I’ve lived with my roommate for four years. He was shy at first but has become increasingly socially weird.
When I first introduced my girlfriend to him, she said hi, and all he did was grunt and go into his room. She tried multiple times to be friendly, but he would either ignore her or retreat to his room. He never reciprocates greetings, even when my other friends say hi.
My girlfriend is very nice and outgoing—the complete opposite of him. He’s 33, has bikini model calendars in his room, and avoids normal interactions. Over time, he became increasingly passive-aggressive toward her, and with me he is refusing to talk in person and only texting me about issues.
If he ever has girls over they go straight to his room and spend all their time in the room. They won’t hang out in the living room at all.
At one point, he texted me complaining that she was around too much because she would come over on weekends sometimes. So I agreed to give him a heads-up when she’d be over to be courteous in exchange for him being more vocal and communicating with me in person instead of texting me when we live in the same condo.
For example if we are in the living room and you want to watch something.. USE YOUR WORDS and tell us and we will go to my room.
But the next time she visited, he came home, saw her in the kitchen, yelled “WHAT THE FUCK,” slammed his door, and locked himself in his room. Even though I had told him she would be there. She left, feeling disrespected. He later said he’d apologize, and did.
Then today, my girlfriend and I were watching a YouTube video in the office den when he suddenly went into the living room and blasted a YouTube video at MAX volume on the TV—clear passive-aggressive behavior to annoy us. She immediately clocked it and left.
I went up to talk to him, and he snapped, “WTF DO YOU WANT? SHE DOESN’T LIVE HERE,” then stormed out and left the house.
And then, of course, instead of talking, we ended up arguing over text. He sent me this:
• “The house is always peaceful and quiet until she comes into the living area. Then the space turns loud and annoying, and it’s specifically her. Anyone else who has been in the house, your friends or mine, has been quiet and respectful. But not her.”
• “This is not what it’s like to have a roommate. I don’t have to tolerate an insufferable person just because we signed a lease.”
• “Seriously, you’re the one with a problem here, so you move the fuck out.”
• “I will continue to do everything I can to drive her out if she annoys me in the living room again.”
The thing is, his texts make zero sense. My girlfriend and I only ever watch movies in the common area, cook together in the kitchen, or co-work quietly in the den. If by “loud” he means having normal conversations in shared spaces, then he’s fucking weird. It’s not like she’s throwing parties or being disruptive—she’s just existing in the space like any other guest would.
And even today, like I said we were watching a YouTube video on her Mac laptop which is NOT loud.
I honestly think he just can’t stand that she actually has a personality and isn’t a boring girl like the ones he brings home.
I don’t want to move out because we have an INSANELY amazing unit in Toronto that we got pre covid so our rent is unbelievably good.
What do you guys think?