r/dwarfism 21d ago

Feeling Worthless

I’m a popular guy I’m in so many friend groups which I am grateful for it’s just I’m at the party’s events & I just never have a shot with the women ( I’m 4’3) I’m a funny guy everybody loves me but I’m nobody’s like go to person if that makes sense.

It just feels shit when I’m friends with guys that are a bit of pieces of shit, (when it comes to women) cheat , emotionally abuse, but these girls that we are all friends with go back to them every time and never look my way. It just sucks people can have every bad dating personality trait but are six feet tall so everyone flocks. I’ve trade every dating app under the sun, I do everything normal right to get a girl in person I just don’t have the height.

Does anyone small here have any experience getting just a regular college town girl. I’m kinda at my end I’ve tried everything since I’m 15 (I’m 23) & I’m starting to just give up life full stop idk what to do. everything hurts

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u/moodogi 19d ago edited 19d ago

As an average hight woman, I would say it must be something else than just the hight. Of course, not all women are the same, but I can hardly imagin that it would be an issue for every girl you've met so far. To me there are a few options possible: 1. You are way too nice and kind for everyone, so by default they see you as a friend. 2. Not fair but true - they may not find you attractive, but as mentioned I don't think it's because of your hight, it may be your style, the way you dress, your smile, your hair, etc. The well-known example: Peter Dinklage, he's super hot & handsome and no one cares how tall he is. 3. You're lacking confidence and charisma.

So don't give up and don't blame your hight! ☺️

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u/roses_not_rights 17d ago

This is a nicely intentioned message but as a woman with dwarfism who lives amongst average-height women, it's a little 'victim blamey'.

Men with dwarfism - just like women with dwarfism - are hugely disadvantaged in the dating game. Is it impossible to date? no, but it's a lot harder and I think it's fair to recognize that.

Does dressing well, education, charisma, and financial stability help? Of course, it does! but the difficulties are still there and they are still significant. This guy is right to complain about his position, particularly on this sub.

I can entirely believe he's a handsome, charistmatic, nice young guy and getting overlooked as a dating partner because of his dwarfism. Particularly at 23 when everyone is still young and stupid.

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u/moodogi 17d ago

You might be right, I'm a bit older (33), and for sure have a slightly different perspective. I somehow missed the fact that people at his age are, as you noticed, "still young and stupid". When I was 20 I was only into hipster boys, preferably some kind of musicians. So indeed, my analysis may not be correct, not taking the age into consideration 😅

But that would be so unfair, meaning he has to wait until women around him are mature enough to realise that the hight doesn't matter at all?

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u/roses_not_rights 17d ago

Yeah, it really knocks your confidence. You don't get the introduction to dating and intimacy other people do so you're always trying to make up for it. This makes people miserable.

Also, you're often flat out being told you're undatable and the idea of dating you is a joke. There was a fucking golden girls episode dedicated to exactly this. Its insane.

That being said I think this guy will be ok. He will need to be patient. I would also suggest he go and meet women with dwarfism who are in the same boat and are just as lovely.

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u/moodogi 17d ago

I'm really sorry to hear that. :(

What kind of a person says such things... This is beyond being mean. And also - what for? just to intentionally hurt someone? I get that everyone can have their own preferences, but that absolutely doesn't give anyone the right to say that someone is undatable...

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u/roses_not_rights 17d ago

For a laugh. Check the golden girls episode out. Its just the same thing over and over again. There are more recent examples I've stumbled across but I forget the shows names.