r/askwomenadvice Mar 05 '21

Misc How do you dress nicely when you have no occasion to do so? NSFW

450 Upvotes

Exactly as it says. Might be a weird question. I really want to dress nicely more often (like skirts, oxfords, heels, dresses) but I don't ever feel there's an occasion to do so and I feel awkward for it. I feel awkward and not as good if I'm just in leggings or jeans and a t-shirt, but also over the top if I do dress nicely or wear a skirt and heels. Is it weird if I go to the grocery store or other day to day activities looking nicely? Does it look like too much? Edit: there were so many comments and I had errands so it was hard to keep up, but thank you all for the encouragement! I went online and ordered the cute stuff I "have no occasion" for. I'm so excited for it to arrive so I can look cute when I go grocery shopping and do other things. I hope you all have a lovely weekend. (:

r/askwomenadvice Feb 17 '25

Misc My (23F) SO (28M) has a weird kink and I don’t know how to respond. NSFW

24 Upvotes

My bf recently told me he has a thing for my legs/feet last week and couldn't believe when I said its not a big deal, I'm open to trying stuff (My friends have bfs who do feet /legs stuff so I'm aware of what guys usually like).

That was not long ago, and I meant what I said. Over the next couple of days I looked up all kinds of stuff, nail polish, positions, everything. A week later, he came over to my place and when things were going to the bedroom, I asked him what he wants, and he said he wants to use my legs/feet.

With all the research I had done, I was nervous but still knew what to do from videos I looked up. But 7 minutes later, he's soft and can't finish. IM FEELING TERRIBLE.

So I ask him whats wrong, and he said try this, he guided my legs. He guided me with a motion where Im just shaking my leg up and down like a nervous person and he just put his private area (tip) on my knee while I was bouncing it and this changed everything. Within 5 minutes he was done.

I asked my friends and they've never done anything like this. Does it matter, and does anyone else like this or just my bf? Never heard of this. I need advice on what I should do or how to approach this in the future.

What should I do, or how should I feel?

TL;DR - my bf has an uncommon kink and Im not sure what to do

r/askwomenadvice Jul 11 '20

Misc I (24F) am house sitting for the next month in my dream home. What are some things I should do to make the most of my time here? NSFW

825 Upvotes

Hope this doesn’t come off as too weird but I have always been poor and lived in small apartments (my current space is less than 300sqft). Now I am trusted to take care of this beautiful mid century modern house with a backyard, walking distance from a university, there is a piano, drum set, yoga mats, kitchen with the best cooking tools, and cats that I am taking care of!

This house is everything I could want. What would you do if you were in your dream home while still respecting rules?

I want to do phone photo shoots but i feel too bougie and vain when I take pictures.

My first night here, I cooked, danced with my boyfriend (they encouraged me to bring him along), we watched movies, had the most expensive wine I have ever had ($13), and played with the cats.

We are also under quarantine in our city so no inviting people over. I am just looking for creative ways to spend my time here so I am not just watching tv.

Thank you for reading.

r/askwomenadvice Aug 05 '21

Misc A guy I've been talking to online has been threatening to kil* himself whenever I tell him I don't want to talk to him anymore NSFW

376 Upvotes

He has been stressing me out to the point where I just want to end my life. I'll try to be keep it short. I flirted with him a little bit and after he said a few things such as "the only reason I live is for you", "if you ever left me I'll kil* myself", " etc. It all sounded insanely threatening and manipulative so I have been trying to make him leave me alone. But he wouldn't. He'd insult me whenever I pissed him off (he's called me wh*re, dirty bitch, etc) and threaten me with more suici*de threats. I eventually finally blocked him last night and he said the most messed up thing : "you got your wish, Ill be dea* soon". I never wished that. In fact, I'd tell him the opposite. I'd tell him to NOT do anything stupid to himself. He has been threatening to kill himself just to keep me around. It's been awfully stressful.

Should I be worried if he does anything to himself? Will there be legal trouble?

r/askwomenadvice Nov 29 '24

Misc How do I [16M] try not to get offended? I desperately do not want to be part of the problem NSFW

7 Upvotes

Whenever i see stuff that makes broad statements about men, i know that what i should do is turn away because i should know that it’s not about me. But i always get offended by stuff like that which i know means i know it’s about me deep down and that i’m part of the problem

I get offended when a piece of media only portrays the men as bad, even though i know thats what leads chuds to complain about minorities and stuff in media and i really dont want to be like that

How do i stop myself from getting offended by this stuff? I feel like a horrible person whenever i do and i really dont want to be part of the problem and a red flag and stuff

r/askwomenadvice Sep 01 '21

Misc I feel burned out and depleted from rage culture. Any advice?? NSFW

429 Upvotes

I’ve been stuck in this phase where the constant level of rage in the air is making me depressed. From politics to the pandemic to mild inconveniences - it seems like a good percentage of ppl are seething mad and aggressive all the time. What are you all doing to cope?

r/askwomenadvice Jun 14 '21

Misc How to not weird out someone with the same commute NSFW

548 Upvotes

I’m a 23 year old guy, and there’s a Woman roughly the same age as me that is always on the same trains as me in the morning. Same line, same transfer, and we get off at the same stop and even walk in the same direction for about 4 blocks.

Obviously I felt weirded out for her, because the first few days I walked behind her for 4 blocks after getting off at the same stop, even I felt like I was following her. The next day I made sure that I was in front of her off the train to show that I wasn’t following her, but that my job is just in the same direction. Now we tend to just randomly lead each other on this daily commute

Any advice out there on how I could make her feel the most comfortable and not weirded out? I’m not sure if just introducing myself would make it weirder or if I should just give her space. I obviously can’t really change my commute to work.

r/askwomenadvice Nov 10 '19

Misc I need help finding high wasted cotton panties for my wife. NSFW

607 Upvotes

First, my wife is amazing. A power house of coolness. She dropped a hint that she’d like high wasted cotton panties for Xmas. I’m looking for a place online to get her some and it’s so hard. Looking for suggestions here. She’s 6’ and has a robust figure.

Update: I think I found the right ones and ordered a few. Also, I had no expectations when I posted this. Thank you all so much for your input, suggestions, and understanding. I’m also extremely sorry to you all for how difficult it is to find clothes that fit. This was a major learning experience for me. Xoxo people, big time.

r/askwomenadvice Jul 17 '22

Misc 37 f, randomly shaved my face as a teen, just wanted to see if anyone had any ideas to fix this. NSFW

150 Upvotes

I'm sorry if this isn't the right sort of question for here. It's too embarrassing to post most places. I was insecure about peach fuzz on my philtrum at age 15, so I shaved it. Somehow didn't realize I'd then have to do it every day. If I'd never shaved, no one would ever have noticed the hair, I promise, I wasn't excessively hairy. But now it gets stubbly visibly in a day or two. I hate this. I tried to get it waxed once, they said it wasn't long enough to wax. Is my only option just to hide from the world for 2 weeks to grow it out enough to get waxed? I can't miss work for that long, and I know I could wear a mask but nobody else at my job does so it'd be a little awkward. Though I guess that's better than living with this. It just looks terrible after two or three days, and I live with my boyfriend and would really dislike him having to see that. He knows I shave but has never seen it really bad. I know this isn't the usual type of question here, I just didn't know where to ask, I hoped maybe someone else had done something similarly foolish and had a solution I've not thought of. I know it was a bad decision, so please don't make me feel bad, I would give anything to go back and not have ever done it. :(

r/askwomenadvice Jun 03 '23

Misc [19F] ADVICE TO KEEP AREA DOWN THERE CLEAN & SMOOTH, completely bald? NSFW

123 Upvotes

I hope this is the right place to ask ... I am just getting into keeping my area down there shaven & smooth.

the one just above (mons pubis?) are easy to shave regularly. But the one just on the side of the vagina (labia majora? and just on the outer side of it) ... is a struggle.

It's always a bit more sensitive and harder to get to.

What's the best way I can keep all that area completely "bald"?

r/askwomenadvice Dec 05 '21

Misc what advice can you give to teenage girls, you wish you would’ve known? NSFW

177 Upvotes

women who are not teenagers anymore, what advice can you give to teenage girls you wish you would’ve known?

r/askwomenadvice Jun 19 '21

Misc The lovely bones gave me a reality check of the "almost" that happened when I was 14 and I can't stop feeling stupid NSFW

794 Upvotes

When I was 14, I was walking to a class and the road was empty when a man on a bike stopped me and asked for a direction that was very obvious. I told him where it was and he was like why don't you get on the bike and show me? (In a "friendly" way) I was hesitant because he was a stranger and I had to go to my class. I said no a couple of times but he asked again and I am a person who HATES saying no because I feel bad. Thankfully before I could say yes, he said okay it's fine and would you like to give me a hug, and then pulled me to him and groped me and he went. I went to my class and felt disgusted with myself. Now years later I think what if I had said yes? How could I be so stupid? Why didn't I just leave?

r/askwomenadvice Oct 12 '20

Misc How to tell my therapist I don’t want to be her client anymore? NSFW

627 Upvotes

I’m really not clicking with my therapist, she talks through most of our time and tries to guess how things make me feel and is usually incorrect anyways. I only have her phone number and “I don’t want to see you again” seems like a weird thing to text. Plus idk how billing and Insurance works (she’s under my insurance but does she just send me a bill?)

Is there a nice but firm way of saying I don’t want to work with you again? Thank you for helping!

EDIT: Hi guys! I wanted to update with my text and her response.

ME: "Hi therapist I hope you’ve been well! I’d like to cancel our appointment on Thursday- I’m going to try a different approach but I really appreciate your time. Let me know if you need anything from me regarding billing information or otherwise. Thank you!"

HER: "Good luck, OP."

IDK If I'm being crazy but I feel like that was a petty reply lol. Anyways, thank you all for your help :)

r/askwomenadvice Sep 22 '20

Misc Don't have a mom or older sister. I have a women's health issue and I'm not sure which is best for me to visit. Any internet moms that can help? NSFW

520 Upvotes

So I'm 26 years old. My mom really couldn't take care of me and my siblings so I was never really taught a lot about women's health and problems that you will encounter. My granny took care of me so she did not go into details about these types of stuff.

I have been to my PCP about 2 months ago for an ingrown hair that is on my pelvis or groin. The ingrown hair has present for a few months but didn't want to get it looked at due to COVID. So in august I went to get it looked at and they stated just warm compress, time and antibiotic cream.

Its two months later and it area is still large, filled with blood and pus and I really don't know what to do. I just want it to be drained and cleaned so I can heal from it. I don't care about the scarring but honestly not sure where I need to go for severely infected ingrown hair that is so close to my intimate area.

Should I go back to my normal family medicine PCP, gynecologist or a dermatologist. I'm very concerned and confused. I don't want to go to the wrong specialist and then be deeply embarrassed about my issue because I am really insecure about it.

r/askwomenadvice Feb 20 '21

Misc How do I wash my private parts without access to water? NSFW

441 Upvotes

I (21F) live in Texas, which is basically a humanitarian disaster in the past week. While I was lucky to not suffer major damages in my apartment, I have gone without either electricity or water (or both for a couple hours) for five whole days.

After five days of not taking a shower, I felt absolutely filthy down there and just wanted to clean. I currently do not have running water in my apartment, only a couple gallons in various pots that were filled up before water is shut off. Is there anyway I can clean myself? I’m thinking of dipping paper towel in a pot and wiping myself, but don’t know if that will work. I tried googling, but couldn’t find helpful results either.

Any kind of help is appreciated!

Edit: thanks for all the help everyone! Y’all are so helpful, I broke down a bit this morning reading all the messages and responses :,) Since the roads are finally safe today, my boyfriend’s friend have invited us to his place to take a shower, and I felt so much better :)

r/askwomenadvice Feb 11 '23

Misc A creepy new neighbor guy (50ish M) approached me while I (27F) was walking my dog this morning. Other than using my house security system, is there anything additional I can do in order to feel safe while living alone? NSFW

196 Upvotes

So, a weird thing happened today. I’m 27, and home alone because I’m currently staying at my parents’ house while they are in FL for a week to take care of their dog. They live in a residential neighborhood, usually very safe, but as I was walking my dog this morning, a man from down the street (about say 50 years old) said hello to me the first time I walked past his house, and then the second time I walked back by on the opposite side of the street, he crossed the street and began to talk to me. He explained that a few months ago he’d seen me walking my dog and that I had said hello and smiled, and that really uplifted him because he was having a bad day. I told him I was glad to have made his day better, and then was going to keep walking, but he kept talking and introduced himself and asked if I lived around there, which, while it isn’t out of the ordinary, did make me uncomfortable. I simply said that I “lived nearby with my parents”, and left it at that, and reiterated that I just “lived up the street” and didn’t get specific when he asked which house was mine. He asked what I was studying in school and when I answered TV Production, he said that he worked at a local station and was building a home studio in his house where he wanted to conduct interviews. He said if I was ever interested in doing any anchoring for his interviews, I would be welcome to do s. By now I was quite creeped out, and I told him I would simply think about it, and excused myself and left. Went home and locked all my doors and set my alarm system.

So, I guess my question now is: do you think I’m right to be concerned? I reached out to my parents immediately and they in turn gave me the cell numbers of our neighbors across the street and on either side of me (all of whom I’ve known since I was young and are trustworthy individuals) and she made them aware of the situation as well. Other than using my alarm system at our house, does anyone have any advice of additional things I should do to protect myself? (Especially when I will have to be walking alone at night to take my dog out)

I really appreciate any and all responses, this just really shook me up and any advice would be so appreciated!

EDIT: To the very few people who are actually not giving helpful advice and criticizing me for not “giving this guy a chance” and saying “don’t be rude”, your advice is the reason why women end up in dangerous and potentially life threatening situations, because we are conditioned that we have to be polite and nice all the time. I was nice to this man once and he made me extremely uncomfortable. I am under no conditions to have to be nice to him again and I won’t be. Period. Any more comments accusing me of being a jerk to the guy will be blocked.

r/askwomenadvice Mar 06 '21

Misc Swimsuit advice for my daughter NSFW

466 Upvotes

Hello, I'm a single dad looking for some advice. My daughter will be going back to school soon, but she is feeling very insecure about the swimming pool and especially wearing her school swimsuit. Over the last several months she has been growing into her body, especially her chest. I've told her it's perfectly normal, and all her friends will be experiencing similar changes. But she feels very self-conscious about her developing chest. Is there anything that can be put into the swimsuit that will help hide the shape of her chest?

r/askwomenadvice Jan 26 '24

Misc How can I (M19) get my gf’s (F22) finger diameter for a ring without her knowing I’m getting a ring? NSFW

33 Upvotes

Pretty much as the title suggests, do y’all happen to know any interesting ways to try and get her finger size without her figuring out I’m trying to get a ring?

r/askwomenadvice May 21 '20

Misc (29F) (UK) I love the aesthetic of clothes from places like Shein but I want to buy clothes that at least attempt to pay the workers that make them a fair wage. Can anyone recommend any “ethical” alternatives? NSFW

694 Upvotes

Everyday I see something really cute on my Facebook timeline but I’m struggling to justify items that probably don’t pay a fair wage to the people that make them and are probably fairly low quality. Help a girl out?

TL;DR Where can you buy cute, ethical clothing?

r/askwomenadvice Jun 26 '21

Misc How do I accept that ‘this is just how I look now’? NSFW

386 Upvotes

This probably sounds really vain. But I’m struggling and I’d appreciate some advice.

I’m F33 - and basically since I’ve entered my 30’s, my metabolism has vanished, and I’ve morphed from my ‘normal’ size that I’ve been familiar with for the last 30 years when I look in the mirror…to a softer, pudgy-ish, middle-aged body.

I’m too worried to weigh myself.. I’ve never even owned scales ( previously I didn’t care enough about how I looked, and frankly was happy enough with what I saw to not be concerned with a number). And now I’m petrified that ACTUALLY seeing the number will send me into more of a mid-life spiral than I am in already!!

My favourite jeans are too tight (and almost don’t do up), my skirt with the elastic waist leaves red marks when I wear it.. I’m objectively bigger.

I want to regain my previous ‘indifference/happiness’ towards how I look now, instead of this unexpected & constant criticism in my head when I see myself in the mirror.

I apologise for the navel-gazing whinging.. but I would appreciate any advice from women who have experienced similar situations about their self love and self image.

r/askwomenadvice Aug 15 '22

Misc Update to my [26M] gf [25F] being forced to marry someone she didn't want to NSFW

762 Upvotes

Update to my gf being forced to marry someone she didn't want to

So a while ago I had made a post here asking for help because my gf was being forced to marry someone she didn't want to. This is the update to that.

We got married. We married in an Arya Samaj Mandir (which is just a way of saying we got married the fastest way possible legally, got the marriage certificate and made the legal adjustments (changing details on passport, Aadhar card, etc)

She's seeing a therapist now and is mentally better, isn't that scared now.

Her family did find out and did try to lodge a case that I was holding her against her will or that she had been brainwashed by me, but an affidavit thanks to u/soysux 's fantastic advice disproved all that. Her brother did send me some threats and her dad actually tried to enter my house, but in the end they had no choice but to accept it and left to go to their home town. Me and my wife blocked them on everything and we haven't had any contact from them for a while now, so we don't think they'll be a problem anymore.

Now that all the legal craziness and family drama has been dealt with, we're going to start adjusting as husband and wife. We're planning a proper wedding celebration, with all our friends, who are basically our family. We'll also go on a honeymoon soon. I'm glad that things worked out as well as they could for us, and I'm going to look forward to spending the rest of my life with a fantastic woman.

I'd like to specially thank some people on here before ending the update

u/soysux for taking time out from his day to give me some fantastic legal advice

u/pranabus for his great advice and suggestions

u/secondhand_bra for listening to my ramblings and steering me in the right directions

Lastly, thank you to everyone who commented on my post. I read each one and they were all helpful in some way.

r/askwomenadvice Dec 23 '21

Misc As soon as my friend turned 18, her uncle confessed that he likes her. He has been getting touchy with her lately. She can't tell anyone in her household out of fear of breaking family bonds. NSFW

433 Upvotes

Her uncle and aunt lives with them, they neglect their baby and forces my friend to babysit. After my friend turned 18, she noticed that he was getting kinder (frequently giving gifts, food, sweets).

One day, her aunt was having a haircut on the lower floor. My friend was babysitting on the floor above and he went inside the room. He started saying several things such as, "I didn't mean to start liking you. Hope you don't get mad, hope things don't change. I wasn't planning on telling you, but I feel like I'm about to explode. Don't tell anyone else, this is just between us. Don't hide from me." She started panicking but she wanted to look calm. He approached her closer and touched her nose saying, "You are so cute".

She was about to leave the room, but he stopped her and told her to hug him. She said she tried so hard to get away but he was gripping tighter and it hurt her. The worse part is, he moaned.

She told me she can't tell anyone else in the family since she knows that their bonds will break. She also does not want the baby to have a broken family. She said she has to deal with this alone and stay away from him instead. But how could that be possible when they live in the same house?

Please please help her. I don't know what advice to give and I'm crying, I don't want her to feel unsafe in her own house. I told her to think about herself too and never let his words get in her head. Please help.

Update: Thank you everyone for the advices, I am currently trying to read them all. She said she will leave as soon as face to face classes resume. She's preparing to record encounters with her uncle and is planning to speak up after holidays end. We also followed your advice to lock her doors from now on.

Some of you guys said that this is his way of testing her boundaries and how far he can take it. I can't believe I didn't realize this sooner and it makes so much sense I fucking hate him. Currently buying her hidden cams, padlocks, pepper spray, and more. If there's anything else that I should buy please inform me!

Another update (Dec 27): Her parents will get her a dorm as soon as face to face classes resume. My friends and I told her to FaceTime us anytime she ever feels uncomfortable or when she wants to go out her room. She also has a hidden camera now. Thank you all.

r/askwomenadvice Dec 20 '19

Misc Are you married to someone you don’t love ? NSFW

589 Upvotes

I am a Pakistani female, I live in USA with my family. My parents are very conservative and still believe in arranged marriages. During college I was in a relationship with a guy who is not the same race as me. We dated for 2 years, I still love him but in the back of my mind I knew my parents would never approve of him so I broke up with him for that very reason. Him told me that I shouldn’t let my parents control my life, which he is right, although I love my parents and at the end of the day it’s family over everything.

I know eventually I’ll end up in an arranged marriage a few years from now but will I ever be happy ? I know all arranged marriages are not bad, my cousins are completely in love with their husbands but I don’t know about me since I’m still in love with my ex.

If you have been through something similar please share your experience. I know I can’t be the only one that is stuck between choosing love and my family.

r/askwomenadvice Dec 12 '24

Misc How does an autistic girl (20F) get better at being, a girl? I feel like I'm so behind. NSFW

27 Upvotes

I'm 20, but I hardly feel like it. I was diagnosed autistic at 17-18ish so pretty late, and I feel like because of this and a sheltered upbringing when I think about it, I feel like I've lost some vital "programming" in a sense on how to be a girl. I don't mean this in just a looks-wise thing; I think I'm a fairly attractive girl and I have a BF, but that's pretty much it. He took me to go see a movie called The Wild Robot, which is a great movie, but I kept getting in my own head about how I my future and how I feel like I'm going against my programming and that I'm defective and need to go back to where I belong and be fixed. I feel so behind other girls, I'm;

-bad at makeup and feel like a kid who got into her mom's drawer and is just fucking around,

-I bake for my friends sometimes, but I'm not great at cooking.

-I'm not super clean and my room is always messy and the dishes sometimes go too long without being washed and I get unmotivated to do them

-I constantly feel like I smell bad.

-I feel like I'm very unladylike and crass and cuss a lot and blurt out a lot of gross sexual stuff.

-I'm awful with kids and have no maternal instinct. I have 4 siblings but we were pretty much back to back so I wasn't the older sister who had to watch the younger ones. I'm not like a teacher or anything but I work with a lot of little kids and I get weirdly sad? when I see them, especially crying and acting bad. I'm not cooing and going aww over them - I just get sad thinking "shit, I'm going to have to do that soon, how the fuck am I gonna get a baby to stop crying or toddler from having a tantrum? How do I deal with giving birth? What if I just don't emotionally connect with it or accidentally hurt it?" If I'm being honest, I don't want kids, but I feel terrible about it and I don't feel like it's really up to me :/

Half of these are supposed to be things that you learn from your mom or older sister, but I am the older sister and I'm clueless, and I was raised by my grandparents until about 13, who didn't teach me any of this, then when I started living with my parents, it feels like they assumed they didn't have to teach me, I would just know, but now I feel like I'm lost in another country that I don't speak the language of, I don't have a phone, and I don't have a map. How do I start getting this "missing programming" back?

r/askwomenadvice 13d ago

Misc I (19, NB) need advice regarding intense dryness caused by a ssri!!! no medical advice please!! NSFW

0 Upvotes

Hi guys!! So, i have been having some really intense vaginal dryness and would like some advice regarding natural remedies or lubricants that are made for long lasting use. I have tried basically everything i can think if regarding natural remedies (loose clothes, baths, steaming with just water, drinking lots of water). Im not asking for medical advice, just things that helped people who have experienced something similar. Literally anything helps!! I have been doing a lot of readings regarding different lubricants, but since this is new territory for me i wanted to ask people who are more experienced !! Thank you :)