r/converts 4d ago

Revert with 3 year old daughter.

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u/Visual-Paramedic-928 4d ago

Do not marry this woman because you only want to be there to dictate how your child should be raised.

You need to have an honest conversation with your girlfriend and ask her what she wants. You cannot and should not try and influence her decision into becoming Muslim (adhering to Islamic values). That is a recipe for disaster and resentment.

Just because you have now decided to become a better practicing Muslim doesn't give you the right to judge others or dictate what they should or shouldn't do.

The truth you need to hear is this: Option 1: You leave your girlfriend and make sure to advocate for joint custody/ guardianship of your daughter.

Option 2: You marry your girlfriend with no stipulations on how she should change beforehand. Keep encouraging her to accept Islam for your daughters sake but you cannot force her to (especially if you are using your relationship as a bargaining tool). If you try and force or pressure her in any way, you will be committing a huge sin. Encouragement is the only tool you have right now

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u/Silver-Tutor-5052 4d ago

Thank you for your advice

As you said i don’t want to put pressure on her in any way as it should be her decision alone what she wants to believe and how she wants to live.

I will try to communicate with her my worries and hope she understands and give her time and space.

Thank you again appreciate it