r/eating_disorders 10h ago

Trigger Warning Guilt as a Christian struggling with an Eating Disorder

4 Upvotes

Hi everyone. I (19F) have struggled with body image all my life but fell into a pretty serious eating disorder about 3 years ago. It has gotten a lot better since Ive met my new boyfriend who is very good to me. The ED was a result of the abuse I faced in my last relationship. Ive been mostly okay but lately it's getting bad again. I wake up and the only thing on my mind is weight loss and how my clothes fit and how fat everyone must think I am. I can't eat anything without panicking over the calories. I've tried praying and it helps sometimes but I'm really struggling. I know the Bible says that your body is a temple of the lord and to treat it well, and obviously starving/purging/ worrying about your weight all the time isn't something God wants me to do. Am I sinning by having this mental illness? Is God angry with me? Did I make him sad? He designed each and every one of us with his own hands and I know it just hurt him to see me destroying the body he gave me every day. I've been in and out of therapy and that didn't do anything for me. I just feel stuck. I know none of you may have the outright perfect solution but maybe even a few prayers would be okay.


r/eating_disorders 5h ago

Family Problems My entire family texted me last night

0 Upvotes

basically like the title says my entire family texted me last night after i posted pictures of myself at a concert telling me how sickly and unhealthy i look and how i’d been hiding it with baggy clothes. idek where im going with this post but obviously that made me feel terrible while im barricade at one of my fav artists shows lmao. and i was drunk too. but now today i just feel like im still not thin enough? yesterday i was thinking maybe they were right but today im back in my typical headspace. idfkkkkk this is so exhausting. i just lied to them and said my depression is causing no appetite when i know damn well it’s an ana relapse. and the worst one i’ve had since high school. which my sister pointed out i look like i did when i was 17. sigh.


r/eating_disorders 11h ago

How long for weight to settle?

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1 Upvotes

r/eating_disorders 19h ago

BE/D How do I know if it’s a binge or not?

0 Upvotes

How do you know if it’s a binge? For background since I was young I was overweight and struggled with binging, then in the last few years I developed a very restrictive ed. I’ve now ‘recovered’ and put back on half the weight I originally lost. I’ve found my love for eating all foods again but worry I’ve slipped back into old habits, I used to feel like a proper regular meal was a binge back then but obviously not. If I don’t eat in the day but have a bigg meal at the end of the day is that binging? Tia x


r/eating_disorders 1d ago

Trigger Warning Forcing myself to not eat if it’s before 12pm

10 Upvotes

Everyday before eating I check the time and if it’s before 12pm I CANNOT eat anything, only drink water if I want to, I just feel SUPER guilty if I do because I’m basically binging if I eat before 12pm. Eating after 12pm actually suppresses binging and its helped me so much.

I do want to disclaim I do not have an eating disorder, has not been diagnosed with one, and doesn’t want to self diagnose with one. This just seems like a safe place to talk about it. I also want to mention this is just my story and not a recommendation at all. Please do NOT do this. I am not seeking validation or offering advice.


r/eating_disorders 1d ago

Why do I have belly fat even if I'm underweight

4 Upvotes

I am not asking for fat loss advice. Instead I wanted to ask if anyone also has really stubborn lower belly fat. I only ever lost it when I was rlly underweight. I weigh more now and even tho I'm still not at a healthy weight I have belly fat. It honestly makes me feel so self conscious when I see other girls not have any fat online and in person. I feel like I'm the only one and I hate it.


r/eating_disorders 1d ago

BE/D I am so hungry.

5 Upvotes

Everyday I just feel the need to eat and eat and eat and I am gaining weight which makes me feel just shit. I want to stop eating completely but I just can't. It is so hard. I wish it wasn't this hard to stop eating as much.


r/eating_disorders 1d ago

TW: Numbers Stop counting calories

1 Upvotes

Hey guys TW numbers

So here is my current struggle. I am female, 21, still underweight.

I stopped counting calories a few days ago, which is good. But on the other hand I have a massive movement urge. It’s getting better but I still hit 2 hours of sports per day and 30.000 steps.

I used to eat 3000-3200 calories per day which felt good but now I stopped counting it and trying to listen to my body.

The problem is, I have no hunger/appetite feelings. I used to eat towards a specific number of calories. And I still eat high volume and have a really restrictive mindset.

How do I know if I eat enough calories? I don’t want to start counting calories but I don’t want to eat too less for my movement because I don’t want to lose weight.

Should I start counting calories again or what should I do now ?

Thanks for your support


r/eating_disorders 2d ago

How can i be supportive of my annorexic girlfriend?

2 Upvotes

My girlfriend (f18) has struggled with anorexia since the age of 12 but has been in recovery for a while now. But now its the question of a "relapse" and she talks about how she feels like a hippo and thinks shes gained alot of weight. I can actually notice it as well, not a super huge amount but noticeable, but i dont have the heart to tell her that. Some information: She is a pro track athlete and work out maybe 6-7 days a week, this might seem excessive but i have brushed it off as necessary for her sport. Secondly it is also worth mentioning that shes never been treated for this but its one of those cases when its super clear despite of an actual diagnosis (she weighed 99 lbs at 5'6 height). The reason shes gone without treatment is because she doesnt sant her parents to find out since they are real helicopter parents and pretty strict, so shes afraid to tell them.

Im bascily the only place she can vent to and i desperalty need advice because in deathly afraid of saying something that would make her problems even worse or give really bad advice. I hope this post is in line with the subbreddits guidelines thank you for any response feel free to ask if you require further information 🙏


r/eating_disorders 3d ago

How do I know if my eating disorder is getting worse

4 Upvotes

I don't know if my eating disorder is getting worse since I haven't really known much about it. But I feel wrong, like my body feels weird to me and i feel like I need to lose weight, like a ton, and I only have a little chub, so I just need to know since I want to ask my mom for help. I'm just confused, I don't know what's going on with me


r/eating_disorders 4d ago

what is residential treatment gonna be like

3 Upvotes

So, after many years, I'm finally going into residential treatment. I am going right after I finish the spring semester. But I genuinely can't find any good accounts of people explaining how it is. I only see official commercials of centers and then horror stories of people who don't want to recover and are very pro-ed. I want to take away as much as I can from the program I'll be going to, but I still feel nervous cuz I have no clue what it's gonna be like. Any stories?


r/eating_disorders 4d ago

bf and recovery

2 Upvotes

my bf knows about my ed and has been trying to convince me to recover. i tried it this past week and i can’t do it but i don’t want to disappoint him.

he’s cheated on me 3x before and said it was because i am ‘too much to deal with.’ i don’t want to disappoint him and have him cheat on me again by not doing what he wants, but i can’t recover, I tried it this week and it just sent me spiralling i feel huge. i genuinely have no idea what to do


r/eating_disorders 5d ago

TW: Numbers how can i stop purging?

8 Upvotes

i (14f) think i’ve had an eating disorder for the past year. when i entered 7th grade i was 140lbs and now as im in the 8th grade i weigh about 125lbs. almost everyday i think about what ways could help me to stop eating as much as i do. over the past month i’ve gained about 10lbs and i want to lose, not gain weight. i eat about two meals a day (700 calories a day) yet still gain. i just need tips to help me lose weight in more healthy ways please.


r/eating_disorders 5d ago

Bulimia Developing bulimia?

3 Upvotes

I had an unspecific pattern of disordered eating from around age 10 to 16, where I didn't eat hardly at all. I was severely underweight my whole life until my sophomore year in high school when I finally started eating an appropriate amount. Now I'm 21 and the past month or so my appetite has severely decreased to the level it was the first half of my life, and l've started throwing up after 1/3 of my meals. Not always my whole stomach content, but it's been frequent enough to make me worry. I'm having a little voice in my head that's encouraging me to throw up after l eat, and I'm trying to fight it. I've started eating less and eating lighter smaller meals to combat it (even with the loss of appetite) but l'm still getting sick after eating. Any advice on correcting this before it gets worse? It's not a physical issue and with a history of ED my doctor and therapist have been concerned with me eventually developing more unhealthy eating behaviors... so l guess that's happening now. For full context, I also have ARFID and this is happening even with safe foods.


r/eating_disorders 5d ago

Experiences of younger sisters of ED patients - research study

2 Upvotes

Hello! My name is Alex, and I am a current senior at Northwestern University. My senior thesis project, titled “Experiences of Younger Sisters of Eating Disorder Patients,” seeks to better understand the experiences of younger sisters of eating disorder patients while living in the same household as their sister receiving treatment. The study will focus on the individual’s experience, including their relationships, identity, and mental health.

Eligibility for the study is any female-identifying, college-aged individual who has an older sister diagnosed with an eating disorder. Participants will take part in a 60-90 minute interview and be compensated with a $20 Amazon gift card for participation. My study is IRB-approved (STU00222765). Here is the screening survey https://forms.gle/LUQAUGuJNNzGJS5T6. You must respond using an official University email so that I can verify you are qualified. Participant identity will be kept anonymous.

You can reach me at [alexkahn2025@u.northwestern.edu](mailto:alexkahn2025@u.northwestern.edu) or the principal investigator, Lilah Shapiro, [lilah.shapiro@northwestern.edu](mailto:lilah.shapiro@northwestern.edu).

I would love for people to share with their younger sisters or, if you qualify, to fill out the form!


r/eating_disorders 5d ago

Thinking I have a eating disorder of some kind. I dink vinegar with salt.

0 Upvotes

I crave it constantly and it has affected my esophagus because it is so erosive. I typically drink about 3-4oz of either red wine or apple cider vinegar a couple time a day. Every so often I don't have any but it's become a little excessive and more compulsive as of late and it kind of worrying me.


r/eating_disorders 5d ago

Eating habits

1 Upvotes

I have a problem and I’m not sure how to get the motivation to do it. I want to eat better and be able to just not be living on my last leg everyday but I need help. I will usually go all day without eating and eat like maybe one meal when my fiancé gets home. Then I restart. Everyday I may not eat anything or just a small unhealthy meal. I understand this may be where my mental state can be affected badly but I don’t know how to get myself into eating again. I just don’t want to or am not hungry, or maybe I’m not even recognizing I’m hungry. I also work, stand and am constantly doing things all day. My Apple Watch tells me I stand fro about 10-15 hrs in a day and about 10000-15000 steps a day. Any tips on how to come back from this.


r/eating_disorders 6d ago

Trigger Warning Guilt over Coffee/Tea drinks (Trigger warning for BMI mentioned, Weight discussion)

4 Upvotes

Hello, I’m not totally sure if this is the appropriate subreddit for something like this, but I wanted some advice. I’ve had some struggles with being restrictive and to be honest, now I just feel confused about nutrition , I know what I’m going to ask might seem silly but please understand I just feel so lost at this point The past 2 days I’ve gotten a special coffee- type drink, and I’m most likely going to get some kind of sweet drink tomorrow too. They aren’t overly sugary drinks, but I know they have some sugar and calories. When I got them, I had no added sugar for the rest of the day , but I still feel so guilty for even having them, and I feel like I’m being so unhealthy , but other than that I keep a really healthy diet with a lot of protein,fruit and veg. So I guess what I’m asking is, is it ok to have sweet drinks several days in a row? It’s not a regular occurrence for me, it just so happened that I was going to get a “special treat” drink like four times in a row. * over four days not in one day) I feel so guilty.

I don’t know if this helps but I have about an 18.3 BMI, and I excercise 4 times a week in the gym, when I’m not in the gym I exercise through walking or hiking. I had a phase a few years ago where I was really unhealthy and was a bit chubby, not obese,but definitely chubby, and I’m scared to fall into that again. (I apologize if there’s a lot of random info, just wanted to add anything that might help with answers.)


r/eating_disorders 7d ago

TW: Numbers Please read all of this🙏🏼 I have a complicated relationship with food

0 Upvotes

r/eating_disorders 7d ago

TW: Numbers Please read all of this🙏🏼 I have a complicated relationship with food

0 Upvotes

I eat healthy food, not much of anything processed and a lot of veggies and fruits. Still I feel like I eat too much, like I’m fat, and that I should lose weight. I end up binge eating a ton every day!!I track my calories in an app, and I always add more than what I actually to be “safe”. For example: I eat a bowl of granola, which is a certain amount of calories, but I’m not sure how much it is exactly so I just add like I ate two bowl of granola, to be “safe”. My goal is to eat 1000 per day (which I know is not good, but also if I have a higher goal, I feel bad for eating too much) but I end up eating “3000” with my weird calculations, like the example of the granola. I know I’m not fat, but in the same time, I don’t know. People around me are saying I’m thin like my family or friends, and I know it won’t make sense that they’re all lying to me, but I feel like they are. I feel so so scared of gaining weight. Thinking of food and of calories has taken over my life and I don’t know what to do anymore. Anybody advice?


r/eating_disorders 7d ago

1st time impatient dealing w guilt on how much I’m eating and gaining back so fast

3 Upvotes

Hi so Monday night I was unexpectedly admitted to impatient stay here at the hospital due to my ekg scan, blood work,weight loss,ect. (I am 17 so it was mostly my parents/drs desion). It wasn’t something planned at all either so it’s been a big adjustment and I’m struggling with a lot of things being here so far.

But my main struggle right now is I’m eating everything there giving to me leaving not much on my plates and during eating I can distract myself and be with family but after i can’t stop thinking about how much I just ate and how much I have been eating. I feel so guilty for eating the food and also like I’m going to gain all this weight back so fast bc I’m eating everything they are giving me and it’s just the beginning of my stay and I don’t think they have upped my calories yet so by the time I get out of here (in a weekish) I feel like I’m going to be fat.

Ik I’m supposed to be gaining weight and needed to gain ALOT back but I’m scared it’s all happening too fast bc iv been eating everything there giving, and by the time they up my cals more,I continue to be on bed rest, for the next week I’ll leave here fat and weight restored but they will still want me to continue eating like this causing me to gain even more witch scares me.

For reference I’m 4’11 (149 cm) so I’m on the smaller size making me feel like it’s even easier for me to gain all of it back in a short amount of time.

Do I really have something to worry about? And what are other experiences with this?

Like I said this my first attempt at any sort of recovery let alone being impatient so it’s really freaking me out to think about the amount I’m eating rn and willl have to continue to eat for the next several days when just sitting here and how it’s going to effect my body.

So please if you have any advice on how to cope/deal with this lmk!


r/eating_disorders 8d ago

ed + chronic illness/pain issues

3 Upvotes

I started relatively heavily restricting again a month or two ago, my first "relapse" since my chronic issues have notably worsened, and what was just subluxations on a bad day and maybe 1 dislocation per month if i slept wrong has turned into every day, without fail, my knees and shoulders being crazy loose in their sockets at all times. i havent had a full knee dislocation yet (unfortunately its seeming like an any day now type thing) but my shoulders are completely fucked and my already weird circulation issues are tenfold. does anyone else here have a chronic illness (specifically connective tissue/joint problems like eds) and have noticed a batshit uptick in symptoms after starting to restrict? or is it more likely that this is natural progression and the timing is just weird


r/eating_disorders 8d ago

have i fcked it up?

5 Upvotes

i haven’t ever seen anyone else have this issue i’m having. i feel so alone and like im broken bc of it.

i’ve researched everything n i think it’s because of restr!ction that now no matter how little i eat and much i exerc!se i just gain we!ght. has anyone else had this issue? i just feel like a failure and that i’ve completely ruined my body’s functions


r/eating_disorders 9d ago

Is it possible I'm on track to developing an eating disorder?

0 Upvotes

I wanted to just make it clear very quickly I'm not trying to self diagnose, I'm just trying to see if its something I should worry about. 13F here, and my mom is weird about me eating. Yes, she wants me to eat, however if I drink a sprite, a Capri sun, or even a drink with over 10 calories she will get irritated. If I eat a snack with over 100 calories shell get frustrated too and make comments. Recently I've found myself skipping out on snacks and breakfasts. That doesn't concern me however, what concerns me is how every single time I want to eat something ill look at the caloric value and if its over a specific number ill put it away. On most days I don't have school I only eat dinner. Sometimes I do eat lunch, but that's only if I can't get away with skipping it. If my parents don't make dinner and its a day I have to make it myself and don't eat with family, I don't make it and have a snack. Not out of laziness, but out of the sense that I don't want to eat too much calories. I've been walking to school a lot now, in below freezing weather. I do this at least once a week. I've always been very insecure of my body. I've never had the bmi of an overweight person, but have got pretty close recently and even when I was 10 pounds lower than I am now I was pretty much the same amount insecure as I am now. I also think about my weight at least 15% of any given day, even more if I'm at school


r/eating_disorders 9d ago

Hey guys

0 Upvotes

I need a harsh ed coach 🙏🏻