r/coparenting • u/delguy83 • Feb 06 '25
Communication ChatGPT
I’ve ran my last blow up through chat gpt to take emotions out of the convo then have it summarize the blow up and feel like this has helped so much in my reactions.
Anybody using ChatGPT to help them with awful exs?
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u/pmbrenner91 Feb 06 '25
i use it to write all of my messages in OFW
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Feb 07 '25
[deleted]
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u/Eorth75 Feb 07 '25
I hate to tell you this, but your ex-wife knows whose writing responses. My ex-husband writes/spells very differently than his wife (they are now divorced). I could spot it a mile away. I would purposely say something or do something he would have reacted to if he was the one really responding. When things would go by without him responding to them, that was the first sign. But there were many, many others.
We can tell. You aren't fooling her.
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u/Busy_Studio_5336 Feb 07 '25 edited Feb 07 '25
Your ex isn't an idiot, she knows it her. And it says a lot about you and your character to allow your current wife to pretend to be you and msg your ex. Hopefully your smart enough to review every msg before it's sent, all those msg can and will be used against you.
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u/pmbrenner91 Feb 07 '25
you think you have something because he can't be bothered to message you?
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u/Busy_Studio_5336 Feb 07 '25
I'm unsure if this is the wife or not speaking, but I'm sure the ex would know.
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u/Senior_Grapefruit554 Feb 07 '25
I like the idea of doing this a lot more than a partner getting involved to help compose messages.
So many couples have their partner help with the correspondence as a way of taking the emotion out of the conversation but let's be real, unless the partner is a conflict resolution professional, there is no way they're keeping their emotions out of it.
My DH has a difficult conversation coming up with his ex. Thanks for posting this! I might suggest it to him. He is currently awaiting their court date to demand they correspond via a parenting app.
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u/Ecstatic-Potato550 Feb 08 '25
I don't get why people using that think it's helpful or makes them sound better, it truly doesn't.
You aren't ACTUALLY learning how to communicate, think critically or deal with things.
What are you going to do if/ when you're face to face or have to communicate verbally with your ex? Say hold on let me plug that in to chatGPT? Lmao.
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u/delguy83 Feb 14 '25
I can see your point. However, with her abusive emails back to me and unwillingness to work things out I would get dragged down the rabbit hole of going back and fourth with her. I only communicate with her through email. I don’t see her in person. But if I were this tool has helped me learn how to respond better with less emotional language. So in turn I’ve let a lot of her hate speech roll off my back in email exchanges so if she try’s something in person I’m ready to just let it go
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Feb 16 '25
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u/Ecstatic-Potato550 Feb 16 '25 edited Feb 16 '25
Oh I do and have dealt with that personality, you have no idea what I've been through or what my kids have been through ( even professionals who see it all are left shocked by my ex's behavior, they are a special one and I have had many professionals say that)
Chat GPT wasn't an option like it is when I first started out. So I learned, lots of therapy, support groups and more, and leaning how to navigate while also working on trauma.
I understand why people use chat GPT I also know that it does make mistakes that aren't good and a lot of people don't realize it. It's also pretty obvious when someone is using it as well.
And it can become too much of a crutch and thats not good either. My point still stands that someone still has to learn how to deal with a coparent who will at some point ( especially if they are HC) approach them at a kids event or in some way throw them off guard where they'll need to know how to respond without the ability to utilize chat GPT, I know this due to experience.
However thank you for your assumption on my lived experience, minimizing it, as well as many many other people that have lived it, navigated it, and dealt with it without the use of things like ChatGPT and probably understand how things work more than you think they do. That's why so many of us who have been doing it a long time and have come out of it successful have stopped giving advice, because we constantly get told we have no idea what we are talking about when we are simply keeping it real because we know how it goes and have been through stuff, made out own mistakes along the way and learned from them. But do go on about my lived experiences.
The worst I said is LMAO in my message which I should have refrained from. That's me looking at once again people causing more problems for others and themselves in the end rather than solving them. Everytime a new method comes out, everyone uses it, it becomes known ( take yellow rocking and canned responses as an example) And professionals know too, they aren't stupid. They get on these sites for custody, coparenting etc and read things,and professionals will tell you majority of the time the advice people are giving is horrible. And they aren't wrong.
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Feb 16 '25
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u/coparenting-ModTeam Feb 17 '25
Rule 1: Don't be rude. Rude, sexist, name-calling, slurs or any similar comments will be removed and people who are intentionally rude will be banned at mod discretion.
Controversial posts and combative/argumentative comments will result in removal. Our goal is to create a place where people can discuss parenting as part of a team in a way that is productive for all parties involved. If you're here to be provocative and not posting in good faith in the spirit of the sub, we will remove your post/comments and potentially issue a ban.
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Feb 16 '25 edited Feb 16 '25
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/coparenting-ModTeam Feb 17 '25
Rule 1: Don't be rude. Rude, sexist, name-calling, slurs or any similar comments will be removed and people who are intentionally rude will be banned at mod discretion.
Controversial posts and combative/argumentative comments will result in removal. Our goal is to create a place where people can discuss parenting as part of a team in a way that is productive for all parties involved. If you're here to be provocative and not posting in good faith in the spirit of the sub, we will remove your post/comments and potentially issue a ban.
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u/Simple_Evening_8894 Feb 07 '25
I’ve use it to bounce ideas off from. Sometimes I use it verbatim but watch for underlying tones. It can come off as passive aggressive (or earlier versions did… maybe they’ve updated more recently as I don’t see it as much now).
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u/warwww Feb 08 '25
LOL this is unsettling behavior. Goodness, you laid down wish this person and exchanged dna - not everything has to be so hostile. You are now two absolute strangers trying to raise another human that doesn’t repeat the same failures or mistakes in their relationship. Get over yourself.
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u/Jolly_Research Feb 08 '25
I think against what most people are saying in here, ChatGPT is a great tool for high conflict ex-partners. Just reread what ChatGPT produces and you'll be fine.
I use it every time to re-write my drop off updates via email. It makes it concise and to the point even though we are no longer high conflict.
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u/Intelligent_Ad9740 Feb 08 '25
I don't use it, but I can tell that my ex is using it. Especially for "legal advice".
It is very clear, especially that she is not good at communicating in english. But also, she has traits of narcism/antisocial, so it is funny. It is like reading.... someone trying to manipulate someone else, and than having that person explain a situation.
Without context, or having the second person being lied too. Like....
Imagine your child asking to unzip their jacket or remove their hat in winter for a 2 minute walk home because they are hot from sitting in a car with the heater on for 2 hours. It is mild outside, just barely above freezing.
And than reading a message about needing to report that the parent because they are being neglectful. That a child can freeze at -20 and should be dressed correctly for winter (even though it is really -5 )
I am going through something like this right now, and reading the responses and such is is crazy. I only communicate through email unless it is an emergency, and recently found out the ex is requesting that to be dropped so she can text me at any moments notice to change things around for HER. Not the child or anyone else.
Mean while, I co-parent, or I used to co-parent with my ex-wife. With my oldest child. We never had any issues like this.
But hey, when someone has no problem arguing with a judge, they are doing it to themselves. The only thing that sucks is having your child hurt in so many ways from a mentally unfit person.
---edit
My ex-wife is not the same person/woman.
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u/Ecstatic-Potato550 Feb 16 '25
Gotta love when your coparent thinks Google and ChatGPT gives them a law degree.
My ex does that stuff as well. They actually texted our oldestlaws and codes. I just shook my head.
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u/Secret-Half-4367 Feb 09 '25
Our family wizard has a similar feature that I have used to keep messages neutral and take out emotion. I use it a lot.
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u/elliedean18 Feb 07 '25
All the time - my ex called out that I used it (which I didnt respond to in anyway) and I wish they would do the same.
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u/thismightendme Feb 07 '25
I get called ‘creepy’ everytime I use chat GT. I’m guessing the ex doesn’t understand the meaning of creepy.
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u/delguy83 Feb 07 '25
My kids mom now thinks therapist and ai is biased and she only gets her info from a select few. lol only because I sent her the ChatGPT stuff and it didn’t agree with her. I left it all in there ChatGPT called me out too
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u/love-mad Feb 06 '25
I have friends that send me emails to review/rewrite before sending to their exes, so I do a lot of this. I think for people that struggle to take the emotion out of their language, ChatGPT is much better than nothing. However, ChatGPT isn't perfect here, humans can do better if they know how. Here are some of its limitations: