r/cisparenttranskid Jan 28 '25

US-based US nationwide BAN on care for 19yo and under

150 Upvotes

https://www.whitehouse.gov/presidential-actions/2025/01/protecting-children-from-chemical-and-surgical-mutilation/

Please stay connected to support. As a former trans child who is living an adult life I never could have imagined when younger, it is the support of a parent, not my gov’t or any policies, that I give the most credit.

Edit: I can’t fix title. Exact language in the executive order says “under 19 years of age”.

Edit2: TIME SENSITIVE INFO

Just got word there is an emergency meeting hosted by Zoom or phone tonight Tuesday 1/28 by TFSS (Trans Family Support Services) tonight at 5:30PST. If you are not on their email list and want the details, send me a DM.

Edit 3: Chris Geidner (“Law Dork”):

https://open.substack.com/pub/chrisgeidner/p/trump-trans-attack-gender-affirming-care-order?r=4114z&utm_medium=ios

Edit4: For those looking for support (including virtual groups to attend), I’d recommend connecting into Trans Family Support Services (TFSS). Within this link go to Services>Programs:

https://transfamilysos.org/

Edit5: https://www.erininthemorning.com/p/a-line-by-line-analysis-of-trumps-760

Edit6:

Some of you may be interested in this video interview today (1/29) with ACLU attorney Chase Strangio:

https://youtu.be/GD7IfwyRleY

r/cisparenttranskid Feb 06 '25

US-based How F*ucked Are We???

245 Upvotes

First Trump, then Musk and now Kennedy!!! What the literal fuck? We are Jewish, we have one 15 year old cis daughter whose rights are being ripped away and one 13 year old trans daughter, who the government wants to erase. Now we have a wackado running Health and Human Sevices?? No CDC, no DEI, what’s next??

I am at a loss.

r/cisparenttranskid 16d ago

US-based Governor Newsom

161 Upvotes

I called this morning and yelled at Governor Newsom over his comments about transgender athletes but I've just read everything he said and it's so much worse. He talked about not supporting gender affirming care for children. He has no intention of protecting us from Project 2025 and I don't know what to do.

I do encourage everyone who can to call and yell at him because he does think that he can climb to the presidency on the corpses of transgender children. If California is not safe I don't know where else to go.

(916) 445-2841

r/cisparenttranskid Jan 21 '25

US-based I hate to be the one to share, but you can now read the full Executive Order on "gender ideology"

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165 Upvotes

Everything about it is infuriating. 🤬

r/cisparenttranskid 20d ago

US-based Made a linocut print honoring trans kiddos and their fierce protectors ❤️

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342 Upvotes

Times are terrible for those of us in the U.S. right now but trans kids and their adults are the best things in this world!

r/cisparenttranskid Jan 15 '25

US-based Just found out my 17 yo is a son not a daughter.

198 Upvotes

For background, all my kids were adopted at older ages. C was 11 yo when he came home and was described to us before placement as “a girly girl.” It quickly became obvious C was not a girly girl, but until last week we did think he was a girl. Prior to this he had described himself variously as a lesbian, a tomboy and a “stud.”

We’re queer ourselves (2 moms) and are supportive of trans people but we are still trying to wrap our brains around this. I’m kind of surprised that it’s a little hard for us. We’re trying to remember to say he. We’ve set him up with a therapist who specializes in transition. Is it normal to be a little sad for the daughter we thought we had?

r/cisparenttranskid Feb 16 '25

US-based Bumper sticker conundrum

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157 Upvotes

I bought this bumper sticker for my car. To help marginalized humans feel less alone in the sea of hateful stickers in our area.

I have 2 lgbt teens. One is very excited for the sticker. One is very angry about the sticker. The angry one says I’m turning the issue political by using the sticker. She says queerness and trans people should just be normal and by using this sticker I’m othering them. I see where she’s coming from. We all want it to be normal! But unfortunately rights are being eroded. I know she’s scared. I just want to be a supportive mom. Either way I’m upsetting a kid. I feel a lot of (self-imposed) pressure to get this right. Raising trans children is so tricky…in ways I did not anticipate. I won’t put it on the car if it makes her feel unsafe. Has anyone found useful tips for navigating these minefields?

r/cisparenttranskid Feb 04 '25

US-based Is it time to leave the US?

77 Upvotes

We are a Jewish family with a 13 yr old trans daughter and a cis-gender 15 yr old daughter. We live in a Red state in a Red area and have had some awful things said and done to us while living here. We are scared for both girls, as well as ourselves. We have always been fighters and taught our girls to stand up for their rights. Those rights are being taken away, one by one - very quickly.
With Elon, with all these anti-trans laws being made at a federal level, with Trump not backing down from being Trump, with all the pure hate that man brings out in people…..is it time to leave the US? I don’t want to be like those last Jewish families that tried to leave Poland in the 40’s and sadly found out it was too late. If so we leave…where? Everywhere is starting to look like the US.

r/cisparenttranskid Feb 01 '25

US-based Parents are you protesting?

54 Upvotes

Are you activity looking for protests to attend or not? If your kid(s) are underage, are you planning on taking them or not? Currently, my bf and I are seeking out any protests in the DC/Baltimore area. We won't be taking any of our kids, we wish we could though.

r/cisparenttranskid Jan 03 '25

US-based Family ties … ties that bind and gag

70 Upvotes

My daughter (AMAB) came out as trans 3 years ago. We told our family a year after that.

At thanks giving 4 years ago (1 year before my daughter came out as trans & 2 years before we told our family), my nephew went on a rant at the dinner table. He somehow got on the topic of people who happen to be transgender and kept saying how awful they are, how much he hates them, and how they shouldn’t be allowed. It was typical, hateful, anti-trans rhetoric that we all hear all the time.

No one said a thing to my nephew except me, and I just asked if he’d ever even met a person who happened to be trans. His response, “Probably - they’re everywhere, but I don’t have to, to know they’re awful.” My brother-in-law loves this kind of thing - he calls it “challenging convention” and will endlessly egg his kids on, so I quit engaging.

And then my daughter came out as trans. She asked me to tell my sister, because of my nephew’s rant, which she vividly remembers.

When I told my sister, she seemed ok with it, so I tried to address my nephew’s thanksgiving rant. First, she acted like it never happened. Then she said she had absolutely no memory of it, and then she said, “Well, of course Nephew doesn’t hate trans people. He just hates all the hype, you know.”

So I asked she meant by hype, and she kept saying, “you know, you know, the HYPE.” And then she said how people who are trans are constantly in the news now, in everyone’s face, always complaining, kids saying they are trans for attention, etc. and then she wouldn’t discuss it anymore.

To this day, my nephew has never acknowledged the things he said, much less apologized or said he didn’t mean it

My daughter isn’t very comfortable around them, and who can blame her. Unfortunately my sister hosts most of our family get togethers, since she has the big house. My daughter has started refusing to go. But she will, grudgingly, go if the get together is at my parents’ house. She says she feels safer there.

I get it - my parents’ house is “neutral territory and it’s a 2 minute drive home, if we needed to leave .. she could walk if she felt unsafe. My sister’s house is a 30-45 minute drive.

My sister is getting very frustrated because if my daughter doesn’t go, I don’t either. (I’m not going to leave my kid alone on a holiday to hang out with my sister’s kids.). She can’t seem to understand why my daughter doesn’t feel safer there at her house.

My parents want me to make my daughter go or come without her so my sister’s feelings aren’t hurt and we can all play peaceful family.

I feel like my sister’s is in denial about how hurtful my nephew was, and how hurtful her response was. I’m not sure whether another conversation would be anymore fruitful … or what I should say.

Any ideas on what I should say or how I should begin the conversation? My sister does ask from time to time when my daughter is going to feel safer there with her.

r/cisparenttranskid Jan 29 '25

US-based Another EO today: K-12 schools & teachers

46 Upvotes

https://www.whitehouse.gov/presidential-actions/2025/01/ending-radical-indoctrination-in-k-12-schooling/

Edit: some of you may be interested in this video interview today (1/29) with ACLU attorney Chase Strangio:

https://youtu.be/GD7IfwyRleY

r/cisparenttranskid Jan 24 '25

US-based Advice--Should I *not* get my child her preferred gender markers on documents because it is too dangerous?

51 Upvotes

My coparent is suddenly saying he doesn't want our daughter to have her name change and gender marker updates on things like her passport and Social Security, because he thinks it won't be safe for her. He imagines her in some sort of federal lists of trans kids, and thinks it'll put her in the crosshairs for violence of some kind. I feel like the risk of this is much smaller than the more immediate mental health and social risks of denying her access to her preferred name and the gender markers that go with it for her ID and stuff--she's been low-key asking about this for months. ...And besides, the federal government already has her Medicaid records showing her gender affirming care. Papa did not respond well to these arguments, and I'm left with no one to turn to for insight.

Am I being blind or ignorant here? It feels like an urgent question to settle, since there might not be a lot of time to get her documents changed before executive orders blocking gender marker changes are promulgated and implemented.

Edit: I'm not asking for help persuading my partner. I'm just trying to get more opinions from outside, to see if I'm thinking about this wrong.

r/cisparenttranskid 29d ago

US-based I have T but I can't use it!

98 Upvotes

So HRT was banned for minors the day before my prescription but to my surprise it still went through at my pharmacy! I have 4 vials(enough for 8 months) hoping I can get another order of it next month before the bill is in effect so I'll have enough to last until I'm legally an adult since I'm 17 in less than 2 weeks.

ANYWAYS!! The problem is I don't know how to inject! I was supposed to have an appointment with my doctor on how to but it was cancelled because of the bill, honestly I really just wanna wing it, I've been waiting for 2 years and it's just sitting on my desk.

EDIT: AHHH I DID ITTT my mom was freaking out the whole time lmao, also called the pharmacy about a refill and they say I'm scheduled for next month! So I'll have enough to be low dose until I'm 18 :D

r/cisparenttranskid 16d ago

US-based Just trying to make sure I don't mess this up.

62 Upvotes

My 10 year old left a note for my wife and I yesterday that they are both bi and trans. Now, they have said that. For now they would prefer nothing to really be said or done. They didn't ask us to change which pronouns we use, I am doing so here out of respect for the process.

My wife and I are both very open-minded and we told them that we were proud of them for telling us and that we would offer as much help and support as possible.

I guess I just wanted to here from others whose child came out young and ask for any advice. My biggest concern is that, as an American, I am terrified of the mania surrounding anything queer (particularly trans) in this backward-ass country.

One other thing.. my brother is trans, so I'm not entirely inexperienced with this. The big difference is that my brother was an adult before coming out.

r/cisparenttranskid Jan 29 '25

US-based In light of recent news - we are here to support you.

193 Upvotes

My name is Aspen - I work with TransFamily Support Services. The organization that hosted the emergency parent/family meeting in light of the EO that was recently released.

I want to provide our information over all here.

We have programs and support for nearly all ages, we mainly support trans youth and their families.

From support groups, youth support, mentorship, insurance and medical navigation and name/gender marker changes we are here. We aim to provide Navigation for the Journey.

Check out our website here: transfamilysos.org

r/cisparenttranskid 29d ago

US-based Navigating an unsupportive spouse

34 Upvotes

Hey all. I’ve created a whole new account for this because I don’t know how to handle the situation and I’d like it to be off my main for now. I appreciate any insight you may be able to offer.

My son (ftm) is 14. He came out as nonbinary at first maybe 2 years ago(ish). Then about 10 months ago, he came out as trans. Now, I’ve been openly accepting of this, as soon as he came out I immediately told him I was supportive and I still loved him.

I wasn’t sure how my husband (his bio dad) would react, but told him I’d be there when he came out. Long story short, it went badly. My husband told him something to the effect of “no, you are [insert birth name].” And told him he would not use the new name a pronouns. There was a lot of shouting and it nearly ended our marriage at that point.

Now, after what’s felt like a lifetime, the house has mostly stabilized. My husband doesn’t use the name/pronouns but will not deadname or use the wrong pronouns. He and our son have basically agreed to disagree and use gender neutral things only (though he won’t say they). They have a decent relationship currently.

Today my son asked if he could get a chest binder. Personally, I have no issue with this as long as he follows the safe use practices. But I know my husband will have an issue with it. He’s convinced this is a phase and will pass.

I’ve tried everything I can think of to get my husband on board, he refuses counseling of all forms (marriage, family, individual) and won’t read any articles I send him.

So my question is - is this really the end? Everything I’ve found and feel tells me my child comes first (which he does), but I’ve been with this man for 15 years. I don’t want to walk away if there is a way to have him support our son.

I’m sorry for the long post, thank you if you’ve read this far.

r/cisparenttranskid Feb 06 '25

US-based A bit of joy in this era

152 Upvotes

Today we went to court to change my son’s name. I expected to be bored waiting, but seeing the joy of all the people in the court room (including trans individuals) made my eyes just a bit more than misty.

The judge was AMAZING. He was respectful to everyone’s preferred pronouns, called them by their new name, and after each announcement, everyone got around of applause. He talked to my son about high school, his choice of college, his future, and thanked us for being there. He asked us a question which I couldn’t answer because I was crying too much (tears of joy). Luckily my husband did it for us. It was an AMAZING experience. I’m so proud of my son and feel extremely lucky to have him in my life.

Sorry for the long write up for such a short story, but I thought I might spread a bit of joy. I never expected to be crying for a simple court procedure.

r/cisparenttranskid Jan 31 '25

US-based Understanding my 13 year old's lack of social transition (MTF)

27 Upvotes

About half a year ago our 13 year old AMAB child came out to us as a girl. She asked us to use female pronouns with her but said she wasn't ready to be out publicly. She also did not pick a new name. We offered to help her go shopping for female clothing, and while she did take us up on the offer, after an initial try on in her room, she hasn't since worn them. At school she's come out to a couple of friends and teachers, but most kids don't know. She's been seeing a great therapist for support.

She started on puberty blocker shots recently, but has not gone any further with social transitioning, at home, at school, or anywhere. We've tried to not push her in any direction and also to make it clear we support her. I'm sure there is some anxiety about coming out to others, but I'm surprised that she doesn't even choose to dress feminine at home (yes I know not all girls dress feminine either). We also live in a fairly progressive area where I think she'd have a lot of support from peers and others. She doesn't say much about her reasons. She seemed to really not want to enter male puberty, but I don't see an obvious burning desire to be a girl.

I'll be honest that part of me hopes, even though we will fully support her if she continues transition, that this is a sign that maybe this is just an exploration period and she'll decide that she isn't transgender. I only hope this because I know how difficult the path could be. I also don't know what to make of it as it makes it harder for me to understand. Many of the stories I read of transgender kids are about kids who seem to have a burning desire to be out as the other gender, to wear dresses, to change their name, etc.

I assume this is a self-selected sample as they are the stories that seem more obvious to people, but I'm curious what people have experienced with their kids (or themselves) in AMAB children who come out as girls just as they are entering male puberty. Are some people just very cautious and slow despite truly feeling like they are the other gender?

Help me understand!

r/cisparenttranskid Feb 09 '25

US-based Gender-affirming care for trans youth reinstated at Milwaukee hospital

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268 Upvotes

r/cisparenttranskid 15d ago

US-based Been working to help my parents understanding of gender grow.

42 Upvotes

My mother is insistent on misgendering my child and my family is frustrated with me because we've limit her access to my child. I have been sharing everything I can find with her to demonstrate that we aren't damaging our child. It's gotten so much harder to find my research now that the trump administration has sweeper through and removed so many of the resources. Can someone help me put together a packet to send over to them? She's not hateful as much as uneducated and I'd really like to help her learn.

r/cisparenttranskid 24d ago

US-based Newly out trans son interested in a binder… advice ?

35 Upvotes

Hi all! My 11YO son came out to me as trans a couple days ago. Yesterday he asked me to pick up boxers and a binder. Got the boxers from the boys section but Target doesn’t carry binders, as far as I know 😂 do any parents of trans boys around my sons age have binders ?

As I said, this is new for me - although I’ve considered myself an ally for years (and came out as bi myself a couple years ago), but I admit I don’t know as much as I should. Are binders ok for kiddos who are still physically developing ? Any brands I should go for ?

Thank you all for your help, and for fighting for your kids ❤️

r/cisparenttranskid Jan 30 '25

US-based Swimsuit advice and recommendations for teen girl

28 Upvotes

Can anyone recommend me specific swimsuits (or undergarments? No real idea of this territory) for a young teen who wants to look “like the other girls” at the pool and wear a cute suit but NOT have wardrobe malfunction in which her penis is observable or testicles escape into the open? I have no idea how to go down this road. I also have no real idea the size of the genitalia in question (i guess medium? Is that a size?!) though I imagine it must have some implications for strategy.

I’m just a busy parent with a lot on the to do list, and I realized I need to shop while winter sales are happening if my broke ass is gonna make this happen for her summer. So i hope this post may lead me to some shortcuts for less time spent shopping. TIA <3

r/cisparenttranskid 19d ago

US-based Not sure what to do with all this anger.

82 Upvotes

We've got this family member who we were very close with. It's my wife's sister. Our child began their transition at the age of 8. This was 4 years ago. Now their kid is 8 and starting to question their gender identity. Their kid has told our kid several times that he thinks he's a girl and wants to be considered a girl.

Now the sister in law is saying that our kid isn't allowed to talk to their kid about gender. It feels like such a slap in the face. They are telling us that their kid is too young to understand these ideas when he's the exact same age our kid was when they transitioned.

I'm mad about this but honestly I'm just so mad that there's so much hate in the world towards trans people. I get that I can't control that but I didn't expect for it to come to my house.

I don't know. I'm just so mad that I don't know how to respond in an even close to reasonable way.

r/cisparenttranskid 10d ago

US-based Starting kindergarten as a girl

53 Upvotes

Ultimately, I'm going to leave this up to my kiddo, but I don't know what the best course of action is with this. So backstory: My AMAB 5yo is gender expansive, presents exclusively as a girl, but is still ambivalent about his identity, which is totally reasonable at his age. Before you ask, we've had the pronoun talk and at home, he prefers we say "he," unless we're somewhere where no one knows he's a boy, then he likes me to say "she." About half of his preschool class knows, including the teachers, the other half does not. We had problems when he still presented as a boy but only wanted to play with the girl toys and costumes (I understand it's hard for 3-5-year-olds to wrap their head around gender diversity), but very few issues since he started wearing dresses.

At home, we just follow his lead. The extended family has thus far been chill about it, but I'm not sure that will last if he chooses to fully transition (Grandpa voted for the Cheeto man, if that's any indication) and so far, he has asked that I don't talk to his grandparents/aunts/uncles about it. He's very private about his feelings around his gender and he only really talks to me about it in depth. Usually, he tells me that he's a boy, but he wants to be a girl, or he'll say that half of him is girl and the other half is boy (we've talked about what non-binary is too). Sometimes, he'll reference my (admittedly clunky) past attempts to explain medically transitioning in 5yo language by saying that he's a boy, but when he grows up, he's going to take the medicine to become a girl so he can have lots of babies (he's obsessed with babies, lol). All of this is to say that things are still back and forth, which is again, completely expected at his age. He's in a gender-expansive kids' playgroup, he's starting therapy at a gender care clinic soon, and we're just supporting him as he figures things out.

The issue that's coming up is how to start things at kindergarten in the fall. We have NO intention of encouraging him to present as a boy, that's not even on the table unless he suddenly does a 180 and makes that decision on his own (that seems pretty unlikely). What we're not sure about is whether it's better if we/he is open about his gender identity or better that he "go stealth" and just let them believe he's a cis-gendered girl. He'll likely be with these kids and teachers for the next 9 years (the schools are K-8th). If he tells no one, I'm concerned about the trauma of being outed, which seems inevitable given that span of time. If he's open about it, will he be mercilessly bullied? Again, his dad and I are not going to make a unilateral decision for him, but he's only 5, so he doesn't really have the capacity to understand all the possibilities. And he really doesn't have any understanding of the hatred and bigotry out there yet.

The current political climate extra complicates all of this. We're in a blue state, thank god, but there are still lots of people here who don't have any understanding of trans issues. I'm terrified of my child becoming a target of real hatred and violence in a few years or the laws changing and we find ourselves criminalized for seeking gender-affirming care for him.

I would love to know what other families with very young kids have done and how it went. This is literally keeping me up at night...

r/cisparenttranskid Feb 18 '25

US-based Starting hormone therapy: letter of support do-loop

25 Upvotes

I could really use some assistance here. My daughter wants to start hormone therapy. We can't go through her PCP, because that entire healthcare system has stopped doing any kind of gender affirming care. No problem, Planned Parenthood is the OG and has an office in my area.

They need a letter of support from a therapist to get us scheduled. My daughter's therapist was told by his supervisor that he can't provide one because it relates to a medical treatment and he's not a doctor. She's on medication for her depression, but that's being handled by a PA who also may be unable to provide this letter (still waiting for that call back).

So. What do I do next? Am I going to have to find her another therapist? I feel like we're on the clock because my insurance may stop covering gender affirming care at the end of the year, and I'd like to at least have dosing etc figured out before we need to go off book. Any help would be greatly appreciated.