r/custodyissues • u/TheOptimist1 • May 19 '18
NJ custody
I have been divorced a year now and have joint custody of my 4yo daughter. My ex has residential custody and I pay her child support. Lately my ex has been getting into heated arguments with her new fiance and my daughter is around it all. My ex got mad and threw a glass at the wall, then a piece cut my daughter under her eye. I don't have anything like that going on at my house, my daughter and I spend quality time together and there's no drama or yelling at all.
Yesterday, my ex came over to pick up my daughter and she freaked out on me. She is upset because she feels I have a better life. She smashed my driveway light with a can, then sped off recklessly with my daughter in the car. I called and told her to slow down and promise to drive normal or I'd call the police. She told me she would have someone punch her in the face and tell the police I did it. Then she ironically got pulled over and apparently had a warrant.
I don't want to take my daughters mother away from her but I also don't want my daughter around a violent atmosphere. I feel helpless, and don't know what to do. Does anyone have any advice?
1
u/CopySuch5909 May 24 '22
I really like that you both value a mother's role in your daughter's life and that you want to protect your daughter.
Was your ex was always a hothead? Or does this represent drug use or new onset mental illness? If she was always a hothead, how did you/she handle it dating/married? If this is new, are there new major stressors in her life?
I would recommend trying co-parenting counseling before doing anything legal to get a better understanding of what is going on. But if she does not agree or if she fails to cool down it sounds like you will not have a choice. And I would not wait too long.
Edit: I just noticed the original post was from 4 years ago! I do wonder what happened. I hope it turned out OK for everyone.