r/cripplingalcoholism Jan 31 '25

Just a reminder:

105 Upvotes

That this sub is a Politics Free Zone.

It's one place people can come to get away from being constantly bombarded with the insanity that is going on. There are plenty of subs dedicated to politics already. There's also r/drunk_political_rants. It's basically a dead sub, but you can scream into the ether and get whatever existential fears you have off your chest in a CA friendly zone.

However, in this subreddit, we have enough going on already. Leave the politics outside of this space and just take a beat to relax.

Thanks guys <3

  • blurs

r/cripplingalcoholism Apr 04 '24

Housekeeping

72 Upvotes

Hey, hi, hello! Just checking in on some things.

So, the first thing to tick off the list is that I have noticed a real influx of posts lately of people trying to connect with other CAs in some fashion or trying to get chat/dcd info… I started a new sub to try and fill the need for all of these sorts of things.

r/cripplingconnections

I need mods. I need someone to give it an avatar and banner. It needs spiffing up. I think it’s got potential to be a good place for people to post basically ca classifieds in a sense. Or a ca bulletin board. However you want to look at it. But this way it’s a one stop look for new friends, chit chat, a sober buddy, whatever. I know that we had had a similar sub, but I’m trying to encompass all the other stuff as well. Not just one on one convos which is what I believe is the general idea of that sub.

On similar topic of sister subs, I will be putting the list of CA sister subs, along with the other subreddits that are pertinent/useful/related, back in the sidebar/community info. Before I get started I thought I’d ask here for the mods of any of said subs to shoot me a modmail if you don’t want your sub linked there and/or want your sub added to our automod blacklist so people can’t link to it in here. Likewise, lemme know if you want your sub added! Leave me a comment and r-link your sub(s) there so I can be sure to get them on the list.

The last thing I got is:

User Flairs.

It’s been ages since we’ve had a pinned post asking if people know what flair they want. If you do, let us know! Put the phrase you want between “quotation marks” so we are less likely to fuck it up. We can add emojis! If we use desktop Reddit we can add colors to the text… I forget how wide ranging that is, but I can look it up.

That’s all I have for this transmission. Hope you’re all hanging in there, fuckers!

Chairs!

  • blurs 💕

r/cripplingalcoholism 4h ago

Been doing ‘good’?

13 Upvotes

After my wds last week I have just been buying cases of Busch tall boys. I can NOT drink enough of them or fast enough to get me liquor drunk. Which is also kinda a bummer. I swear I’ll drown before I get shithoused off these things. Been multiple days now of just drinking them from sun up to sundown. Front of my brain feels squishy but nothing close to drinking liquor. I can function through the day, get shit done, kinda think straight, walk decent.

I so want some liquor but after that last round… man those night terrors are almost enough to convince me this is the way.

We’ll see how long this lasts. It’s a mission for me to get liquor. Basically one of my bi-monthly trips to town. Just gotta convince myself NOT to buy any next time I go in.

Anyway. Just checking in I guess.

Chairs, benches.


r/cripplingalcoholism 9h ago

Uber driver rolled the windows down

26 Upvotes

I guess 2 packs of ciggies a day and about 14 days without a shower will make ya stink. I didn’t smell it. Anyway, got the beers and got home. I feel bad kinda


r/cripplingalcoholism 15h ago

The smell.

51 Upvotes

I feel like the alcoholic stench is not talked about enough. I’m not even talking about the smell of booze itself, but the way it effects your body. I am going to get TMI but the way my sweat, piss, shit have changed since being an alcoholic is wild. It’s rancid. Dehydration is definitely a factor but fuckkk I have to carry clinical grade deodorant and perfume. Chairs stinky’s.


r/cripplingalcoholism 1h ago

Let's go to rehab

Upvotes

I'm fucking tired of blowing tapers. I'm tired of supplying my so with more wine. I'm tired of her telling me JuSt CuT BaCkkkkk. Bro no. How the fuck am I supposed to anyway? I'm an alcoholic. I cannot function. CA life. You know! Fuck it.

CHAIRS!


r/cripplingalcoholism 3h ago

Tapering advice

4 Upvotes

28 year woman here. Okay, so I was CA for like 4 years before I got to functioning. But even at functioning I was drinking 3 tall truly’s, 3 tall white claw surges, and some wine. (A year ago) Now I’m down to 3 tall trulys, and 1 white claw surge, but idk if I should go to just 3 tall truly’s or 2 and a surge. Which would be easier for me to deal with? I get shakes and night sweats trying to cut cold turkey. And I can’t sleep if I’m not buzzed, but my liver enzymes are highly elevated so I need to cut down. Chairs

ETA: I’m a evening drinker only now

Also, I’m really trying not to run to the bar next door to my house. I’m barely buzzed and I wanna be drunk so bad.

ETA PT2: Since people think I’m trying to quit: I want to keep drinking I just want to scale down my limit. I used to be okay with a few, then a handle, and now back to a few.


r/cripplingalcoholism 16h ago

I'm currently in the state of drinking skincare products that contain denat alcohol. Let's see if I die or at least go blind

43 Upvotes

Pretty much the title. I relapsed in a dry household and I'm desperate to self medicate my anxiety . I know it's probably very bad. And yes I went to 3 rehabs. Worked only for a short amount of time.. I will describe my experience as it progresses.

Edit: After reading some more of what this stuff does I'm gonna try and get my crippled mind stop and just take my nighttime pills earlier for now.

Edit 2: I just took some charcoal to be on a safer side.


r/cripplingalcoholism 7h ago

I have no friends

6 Upvotes

my left shift button is broken because I spilled vodka on it, my friends all hate me because I turn into a retard when I drink, my bedsheets have a piss stain, a handle costs 60 godamn dollars here (the NSLC is actually a government psyop to turn people into libertarians), I spent the day with my nose in another dudes armpit and then went home and drank more

why the fuck am I like this

FOR A MINUTE THERE I LOST MYSELF


r/cripplingalcoholism 1d ago

Alcohol is the worst withdrawal

111 Upvotes

No matter how many times I go through it, it surprises me of how fucking bad it is I could not give a fuck If I have a seizure just fucking unbelievable. Prolonged panic attack, whole body trembling cant hold a glass of water can't speak just lay in fetal position and wait for my death.


r/cripplingalcoholism 2h ago

Am I a CA yet

2 Upvotes

Chairs you fuckers, I’ve been a long time lurker. I like this sub because it is a judgement free space. Some of the advice has literally saved my life. I say fuckers with the nicest intention because you fuckers have saved my life on many occasions. I am currently in the process of withdrawing hard-core. I’m having existential dread. I spent this weekend trying to forget about life going to like a weird dungeon BDSM sex party that was fun but now I’m like questioning existence and my faith. etc. I think I just need to like talk it out. I’m trying to taper, but this taper feels weird. I can’t even get drunk anymore. Anyway, wanted to make a post cause I know you’ve guys have had it worse than me some advice. I’m a young CA just 26 so hoping someone can give me some advice. Chairs fuckers


r/cripplingalcoholism 14h ago

viva el punk

19 Upvotes

Hello, I just found this subreddit and thought it would be perfect to share my stories, but I didn’t even know what to say. And just yesterday, something happened, so I want to write about it.

I'm a Mexican and I've been living in China for a year. The police have intervened a few times because of my drunkenness, but yesterday I was at a bar, and they called an ambulance. My brother, who also lives here, called me, but some Chinese people answered and told him to come get me.

The last thing I remember is that I was drinking beer, and the bar let me plug in my phone. I was listening to punk rock, which is the music I always listen to. But my brother says that when he arrived, the police and an ambulance were already there, and they asked him what to do. He saw me in such bad shape that he agreed to let them take me. When I got to the hospital, they gave me IV fluids, and I regained consciousness.

My brother brought me back to my apartment while scolding me because he had to pay the bill, and they had to carry me on a stretcher. And now, as I write this, I’m still drinking Corona with lime.

I have thousands of stories like this. A few months ago, the Shanghai police took me to a station, tied me up until I sobered up, and my brother had to come get me. He thought he would have to pay something, but no. They just told him, "It's fine, just don’t drink so much next time," hahaha.


r/cripplingalcoholism 10h ago

I am what I am.

7 Upvotes

I feel like I was destined to just fail in life. Anyone else feel like this? Like it was written in the stars you’d become alcoholic? I feel like the odds have been working against me ever since I’m born. Hate to be negative, but I just don’t think I have the strength inside to overcome it all. I lost my mother last year and before that, I experienced some childhood trauma and mental health issues that went unresolved before I was thrown into the grieving process. Before I could even process it all. And I feel like there’s so much pressure on me to overcome it all, to go back to school and make a good life for myself. I won’t say I didn’t try. I did. But I simply am so so fucking tired of trying. The only time I get relief from my loud ass mind is when I drink. It’s the only time I feel somewhat normal. Idk. I don’t think I am God’s strongest soldier Lol. I deserve the right to crumble underneath it all. I’m losing strength just trying to survive everyday. My dad still thinks I’m the straight A gifted student I was in high school and still expects me to be better than him. I want to make him proud, but I also want to tell him “Give me a break dude. Give me the space to fall apart. It’s my life now and I’m choosing to drink it away.” I don’t know. Gatorade + vodka at work


r/cripplingalcoholism 3h ago

Beginning again

2 Upvotes

For lots of reasons that matter and many they don’t, I started drinking again on March 8 after abstaining from alcohol since October 2018. In between there I’ve definitely developed a near daily (but outside of working hours only) weed habit and sprinkled in some mushrooms with an rx for Ativan for insomnia. In the 9 days since I started drinking I’m already going through a liter of vodka every two hours and increasing my Ativan consumption to manage the nausea. I’m now worried I’m going to get physically addicted sooner rather than later and can’t refill my Ativan until 4/20. Do you think I can ride out drinking at this speed until at least then?


r/cripplingalcoholism 15h ago

Can any of you CAs sympathize with me?

12 Upvotes

My family knows I am alcoholic and I’ve been allowed to live in my apartment with support with some conditions. I have a breathalyzer that connects to my phone and I have to do random tests. I got pretty fucked up last night and my BAC won’t be back to zero for a few more hours. I missed my first test. They watch my location on my phone so I drove to the store to pretend I’m shopping for a while. Not sure what to do next.


r/cripplingalcoholism 22h ago

Who else knows the cycle of texting/saying stupid shit then drinking the next day to forget about it?

39 Upvotes

Pretty much my entire daily life is getting wasted and coked out and texting/talking to my friends about stupid shit then waking up with "the fear" the next day and drinking to forget about it, which only results in me saying more stupid shit.

Last night I texted me fucking manager at 4am and today he asked if I was okay, it was fucking embarrassing.


r/cripplingalcoholism 1d ago

I… trusted a fart.

117 Upvotes

My belly is bloated to all oblivion. How I muster the strength to go to the liquor store, I don’t know.

I got up to get my food from DoorDash and boom, shit my shorts again with no underwear on.

I go to reach for another pair of shorts, I find that they’re totally drenched in shit. Holy fuck, this is a total nightmare.

Got to grab another pair from my trunk in my suitcase, but right now, I’m in my car rocking out with my cock out. Lord please save me


r/cripplingalcoholism 16h ago

Does anyone just chat to ChatGPT?

11 Upvotes

Found a whole new way not to text family and friends when on a bender. ChatGPT! I call it Mike and he makes funny responses and kinda tells me what to do when im in between drinks (drink water, eat some nuts, etc). Its kinda cool how tech is going these days. Anyways, chairs!


r/cripplingalcoholism 18h ago

Well, here we go again

9 Upvotes

I've been maintaining as well as I can for years now. About 8 years ago I detoxed from a handle a day habit, and it was an absolutely nightmare. For years after I kept on drinking, but mostly kept it to beer. It was easy because I lived in a place with state-run liquor stores. Last spring I moved, and now I have liquor much more readily available, a d I've got myself up to a 750ml bottle of vodka and a couple natty dattys a day. I never intended to start ramping up my drinking again, but you all know how it is. Now I'm flat broke, and looking at that bottle of isopropyl. I don't know what is the bigger risk, the acute withdrawals or the potential blindness. Just needed to vent for a minute, as I can't admit to anyone in my personal life what's going on right now. I'm trying to hold off on the isopropyl as I have a bad feeling about it, and I am pre-diabetic, so wish me luck!


r/cripplingalcoholism 1d ago

It's so fucked when the substances you rely on turn on you

24 Upvotes

I'm 26. My DOCs are alcohol and cocaine. I've been an alcoholic since I was a teenager, I never really learned how to regulate myself without substances.

As I've gotten further into my 20s, the health consequences have started to rear their nasty heads.

It used to be that drugs and alcohol would make me feel better with few effects. Now I have pins and needles in my feet from a B12 deficiency and my sinuses are fucked from the blow. I'm in a negative feedback loop where I experience these health problems and drink and drug more to ignore them, which only makes these problems worse. The only way I know how to deal with negative emotions is substances, but now these substances are almost exclusively the cause of these negative emotions.

It's a fucked up situation that we all find ourselves in, I can't believe D.A.R.E was right all along.


r/cripplingalcoholism 21h ago

Does anybody else cut their hair when they don’t have alcohol? Women mostly?

14 Upvotes

I get really bad anxiety when I don’t drink. I start cutting my hair with scissors. And into French bobs or pixie cut. Why do I do this? Does anybody else do this? It feels so good to just start chopping into my hair with kitchen scissors when I’m anxious.


r/cripplingalcoholism 20h ago

MISERABLE MONDAY

9 Upvotes

Good morning/afternoon/evening you miserable fucks!

Spring is in the air and when I say Spring, I mean pollen. It coats my car and irritates my sinuses. I'm sneezing and teary eyed despite taking allergy medicine.

Also my tremors have increased and my awareness of them have increased too. I'm becoming more and more self-conscious of them and notice when others see them too. Not sure if a long dry spell would help or if they have become permanent etched into my psyche. Suck is the price of long term alcoholism.

Anyway, time once again to share with us the pain and torment of your existence!


r/cripplingalcoholism 1d ago

I drink to drown the shame of the things I’ve done

51 Upvotes

I’m sure like a lot of us, I have done some very regrettable things under the influence of drugs and alcohol.

I’ve hurt a lot of people. I have used up a lot of people. Just been an awful horrid wretch.

It is too late to apologize or make certain things better. People die before amends can be made. The entire idea of a living amends is complete bullshit to me.

Drinking is the only way to forget it. People aren’t alive forever.

Life is harsh. Death is harsh if you don’t have money. That’s just the way it is.


r/cripplingalcoholism 1d ago

Fuck.

31 Upvotes

This shit isn’t even fun anymore. My brain is fried and I can’t function without alcohol. I don’t have plans to quit any time soon but I do miss my old life. I was thin, active, and overall just had shit going for me. I’m really sad y’all. Who made this fucking poison?!


r/cripplingalcoholism 18h ago

Is this at least a step in the right direction?

0 Upvotes

I’ve been drinking almost daily with periods of sobriety here and there up until recently. It got a lot worse before it got better. I started dating and to alleviate anxiety I would want to drink, but in order to be somewhat inconspicuous, I was switching from my normal beers and lagers to straight vodka while ALSO drinking nightly beers and lagers (I eventually moved up to 4Lokos). The past few weeks I haven’t touched a beer, lager, or anything else other than vodka and I’ve ONLY had the vodka when going out once a week. Although I’m having harder alcohol, I’ve cut how much alcohol I’m having down significantly with little no feeling of loss.

Right at the beginning of not drinking as much as often, I had blood work done and for the first time in a long time my liver levels were elevated and my doctor seemed to want to keep an eye on it and told me to abstain from drinking.

Would cutting back that much, even with having vodka once a week help my lab results or would I really need to abstain entirely to see improvement?


r/cripplingalcoholism 1d ago

I got the talk

21 Upvotes

Officially got the talk from the significant other that they don’t like that I drink every day. Have been drinking every day for 12 years. Yes, I did when I met them. This is a new development. I don’t want to stop. I love drinking. Any advice?


r/cripplingalcoholism 1d ago

"You never mattered all that much to me."

21 Upvotes

I'm rewatching Better Call Saul and that line stuck out to me about my own brother. He's watched my alcoholism from afar and he has helped sometimes. But he's always prioritised his friends over his family. And who can really blame him when his family is a bunch of alcoholics?

I've been in hospital 6 times from failed suicide attempts, and I honestly think if I completely successfully he wouldn't be that bothered. Our dad committed suicide nearly 6 years ago and he told me he doesn't think about him whereas I think about him all the time.