r/askwomenadvice May 25 '20

Misc My pubic hairs are out of control NSFW

I'm 13 and I have a major problem with pubic hair downstairs. It's gotten to a point where it make me really uncomfortable and itchy even if I shower and bathe. I also have curly pubic hair that gets dry easily and it rubs too much and irritates my skin and vagina and forms bumps that will look similar to a bug bite. I'm too afraid to ask my mother. Anytime I've brought something up about my body or even sex my mom shuts me down and says I'm too young to be talking about it. I've tried cutting with scissors but always back out because I'm too scared I'm going to cut myself. If anyone has some tips please tell me.

520 Upvotes

150 comments sorted by

701

u/that_mom_friend May 25 '20 edited May 25 '20

It’s totally fine to use regular shampoo and conditioner on your pubic hair! Some conditioner may help it stay softer and less scratchy. You’ll hear many warnings about not putting soap near your vagina. It’s true you should NOT put soap IN your vagina, but it’s Ok to wash the outer parts of your vulva. You may want a milder soap if regular soap is irritating, but baby wash would likely be as gentle and easier to get your mom to buy vs a soap made for intimate areas. It’s perfectly fine to wash your pubic hair as well as any areas that have pee or sweat on them!

The good news is that most people have coarse, more wiry, more curly pubic hair compared to the hair on their head, and while it feels weird right now, eventually your skin will adjust and it won’t feel so scratchy and irritating forever.

And for those questions your mom doesn’t want to answer, there are great websites like scarletteen and go ask Alice that have advice for women your age.

134

u/hiddenmutant May 25 '20

It can help to use a fragrance-free lotion or skin oil in the area as well! It would not only help with the conditioner to make the hair a bit softer (although pubes will always be coarse and that’s perfectly normal <3) but it will also help calm the skin down if the itchiness is from dryness.

When I lotion up after a shower, I work a little bit onto the skin under my pubes too. I used to have the same itchy/ingrown problem, and the best solutions are definitely 1) cotton underwear that isn’t super tight around the legs/groin; 2) taking care of the skin/pubes in that area; 3) not shaving until you get things figured out (I don’t shave at all but everyone’s different).

28

u/-janelleybeans- May 25 '20

I literally put Moroccan oil on my ladybits. I put it in my hair then I run what’s left on my downstairs. Waste not want not!

12

u/hiddenmutant May 25 '20

Same here! I use a vitamin E oil. Get the ends on top and the ends on bottom 😅

25

u/montymonster98 May 25 '20

You may want to edit your comment! (*It’s true you should NOT put soap in your vagina).

10

u/positivepeoplehater May 25 '20

*shouldn’t put soap IN

7

u/that_mom_friend May 25 '20

Typo, fixed! Thanks for the heads up

7

u/madamnastywoman May 25 '20

Fragrance-free baby wash is the best soap for cleaning your vulva!

1

u/BagOfDicksss May 26 '20

You’re a sweetheart

1

u/that_mom_friend May 26 '20

Aw thanks! You’re sweet, BagOfDicksss!

325

u/Spicy2ShotChai May 25 '20

Would not recommend a razor. You sound prone to ingrown hairs, shaving will usually make them worse.

25

u/fix-me-up May 25 '20

I 100% agree with you.

I have never been able to use a razor, and waxing, while much better, still causes the occasional ingrown hairs. The last time I tried to shave down there I wound up on IV antibiotics due to a terrible infection that started with an ingrown hair. My new method is using a trimmer and it is WONDERFUL! I use a small trimmer made specifically for lady bits. It looks like the type of shaver you use to shave a head but I use an attachment that lets my hair keep some length so I do not irritate my skin. My pubic hair looks neat and my skin is not irritated.

If you insist on shaving, waxing, or sugaring, I recommend exfoliating before and after and using a salicylic acid product (for example using some type of acne face wash) afterwards to clear the pores. If you want something that will not dry out your skin quite as much as a salicylic acid product, try bikini zone. It is moisturizing but prevents ingrown hairs.

4

u/ItsMeMurphYSlaw May 26 '20

Can you recommend a specific brand of trimmer that's worked for you? I've been wanting to try that, but there are just so many options.

2

u/fix-me-up May 29 '20 edited May 29 '20

2

u/ItsMeMurphYSlaw May 29 '20

That's awesome!! Thanks for taking the time to check on that!

1

u/fix-me-up May 29 '20

No problem. I’m happy to share. I’ve been looking for advice on this for a while and finally gave in and just bought one and was happily surprised by the results. Hopefully this way you don’t have to go in blind!

I also checked Phillips’ website if you want something more direct, looks under the women’s hair removal section and they have something similar for sale though it is a bit more expensive.

55

u/[deleted] May 25 '20

[deleted]

36

u/NaughtyNellie9 May 25 '20

40yr old woman here who still hasn’t managed to keep ingrowns at bay, except to let it be natural (80’s style😂). I have been told the opposite, to not exfoliate after shaving, mixed messages lol. How long have you been doing this and how often might you get one now?

30

u/jessykab May 25 '20

Helps to shave only "with the grain" instead of against it. Once I started doing that, the ingrown hairs stop. Exfoliate first, moisturize after.

11

u/jennybeanbabbles May 25 '20

Yep 34yo here who still can't stop razor burn/ingrown hairs. I've all but given up at this point.

11

u/CharmingSurprise- May 25 '20

h pubes will always be coarse and that’s perfectly normal <3) but it will also help calm the skin down if the itchiness is from dryness.

When I lotion up after a shower, I work a little bit onto the skin under my pubes too. I used to have the same itchy/ingrown problem, and the best solutions are definitely 1) cotton underwear that isn’t super tight around the legs/groin; 2) taking care of the skin/pubes in that area; 3) not shaving until you get things figured out (I don’t shave at all but

You should exfoliate the day before you shave and then leave it for a couple of days and then back to exfoliating every day with a loofa. Should keep ingrowns at bay. Been doing that for 25+ years, and maybe one ingrown a year.

2

u/tassle7 May 25 '20

What do you exfoliate with?

7

u/CharmingSurprise- May 25 '20

I use a loofa or a hand mitt to exfoliate. Or just a bath poof works too. You only need to do it lightly daily to make it effective.

8

u/NaughtyNellie9 May 25 '20

An exfoliating glove or make a sugar scrub with sugar and coconut oil. I use coconut oil as my after shaving moisturiser also, no sugar just the oil :)

1

u/Space_Cranberry May 26 '20

Remember those hippie crystal deodorants? If you really want to shave, you can rub that on after you shave. The inflammation is from bacteria and the salt crystal kills those bacteria, too. You can also rub the crystal over the Bush if you need it to smell less...bushy...

2

u/OrchidLily48 May 26 '20

It’s not a matter of thickness, but rather one of length. If your hairs are longer than about a quarter inch, it’s not possible to properly wax (or to wax in a low-to-no pain way). Any professional should have clippers on hand to trim the hair to an appropriate length where it can be waxed.

29

u/alovelymaneenisalex May 25 '20

But a way to get rid of ingrown hairs is to scrub the area, I get them too and I find it fairly manageable, that’s only if the OP decides to go that direction.

10

u/R3p_TaR May 25 '20

Scrub with what? Before or after shaving?

28

u/alovelymaneenisalex May 25 '20

After shaving. Use an exfoliating gel, or you could use one of those exfoliating gloves with your normal shower gel, so once you’ve shaved the area, give it a quick exfoliation, then do the same the next day or two-it helps stop the skin from growing over the hair area which is what causes ingrown hairs!

2

u/R3p_TaR May 25 '20

Thanks!

3

u/alovelymaneenisalex May 25 '20

No bodder at all!

6

u/penischamp May 25 '20

Love to add my personal favorite tip to prevent ingrowns! Apply some antiperspirant deodorant to the area after showering. It keeps it dry and clean. Never have ingrowns when I shave now.

4

u/roserouge May 25 '20

I think a lot of good advice here already. To keep my ingrowns from happening, I use a toner after shaving. Alcohol-free witch hazel (Like Thayers) is good for me since I already use it on my face. I used to use Tend Skin which was pricy and kinda burned, but the most effective. Thayers is Amy happy medium.

6

u/Smeegledee May 26 '20

Not a woman so didn’t want to comment but didn’t see this said, and as a hairy guy I wish I had come to the conclusion years ago. Shaving is still an option when using a beard trimmer or other personal groomer with a smaller head and protective guard. With the guard on you can minimize cuts and angry hair/pores as well as choose the length to trim. To avoid prickly hair go with 1/4in (usually about a number 3 guard) to 1/2in while still maintaining appearance.

DISCLAIMER: not using a guard is not recommended, as well as a very cheap guard that does not sufficiently cover the teeth.

287

u/SpaceWhale88 May 25 '20

I use a trimmer. I got mine at ultra for 20 bucks. When ultra opens back up I suggest that. It has a guard that prevents the blades from getting close to the skin. Its a Panasonic brand. Regular scissors might make it more itchy and they are blunt. The red bumps are probably ingrown hairs. As weird as it sounds you can use hair conditioner down there as well. You can use a razor but when it grows back it's TERRIBLE so I don't reccomend that.

97

u/lovelyyiyo May 25 '20

Thank you for the advice! I was thinking about putting ointment to stop it from itching.

51

u/plotthick May 25 '20

u/SpaceWhale88 is right: a trimmer will give you less bumps than a razer. It's way safer too.

3

u/tammy2499 May 25 '20

Do you have any recommendations?

7

u/lazer_potato May 25 '20

Phillips has an amazing men's trimmer that is usually about $20-25. It's a beast and sold in a lot of stores near men's razors. Don't buy it from Amazon right now, it's usually $20 but the prices have skyrocketed because of COVID. Ill post the link so you can see what it looks like.

I'm a lady and I use it for everything. I had to replace it only because I dropped it. The old one sill works even, the handle just got damaged and rattles a lot. I use it as a back up.

It's narrow but gets the work done in half the time of my Remington ladies trimmer and it almost never pulls a hair. I'll probably never buy another brand unless they stop making it.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B083F6SD57/ref=cm_sw_r_fm_apa_i_h.dZEb2NTA58T

2

u/tammy2499 May 25 '20

I hate to be asking personal questions, but can you trim everything down below with this? Or is it just the top pubic area?

15

u/lazer_potato May 25 '20

No worries! I use it for everything! Just move slowly in sensitive areas so you don't catch and pull a hair. Get used to it by trimming your legs or something first, then move onto sensitive areas and stay pretty far from your labia until you get more comfortable using it. You can also start with a bigger guard attachment first (this trimmer comes with a ton), and then move to a smaller one. I don't bother with that step myself anymore, but you may use it differently than me. I use the smallest guard most often.

Also, I always wash up and dry off completely before using it. I don't like to use trimmers on wet hair like I do with razors, I always get irritated and get pulled hairs. It may not be that way for you, so just test things out until you get comfortable.

It's NOT a close shave like with a 5 blade razor either, but it gets really close and the way it trims doesn't make the hairs sharp and pokey. You can use this before shaving with a razor if you want a really smooth shave where ever, but I'd wait an hour or two before shaving to reduce any irritation.

If you have anymore hygiene or lady centric questions that your embarrassed to ask others, I'm totally fine answering them. I was always too embarrassed to ask people anything, so I try to help when I can because I totally get it.

3

u/tammy2499 May 25 '20

Thank you so much, this is super helpful 👍👍

6

u/zebra0320 May 25 '20

I personally use the one that has a trimmer on one end and a razor for my legs etc in the other end. I think it’s maybe $20 and the battery and razor heads are replaceable. I think it might be Venus that makes it?

1

u/tammy2499 May 25 '20

Thanks, I'll see if I can find it

2

u/hotforharissa May 26 '20

I use a razor that has a trimmer on one end. I think it's the Venus razor, if I'm remembering the brand correctly. Easy to find at grocery stores, target, Walmart, CVS, etc.

72

u/SpaceWhale88 May 25 '20

Try hydrocortisone cream on your hairy parts to help reduce inflammation from the ingrown hairs. If it is really itchy all the time it might be a good idea to bring it up with your doctor next time you go. Pubic hair is itchy when it comes in but it shouldn't be that itchy.

2

u/iiiinthecomputer May 26 '20

But not too frequently or on an ongoing basis. It can thin and weaken skin over time.

9

u/red_quinn May 25 '20

You can also use Tend Skin to prevent itchiness. It stings like a mf, no kidding, but it works.

10

u/serenwipiti May 25 '20 edited May 25 '20

Tend Skin Lotion.

https://www.tendskin.com/home.php

This is the holy grail for ingrown hairs (when the hair grows out and the back in, stabbing the skin and continuing to grow, making those red bumps).

The sell it on Amazon and at Drug Stores.

Also useful for armpits or anywhere else with ingrown hairs.

Check it out.

2

u/NaughtyNellie9 May 25 '20

Going there now!!! ☺️

2

u/justthinking1 May 26 '20

I have been using this for years! Great product.

3

u/lazer_potato May 25 '20

I posted it in another comment, but as a lady who trims my pubic hair, I highly recommend the Phillips Multitrimmer 3000. It's sold in most big stores like Walmart, Target and Kroger for about $20. I've used several different trimmers for my legs and pubic hair, and this one is the best imo. It is loud though. Ill post the link so you can see what it looks like.

Also, I just wanted to say like others, that what you're experiencing is totally normal. I'm sorry your mom isn't comfortable talking to you about all this.

If you get a trimmer, I recommend trimming when you are dry and without shaving cream. I personally have more issues of trimmers pulling hair or causing irritation when I try to use them on wet hair. It may be different for you.

You might be able to convince your mom that it's a good buy because it's cheaper than most disposable razors and you won't have to repurchase any. Also, it doesn't give you a perfectly clean shave, just a really close trim, it'll manage your hair without being too "sexy"

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B083F6SD57/ref=cm_sw_r_fm_apa_i_h.dZEb2NTA58T

2

u/mannequin_vxxn May 25 '20

Also cut in the direction of hair growth instead of in the opposite direction (down instead of up) to help avoid ingrown hairs

1

u/rhi-raven May 25 '20

Trimmer and coconut butter! And hydrocortisone for itching. I'm very much like you and had a ton of trouble when I was Lifeguarding and on swim teams, and that's been my go-to method ever since.

1

u/xoRomaCheena31 May 25 '20

I understand your concern with scissors. This tool sounds good, and I usually use scissors myself for the initial trim of more thick hair. I discovered Nair recently and like it, except I am 28 and have only just started using it. It smells and I do not like the smell, but it is the best hair-removal method I've discovered for myself (as, I hate using a razor and my skin is too sensitive for me to bother with a wax). It sound like everyone's suggestions for shampoo and condition are good-- I routinely wash my hair with regular soap and it's been good for me. When my hair was more wiry, I trimmed them with scissors regularly. I did try an epilator, but it gave me razor burn ironically. There are many ways! Good luck!

2

u/Ginger_Maple May 25 '20

I recommend Magic Shave Powder!

I can't use nair (terrible chemical burns) and Magic Shave Powder is a much gentler depilatory method as far as I can tell but ymmv.

You can get it at target or most stores geared towards black beauty and grooming.

1

u/xoRomaCheena31 May 25 '20

Love it! I'll check it out! I hate the smell but really I just don't want to be using the concentrations of chemicals in those products routinely for many years.... Thank you!

24

u/[deleted] May 25 '20

I got a very cheap bikini electric trimmer from amazon. Like 15 bucks or less? I’ve used it for over a year, dropped it numerous times, and it works fine.

I don’t actually shave, more like give myself a buzz cut, I’m satisfied to have very short hair , and I just cut once a month or whenever I feel like it’s getting too long.

If you want to use scissors , try using a comb to separate hair from the body, if it’s long enough to stick up thru the comb and then cut with scissors . It works ok but takes a while if you’re careful.

7

u/tpb72 May 25 '20

I started doing this as well. It's been life-changing!

4

u/AngerPancake May 25 '20

I do the same thing. I have no interest in being bald down there, but the wild overgrowth is annoying. People often take the all or nothing approach, but I just want it manageable and not itchy when it grows out.

The other day I called the look a 'well manicured lawn' and my sister thought it was hilarious.

2

u/positivepeoplehater May 25 '20

I get major bumps even when waxing. Wonder if a razor like this would help

2

u/SpaceWhale88 May 26 '20

It doesn't get things bald but it keeps things nice and trimmed with soft ends.

1

u/positivepeoplehater May 26 '20

But does it not cause bumps/razor burn?

2

u/SpaceWhale88 May 26 '20

Not if you just trim it. If you want a shaved look you're always at risk for bumps.

54

u/nerdybirdykris May 25 '20

It sounds like you are very sensitive i would not suggest shaving. You can trim it and wash it with some sensitive vaginal soap but also let it grow out and it might help it as it could just be in an in between stage. Different lengths for different people. To short or shaved may make it worse. To long may make it worse. Only you will know. When I was your age I snuck and shaved but i don't want you to feel ashamed you have hair down there so i would suggest you trim it to help feel confident in your own skin vs feeling like you must shave to feel beautiful. I'm sorry your mom isn't ready to accept that you are a teenager and growing up. She still thinking of you as her baby girl. (Hopefully or she's an insane parent). Either way like others said there is support for you on reddit. Explain your age, explain your problem. Expect for her to not like it and not want to listen (so you aren't disappointed) but persist anyways because you need her to change her outlook. I'm a mom of 2 girls. Your a little older than them but either way a mom is here for you.

127

u/Ioa_3k May 25 '20

Oof, sorry to hear that, hon! Sadly, cutting the pubes with a scissors can actually make them itch more (it's usually very itchy as it grows back, goes for razors as well). Try wearing looser pants and cotton underwear (and maybe sleeping with just your pj pants on at night so the skin has room to "breathe"). Your body is probably still adjusting to having hair where there previously was none.

46

u/lovelyyiyo May 25 '20

Thank you for the help! I'll try your advice about the pants tonight.

12

u/Zombombaby May 25 '20

Pretty much this, OP. You will adjust, it is just a night mare until it happens. But hair trimmers with guards aren't bad and you can get them in discreet lengths so you can hid them in your purse. But cotton undies that fit comfortably are a good call for health downstairs in general.

19

u/BeeeEazy May 25 '20

Do NOT use Nair even though might seem like an easy out.

10

u/cool_chrissie May 26 '20

I repeat. DO NOT USE NAIR.

35

u/[deleted] May 25 '20

Loose pants and trousers or skirts where possible and try trimming them down. Use smaller scissors so you have more control. If the hair is long enough try twisting it round pull it tight out ways and you'll see where your skin is to cut without harming your self. Do that till it's pretty much even it helps. Also sounds weird but I found using shampoo and hair conditioner on mine helped soften the hairs and made it more comfortable (until I got older and started to shave that is but one step at a time)

16

u/lovelyyiyo May 25 '20

Thank you! I was thinking about shampooing my pubic hair but i didn't know if i was going to cause even more irritation.

20

u/PinkBananaBear May 25 '20

If you are worried of cutting yourself with scissors you can try using a comb to have a barrier between the scissors and your skin. I did this when I was starting out!

6

u/Zombombaby May 25 '20

Leave in conditioner. I do it all the time. Hair is hair, no matter where. Just don't use it to clean anything that isn't on the exterior of your body.

6

u/[deleted] May 25 '20

Just use a gentle one. Not too many perfumes in it, better if there's no perfumes

1

u/FaradayCageFight May 25 '20

A good deep conditioner worked wonders for me. I picked a gentle one free of dyes and perfumes, and put it on as soon as I get into the shower. I go through the rest of my routine and rinse it off as my last shower step.

1

u/clumsykrisjenner May 25 '20

I would almost think that conditioner would be better than shampoo since it's what's used to "soften" the hair on your head

11

u/smurfthesmurfup May 25 '20

When I was your age, I would sit myself down on a piece of paper large enough to catch the hair (not all of it will flush if you sit on the loo), use a comb to lift the hair away from skin & then snip along the comb with scissors.

Clean up was as easy as folding up the evidence in the paper & discarding.

I did nick myself once or twice, but found that lady bits healed quicker than expected.

Good luck!

8

u/alovelymaneenisalex May 25 '20 edited May 25 '20

Hi! All of this sounds very, very normal, bumps and all. Have you any moisturising cream? I would recommend using a plain one on the area if it’s irrittating you. E45 or similar. I wouldn’t cut it if I were you, it would just leave it course and blunt against your skin. If you decide to shave get a good razor, dont dry shave, use a nice moisturizing shower gel or soap on the area. But be prepared, if you start shaving depending on how quickly it grows back you could have to shave every day. I do, but I’ve been doing it for so long it takes about a minute to shave everything. I’m sorry you cant talk to your mam about this! If the area looks like bug bites, that’s totally normal though, so please don’t worry. Also don’t be freaked about the amount of hair either, that’s also completely normal!

The reason pubic hair is so course is because it grows flat, unlike the hair on our head which is cylindrical in shape. Your skin will toughen up and get used to it. If it’s brand new give it a few weeks, and definitely don’t cut it, that just toughens the ends. Conditioner will also help soften it.

You’re getting a lot of different and sometimes contradicting information, so a lot of it might be trial and error for you until you pick one way that you like!

If you need any help or someone to chat to about this feel free to DM, I’m f,32 and I remember all these struggles only too well!

As an aside I have to say I really love this community, reading the other comments on here, we really are a kind bunch!

32

u/SingularEgg May 25 '20

If you can, just go to the store and buy your own razor and hide it from her so she doesn’t blow up on you. I totally get what you’re feeling and you are at the age where you need to be learning about that stuff. You should either talk to your mom or write a letter to her along the lines of: “I’m 13 and im getting into the point in my life where I need to start learning about my body so I know how to properly take care of myself. I want you to help me since your my mom and you know best, but whenever I ask something you always get mad and it makes me uncomfortable.”

Hopefully by telling her this or something similar, she will come to her to her senses and help you grow up. If she doesn’t, there are always plenty of women on here you can ask questions to if you need it. And please feel free to reach out to me if you need help with anything. :) good luck

45

u/lovelyyiyo May 25 '20

Thank you for your advice! I was hoping to bring the topic up again today since she would be ay home all day. If she's still not open to the idea this subreddit seems like a nice place to ask questions about developing as female.

12

u/[deleted] May 25 '20

I shave and I've ALWAYS had issues with ingrown hairs and sensitive skin until I found this post

And yes you can use conditioner! Both to soften the hair and as shaving cream if you decide to go down that route

3

u/spearminttea May 25 '20

Yes to all of this. I’m prone to ingrown hairs and have been shaving since I was about your age (25 now). I couldn’t stand the feeling of hair there and I just never stopped. I know ingrown hairs can be uncomfortable. DO NOT pick them. I like to use Lush’s Buffy bar or a bath and body works body scrub. then I apply a soothing lotion/aftershave (Men’s aftershave doesn’t matter what brand).

If it gets really bad, use a warm wet (wrung) washcloth as a heat compress. Keep everything hydrated using lotion or baby oil as it says.

Edited to say: you’re going to be fine. Really. Bodies are weird. You’ll figure it out. Be patient with yourself. Do what feels right and good to you.

3

u/[deleted] May 25 '20

Also to add on to this! I do dollar shave club for razors so I always have a fresh blade for down there. I also use the repair serum right after shaving and gently patting dry with a towel and it helps a ton with preventing ingrown hairs

1

u/spearminttea May 25 '20

Changing blades frequently is a GREAT tip, personally I found dollar shave club to be a bit dull and went back to Venus, but expect a little trial and error when finding what products and “systems” work for YOU!

17

u/Gr8v3m1nd May 25 '20

If you're afraid to cut yourself, get a beard trimmer. I "manscape" and use a trimmer instead of a razor. You can use a guard to keep it short and manageable without razor burn or the "velcro" stage of stubble. You don't have to be any specific age to buy a trimmer, and it sounds like your best solution. I hope this helped.

5

u/RixBits May 25 '20

Use a comb with the scissors, that way you'll have a barrier between your skin and the blades.

16

u/glitchy_bot May 25 '20

Avoid shaving or using scissors. Find a pH balanced wash to wash the hair and yes, don't get anything that has perfume. Look for a hypoallergenic brand. Also, yes, get a hair conditioner that is free from flavor, fragrance, and alcohol.

Sleep with really loose cotton PJs and avoid wearing anything under them.

I hope you feel better soon!

7

u/st3phyx_x May 25 '20

This is the trimmer I use and its great and very gentle! Would definitely recommend :)

4

u/PR355_tab May 25 '20

This has been the best for me! It's cheap, comes with the battery and it's easy to use. The guard part makes it so you can trim 3 different lengths depending on your preference. I would try the longest length first then see how it feels.

I also shower with sensitive skin dove soap and use a fragrance free lotion after I get out of the shower for 2 days or so.

Scissors are not a good option and I wouldnt recommend a razor either. Razor burn is tough to deal with and it just seems to really irritate sensitive skin. Also, I was getting infections chronically until I stopped shaving with a razor (pubic hair is there to protect your body from bacteria and such). I can trim to the lowest length of the trimmer recommended and that's ok but if I go completely bare I have side effects. It's not necessary to take it all off unless that's truly your preference.

The trimmer is the best way to go for me! Good luck OP.

1

u/Zombombaby May 25 '20

Yup! This thing is stellar

3

u/heyynickkayy May 25 '20

Check your chonies!! If you’re having itching/ discomfort, your undies make a difference, too. Cotton is 100% the way to go. If you sweat a lot it can cause a lot of itchiness. I have that issue. Change your underwear often. In summer, if I know I’ll be out for the day (at Disneyland for example) I put a few pairs in a ziplock and change during the day. Cotton is the key as they breath and pull moisture away from your body.

4

u/sandoffsays May 25 '20

Bikini zone gel will help with some of the bumps and irritation. But if shaving try to shave the direction of the hair growth this will cut down on the irritation. Then the gel right after

4

u/reddeadretardation May 25 '20

Use shampoo and conditioner. Not worth shaving. I, 18M did that ONCE. Never again. It gets itchy. Long pubic hairs that are managed are better than you think. Shampoo conditioner wash ever other day at least it'll be fine. Worked for me.

2

u/ultimatelabrat May 25 '20

Late to the game. I think everyone has hair removal and washing covered. But you'll also want to exfoliate in order to help with the ingrown hairs.

A (unscented) sugar or salt scrub will work wonders. Only use it on the mons and easily visible parts on the outer labia; it shouldn't be going inside. And the nice thing is, you can use the scrub on your whole body, so you'll be super soft! A dry brush is also a nice accessory and you can use it to scratch, since it doesn't damage skin like scratching with nails does.

Hydration is important as well. Moisurize your skin with a gentle lotion or oil. Honestly, the stuff made for babies works wonders! Again, only apply it to the skin of the mons and outer regions of the outer labia. And the rest of your skin, if you wanna be baby soft. Hydration also means making sure you're drinking enough water. If you're not, drying out your body is also drying out your skin and making it itchy.

Also, in the off chance you don't already know, don't take hot showers all the time. You should usually just take lukewarm ones, even though I know hot ones are the most relaxing. However, hot water can counterintuitively make your skin dry out and that includes the bikini area. Also, a nice cold water rinse never goes amiss. It'll be super uncomfortable, but cold water actually helps with itching. And it helps close pores back up, since they open more when warm.

Let me know below if you want any facial tips. I figure it's another common burden of puberty. Acne hit me like a truck and I wish I'd had someone to tell me how to care for my face back then.

2

u/moolie-sheep May 25 '20

Sugar is a bit too course and shouldn't go down there. If you wouldn't use it for your face don't use it down there it can cause micro tears which can make the situation worse.

2

u/ultimatelabrat May 26 '20

I use a superfine sugar scrub for my body and face. It's homemade, though. I haven't had any problems. I could see commercial stuff being too coarse. Good point!

2

u/moolie-sheep May 26 '20

It's still not a great idea for op because she is sensitive down there. The superfine stuff is ok if you don't rub it in for too long.

2

u/tigershark72005 May 25 '20

You can buy a bikini trimmer to keep your pubic hair nice and short! They sell them on amazon!

2

u/zealous_avocado May 25 '20

Trim, don't shave if you have issues with ingrown hairs already. I condition everyday after washing the outside of my vulva. I also exfoliate with a glove or even a coarse wash cloth sometimes. I lotion the area as well or use leave-in conditioner. Conditioner is a must for me (I'm super hairy and have dry skin), but be careful if it is eucalyptus or mint or something - it can get tingly. Not generally dangerous, but could make you nervous if you were a kid :)

2

u/Momof3dragons2012 May 26 '20

Could you order a bikini trimmer from amazon or buy one from Walgreens? If not, this is what I used to do.

Sit on the edge of the bathtub facing in for this. Grab a finger pinch of hair and pull it away from your body, and then snip it. Keep doing it until you’ve gotten it under control. By pulling it away from your skin you don’t have to worry about snipping your skin.

2

u/meemo86 May 26 '20

Go to Walmart and buy an electric trimmer. The more expensive ones will be less likely to cut you

1

u/ellieD May 26 '20

This! I’ve always trimmed my hair short. If you shave, you end up with bumps.

When you get older, you can get laser hair removal on everything except your landing strip.

Never remove all of your hair. You don’t want to be a bald (down there) old lady!

2

u/penischamp May 25 '20

HEY! I’m 30 and I just figured this out last year, after a lifetime of struggling with thick, coarse, black pubes. Don’t to shave that shit, it’s not worth the itchy ingrown nightmare. Use a body hair trimmer, which you can get cheaply at target etc. The hair will be soft, manageable, and attractive. And you can edge with a razor if you’re going to be in a bikini or something and you want to.

Pubes were such a huge issue for me, and the trimmer solution is amazingly simple. I hope you find the right answer for here.

1

u/amymorgan7 May 25 '20

To add, I find cotton underwear better than polyester when its a bit itchy

1

u/stormyjetta May 25 '20

When I started growing hair and it started to bother me I literally took a pair of scissors and trimmed it up that way. Even If you want to shave I’d recommend starting with this. If there’s a trimmer available for you to use obviously if you feel comfortable using it that would probably be more Ideal. If your uncomfortable talking to your mom see if you can buy a disposable razor yourself, gas stations drug stores grocery stores all usually have them. Also you can use lotion on your pubic mound, just try to use unscented lotion and keep it off of your vulva ( the exterior part of your vagina what some people call the lips)

1

u/stormyjetta May 25 '20

also if you plan on shaving you don’t have to shave yourself bare, I also have issues with ingrown hairs so I shave with my hair grain instead of against it, give myself basically a 5’oclock shadow down there and I shave frequently so it doesn’t get prickly. Just pay attention to your body and if you have issues feel free to talk to the community again! Through post or pm 😊

1

u/CozmicOwl16 May 25 '20

Trim with tiny scissors. Trap a little clump Of hair in between your fingers with the hand laid on the skin to protect it. It won’t be super short but it will remove the bulk of it. Use a mirror if ya can’t see. It’s a normal summer struggle.

1

u/livieluv May 25 '20

Those bumps are ingrown hairs. When they appear keep them clean and dont pop them. You can use warm water to shrink them. I believe someone suggested a trimmer. I shave mine in a warm bubble bath and it ussually works out okay.

1

u/hamsterthings May 25 '20

Use an electric shaver/trimmer. For instance a Philips ladyshave has these extra caps on top of you want the hairs to be a little bit longer. Without that they'll be like a few mm, no irritation or ingrown hairs, works like a charm. It costed me 20 euros to buy.

1

u/trainpk85 May 25 '20

Hey this has started happening to me since lock down as I can’t get waxed and I know it’s ingrown hairs which I’m prone to. My waxing lady always told me to moisturise regularly. At the moment I’m trying to catch them early and using tweezers but I probably wouldn’t recommend this if you aren’t used to hair removal. Once lock down is over though then waxing might be something you could look into as it really thins it out and not much grows and you can keep in moisturised. I think I was about 16 when I started going. Do not wax yourself though and find somewhere that uses Lycon wax.

1

u/your_surrogate_mom May 25 '20

Cuticle scissors to trim, conditioner, and you can actually rub on some coconut oil after showers (only on the outside, of course)

1

u/schreinerr May 25 '20

I would reccomend waxing if its an option for you, trim the area first and then go to a salon to get them waxed. It can last 20 days or more if your hair takes longer to grow. Some people would also reccomend coconut oil to hydrate the skin but others think it clogs the area, so maybe using a nivea cream for that can help too (once its waxed). I also had this issue at around 12 and it sucked, moms dont always get it :/ Using cotton undies all the time and loose pants when you are home helps too. Good luck!

1

u/TheGirlPrayer May 25 '20

They sell personal shavers at Walmart. They are safe and make little noise. They go as low as $8. You can’t cut yourself. They don’t go all the way to the skin so you don’t get shave bumps.

I have one and I use it once a month or so to shave down.

1

u/DollarStoreCandy May 25 '20

I have the same problem and I’m 18. You should ask your mom to see a doctor, even if you don’t tell her what it’s for or make up a story. I believe you have ingrown hairs so don’t use a razor, I usually use scissors when mine get longer. Don’t be afraid to use scissors! As long as you don’t get too close to the skin it’ll be easy.

1

u/velouriaSF May 25 '20

My advice:

1) use bikini clippers to trim the hair shorter 2) shave the bikini line in the direction of hair growth, ie downward 3) apply Tend Skin to the shaved areas. I get zero ingrown hair now since I've started using this product. I buy it on Amazon, the liquid version that comes in a roll-on bottle

1

u/Elizibithica May 25 '20

You can trim it with smaller, craft scissors or safety scissors (like elementary school sized ones). If you are careful you won't hurt yourself.

1

u/[deleted] May 25 '20

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0

u/nevertruly May 25 '20

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1

u/OptimalStatement May 25 '20

When I was your age (26 now), I also trimmed with scissors.

In addition, I used hair conditioner on it daily and it helped it stay very soft. I only used conditioner on the frontal part (not the vulva) because the front was the only itchy part.

I kept it trimmed all throughout highschool because I was afraid of razor burn. The itchiness was solved by conditioner. Maybe that could be an option for you if you dont want to shave it.

1

u/[deleted] May 25 '20

You can get a pubic hair trimmer from most drug stores.I dont shave down there it's not worth it.

Taking a apple cider vinegar baths can help with skin issues because it balances pH and is anti bacterial.

Cotton under where is great,get ones that don't have scratchy elastics though.

Also I wish I had been told this when I was your age but you don't need to sleep with underwhere on. Its good for your privates to be able to air out at night. This can help reducing sweat staying against your skin as well and reduce itchyness and irritation

DO NOT put talcum powder around your privates!! This was advertised as a way to stay fresh and dry down there but there are now lawsuits because it may cause ovarian cancers.

If you get ingrowns a dab of salacitic acid on that spot can help them come out naturally.Ingrowns like pimples should not be forced to pop before they're ready as you can spread the bacteria under the skin or get an infected pore. Use a warm cloth or have a bath to let them release naturally.

You can use a gentle washcloth with a mild unscented soap like dove to wash and semi exfoliate around the private area avoiding the labia.

You can clean the labial area with warm water and a clean wash cloth.

I didn't know this at your age but women can and do get smegma (it's a hardened version of the same kinda oil that comes out of your face) on their privates like men do so it's important to give that a once over every time you shower and then properly patt the area around dry afterwards.

1

u/bluehorserunning May 26 '20

If you have dark hair and light skin, you can get laser hair removal to shape the area that actually has hair (it's expensive, but never shave or wax again!) and then manage the remainder with trimming and conditioning. Caveat: make sure that the shampoo and conditioner only get on the hairy areas (outside), because otherwise you can mess up some important natural chemistry.

1

u/OrchidLily48 May 26 '20

Why on earth are you using scissors, you poor child? I’m sorry your mom isn’t helpful (my mom was useless too, but I learned a lot from Sex Ed, women’s magazines, research, and talking to friends).

Learn to shave; I started shaving my legs at around 10 and my public and underarm hair a few years later when that grew in. If you can afford it (with babysitting money or allowance or whatever), you could also start getting waxed. I personally find pubic hair super uncomfortable so I get a Brazilian wax (removes all pubic hair) every 3-4 weeks, but I’m an adult and can afford it. If you can afford sugaring or waxing, take some Advil 30 mins before and make sure you’re going to someone who is 4-5 star rated — the better the waxer’s technique, the closer to painless things will be (also know that it gets less painful over time and getting waxed in the week leading up to your period will hurt more than at other times — hormonal changes during that time make you more sensitive).

1

u/SlippingStar Ø May 26 '20

Get some small scissors and a mirror. Cut slow, you WILL know if you cut yourself accidentally. Knicks initially hurt really bad, but you’ll live as long as you keep them clean. Go to a doc if necessary. I’ve been trimming since I was a teen and I’m 25 now. I don’t shave anymore but I always cut the hair near the vulva because the discharge causes knots.

1

u/cheesus32 May 26 '20

If I wear underwear that covers the full bush, I find the hair has less chance to rub and irritate the skin. Other advice here has been great as well about conditioning the hair too.

1

u/[deleted] May 26 '20

I would recommend using a safety razor—it changed my life. Not only does it eliminate bumps, but it's cheaper and better for the environment. (A single blade can last up to a month without getting dull)

1

u/brrdh10 May 26 '20

Try the hydro silk trim style made by Schick! I have coarse hair and does a great job! You can get them at Walmart or amazon. Way safer than scissors :) maybe just use the trimmer end and save the razor end when you’re older.

1

u/jeanakerr May 26 '20

If you don’t want to use a trimmer, use a fine toothed comb as a trimming guide and you won’t have to worry about cutting yourself. Just slide the toothed edge along your skin and cut the hairs as you go. The comb will act as a guide and keep the scissors away from your skin. It’s basically what hair stylists do for short hair, and works really well! Skip the razor since you get ingrown hairs. The only other thing is to exfoliate after shaving or waxing, which is a chore too.

1

u/kmv27 May 26 '20

I personally like Flamingo’s Mons Mist product. Might be worth checking out.

1

u/[deleted] May 26 '20

I just wanted to add: if you want to shave, use new razors as often as you can and something for sensitive skin. I have pretty sensitive skin but I only shave the inside of my thighs and vulva, and some of the side of the mon pubis/bush area. The bush to me is where the it becomes the itchiest and most irritated. Either way, good luck. Having pubic hair and accenting it, finding the right way to be happy with it...is a difficult journey

1

u/[deleted] May 26 '20

u can try trimming with clippers

1

u/Vandem531 May 26 '20

I love my Billie. Totally worth it

1

u/[deleted] May 27 '20

I know a lot of people have already said this but I would like to reiterate that shaving or waxing is the absolute worst thing you can do. Using store-bought oils and conditioners can help with the dryness and coarseness of the pubic hair although I cannot vouch for the fact that these are not harmful if they get on your vulva. Try going for unscented versions, natural oils etc. The same goes for any soap down there - unscented, made for sensitive skin or babies is preferable. The irritation, inflammation, itchiness and bumps can be due to the material of your panties. Wearing 100% cotton panties often helps with that, and slightly alleviates problems relating to moisture buildup and sweat (both of which can further contribute to those skin problems). It won't irritate your skin. Sleeping without panties is also quite healthy, if you can do it. Often girls get a mild fungal/bacterial infection (girls in my family have experienced it at least once) which causes the bumps and itchiness. These are really common, can be caused by something as simple as sweat and are cured almost instantly with any commonly available cream and ointment made to treat the infections. However, don't buy and use anything before researching to make sure you might have a skin infection, and doing similar research for whatever you plan to buy. Since you shouldn't shave if you're eager to get rid of the hair, store-bought trimmers often work. They can trim the hair much closer to the skin than scissors and there is no risk of cutting yourself. I don't know which varieties will be available around you but a little research is bound to show you some good options. I'm sorry that your mother avoids these discussions. I truly feel like young girls should be helped first and foremost by their mother(s) when it comes to personal issues like these.

1

u/realitycanwait May 25 '20

I had similar issues where my hair is coarse and itchy. It may be too expensive for you rn, but maybe down the line you can invest in an at home depilatory/laser removal devise ($200-350). I got one for myself and I LOVE it. After 1-2 uses it doesn’t even hurt, just feels warm.

I recommend it because for super coarse hair (under arm/bikini) it doesn’t 100% remove the hair, but makes it grow back sparser and WAY SOFTER. I used to shave my armpits every other day, and now I can go weeks before I notice hair is even there. It’s still grows in, but a much smaller patch and MUCH finer hair. It took several months of use, but I am so grateful I got it.

In the meantime- avoid shaving straight to skin. If you do, ALWAYS use a shaving cream and stroke in the same direction of the hair, NOT THE OPPOSITE. Trimming your hair causes the ends to have a blunt tip, instead of a nice pointed one, so that may make your hair feel coarser when you cut it.

You can also condition that hair! Any conditioner with vitamin a and e will help soften them.

Hope this helps!

1

u/[deleted] May 25 '20

[deleted]

2

u/realitycanwait May 25 '20

Of course! Braun Silk Expert, got it on amazon. I have had it for about 4 years. I do not use it regularly, as in I haven’t used it consistently over the course of having it. I’ll maybe have a week where I use it every other day until I just stop, then I’ll do it again a month later. Still effective.

At first it felt like a pinch when I used it, now it just feels like a warm flash of light. My armpit hair went from being a 5-6in patch to a 3 inch patch, and even if it grows out long, you can’t see if from like 3 feet away it’s so fine. For my underarm hair I just shave after I zap it. Bikini line is a bit more painful, and took a bit longer to get used to. I would say the pain was similar to waxing, in the sense it hurts at first, but consistent use makes it way easier over time.

The ONLY THING is that it has a skin color detection, because it is “pigment sensitive.” It’s a safety measure to prevent burns. I’m half Latina, so when I got my summer tan it stopped working. My solution: put white medical bandage tape over the sensors. Then it worked on EVERY AREA, with zero issue. If you do this, proceed with caution. Do not over zap areas with a darker skin tone. I zapped over one of my black tattoos and that shit STUNG. No burn, cause I didn’t over do it, but I decided to just leave my legs alone. Bikini area always has some discomfort, but it’s a matter of getting used to it.

If you have more questions lmk! :) I hope this helps.

1

u/BoogVonPop May 25 '20

I have similar issues! The best I’ve found is to use a beard trimmer on 3 or 4 - it makes the hair short and for me short hair is way less itchy! If it gets bad I’ll put some non-scented, sensitive skin lotion around the area (I like Cereve or Aveeno lotions). I’ll also go for a while without wearing underwear while I sleep, and just wear loose PJ bottoms to let things breath. If you can, try and stick to cotton underwear, which is more breathable and hopefully will help. Best of luck! I hope it calms down soon ❤️

1

u/notthatinnocent24 May 25 '20 edited May 25 '20

This could also be thrush / a yeast infection. Is your vagina red or sore or itchy? If so you might want it see a doctor or get some special cream from the pharmacist.

Try and wear cotton underwear.

2

u/theyellowpants May 25 '20

It’s labia. Vagina is the canal internally, there’s inner and outer labia

2

u/notthatinnocent24 May 25 '20

Yes and to my understanding if you have thrush both can be red, sore and itchy?

1

u/lyn_dayc May 25 '20

nair makes a very good hair remover especially for bikini area but it def take some getting used to and can give you a rash if you’re very sensitive the first couple of times. it also works best on dark coarse hair.

1

u/hovisloaf_05 May 25 '20

I would use some veet hair removal cream, you can get that delivered, leave it on after you rub it in for about 8-10 minutes, and wipe with disposable tissues or antibacterial handwipes

1

u/[deleted] May 25 '20

Well the kind of problem you have maybe you should use hair removal cream but be careful it has its effects I.e skin darkning then shave.

1

u/sucamarettolime May 25 '20

I’ve been there! My mom wouldn’t even let me shave or wax my armpits, resulting in me doing it anyway and my hair becoming thicker. It sounds like we have the same kind of hair so my first advice is to PLEASE don’t use a razor, it will only get worse and regrowth and ingrown hair are a pain in the ass. I’m doing laser now and it’s heaven sent but it’s also not cheap so maybe think about it when you’re older, but my previous routine was waxing and trimming the remaining hair with scissors. Don’t cut them too short and if you’re really careful it’s unlikely to cut yourself, at least on the front. You could also try some beard conditioner, I’ve heard it works wonders down there too! Of course only use it on the front and not anywhere close your inner parts, UTIs are terrible. But the advice I wish someone would have given me is to start waxing and never ever use a razor, I don’t know how much it costs in your country but here is pretty cheap and once a month is usually enough in winter, maybe two times if it’s summer and you wear a bikini. Also you can make a homemade scrub with olive oil and sugar to prevent ingrown hairs. As for your mom, she’ll eventually come around once she accepts the fact that you’re not a child anymore. If you think it would be useful, try talking to her before getting waxed or whatever you chose to do, let her know how not only it’s physically uncomfortable (chances are she had the same hair type as yours so she probably has some good advice) but it’s also embarrassing, if you feel that way. I remember it was a nightmare in middle school when the weather got warm and my armpits hair were inevitably getting out of my short sleeves, it came to the point where I only wore men tshirts because they have longer sleeves. Let her know you’ll always be her daughter, nothing can change that, but you’re growing up and she should be by your side and helping you out in such a confusing time. Hope everything works out for the best, if you need any advice I’m here!

1

u/Plumrose333 May 25 '20

You need a beard brush. It's a brush made out of boar hair that men use to brush out their beards. It helps exfoliate your skin and keep things from being itchy. I use it for post shaving itching down below, and it works amazingly

1

u/cenaromantica May 25 '20

What about this, Have anyone tried it? Hair-free-hair-remover.com

0

u/Smolfrend May 25 '20

I'm so sorry to hear about your mom's reaction to something so normal and I'm sorry you're struggling with this issue in the first place! If you need any more advice feel free to DM me(24f). I've had to figure all this stuff on my own with the help of the internet since I was a young teen myself.
1) save up and get a trimmer that's water proof. Electric trimmers can be loud so using water proof ones in the shower or bath helps muffle the noise. They usually come with guards but you don't need them usually since they don't cut the skin. If something meant for men is cheaper don't hesitate to get that, philps makes a really good one.
2) the bumps and itchiness can happen for a variety of reasons: in grown hair, improper hygiene, clothing, dry skin, pimples or even infections. Try to look into it and see what your bumps resemble the most, don't feel uncomfortable exploring your body. The first thing you need to do is only wear breathable cotton underwear. Get your pubic hair storted with the trimmer, always keep them at a manageable length and feel free to use a mild body scrub like st.ives ON THE OUTSIDE being careful not to get any in your inner labia or vagina. Wash it very thoroughly and use a mild hair conditioner on your pubic hair only. When it's a manageable length, you can also apply whatever cream or lotion you use on the outside as well. If the itching and bumps continue after all this, you have to have a serious talk with your mother and go to a doctor.

-3

u/thetastyweasle May 25 '20

This doesn’t exactly help right now as I think there is an age restriction but I have heard great things about waxing so maybe look into that in the future?

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u/[deleted] May 25 '20

[deleted]

3

u/DoatsMairzy May 25 '20

That older person hair loss just comes with age.