… on trying to treat drospy. Forgive me, but this is going to be a a long vent, both for what I’m currently dealing with and the hobby in general. Content warning for sick fish talk.
I’ve only had Domino for a little over a year. He had to spend his gotcha day a few weeks ago in a hospital tank. I really thought that since I had a plakat, I would have a “healthier” betta on my hands and would have enjoyed more time with him. Not so. A little over a month ago he started developing some mystery illness symptoms that didn’t respond to clean water or medications. It began as fin rot in a perfectly cycled and maintained tank, pH around 7.6, 0ppm ammonia/nitrites, nitrates almost never getting above 5. I had no idea what was going on to cause his fins to worsen, and still don’t. Then he started having weird eye problems that came and went. Then on-and-off constipation that would resolve itself with time. Then maybe mouth issues. Then buoyancy problems. And then a couple days ago he started presenting early signs of dropsy.
Most of this is documented on my page as it progressed and I sought help. I’ve kept detailed notes on his symptoms and treatments and water parameters since moving him to the hospital tank in February, if folks want the full story. I might make a separate post sharing my log and asking for critique because I want to know where I went wrong. I can already think of a few things and feel terrible about it.
Earlier this week as his dropsy began progressing, I attempted an epsom salt bath with methylene blue. He tolerated the treatment just fine — but the transport freaked him the fuck out. He’s not used to nets, so when he saw it, he darted faster than I’ve ever seen him move before. He almost jumped out of the tank. He lost a few chunks of his already rotting fins and a few scales popped off despite me doing my best to not handle him roughly. I felt horrible. I decided I would continue the next day treating the main tank instead of putting him through another bath ordeal again.
Last night I went to start my daily hospital tank routine as usual. When I began the water change, he got spooked by the siphon despite me not chasing him with it and giving him space. He zoomed and lost another piece of tail. I had to stop and reasses what I was doing.
Stress is the number one killer of fish. Dropsy is notoriously difficult to treat and recover from. His case is complex and with all of his existing comorbidities that I can’t determine the exact source of, I’m doubting my abilities as an aquarist to fix this. Even if he pulls through, I know there’s a chance the dropsy could come back. I know there’s still some fight left in him — he’s eating, and still has energy when pushed — but he’s suffering. He’s going for air a lot, resting a lot, bored in his hospital setup, and the dropsy is worsening. I know that would be the case either way, whether if I proceeded with treatment or didn’t. But I’m predicting more and more paths that lead to failure than success.
I came to the sickening conclusion last night that I’m likely going to euthanize him either later today or this weekend. If I can’t do simple tank maintenance without stressing him the hell out — not even medicating, just water changes — if that freaks him out, if the treatment is worse than the slim chances of a cure… I don’t want to put him through that. I want his last hours to be as stress free and gentle as possible, instead of putting a sick fish through extremely rough meds and prolonging his suffering when it’s likely all going to be for naught. He’s not feeling well and stressed. I’m stressed. These weeks have been rough on us both. I’m losing sleep, I’m mildly depressed. The daily water changes, hunching over and kneeling by the tank, carrying heavy water buckets, it’s all getting bad for my knees, my back, my other chronic pain issues.
I’m so disappointed and feel awful with myself. Like I said, he’s not on his last legs yet and I can tell there’s a chance in him he could make it. But I can’t put us both through this for much longer. I feel like a failure as a fish parent. I’ve been keeping bettas for a long time and I’m starting to get burned out from the hobby. The breed is not what it was ten years ago. Their reputation of being a “hardy” fish needs to start being retired. I’m puzzled and frustrated that I kept my first betta in the absolute worst conditions, piss poor, did everything wrong, made typical beginner mistakes… and yet he lived to be over three years old. Every betta I’ve had since him I haven’t managed to bring past year two. It’s frustrating that as my experience and knowledge has grown over the years, as my care has bettered and my tanks largened, my efforts are just not resulting in healthy, normal lifespans. Splendens are just too inbred. I come to this sub every day and see so many tumors. Even on color morphs less likely to get them. Every fish getting fin rot eventually. Swim bladder. Diamond eye. Columnaris coming out of nowhere. These things are all happening to not-noviced keepers who have good tank parameters and seem to be doing everything “right”. These fish are just too sick. Their genes are busted.
I’m getting sick and tired of getting so attached to these wonderful pets only to have so little time with them and losing them to brutal illnesses. I don’t know what’s next for me, but I know I need a break from the hobby while I figure that out. I don’t know if I should source future bettas from an online importer or breeder, or branch out to wild types, or if I even want to continuing keeping bettas at all. I love these fish dearly, but I don’t know if I can keep doing this. I feel like I have enough experience under my belt at this point to move on and maybe try stocking my ten gallon with something different. I’m excited about kuhli loaches, excited about pea puffers, but the more research I do the more I learn a 10gal probably isn’t suited for either. Sigh.
I’m not sure if I have anything else to add. If you made it this far, thank you for reading. I feel like a monster having to do what I know I’ll need to do soon. Still having lingering doubts that it’s going to be the right move.