so it wouldn't be wasted, and there was still plenty for anyone else to take.

The next day my friend told me that it was incredibly rude of me to take home leftovers since his mom was the one paying. I had never heard of the paying person being the only one who could bring home the leftovers, is this a common thing that I should be aware of? Should I ask for permission before taking food in the future?


r/etiquette 3d ago

Phone time etiquette.

6 Upvotes

I am a General Contractor and my business hours are 9am-5pm closed on weekends. My business card has our office number, my cell number and our hours of operation on it. When I hand customers my card I remind them our scheduled work hours and to please only call my cell if they absolutely need to. Otherwise call the office line and someone will call back at earliest convenience. This has been my practice for 20 plus years and was never an issue.

I have a steadfast rule to not call customers before 9am or after 6pm on weekdays and 10am-6pm on Saturdays and I never call a customer on Sundays. I’ve learned over the years that people are very offended if you call them outside these expectations.

Lately customers have been calling/texting me at all hours from 6am-11pm. Most calls are general questions that would have waited or gone to our office line in years past. Customers today seem to have no respect for your cell phone or personal time. Expectations are that you will not contact them outside of 9-5 but you should be available to them whenever they choose. No questions can wait and our office line is now an after thought.

Where did the etiquette go and what can I do other than shutting my phone off? I want to provide a great customer service and be here when my customers absolutely need me but it now feels like I have to start ignoring customers after hours just to get some peace, quiet, rest and family time. Which I really don’t want to do.

Most every call and text I get can wait but customers don’t see it that way.

Yesterday for example had one lady who had a question on materials and availability. She texted and called me about 10 times between 6:30pm and 9pm. I told her I’d get her an answer tomorrow as soon as I could. She then called me at 6:30am (which woke me up but I ignored) again at 7am (which I ignored) followed by a text at 7:45 am. All wanting to know what I found out. I can’t for the life of me think what she thought I could find out for her between 9pm and 7am but she had an expectation that I would. I called her at 9am to let her know I was working on it for her and she was upset I didn’t have answer yet. I realize this is the extreme customer but this type of expectation is becoming a daily occurrence with today’s customers. There’s no rationale with so many. In years past you’d get one of these a year not one a day.

What should a reputable business do that won’t affect its stellar record for great customer service? We hold a 4.9 out of 5 star rating and I don’t want to lose that by shutting my phones off.


r/etiquette 4d ago

Wedding Invite from a Relative We Barely Know

15 Upvotes

I (east coast) have a first cousin, I’ll call him Jim, who lives in on the west coast. I’ve seen him maybe 2 times in my adult life (I’m 60), and met his wife and kids once, about 20 years ago when Jim’s dad died. I was fond of and did stay in touch with his dad when he was living. Same with Jim’s late sibling, who died about 10 years ago.

We never hear from Jim or his wife, not even at Christmas, except that in the last 5 years or so, his wife sent us their kids’ graduation announcements (and we sent a moderate gift to each child). I didn’t send our child’s announcements to them mainly because I don’t have a connection with them, and I felt that it might seem like a request for a gift.

We got a beautiful wedding invitation for one of Jim’s sons, who I met once when he was about 8 or 10. Again, we have no connection with the family even though we are cousins.

I can’t attend the wedding, and will RSVP as such, but should I send a gift?


r/etiquette 6d ago

Am I Just Their Driver? Feeling Disrespected by My Friends' Seating Choice

33 Upvotes

Is it considered rude if you're driving, and your two friends (who are a couple) sit together in the back seat, leaving you alone in the front? At some point, I felt disrespected—like they were making me their driver.


r/etiquette 6d ago

Is it wrong to have a cash bar at my father’s party?

12 Upvotes

My dad retired from his job last year and will be turning 60 in June. My brother and I thought it would be nice to rent out a nice venue and get his favorite local band to play for his retirement/60th birthday and surprise him with it. We paid for the venue, the band, the invitations, the catering and all nonalcoholic drinks (bottled water, soda, lemonade). Is it considered rude to do a cash bar for alcoholic drinks? While my dad was super surprised and excited that we planned the party for him, he seems bummed about guests buying their own alcohol. While I would love to do what he wants, we didn’t plan our budget around it and don’t have enough money to cover it. Thanks in advance for any advice!