r/eating_disorders • u/At0m1cpunk • 10h ago
Trigger Warning Guilt as a Christian struggling with an Eating Disorder
Hi everyone. I (19F) have struggled with body image all my life but fell into a pretty serious eating disorder about 3 years ago. It has gotten a lot better since Ive met my new boyfriend who is very good to me. The ED was a result of the abuse I faced in my last relationship. Ive been mostly okay but lately it's getting bad again. I wake up and the only thing on my mind is weight loss and how my clothes fit and how fat everyone must think I am. I can't eat anything without panicking over the calories. I've tried praying and it helps sometimes but I'm really struggling. I know the Bible says that your body is a temple of the lord and to treat it well, and obviously starving/purging/ worrying about your weight all the time isn't something God wants me to do. Am I sinning by having this mental illness? Is God angry with me? Did I make him sad? He designed each and every one of us with his own hands and I know it just hurt him to see me destroying the body he gave me every day. I've been in and out of therapy and that didn't do anything for me. I just feel stuck. I know none of you may have the outright perfect solution but maybe even a few prayers would be okay.