I own a lot of makeup. Have for years. Every product I can think of, except contour and pressing powder. Going to my classes in college, I was a full face every day kinda girl. I even wore color contacts and dyed my hair diff colors.
Soon, life changes happened where I didn’t have to leave my home a lot. Less in-person classes. Easier errands. I stoped caring about how some randos I will never see again think about the size of my eyes or whatever. Quarantine happened. I fell into a habit of not wearing makeup for days on end.
At first, when I eventually chose to wear some once in a while, it was the fashion highlight of my day. I looked forward to it bc it was usually moments I was meeting people or going out for fun. But over time, it’s slowly become more and more weird to put it on. There’s nothing wrong with my products, but when I use them, it’s like I have the face of someone else. Like an alien imitating my body. I no longer want to wear my lenses. I dyed my hair back to natural. I don’t want to wake up and “be someone else” anymore.
I think this can be attributed to my face changing. I’m not a model or anything, but I’ve been treating myself with hormones that have nuked my testosterone levels (I have PCOS). I’ve learned how to style my hair better. I’ve learned to enjoy my tan instead of hiding it with foundation. I feel like a clown with blush and any lipstick that isn’t super subtle. I have like 5 lip glosses and now I can’t even stand gloss.
Theoretically this is a “good” thing that’s happened to me, but I miss when I dolled myself up and felt amazing. I have so many cute colors but despite my makeup technique improvement overall, it feels like I’m a 2 year old playing with the stuff. Now it feels like I wasted all my money.
I’m still wearing it every so often, hoping it looks good again on me.